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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Here we go 54634 Views

Re: Here we go 31 Mar 2016 14:55 #283073

  • realsimcha
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Nobody is better than anybody else. If you are a person trying to serve Hashem without the disease of lust and acting out, than you are a shining star in a dark world, and you are special to the Almighty for fighting the good fight. You didnt choose this fight. The yetzer hara [along with all his helpers from within and out] started it. With courage and dedication you are fighting it. And with submission to Hashem you will win it one day at a time.

Go ahead and welcome the next courageous warrior.

Re: Here we go 01 Apr 2016 05:03 #283162

  • Josephsbrother
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Aryeh821 wrote:
Day 2 again
ive been sick since monday -being sick has never been good as it basically means im stuck at home with nothing to do for 24 hours and there are usually two unfiltered devices in the house my moms iphone and ipad (i really need to work on getting them filtered) i managed to pull through (im going back to yehsivah in a few hours) mostly becuase of the chart and reading about how everyone else had managed to do so well really inspired me so thanks all
i had a uh-ha moment a few nights ago when during night seder when i should have been learning with my chavrusah instead we were having a argument i forget about what and i was in the middle of saying "i have way worse willpower and self-control -and then i stopped in mid-sentence you see i had in mind my addiction when i said that and i had a uh-hah moment when it really hit me its not about willpower its about givivng over the struggle to Him because you cant fight an illness with willpower will add more later i gotta go 

We have more than an illness, we have an empty place for a relationship of producive multiplication, not even our mate can fill the void, only our Maker who gave us the desire to be fruitful and multiply can fill the relationship, If we seek the One, and others will be able to take and sub-position.  We can seek each things, and only temporily have a few of the important things to us, and then we might even lose those in addiction, we need the One spirit of our universe, seek one center orbiting goal, and I have been learning, that even though like a sheep with wants, in my Shepherd all want is satisfied righteously.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: Here we go 01 Apr 2016 17:31 #283217

  • Aryeh821
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Day 4 
the line soberity brings clarity never really hit home until yesterday (it probably still didn't to be honest but to some extent it did) as each day goes by and I'm sober I become more and more disgusted with what I was an hopefully will never do again it really hit me that I was completely destroying myself and was gaining nothing and in fact losing so much every time I act out 
of course I always "knew " this but never really internalized it I probably still haven't but I'm getting there one day at a time 
feeling a little too depressed (yeshivah problems) so going to head over to the depressed persons chill spot 
thoughts?
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: Here we go 01 Apr 2016 18:03 #283226

  • thanks613
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Aryeh821 wrote on 01 Apr 2016 17:31:
Day 4 
the line soberity brings clarity never really hit home until yesterday (it probably still didn't to be honest but to some extent it did) ...

of course I always "knew " this but never really internalized it I probably still haven't but I'm getting there one day at a time 

feeling a little too depressed (yeshivah problems) so going to head over to the depressed persons chill spot 
thoughts?

I'm not qualified to offer help, but I think I'm still allowed to have thoughts-  

Though if I'm not allowed, then I really shouldn't be thinking about it.

In fact, even thinking about whether I can be thinking about it might be a problem, so I will just say it and then I won't have to think anymore.

Iv'e heard people say that recovery is progress, not perfection, which seems to be a common thread in you post - so I like your positive thinking.  I also heard a talk from one of Dov's recording yesterday and he said "I tasted integrity, and I don't want to go back".  That struck home for me, and I hope it helps you also.

Hatzlacha

Re: Here we go 01 Apr 2016 18:13 #283229

  • Aryeh821
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Thanks I really appreciate the input and feel free to offer whatever advice you have (I'm not saying I'll listen but you might as well try:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:)
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 
Last Edit: 01 Apr 2016 18:14 by Aryeh821.

Re: Here we go 01 Apr 2016 18:40 #283232

  • Aryeh821
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thanks613 wrote:
I'm not qualified to offer help, but I think I'm still allowed to have thoughts-  

Though if I'm not allowed, then I really shouldn't be thinking about it.

In fact, even thinking about whether I can be thinking about it might be a problem, so I will just say it and then I won't have to think anymore.

