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90 days for the heavy addict...
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A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.

TOPIC: 90 days for the heavy addict... 741 Views

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 08 Jan 2019 20:26 #338301

  • EscapeArtist
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Just about 2 weeks in, hormones finally starting to kick back...
Funny how every time I'm a week & a half in I feel like I'm good forever...

sigh.

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 08 Jan 2019 21:06 #338304

  • ColinColin
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The great thing is that you are aware of this and have posted on here.

So take the extra energy from the hormones and use it for the positive.

Either fix up something round the house, visit an elderly relative or learn more

or relax and watch a film or read a book or go for a walk

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 02:36 #338309

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When withdrawal set in by me - also at about two weeks - it was terrible. I was on the verge of tears and highly irritable and desperate for ejaculation.The thing that helped best was strenuous exercise. Physiologically, when one exercises to the point where the heart rate is raised and one sweats, the same calming secretions are released in the brain that are released when masturbating. Withdrawal lasted about two weeks and then began to recede in a noticeable fashion. Hatzlocha buddy. We are here for you.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 10:19 #338319

  • shlomoy
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Lomed I´m very happy of your sobriety.
I WISH ALL THE BEST

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 10:22 #338320

  • shlomoy
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heavy addict....

KEEP IT UP...........good luck
Last Edit: 09 Jan 2019 10:23 by shlomoy.

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 17:35 #338327

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Thank g-d I made it through last nights wedding w/o letting any triggers wash over me & make me crazy. I did at one point grab 2 chairs & meditate with the serenity prayer from SA (yes I know I'm snapping, but hey it helped & i don't think it's avodah zara...).
Withdrawal is crazy. Everyone becomes a trigger. Yes even the secretary in her 80's (a big tzadeikes - Rebbeim stand up for her) started up the annoying tingling feeling...
So far I'm not allowing the lust to take over, it helps so much to get support from the chevra here, friends from PA & SA, & of course, to just hand it over to my "higher power as i understand him".

Thank you all for your support!

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 19:59 #338331

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EscapeArtist wrote on 09 Jan 2019 17:35:
...... I did at one point grab 2 chairs & meditate with the serenity prayer from SA (yes I know I'm snapping, but hey it helped & i don't think it's avodah zara...).
Withdrawal is crazy. Everyone becomes a trigger. 

I'm with you on the withdrawal crazyness, but excuse me for asking... What part did the two chairs play in the serenity prayer?
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 20:05 #338332

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you know, just needed to clench something. Like a squishy stressball.

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 20:47 #338333

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EscapeArtist wrote on 09 Jan 2019 20:05:
you know, just needed to clench something. Like a squishy stressball.

I hear. I guess it was good that you used a chair. For me the stress ball would have probably been a trigger in that situation... 
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 09 Jan 2019 22:32 #338334

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Not sure what a serenity prayer is, but I am with you, I find meditation and a little mindfulness very helpful.

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Jan 2019 00:13 #338336

  • ColinColin
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The Serenity Prayer is:

"Hashem, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

It was written by an American Notzrim minister .
Is there in anything in it which contradicts Jewish belief?
I will leave it to those more educated than me to elaborate.

Last Edit: 10 Jan 2019 00:16 by ColinColin.

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Jan 2019 01:12 #338337

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From Rabbi Shais Taub.
addictionblog.org/spirit/what-does-the-serenity-prayer-mean/The Serenity Prayer & AA

Most people who know even just a little bit about addiction and alcoholism know about “those meetings” where people get together and all say the Serenity Prayer together and then say, “Hi, my name is ____ and I’m a ____.”

Original Serenity Prayer

The truth is that the Serenity prayer did not originate with the 12-Step movement.  Its most well-known version is attributed to the 20th century theologian and social commentator, Reinhold Niebuhr, but many — Niebuhr included — concede that the prayer has been around in various forms for centuries.  Interestingly, the prayer is not part of any religion’s liturgy and, as such, is truly a non-sectarian prayer.

Enough background.  What does the prayer mean?

What Does The Serenity Prayer Mean?

There are three parts to the Serenity Prayer.  The first asks for “the serenity to accept the things that can’t be changed;” the second asks for “the courage to change the things that can” be changed; and the third asks for “the wisdom to know the difference” between the things that can and cannot be changed.

In other words, we’re asking G-d for three things — serenity, courage, and wisdom.  Serenity has its time and place; courage has its time and place; and wisdom is the ability to know whether it’s a time and place for serenity or a time and place for courage.

For instance, being resigned to a situation that can and should be changed is not really serenity so much as complacency, while trying to change something that is just a fact of reality isn’t really courage so much as foolishness. Therefore, we don’t want to use serenity to deal with situations that really call for courage and we don’t want to use courage to deal with situations that really call for serenity.

Serenity Or Courage?

The problem is that self-deception, denial and our inherent prejudices make it hard for us to to tell these two kinds of situations apart.  Sometimes we trick ourselves into just accepting something that really is our responsibility to take care of because we are afraid of dealing with it. In that case, what we really need is courage — not serenity.  Other times, we are convinced that if we would just try harder, come one stronger, give things another chance, then we will be able to alter some aspect of the truth to be more to our liking.  We do this because in our perfectionist drive to control people, places and things, we believe that reality ought to be different than it is and therefore, we are sure, we just need more grit and gumption to see things through.  But what we really need is the ability to let go and let G-d.  We don’t need courage in that situation, but serenity.

So, we pray to our Higher Power to guide us in honestly assessing all situations so that we will come to the proper decision — serenity or courage.

Serenity Prayer Exercises

One general guideline that I have personally found helpful is the “me-you principle.”  If something needs to change, it needs to change in me, while if something about you seems to be my problem, then what I really need to do is realize that you are who you are right now and accept that truth.  It’s funny how it works out.  When I don’t waste my energy trying to change you, I seem to have a lot more energy left over to change myself and when I work on changing myself, I seem to have a lot less problems with you

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Jan 2019 03:11 #338339

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ColinColin wrote on 10 Jan 2019 00:13:
The Serenity Prayer is:

"Hashem, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...."

It was written by an American Notzrim minister


This is something you can change?
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Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Jan 2019 10:39 #338348

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EscapeArtist wrote on 09 Jan 2019 17:35:

Withdrawal is crazy. Everyone becomes a trigger.

Question for you, EscapeArtist, and for anyone else,

Do you find withdrawal the second time around (or the third or the hundredth) easier than the first? You made it to 87 days a few months ago, is it as bad as then?

My second round is much easier than the first in actual withdrawal (itch in the pants all day, sweats, hands - and computer mouse -  automatically starting to go to the wrong place).

If easier, you must psych yourself up that every day you overcome some withdrawal you'll never have to do it to that level again, whereas if you fall today, you will have to relive it next time around (I know, logic doesn't always work with the crazy beast).

Re: 90 days for the heavy addict... 10 Jan 2019 17:10 #338357

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Hard to say. Definitely not as crazy as the 87 day stretch, but I'm only about 2 weeks in now. Previously though, I eventually ended up feeding the beast little bits at a time, so it just got crazier & crazier because I wasn't allowing myself to actually "fall" Once a person's at that point, I wonder if it's smarter (or even muttar perhaps) to "let it all out" so he can start fresh, as the more frustration you cause yourself, the crazier you go, & the more likely to end up doing something much worse. 
I think the long term solution, which I am currently attempting (with a lot of help from SA & fellows from GYE) is to not allow the triggers to get to you Quite difficult at times, but so far its working
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