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TOPIC: enough is enough! 8579 Views

Re: enough is enough! 18 Dec 2018 04:00 #337903

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Recently i was thinking that a big reason I cannot act out is because of the collateral damage my family suffers ( I get depressed/full of self hatred and basically project it on my wife and children) I cant yet determine if this attitude is a good tool or not as Ive B'H been doing pretty good..

Re: enough is enough! 23 Dec 2018 08:00 #337969

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What's the Gye take on Shovavim ?
I assume its different depending on where someone's holding , I just want to hear the general Hashkafa

Re: enough is enough! 23 Dec 2018 12:35 #337972

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What exactly is your question? What hanhaga of Shovavim are you referring to? Shovavim has been around for a very long time. It is a zman that is mesugal to work on these inyonoim. Many communities use this time period to give appropriate shiurim. There are kehillos that fast (some do half day fasts) on Thursday or Friday of these weeks, and there are slichos printed in some siddurim. Some even lain Va'yechal by mincha. Many say added tehillim during this time period - there are those that complete the entire sefer tehillim with a minyan. And i am sure that there may be many more beautiful minhagim relating to this zman. As long as one is basically stable, any of the above (maybe with the exception of fasting for an entire day) would be appropriate for one who is looking to ask Hashem for kapara for the past and shemira for the future. That being said, if one will get depressed by focusing so heavily on this, it may be advisable to avoid arousing possible negative feelings. Similarly, one who finds himself obsessing on the inyan may be better off keeping everything as is.
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Re: enough is enough! 23 Dec 2018 16:30 #337979

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That's a great summary

Thanks

Re: enough is enough! 23 Dec 2018 17:29 #337980

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mmaybe lkavod shovavim you can have a great every day to thank Hashem that you found get and your working on recovery. That's what I would do. (and learn select sefarim)
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: enough is enough! 23 Dec 2018 17:30 #337981

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mmaybe lkavod shovavim you can have a treat every day to thank Hashem that you found get and your working on recovery. That's what I would do. (and learn select sefarim)
Formerly mikestruggling I just bought a truck. l hang out in the trailer and G-d drives. 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: enough is enough! 25 Dec 2018 03:04 #338009

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Any suggestions ?

Correct me if im  wrong but it sounds like the classic trap - " I'm such a loser I might as well be unproductive and read articles.. and than-  see all I do is waste time reading articles .. back and forth and then if Im a waste than I might as well act out...
I would say This is my biggest obstacle to being completely free - any good tips n tricks you learned along the way?

Re: enough is enough! 25 Dec 2018 03:40 #338010

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i-man wrote on 25 Dec 2018 03:04:
Any suggestions ?

Correct me if im  wrong but it sounds like the classic trap - " I'm such a loser I might as well be unproductive and read articles.. and than-  see all I do is waste time reading articles .. back and forth and then if Im a waste than I might as well act out...
I would say This is my biggest obstacle to being completely free - any good tips n tricks you learned along the way?

Hey bro, slow down, I don't know why one needs such convoluted excuses to act out...

Now, who was your question actually addressed to? It sounded like a response to someone 
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Re: enough is enough! 25 Dec 2018 04:45 #338011

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Markz wrote on 25 Dec 2018 03:40:

i-man wrote on 25 Dec 2018 03:04:
Any suggestions ?

Correct me if im  wrong but it sounds like the classic trap - " I'm such a loser I might as well be unproductive and read articles.. and than-  see all I do is waste time reading articles .. back and forth and then if Im a waste than I might as well act out...
I would say This is my biggest obstacle to being completely free - any good tips n tricks you learned along the way?

Hey bro, slow down, I don't know why one needs such convoluted excuses to act out...

Now, who was your question actually addressed to? It sounded like a response to someone 

It was in fact addressed to someone on a different thread I wanted to post that 8dea on my thread and got lazy about putting it in the right context..

As for the first Q - I'm just saying that this seems to be the biggest trigger for me at this point and the main thing that's still holding me back

Re: enough is enough! 27 Dec 2018 00:50 #338051

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Nowadays B'H I usually  dont have any issues when my wife isnt around , However I recently fell along with other factors im feeling some urges (shes out now) so im   posting here now for some good ol accountabilty

Re: enough is enough! 28 Dec 2018 06:42 #338076

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Hashem help me - An urge is just an urge not a monster.

Re: enough is enough! 30 Dec 2018 07:00 #338097

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An urge is like a monster in the closet. It's scary, dangerous, and makes the child in us afraid and unable to move. However, if we just focus, wrap a sheet around like a cape, gird ourselves with a broom or toy sword, and swing open the closet door - we'll see that there was nothing there. 

Re: enough is enough! 11 Jan 2019 03:49 #338381

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Wow just thinking back to that evening in June when i dialed some guy i messaged on gye - after a 5-10 minute conversation I hung up and felt like a heavy weight  was lifted off my shoulders..what a difference

Re: enough is enough! 20 Jan 2019 05:01 #338544

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I dont know who to speak to about putting shiurim in that section but I thought that this shiur from Rabbi kalish of waterbury was an incredible perspective on the challenges we here face .

www.torahanytime.com/#/lectures?a=74199

or call 
718-298-2077  press 9 than 74199 than # 

Re: enough is enough! 21 Jan 2019 05:35 #338558

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stillgoing wrote on 07 Jul 2015 15:15:


I think you meant "avatar", but in this case "aviator" works


Reveled?


And where is your apology on the misquote of his name? It's almost as bad as the guy who wrote cordnot!


It stands for "Monstuh Trucking" not mega


Ok Ok Ok!!!! I'll get it! From now on i'll stick to my mama loshon, - Ebonix! an don't no brodder be tellin me how t' ax ah qweshtin in eeeeeebonix! Even "KALEED" wood agree!

Wow I was reading through my thread and finally understood this joke..
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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