Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
A recent scientific study shows that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong! See www.guardyoureyes.com/tools/90-day-chart.

TOPIC: New Journey to 90 days 4249 Views

Re: New Journey to 90 days 02 Jul 2018 22:00 #332920

  • Yerushalmi
  • Current streak: 144 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 67
  • Karma: 8
When I first started, I'd commit to myself to stay sober for 48 hours. After that I would say, I can last 48 hours, I can do it again. Then I'd commit to longer periods of time. That is how I was able to stay clean for 144 days (and counting).
There were many stressful moments along the way. Some of the stress was due to a perceived need to act out, sometimes it was the general stress of life (bills to pay, kid getting kicked out of school, a major appliance breaks etc.) that demanded a release. At times I was in a really bad mood, because nothing seemed to work out right. At those low points, I would pour out my heart in Tefilah. I would feel crushed and hopeless, with nowhere to turn, and no solution in sight. I would say something like, Hashem, you are the all powerful. No situation is too tough, and nothing too difficult for you to do. I don't know what to do about...(fill in the blank as needed), and I don't know where to begin seeking a solution. I am throwing myself on your limitless mercy, and asking you to get me out of this, and take care of....(fill in the blank). There is no one else I can ask, and nothing I can do on my own. 

Something else that I found effective in uplifting a tefilah. At a real low point, after asking for my own needs, I would try to ask for someone else's needs. If I know someone who has a similar difficulty in his life, I would daven for them also. After feeling my own anguish for my own situation, I know what the other fellow is going through. I would daven for him too at that moment. Also, do daven for the Shechinah. After expressing my own pain and sorrow, I would say to myself, Hashem's Shechinah is in Galus. If this is the pain that I felt, imagine the sorrow that the Shechiinah feels (Kevayachol). I would ask Hashem to end this Golus for the sake of His own Shechinah. 
By doing this, I would channel the sorrow, pain, anguish that I felt, and use it to for a higher end. To daven for someone else, or to end the Galus. It is a very high level indeed, for someone to daven only for the sake of the Shechinah, and I know that I am very far from it. The words that I would say, however, are all true, and I would try to feel it at least a tiny bit. 

I can not say how many times my situation improved after a heartfelt davening like this. Hashem sent his help in the most unexpected ways. Really. At the very least, sincere Tefilah brings us closer to Hashem, and that alone can make one feel much better.

I hope that  this works for you!
Yerushalmi

Re: New Journey to 90 days 03 Jul 2018 10:44 #332936

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
It does work for me, but the emotions are sometimes too strong. I am powerless to lust and I should be davening to Hashem more and more through the day to help me. Not only for lust but with other stresses.

As for today, I am at that point where I feel like I need to masturbate. I know it's a repeat of my last posts, but I have to learn from my mistakes. I am just reminding myself that I do not need to masturbate. I can call others and especially call out to Hashem to help me. Just for today. I don't need to think about tomorrow. 

Re: New Journey to 90 days 03 Jul 2018 12:22 #332940

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
You can't remind yourself that you don't need to masturbate if you believe you do need it. Reminding is literally that, you forgot about it, and now you remember. If you believe you have no choice you have to prove to yourself that you do have a choice.

Re: New Journey to 90 days 05 Jul 2018 10:48 #333007

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
Today(or at least right now) I'm feeling calm. I had a small slip last night because I saw something but realizing that I'm powerless to lust and surrendering to Hashem helped me. Surrendering to Hashem has helped me with having a closer relationship to Hashem and it helps me realize that He runs the world and He does a great job at it, too. Not that He needs my approval

I know/believe that I don't need to masturbate or look at porn. The lust is telling me that I've made it this far and I've suffered for the past week, why not just look at porn just to enjoy life a little. But in reality I didn't suffer this past week by not looking at porn or masturbating. I actually lived life the past week. I spent time with the family yesterday and was present for most of the time. I'm more present at work. If this is happening now early in my sobriety, I wonder how my state of mind and how present I would be later. 

I also noticed a nice benefit of not masturbating, recently. I don't know if it's related to masturbation but my eyesight got better/clearer. I don't know, maybe I'm just getting old

Re: New Journey to 90 days 06 Jul 2018 11:04 #333030

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
Day 9

I realized that not only do I need to stop looking at porn or masturbate, I need to also keep myself productive and work on myself. I went to the library to get a couple of books to read when I'm bored or when I need to relax. 

