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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: My Journey... 10415 Views

Re: My Journey... 30 Jan 2017 11:21 #304576

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Wow new beginning that is amazing work!
Hopefully this new job will help move your focus fully to recovery headspace - help keep you busy and fulfilled.
Brocha vhaztlocha!

Re: My Journey... 19 Feb 2017 19:53 #306159

  • newbeginning
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BH Today is my 52nd day clean - I feel like I have come so far in the past couple of months or so. The Taphsic method has proved invaluable to me. I am sticking to most of my daily schedule, I just need to at least pop into GYE for 10 mins a day and read part of an ebook (on this issue) for 10 mins too.

Tomorrow, I am starting my new job

Re: My Journey... 19 Feb 2017 20:20 #306160

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Enjoy your new job!
It should help bring you self-fulfillment which is a big secret to succeeding that is often not discussed.

Re: My Journey... 19 Feb 2017 20:33 #306162

Amen
Great work keep us updated
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h











very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My Journey... 20 Feb 2017 08:18 #306216

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Hatzlocha on the new job! May it keep you occupied!
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


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Re: My Journey... 26 Feb 2017 16:57 #306841

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BH Today is my 59th day clean.
Since Friday my brain has been in overdrive, the whole time I was having sexual thoughts and the feeling were getting out of control. I was thinking to myself "wow, how sick must I really be deep down", I couldn't do anything without having a dirty thought, I was over sensitive to everything. These thoughts kept with me until about 1 hour ago, where I just wanted to give in and fall, although I knew I couldn't just act out because I have my taphsic method. (see page 1 or 2 of this topic). I started working my way through taphsic method e.g. turn off all electronics, read tehillim with concentration for 10 mins, listen to Jewish music for 15. By the way BH whilst I was listening to music, I was literally in tears because I felt clarity again, I felt the urge fading away and I went from such a low to such a high, I just wanted to be close to HKBH and I saw that behind this whole test, He was there.  The taphsic method is really invaluable!!! it may take a few hours to really read and internalise the whole (7part?) article on the method, and to try and create your own plan but it is really worth it. 

I just wanted to share a nice idea I had whilst reading Tehillim chapter 26. Artscroll sum up this psalm by saying 'A righteous man walks in purity and with vigilance, and prays for Divine help in avoiding life's pitfalls'. This psalm was perfect for me especially whilst facing the big urge for lust, verse 2 consists of asking Hashem to 'Examine me, Hashem, and test me ,scrutinise my intellect and my heart'. In other words, test me to show how serious I am in attaining purity, I want to prove myself to Hashem that I really care about being pure, and I will put in my effort and the rest is down to Hashem.

Thanks for everyone's support on my journey

Re: My Journey... 26 Feb 2017 17:05 #306843

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* I must also add that I have completed my first week at work (so maybe there was a lot of stress pented up inside of me, but in my workplace there is so much rude / disgusting / sexual talk happening, I can't escape it, including from my Manager. (I'm currently working in the stock/store room of a hospital in the pharmacy department) so people can say whatever they want down their pretty much.

My boss also came up to me and says she hasn't seen a jew here in 20 odd years, and she hopes I will stay because she knows that this isn't really a jewish job (hmm slightly stereotypical). BH I have a job, and I need the money for bills etc so I can't just leave, and I am hoping of making a career out of this. I was stressed at one point, because I just didn't know what to do...  

Re: My Journey... 27 Feb 2017 10:04 #306938

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newbeginning wrote on 26 Feb 2017 17:05:
* I must also add that I have completed my first week at work (so maybe there was a lot of stress pented up inside of me, but in my workplace there is so much rude / disgusting / sexual talk happening, I can't escape it, including from my Manager. (I'm currently working in the stock/store room of a hospital in the pharmacy department) so people can say whatever they want down their pretty much.

My boss also came up to me and says she hasn't seen a jew here in 20 odd years, and she hopes I will stay because she knows that this isn't really a jewish job (hmm slightly stereotypical). BH I have a job, and I need the money for bills etc so I can't just leave, and I am hoping of making a career out of this. I was stressed at one point, because I just didn't know what to do...  

I'm so happy it's not just me with insane parnossa issues. But I hope your situation improves. And The humility you're gaining for a job that may be under your honour will work heavily in recovery.

KOT!
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
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Re: My Journey... 05 Mar 2017 16:10 #307453

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BH 66 days clean - Wondered if anyone also has bad dreams in which they fall, and have to start from day 1  (the feeling of regret and pain feels so real) and it takes me a few seconds when I awake, to realise that it was all a dream.

Re: My Journey... 05 Mar 2017 17:27 #307456

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newbeginning wrote on 05 Mar 2017 16:10:
BH 66 days clean - Wondered if anyone also has bad dreams in which they fall, and have to start from day 1  (the feeling of regret and pain feels so real) and it takes me a few seconds when I awake, to realise that it was all a dream.

Ya we were just discussing it here.

Re: My Journey... 06 Mar 2017 08:31 #307552

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I love those dreams. When I wake up and I'm like, oh, I actually didn't do anything wrong... huh... OHHH YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?"
"... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"

One day... At A Time :-D


Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley!
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Re: My Journey... 06 Mar 2017 20:22 #307595

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Haha the feeling is incredible!! Makes me even more determined!

Re: My Journey... 06 Mar 2017 23:02 #307606

Your thoughts are also like dreams.

Re: My Journey... 06 Mar 2017 23:36 #307609

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That's actually an interesting perspective. I like that. Sometimes I get so caught up about thoughts and yet I don't get caught up about dreams.
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: My Journey... 07 Mar 2017 05:11 #307623

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newbeginning wrote on 05 Mar 2017 16:10:
BH 66 days clean - Wondered if anyone also has bad dreams in which they fall, and have to start from day 1  (the feeling of regret and pain feels so real) and it takes me a few seconds when I awake, to realise that it was all a dream.

I can relate

I had such a craz dream 2 nights ago. 
But not all the way. 
I was opening one door after another, looking... seeking... expected to find [deleted comment so moderator doesn't have bad dreams], but came up empty 

I think it's because Thank GD - I mean it's craz!
1 1/2 years since searching for porn?? So my memory isn't that good and bad pictures are harder to retrieve, so my dreams are boring [sometimes]
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
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