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The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 73312 Views

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 May 2022 04:28 #380854

Hakolhevel wrote on 18 May 2022 01:52:
I'm pretty sick today. And for some reason it makes me want to watch porn more than usual, even though I have no energy.

Maybe im just seeking an escape from feefeeling sick.

That happens, it stinks. I get in when I am fasting also. 

I don't have any good ideas, hang in there.
Check out My Thread and The Truth

(עשה רצונו כרצונך (אבות,ב:ד

Feel free to email me  wilnevergiveupgye@gmail.com

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 May 2022 05:38 #380861

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Vehkam wrote on 18 May 2022 02:14:
Are you bored? Lonely? Call a friend…

All of the above
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 18 May 2022 13:07 #380862

  • Vehkam
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How are you feeling today. I am always up for a phone call….
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 19 May 2022 06:14 #380902

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Hakolhevel wrote on 18 May 2022 01:52:
I'm pretty sick today. And for some reason it makes me want to watch porn more than usual, even though I have no energy.

Maybe im just seeking an escape from feefeeling sick.

refuah sheleima!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 19 May 2022 11:16 #380913

  • Hashem Help Me
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Refuah shleima. Sick days are massive triggers. they usually are accompanied by low energy/low mood and a general feeling of guilt for being unproductive. Sick thoughts start entering the mind - "obviously Hashem does not "hold of me", because if He did, He wouldn't make me sick when i can't get anything done". 

A respected psychologist once commented that it appears the adult brain has a slightly negative default setting (which may have been acquired through life's experiences), and it takes koach to be positive. He said statistics show that when people are tired, and absurd number of people report imaging the levaya of themselves or that of a close relative or friend.

Regarding fasting, there are rabbanim that permit eating on the lower category fast days for guys seriously working on getting clean. It seems that fasting is a major trigger for many typical people, and it is recognized that the cycle of trigger/falling/yi'ush/restarting is taxing to the mental health of most guys.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 20 May 2022 03:46 #380960

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Vehkam wrote on 18 May 2022 13:07:
How are you feeling today. I am always up for a phone call….

Thanks for the offer. I may take it up one day
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 20 May 2022 03:47 #380961

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 19 May 2022 11:16:
Refuah shleima. Sick days are massive triggers. they usually are accompanied by low energy/low mood and a general feeling of guilt for being unproductive. Sick thoughts start entering the mind - "obviously Hashem does not "hold of me", because if He did, He wouldn't make me sick when i can't get anything done". 

A respected psychologist once commented that it appears the adult brain has a slightly negative default setting (which may have been acquired through life's experiences), and it takes koach to be positive. He said statistics show that when people are tired, and absurd number of people report imaging the levaya of themselves or that of a close relative or friend.

Regarding fasting, there are rabbanim that permit eating on the lower category fast days for guys seriously working on getting clean. It seems that fasting is a major trigger for many typical people, and it is recognized that the cycle of trigger/falling/yi'ush/restarting is taxing to the mental health of most guys.

I can definitely identify with the middle paragraph, a default setting of negativety.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 30 Jun 2022 04:49 #382645

  • Hakolhevel
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Shortly after the above post I reach 90 days, and I promptly fell. since then I've been falling every 7-10 days. So where does that leave me?

I've decided I really want to be clean, I really like that life, I know there's a lot I'm going to have to do to obtain that, but I will start with the following:

I need (currently) to spend every day significant time on recovery. When I say every day, I mean every day. Would I do better going to some sort of meeting? Probably . But fir now I will go with this.

I will spend 30 minutes to an hour a day on recovery. Every day (aside from shabbos, and shabbos i never fall anyway, as I only fall with porn) Every day I will either be
1. Working a program (ideal)
2. Listening to recovery recordings3. Reading recovery books.

Currently I'm listening to the daily reprieve podcast (it's SA) and reading man interuppted (by Phillip zimbardo)

However we human beings can easily mistake consumption for progress. As in, well if I'm listening to a podcast, I'm probably getting bettr right? Not necessarily. So to bring it home, ideally I will talk to chaverim, but regardless to make sure I'm getting something out of the "consumption" I will be making anothr thread where I will BE"H post every day something I learned.

How long will this last? Who cares I just need to know that today this is what I'm going to do.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 30 Jun 2022 05:04 #382648

  • Hakolhevel
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My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
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