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RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time
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A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.
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TOPIC: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 2479 Views

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 23 Aug 2018 14:15 #334938

  • Iampowerless
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Day 13.

Doing Pretty ok today. Though the waves feel pretty numb today and I hate that feeling, It's funny but sometimes I'd rather feel bad emotions than Numbness could anyone else relate?

As such there is a little voice in my mind that says "Yankel go act out""That way you will feel the high and get rid of the numbness" But I've listened to that voice in the past so many times and "every single time I ended up feeling way more terrible after so i won't be fooled today by that stupid voice 

I guess i'll go get my high from posting on GYE, Chatting with people, Gym, some mindfulness exsersizes to calm me down Etc, Those ways actually work!

 Love you all Yankele!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 23 Aug 2018 14:17 by Iampowerless.

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 23 Aug 2018 19:14 #334945

  • mzl
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RidingTheWaves wrote on 23 Aug 2018 14:15:
Day 13.

Doing Pretty ok today. Though the waves feel pretty numb today and I hate that feeling, It's funny but sometimes I'd rather feel bad emotions than Numbness could anyone else relate?

As such there is a little voice in my mind that says "Yankel go act out""That way you will feel the high and get rid of the numbness" But I've listened to that voice in the past so many times and "every single time I ended up feeling way more terrible after so i won't be fooled today by that stupid voice 

I guess i'll go get my high from posting on GYE, Chatting with people, Gym, some mindfulness exsersizes to calm me down Etc, Those ways actually work!

 Love you all Yankele!

Learning gemara might clear it up.

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 23 Aug 2018 20:49 #334946

  • Iampowerless
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Unfortunately I once again had a slip, again it happened on the extra computer I have by work. while looking something up that lead to a link on Facebook and me clicking on that same exact profile as last time. Now my yetzer hara want's me so badly to go back. I just can't afford that! I guess I should call people!


 Love Yankel
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 23 Aug 2018 22:09 #334947

  • mzl
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RidingTheWaves wrote on 23 Aug 2018 20:49:
Unfortunately I once again had a slip, again it happened on the extra computer I have by work. while looking something up that lead to a link on Facebook and me clicking on that same exact profile as last time. Now my yetzer hara want's me so badly to go back. I just can't afford that! I guess I should call people!


 Love Yankel

Do you have people to call?

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 24 Aug 2018 15:17 #334962

  • Iampowerless
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mzl wrote on 23 Aug 2018 22:09:

RidingTheWaves wrote on 23 Aug 2018 20:49:
Unfortunately I once again had a slip, again it happened on the extra computer I have by work. while looking something up that lead to a link on Facebook and me clicking on that same exact profile as last time. Now my yetzer hara want's me so badly to go back. I just can't afford that! I guess I should call people!


 Love Yankel

Do you have people to call?

Yes, but sadly I didn't call them 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 24 Aug 2018 15:37 #334964

  • Iampowerless
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Unfortunately I had a terrible fall yesterday, once I fell a little I was pretty much unstoppable. I really hit rock bottom yesterday I had one fall followed by countless others even though I was so dizzy and with no strength left I still kept falling, so much so that this morning I actually fainted because of how dizzy and out of strength I was feeling I was totally crazy. And I think I really was able to understood step one "that our lives had become unmanageable." I guess as terrible as I feel right now, I'm extremely grateful to hashem for once again really helping me understand that doesn't matter what it will take I am sick and I can't continue living this way. And it's about time I take recovery for real. I can't do the 1/2 recovery programs I've been doing so far, I have to go all the way, whatever it takes even If I have to take some bold steps!

As such I agree to the following for the next 15 days (after 15 days I will extend it)

-If I go on any unfiltered computer within the next 15 days (besides for my main work computer which unfortunately I have to go on) I will have to give $100 to GYE regardless of what I do on those computers
-If I fall within the next 15 Days I will also have to give $100 to GYE
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 24 Aug 2018 18:47 #334965

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
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RidingTheWaves wrote on 24 Aug 2018 15:37:
Unfortunately I had a terrible fall yesterday, once I fell a little I was pretty much unstoppable. I really hit rock bottom yesterday I had one fall followed by countless others even though I was so dizzy and with no strength left I still kept falling, so much so that this morning I actually fainted because of how dizzy and out of strength I was feeling I was totally crazy. And I think I really was able to understood step one "that our lives had become unmanageable." I guess as terrible as I feel right now, I'm extremely grateful to hashem for once again really helping me understand that doesn't matter what it will take I am sick and I can't continue living this way. And it's about time I take recovery for real. I can't do the 1/2 recovery programs I've been doing so far, I have to go all the way, whatever it takes even If I have to take some bold steps!

As such I agree to the following for the next 15 days (after 15 days I will extend it)

-If I go on any unfiltered computer within the next 15 days (besides for my main work computer which unfortunately I have to go on) I will have to give $100 to GYE regardless of what I do on those computers
-If I fall within the next 15 Days I will also have to give $100 to GYE

Why not save $200 and go to a free face-to-face meeting?

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 26 Aug 2018 15:07 #334983

  • Iampowerless
  • Current streak: 23 days
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  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 205
mzl wrote on 24 Aug 2018 18:47:

RidingTheWaves wrote on 24 Aug 2018 15:37:
Unfortunately I had a terrible fall yesterday, once I fell a little I was pretty much unstoppable. I really hit rock bottom yesterday I had one fall followed by countless others even though I was so dizzy and with no strength left I still kept falling, so much so that this morning I actually fainted because of how dizzy and out of strength I was feeling I was totally crazy. And I think I really was able to understood step one "that our lives had become unmanageable." I guess as terrible as I feel right now, I'm extremely grateful to hashem for once again really helping me understand that doesn't matter what it will take I am sick and I can't continue living this way. And it's about time I take recovery for real. I can't do the 1/2 recovery programs I've been doing so far, I have to go all the way, whatever it takes even If I have to take some bold steps!

As such I agree to the following for the next 15 days (after 15 days I will extend it)

-If I go on any unfiltered computer within the next 15 days (besides for my main work computer which unfortunately I have to go on) I will have to give $100 to GYE regardless of what I do on those computers
-If I fall within the next 15 Days I will also have to give $100 to GYE

Why not save $200 and go to a free face-to-face meeting?

I started going to live PA meetings every monday!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 06 Sep 2018 17:57 #335361

  • Iampowerless
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Day 14 B'h!

ODAAT Through working the program and keeping in touch with the chevra  I hope to become a sober person! I will continue my commitment for another 15 days until day 30

-If I go on any unfiltered computer within the next 15 days (besides for my main work computer which unfortunately I have to go on) I will have to give $100 to GYE regardless of what I do on those computers. Unless someone is with me in the room AND looking at my screen.
-If I fall within the next 15 Days I will also have to give $100 to GYE

 Wishing all my GYE buddies a sweet, and sober new year!

 Regards Your friend Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 11 Jan 2019 16:38 #338389

  • Iampowerless
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Hello my dear buddies. 

It's been a while since I last posted B'h today i am 141 days clean, I will hopefully describe in a future post what has helped me get to this point!

Anyways lately I have been having some real rough temptations and while I b'h didn't pass my red line and acted out I did have some slips lately. So I decided it's time to get more involved in my recovery, posting on the forum and hopefully helping out others on their journey.

Anyways wishing all my GYE buddies a great and sober shabbos!

 Love you all your friend Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 11 Jan 2019 16:41 by Iampowerless.

Re: RidingTheWavesOfLife - One Wave at a Time 11 Jan 2019 16:47 #338390

  • Hakolhevel
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Welcome back!
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