Re: New Journey to 90 days 06 Jul 2018 11:10 #333031

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 54 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 6996
  • Karma: 351
iwilldothis wrote on 06 Jul 2018 11:04:
Day 9

I realized that not only do I need to stop looking at porn or masturbate, I need to also keep myself productive and work on myself. I went to the library to get a couple of books to read when I'm bored or when I need to relax. 

Good move, I approve
Life isn't about not porning etc...

Rabbi Twersky books, or Charlie Brown?
Both?
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ A Nice Trucking Story

Re: New Journey to 90 days 06 Jul 2018 20:27 #333055

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
I used to read fantasy fiction like books similar to Harry Potter or even just regular fiction. In the past year or so, I've gotten bored from those types of books. I got more into self improvement books or thinking books. 

Re: New Journey to 90 days 12 Jul 2018 10:59 #333281

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
The past few days have been OK. I had a feeling like I was missing something by not masturbating and looking at porn. I know that I don't need it and it won't give me what I need. What I do need is to deal with my anxiety and do what I need to do not go escaping into TV or porn. 

I was journaling today and I noticed today that I think that I don't deserve friends or happiness because I have lust. Not do I have lust, but I lust after men. I think that I'm not a good person. Just noticing that this is what I say to myself helps me change my thoughts. I would drown that thought by escaping and I denied that I even had that thought. Thinking about it, I might have posted about this feeling before. Maybe I'm just more cognizant of my feelings that it's coming out more. I have to learn to separate the disease and myself. The disease does not define me. I think that's what I need to work on for now. To tell myself that I'm a good person who just has a disease and I do deserve happiness and friends.

Thanks for listening
Heres to day 15.

Re: New Journey to 90 days 12 Jul 2018 12:51 #333284

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
Keep up the good work.

I don't know that I don't need it. I need to learn that every frigging day...
Last Edit: 12 Jul 2018 12:52 by mzl.

Re: New Journey to 90 days 19 Jul 2018 10:46 #333594

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
I had a wet dream a couple of days ago. I even remember what the dream is about. It's been hard to keep it together and not want more. Reaching out to others(getting out of my head) and going to meetings helped. I'm good today BH. 

Re: New Journey to 90 days 22 Jul 2018 20:44 #333724

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 763 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1713
We t dreams usually are actually a good thing. When the subconscious realizes that you consciously wont release any more, it wants its fix, so it takes over when you are asleep
This also subsides eventually.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: New Journey to 90 days 24 Jul 2018 11:21 #333815

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
Day 27. I'm still doing good BH. I'm starting to learn to deal with emotions and not escape into TV or porn or m. I'm not perfect but baby steps. Last night when I wanted to relax I didn't even want to watch TV. I still watched it because I would have been bored and watching TV is better( for me at least) than being bored.
I'm going to make a list of things to do if I'm bored. I do have other things to do when I'm bored I just need to do them. 

Re: New Journey to 90 days 27 Jul 2018 10:38 #333995

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
By the chesed of Hashem today is day 30. I've been feeling great the past few days. I'm actually talking to others without being afraid. I'm not as afraid to be in social events or to interact with others. I'm feeling more positive about myself. The big thing for me this week is that guys who I usually lust after don't really do it for me. I don't even want or feel a need to turn around for a second look. I know that I'm not "cured" or anything but I'm just seeing the results of surrendering to Hashem and having a connection with Him. I have a long way to go but it's nice to see that this(12 steps/surrendering) works. 

I'm been feeling more emotional recently because I took away my escape. It makes me feel more alive and I've been pushing/encouraging myself to just feel what I'm feeling and just journal about it. 

Re: New Journey to 90 days 27 Jul 2018 13:30 #334002

  • mzl
  • Current streak: 28 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 996
Thank you and keep up the good work.

Re: New Journey to 90 days 03 Aug 2018 10:56 #334259

  • iwilldothis
  • Current streak: 2 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 59
  • Karma: 8
Today is day 37. This week feelings from my childhood starting coming up and I journaled about it and just let them be. It was good just to let some of the feelings out. I started becoming more present when I talk to others. Every week is better then the next.
Time to create page: 0.58 seconds