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The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 49287 Views

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 26 Mar 2019 03:42 #339997

  • Trouble
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 486
  • Karma: 114
Dov wrote on 20 Feb 2017 17:02:
I think Shlomo24 said it all when he wrote that change requires change.
And Shteeble said the truth when he wrote that if it's important to you then spend time on it.
And I agree w Tiger who wrote that opening up to a safe person who understands is the way to go.

All that stuff says to me that if I look at how I conduct myself during the years of acting out, I will learn how to do things basically doing the opposite. Isolation is king when I act out. Heck, even when I'm not acting out, the worse I feel the more I tend to isolate. If I am lusting or angry or sad, boy do I make myself lonelier by trachten un trachten, etc. and 'figuring it all out'...cuz after all, nobody can really understand me, right?

So if I wanna get right, then I need to do the opposite and start learning how to make friends, how to share myself without cleaning off all my dirt first, and to practice doing those things. Thinking about them will not help me. Thinking is a great part of my problem itself because it increases my fantasy of self-reliance and 'salvation through havonah' - and those things lead to one thing: more masturbation (in private, of course). 

And I have learned that fake named friends are not really real friends. So what you really need ain't happening here staying on any forum. But it's a sweet intro.

And I have learned that self-honesty is the fruit of being honest with others. Kind of like na'aseh venishma works...counter-intuitive. The silly brain tells me that I need to first be fully self-honest so that I will know just what to say to others...and that's a lie.

So, continued hatzlocha you are on the path with us knuckleheads!  

Glad to be a fellow knucklehead!
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 16 Jun 2019 03:36 #341760

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 9 days
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 240
  • Karma: 22
Hi everybody sorry for the long delay it's just that the app on my phone keeps crashing every time I try and post or update my thread.

So here it goes after 200 and plus days I had a fa fall or to be exact I acted out in ways that (falling ma makes it sound like it wasn't my fault)

So he here are some observations.

Number 1 check out the thread by real estate mogul there is a discussion regardi regarding cumulative days and streaks. I will just put in my own two cents that I c after being clean for a while it's definitely a different experience and I feel that I have gain a lot and I hope that it will help me in the future

2. There is a saying money can't buy Happiness but it sure can help The same thing can be said about filters they won't make you clean but they sure can help. My most recent stint in the trash can was due to le leaving a unfiltered device around the house. I did not get around to filtering it be I felt I was in a good place and that I w was not in a rush to filter it. I'm not saying i if it wasn't around I would not have acted out. But it has happened before tha That's when the quote candy is not available so easily saner you're thinking takes over before you get to act out.
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