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Journey of one day at a time
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Journey of one day at a time 97083 Views

Re: Journey of one day at a time 24 Feb 2017 04:14 #306692

Which section on the forum is it? Also which maamar chazal are you referring to?

Re: Journey of one day at a time 24 Feb 2017 04:20 #306693

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Balei batim forum.  Remind me to send you mareh mekomos. I have to sign off now
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Re: Journey of one day at a time 24 Feb 2017 19:16 #306752

Day 14: Two weeks of sobriety never caused too much noticable change for me. All it meant was that I had about another two weeks till I would in all likelihood fall. For the past while it's been a cycle of a month clean followed by a fall. 

However, I think these past 2 weeks have been different. Posting everyday, reading the thoughtful responses from everyone, has been tremendous. 

I've learnt alot. Not so much on a conscious level. Not book learning.

More internalizing. It's subtle yet powerful. 

Thank you everyone for your posts, I've read them all. Usually more than once as a matter of fact. 

Good Shabbos!

Re: Journey of one day at a time 24 Feb 2017 19:56 #306754

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Keep up the positive spirit. We will keep on cheering you along.
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Re: Journey of one day at a time 26 Feb 2017 04:26 #306779

Day 15: Had a nice shabbos B"H. I managed to get myself pretty stressed somehow towards the end of shabbos though.

I think it was caused by me trying to push myself to do things. I wanted to be productive, so I learned some Torah and read a book when I probably should have just rested. 

Also, ruminating, getting lost in my own thoughts and self pity probably didn't help

At this point in my life I need to give up on the idea of being exceptional, knowledgeable etc. in order to be healthy. 

I can't do it all for G-d either (as in make serving him my purpose).

Until I have some more clarity and sanity it holds the key for me to multiple neuroses. 

Sorry if that was unclear. In truth I have much more I want to write. I'm just too tired and farmisht (bonus points if you know what that means) to formulate anything in an even slightly coherent manner.

Gut voch!
Last Edit: 26 Feb 2017 04:43 by Ihavestrength. Reason: Forgot something

Re: Journey of one day at a time 26 Feb 2017 20:59 #306862

Day 16: I have a bit of an inferiority complex. I think it's driven by two things. One, my struggle (and failure) with lust. Two, my ineffectiveness and inability to do anything I need to do. 

I need a victory I think, quite badly. 

Will all (or some) of my problems go away after 90 days? Specifically my problem of ineffectiveness? 

Should I give up on learning what I need to (in yeshiva) and fail? For the sake of my sanity, which is currently of such weak constitution that it can't stand any stress? 

Re: Journey of one day at a time 26 Feb 2017 21:17 #306865

Giving up and failing will NOT take away your stress. If anything, it would probably add to it. You can do something good and that will help you to feel good. Pick an achievable goal and when you achieve it, you will have your victory that you desire.
Perhaps take a Torah shiur given by Rav Fishel Shechter on torahanytime.com OR Rav Y.Y. Jacobson. They are both VERY inspirational. Listen to the shiur, pausing it to take notes. Then, write it up (the main points, or at least 1 central point) and post it here for us to read and gain from.
Believe me, that is a major victory and feels awesome!
Last Edit: 26 Feb 2017 21:23 by Yosef Tikun HaYesod.

Re: Journey of one day at a time 26 Feb 2017 21:20 #306866

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Whats great about Yosef's idea is when you realize how helpful you are being to others it gives you great impetus to stay clean. Whether its to write over a shiur or some other piece of good advice, you will feel very good about yourself. Keep strong! You can do it
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Re: Journey of one day at a time 26 Feb 2017 23:25 #306889

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 26 Feb 2017 21:17:
Giving up and failing will NOT take away your stress. If anything, it would probably add to it. 

Giving up and failing would add stress on one day. The day of the test. I'd have to answer to some people (parents) why I failed and it might be uncomfortable. Having to work on a goal that I don't find meaningful and is not making me feel accomplished is stressful every single day I'm working on it. 