Iv'e heard people say that recovery is progress, not perfection, which seems to be a common thread in you post - so I like your positive thinking.  I also heard a talk from one of Dov's recording yesterday and he said "I tasted integrity, and I don't want to go back".  That struck home for me, and I hope it helps you also.

Hatzlacha

There was a quote I Believe from one of the chizuk e-mails it said "sobriety is a journey not a destination "
 
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 03:01 #283285

  • Aryeh821
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Day 6 I wasn't going to post but then I realized that if I don't post today I'm not going to post till Friday 
so ,one more day and then a new highest streak
sorry for the newbieness qagain but what's the 3 second rule in regards to shemiras einiem?
shabbos was good ,no major issues to report just the usual trying and at times failing to work on shemiras einiem the yetzer hora tried to get me today -there are two entrances/exits to the shul I davened in and one generally has a lot more pritzuis there so usually I go through the other one but today the yetzer hora had some very convincing reasons why to go by the bad one instead of arguing with him I closed my gemarah got up and just ignored him and left through the "safer" door 
thoughts?

and. I'm not sure where to put it but here that It's really an amazing honour for one of my posts to be nominated for post of the year I still think My post shouldn't be there as I need the advice/chizuk to be given to me not giving it out but markz know what he's doing so I ain't gonna argue *shrugs shoulders*
 
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 
Last Edit: 03 Apr 2016 03:05 by Aryeh821.

Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 03:09 #283287

  • Markz
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My thoughts are you gotta put your head in the Gemara and walk out like that. That's true walking through the "Sefer" door, although you might bump into a lamppost, the rabbi, or your future wife, so its not so advisable.  unless she's got a Tehillim on her nose too - you will then have met your match - figuratively (ouch - and Mazel Tov too)







Kidding aside, you're doing great trucking 7 days a week

The 3 second rule is in the "Free Towing" page in my signature

GV KOT

 
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Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 03:21 #283290

  • Aryeh821
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Thanks markz I really really appreciate all the input your mix of humour optimism truckingnness and wisdom makes true-ly makes you special and I can neither confirm nor deny that I stalk you to see when you post things so I can get my daily dose of mark (especially when it's on response to one of my posts)
(I actually bumped into some branches today as I was catching up on shniyam mikra on the way to my suada -the branches told me to leaf them alone;)
and a gut voch  to you too
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 03:52 #283297

  • Aryeh821
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Last question I promise (no I don't) how do I edit/create my signature
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 04:35 #283307

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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I'd like to nominate "truckingness" as Word Of The Year. 
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...





My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 14:39 #283337

  • Markz
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Go to "edit profile" in the forum, and edit your "signature"

KOT
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: Here we go 03 Apr 2016 17:43 #283367

  • thanks613
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Aryeh821 wrote on 03 Apr 2016 03:21:
I can neither confirm nor deny that I stalk you to see when you post things so I can get my daily dose of mark 

If that's a crime, then book me, cause I ain't givin' it up 

Also, could you give a link to your post of the year? Thanks
Last Edit: 03 Apr 2016 17:44 by thanks613.

Re: Here we go 05 Apr 2016 22:01 #283644

  • Aryeh821
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Day 8 LONGEST STREAK WOOOOW
would love to post  more but have to run see everyone friday
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 

Re: Here we go 08 Apr 2016 17:28 #284039

  • Aryeh821
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Day 11hey all so 11 days that's my longest streak in years probably since 2013 (as i typed it really came as a shock to me as how far I had sunk and never really realized 3 years with not even 11 days free wow)
so the week had its ups and downs I would say unfortunately mostly downs it was hard with no one to talk to about the lust
last night while showering it really hit me and I  just turned to G-D and said
"G-D I can't do this , this addiction is a wave that will not rest until I am drowned and i know if I fight I will only be pushing of the inevitable so G-D I'm not going to fight against the wave I'm just going to continue on with my life and let you split the sea" I guessed it worked because I'm still sober 
would anyone be able to pm thier number so in a weak moment I can call them I would give you mine but I'm going to be calling from a payphone in yeshivah so that wouldn't work
thoughts?
Soberity is a journey NOT a destination 
 
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