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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Me2's journal 5470 Views

Re: Me2's journal 02 Mar 2009 19:27 #3471

  • the.guard
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Me2 - you are from Hashem's true super-heroes!!

"Falling is part of the process" can only be said about the past. NEVER about now or the future. See this page for more on this  deep concept, which is a Yesod in understanding Hashgacha Upratis.

The Ba'al shem tov explains that we must look at the past as "it had to be that way" (i.e. part of the process, so we could learn from it and grow and do Teshuvah, etc...), but "the Now" is totally and completely up to us to decide. U'bacharta Bachayim!!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Me2's journal 02 Mar 2009 21:27 #3476

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i'm glad you challenged me on this, this will make me explain it more clearly, even to myself. what i meant was this: NOONE starts out just going straight up without slipping back.as long as you end up higher than where you started, then the slips are accounted as part of going up.so, progress is NOT a straight line up, it's a zig-zag line, with ups and downs, with hopefully the point at the end of the line is higher than the point at the beginning of the line.in my case, i was up and down, up and down for 38 long years without ending up higher than where i started.until i found gue that is..
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Re: Me2's journal 03 Mar 2009 13:26 #3492

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another example of how falls is part of going up. let's say you are learning a piece of gemara.now, gemara is difficult, and you'll get it wrong, let's say, the first 10 times you look at it.but then on the 11th time, you get pshat.dont we count the first ten times as schar limud? even though in our minds it was wrong those 10 times? like guard said, falls in the PAST are part of growing, not to use this knowledge as an excuse for the FUTURE, G-d gorbid!! how's that? better?
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Re: Me2's journal 03 Mar 2009 15:18 #3494

  • Yankel
Much clearer, thanks for clarifing
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Re: Me2's journal 03 Mar 2009 15:39 #3496

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Well put Jack!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Me2's journal 03 Mar 2009 16:24 #3498

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and EVEN more... if, during those 10 times that we did not have pshat yet, would we give up?? or, would we keep searching, and be amal betorah, knowing that when we finally would get pshat, that it would be the sweetest thing in the world-the truest of all truths.of course not, we would NOT give up.and WE here on this forum should not give up just because we don't have pshat yet.and it might take years, yes years.dont you know the story of a rosh yeshiva (i cant remember who - it doesn't matter) who was dancing in his study, and a talmid asked him about it? he answered 'i've been struggling with this gemara for 20 years, and i finally got pshat, so i'm dancing.all that work, all that ameilus, went into his schar limud.in bechukosai rashi says we must be amalim betorah - when will success come?? who knows?? but to be amail - that we must do.and it involves slips and falls.
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Re: Me2's journal 03 Mar 2009 20:37 #3509

  • me
And someone who didn't understand P'shat even after 100 times?  It is brought down that when he goes up to shemayim after 120, he will understand EVERYTHING that he was learning down here. What ever he worked for, when he goes up, he will understand it all.
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Re: Me2's journal 04 Mar 2009 01:11 #3518

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Me, it's been 100 times. I am confident you will get the Pshat. Here on this world. Don't wait till 120. Ki Karov Elecha Hadavar Me'od!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Me2's journal 04 Mar 2009 14:35 #3531

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i dare say that if you leave this world at 120 and still dont have pshat, as long as you tried, you still get schar for trying.
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Re: Me2's journal 09 Mar 2009 22:14 #3667

  • Yankel
Today is 6 weeks/42 days b'h this past week wasn't too bad. I look forward going into purim with a streak like this. Hatzlochah to all !
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Re: Me2's journal 10 Mar 2009 00:12 #3668

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If this doesn't get us all dancing on Purim, nothing will!!!

Everybody, I want to hear you all say ME 2!!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Me2's journal 14 Mar 2009 20:05 #3763

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Chart Updated!

How was Purim Me2? Keep up the good work!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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Re: Me2's journal 16 Mar 2009 14:04 #3796

  • Yankel
Today is 7 weeks/49 days. Purim was amazing I did a lot of davening for a kapara and for help in the future .Recently I have been guarding my eyes in the street which is something that is kind of new to me. I realized that when I was looking at porn on the computer, I didn't have to be careful in the street because the women in the street were not enough to arouse me but now that I have stopped I have to be a lot more careful even in the street. In my life I was never at the level of being careful when outside(I would think of it as ultra pious even absurd) but it feels great ! I cant believe I have gone for so long--somthing I can only attribute to guard and this site!
Hatlochah to All!
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Re: Me2's journal 16 Mar 2009 18:57 #3802

  • Ykv_schwartz
me2 wrote on 16 Mar 2009 14:04:
In my life I was never at the level of being careful when outside(I would think of it as ultra pious even absurd) but it feels great ! I cant believe I have gone for so long--somthing I can only attribute to guard and this site!
Hatlochah to All!

Yes it feels great!  It is good to remind ourselves this contrast.  The life of a baal teshuvah is great.  And the pre-life is horrible. 
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Re: Me2's journal 17 Mar 2009 00:05 #3812

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Wow, 49 days! Kabbalas Hatorah after 7 weeks of Sefirah, kineged the 7 days of Nidda (see the Ohr hachayim Hakadosh). May you be Zoche to true Kabalas Hatorah!

Yes, once we stop the really bad stuff, we become more susceptible to triggers from the street. It is VITAL to learn Shmiras Ainayim on the street as well. However this is hard, so don't kid yourself. It can take a lot of effort and a lot of time. But it's the small tries that we keep persisting in, and even if we end up slipping - we keep trying again and again, and ultimately we will succeed in totally guarding the eyes!!

This is a very high level that not many are zoche to reach. And think about it. We were only Zoche to it because of our previous sins.
How wondrous and hidden are the ways of Hashem!

Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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