I'll allow that the goal you suggested is meaningful. 

Re: Journey of one day at a time 26 Feb 2017 23:43 #306894

When I'm feeling good I'm almost immune to triggers. When I'm down I become allergic. 

I started watching a comedy to try and cheer up but it was massively triggering and had the opposite effect. Seeing what you know you can't have ain't fun. Tried watching an older show (they're generally cleaner) but it STILL managed to trigger me. 

So, I did some vigorous exercise which took off the edge a bit. It's crazy how depression suddenly strikes. I'm fine one day, a total wreck the next. It's like there is a button in my brain that I pressed by accident (by thinking/doing certain things) which caused the whole system to crash. 

Re: Journey of one day at a time 27 Feb 2017 08:37 #306929

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Ihavenostrength wrote on 26 Feb 2017 23:43:
When I'm feeling good I'm almost immune to triggers. When I'm down I become allergic. 

I started watching a comedy to try and cheer up but it was massively triggering and had the opposite effect. Seeing what you know you can't have ain't fun. Tried watching an older show (they're generally cleaner) but it STILL managed to trigger me. 

So, I did some vigorous exercise which took off the edge a bit. It's crazy how depression suddenly strikes. I'm fine one day, a total wreck the next. It's like there is a button in my brain that I pressed by accident (by thinking/doing certain things) which caused the whole system to crash. 

What comedy? Horton Hears a Who? or American Pie?

You pick your poison, haha.

Hope the depression lifts up. I think what you're describing is the normal up-and-down of life. Rav Shimshon Pincus desribes it in his sefer on Chinuch. When you believe all is well, then that's the beginning of the decline. So always keep looking ever higher. 
How vigorous an exercise? I find a good 7k run knocks my doldrums out.
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Re: Journey of one day at a time 27 Feb 2017 08:53 #306930

"Curb your enthusiasm", which on a normal day wouldn't be triggering, followed by "Hogan's Heroes". 

My thoughts while watching "Hogan's Heroes": (directed at German Kommandant) Darn it, did you really need to have such a pretty secretary? 

Definitely regular ups and downs of life. I'm in my early 20's and I just haven't figured everything out yet. 

Not quite a 7k, but still pretty vigorous. You do different exercises with very little rest between and then repeat for another circuit. Thinks it's call low interval training or something. 

Btw did you know there is a live feed you can watch on YouTube of earth being filmed from the ISS?
Last Edit: 05 Mar 2017 01:17 by Ihavestrength.

Re: Journey of one day at a time 27 Feb 2017 22:48 #306982

Day 17: Thank G-d much better day today. Decided to stop making excuses and just do something. Davened with a minyan, learnt a solid amount, and was generally more productive than usual. Trying to be responsible and stop whining. Trying not too look for happiness and instead allow it to ensue. 

Re: Journey of one day at a time 27 Feb 2017 23:05 #306984

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Ihavenostrength wrote on 27 Feb 2017 22:48:
Day 17: Thank G-d much better day today. Decided to stop making excuses and just do something. Davened with a minyan, learnt a solid amount, and was generally more productive than usual. Trying to be responsible and stop whining. Trying not too look for happiness and instead allow it to ensue. 

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Re: Journey of one day at a time 27 Feb 2017 23:18 #306985

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Ihavenostrength wrote on 27 Feb 2017 08:53:
"Curb your enthusiasm", which on a normal day wouldn't be triggering, followed by "Hogan's Heroes". 

My thoughts while watching "Hogan's Heroes": (directed at German Kommandant) Darn it, did you really need to have such a pretty secretary? 

Definitely regular ups and downs of life. I'm 21 and I just haven't figured everything out yet. 

Not quite a 7k, but still pretty vigorous. You do different exercises with very little rest between and then repeat for another circuit. Thinks it's call low interval training or something. 

Btw did you know there is a live feed you can watch on YouTube of earth being filmed from the ISS? 

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