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Starting the journey
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Starting the journey 5891 Views

Re: Starting the journey 02 Mar 2009 21:29 #3477

  • Ykv_schwartz
snibril:
It is at these moments especially that you need to begin addressing yourself in a very real way.  Do not wait for yourself to weaken more.  The longer you wait, the harder it gets.  Do not focus on Teshuva now.  Focus on snibril.  Begin telling yourself how much you hate this yetzer hara.  Look at yourself in the mirror and see how beautiful you are.  Then, with an angry stare, look deep into yourself and you will see the y"h.  YELL at him.  Tell him to get away.  Tell him how much you hate him.  Use real anger against the y"h.  Feel an intense hatred for him.  Then tell him how much he has already ruined your life and there is no place in your life for him.  You will see, he will get scared and after a while will simmer down.  If you act determined, he will back off.  But feel confident.  You must act now.  Do not wait.  Now is the time you know you want to get rid if him. 

You must couple this with intense tefilla.  Start talking to Hashem as you read this post.  Do not wait until shemone esrei.  You cannot afford the time.  Do it now.  Close your eyes, talk out loud, and talk to Hashem.  He is there for you.  Ask him for help.  Tell Him how much you hate the y"h and you want to get rid of him.  Ask Him to ensure you have no urges.  Only he can help you.  If you can shed a tear it will be worth that much more.  But even if you do not feel like doing it, and you do not feel so emotional now, do it anyways.  Just keep talking.

Now you are ready to open your heart even more and ready to stay tehillim to help you.  Begin with מזמור כג. When you say, "גם כי אלך בגיא צלמוות לא אירע רע כי אתה עימדי" put great concentration and daven hard.  Try to cry.  Cry because you know that without Hashem, you are lost.  Cry for yourself.  Cry because you want to come close to Hashem.  Feel the bitachon. Now move on מזמור נא.  Say every Pasuk carefully.  concentrate on all the madregas of teshuvah.  After that you are ready for מזמור קלט.  Say this with intense kavana and out loud.  Feel the words.  You will begin to feel Hashem envelope your life in every aspect. 

Hatzlacha snibril.  You must believe in yourself and that you are a special person with great potential.  Find that specialness in yourself and your own potential, begin to recognize it and allow yourself to grow in the proper direction.
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Re: Starting the journey 02 Mar 2009 22:21 #3480

  • the.guard
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WOW Yaakov. I am speechless.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Starting the journey 03 Mar 2009 11:00 #3487

  • snibril
I fell this morning.  I'll write some more later but I'm feeling a bit ill at the moment with a stomach ache.
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Re: Starting the journey 03 Mar 2009 11:44 #3489

  • the.guard
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First of all, Congrats on your honesty. This alone is an important trait to fighting this Yetzer Hara. Accountability is perhaps the strongest tool of all.
Second, put the past in the past. On GUE, the first lesson we learn is not to let a fall get you down. Everything you gained before is still yours, you just need to get back up and continue. Listen to this 5 minute clip from a Shiur.
Thirdly, by learning from your fall, such as figuring out what caused it, etc.., and by making new fences for yourself, you can actually uplift the fall into Kedusha!
May you have a Refuah Shleimah!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Starting the journey 18 Mar 2009 08:25 #3833

  • snibril
I've been off the wagon for a couple of weeks now, but I'm climbing back on today.
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Re: Starting the journey 18 Mar 2009 11:00 #3834

  • the.guard
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Good to have you back! Read my post above again (reply #33)
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Starting the journey 18 Mar 2009 20:27 #3851

  • Ykv_schwartz
Snibril, I missed you.  Please do not run away again. I was honestly concerned for you.  Please let us know what is happening.  There is no need to feel ashamed.  We all believe in you.  I am happy to have you back. 

There is always room on the wagon. Welcome aboard and enjoy the ride!
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Re: Starting the journey 19 Mar 2009 13:18 #3869

  • battleworn
snibril, when things are not going well, that's when you really need your friends over here. If chas ve'sholom you're ever feeling weak, this is where to come for help. So please don't disappear on us again!

CHAZAK VE'EMATZ!!!
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Re: Starting the journey 20 Mar 2009 12:29 #3906

  • snibril
2 days clean so far. 

Thanks for the support - I'll try and come here as soon as I'm feeling weak in future.  Shabbat shalom everyone!
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Re: Starting the journey 22 Mar 2009 09:53 #3952

  • snibril
Sorry everyone, fell again last night 
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Re: Starting the journey 22 Mar 2009 11:27 #3955

  • the.guard
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Snibril, please give me your thoughts on what I wrote to you in reply #33 above.
Thanks!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Starting the journey 28 Mar 2009 23:31 #4219

  • the.guard
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Snibril, we want to hear from you, Tzadik.

Haba Letaher, mesayen Oso... I saw a nice vort this week. Why does it say "Misayen oso" - in the plural? The chidushei Harim explains that the Malachim created from every time we tried, even if we failed, all together - all the times we tried, they come together and help him succeed!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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