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Yaakov's Ladder
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Yaakov's Ladder 131986 Views

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 22 Apr 2015 18:56 #252899

If only I would have installed my filter a month ago, i would not have been caught and I would have avoided much pain and suffering.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 22 Apr 2015 20:13 #252907

  • dd
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Great move Yankel, VCF is the filter you introduced me to.

And for the not needing a filter at all I once heard from a dear friend of mine called Yankel Bshem the big book, That a alcoholic first must get hospitalized and only after that can he really start getting sober (something to that affect). So if we need to start with a filter a filter it must be.

KOMT and KIT!!!!

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 24 Apr 2015 13:31 #253042

  • Pidaini
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Well, VCF got installed, but since it's a new account, some of the loopholes, which I had closed on the old account, were still open. I made sure to take advantage of those, but I have now closed them.

Filters may not be the solution, but they are certainly part of the equation.

I have BH reduced my new replies to..........0!!!!

Shabbos will be day 1.

One day at a time is one of the most important things that I need to knock back into my thought process. Just doing the right thing at the moment in front of me, the past is not in my hands (anymore), the future neither, the only thing that I have some power over is the present!

You'll all be seeing more of me!!

Have a great Shabbos
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 25 Apr 2015 20:55 #253070

  • dd
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Yankel how was day 1?

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Apr 2015 04:01 #253094

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Shabbos was nice, BH, thanks for asking!

Motzei Shabbos, different story. Couldn't fall asleep, and out of frustration I started a roundabout way of getting to porn. I didn't go through with it, but the lust was there, certainly there.

Anyway, fell asleep late, and you know what that means? getting up late.....I HATE WAKING UP LATE!!!!

One of my worst things is to wake up late. arrrrrrrGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!

What a good opportunity to grow closer to Hashem!! To surrender my expectations to His will, to accept His plan for my day today, or at least this part of His plan for me today!

It' is ok, I do not need to be miserable a whole day because Igot up a bit later that I wanted to!

Again, thanks for asking dd, I probably wouldn't have gone through that whole thought process had you not asked!

KOMT y'all!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Apr 2015 22:11 #253141

  • daybyday12345
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hi ive been struggling with this for many years now . in the past 2 yrs or so ive put up many fences,filters etc , yet i still manage to fall . saturday nights for me for some reason are the hardest . even with the filters some how my mind gets lost as do i . i really would love to get to 90 days to help belive that i could beat the addiction . ive managed to get to 50-60 days but never made it past that . plz everyone any chizuk or help would be extremely appreciated .

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Apr 2015 22:40 #253142

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daybyday, Welcome to GYE, so glad you're here! Have started a thread? If you did please let me know and I'll send you a welcome there as well! If you didn't, please start one so people can welcome you and follow your progress. Until then, you should know that you are not alone by any means. I could have written almost the exact same words as you, but about myself.

Many of us found that we had to stop fighting this addiction, that we are powerless over lust and that our lives were unmanageable. Take a deep breath and tell God you are done fighting and ask Him what His Will is for you today and for the strength to carry it out. Just worry about today, chaver. When you have a thought to look at something you shouldn't, ask Hashem to remove these unnecessary thoughts from your mind. See how it goes.

Hatzlacha
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 02:56 #253159

  • daybyday12345
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Hi thank you so much for the welcome . i didnt start a thread yet but would def like to if it will help me . can you please tell me in short detail where and how to start a thread and what the standard is ? what should i post about to get the thread running and to get chizuk . ? Thank you again for the timely response and for the chizuk.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 03:40 #253162

Hi
Opening your own thread is the best way to meet people here who you can work with to help you learn how to deal with this struggle.
Just click on "New Thread" above to get started.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 08:05 #253172

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Welcome daybyday!!

Do open your new thread, your posts will (hopefully) get lost in this one!

On a little sour note, yet it doesn't need to be so sour, I fell last night. I still found a loophole through the filter, and it wasn't so hard.

I'm very confused at this point. Looking back at my diary on the 90 day chart, trying to see what I tried and what didn't work and then look at what I am doing and asking myself why I think that it will work, and Dov's quote from signature is poking up it's painfully almost certainly true head "nothing changes as long as everything stays the same".

I will post more details soon.

See Y'all!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 13:57 #253197

  • cordnoy
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Sorry to hear that.
It's great to have you back though.

b'hatzlachah on figurin' it out.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 17:21 #253218

  • serenity
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I'm with you brother. I've been there and can't say I won't again. The line from Dov is very insightful.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 18:08 #253226

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Welcome back Yankel and thanks or getting me back here! its a great place to be hopefully this time we will find our final trip to sobriety and sanity!!
איזהו גיבור הכובש את יצרו

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 27 Apr 2015 18:48 #253230

  • shlomo613
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Pidaini wrote:


On a little sour note, yet it doesn't need to be so sour, I fell last night. I still found a loophole through the filter, and it wasn't so hard.

I'm very confused at this point. Looking back at my diary on the 90 day chart, trying to see what I tried and what didn't work and then look at what I am doing and asking myself why I think that it will work, and Dov's quote from signature is poking up it's painfully almost certainly true head "nothing changes as long as everything stays the same".

I will post more details soon.

See Y'all!!

Pdaini,
Do you have accountability software to someone you're embarrassed of? That is an iron fence that is unaffected by filter loopholes. And it works. In my experience, you want to limit all options for porn long before you're tempted. This is basic stuff.
Also, is there a TAG office near you? I don't know but maybe they're able to do hints over the phone/internet? I don't think there's reason to be embarrassed. Remember the story of nura b'bai Amram.
My life was a series of unremitting falls and sunk in the quagmire of porn till I set up filters an accountability on all devices.
All the best.
Shlomo

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 28 Apr 2015 01:41 #253277

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Thank you Shlomo!!

I have tried accountability software, found a way to get through it as well. Although it was a while back, maybe I should look into it again.

I've spoken to a TAG representative, he didn't have much more info than I did.

It's not the filters on the devices that are the problem, even when I didn't have any device, when I was in Yeshivah, I would still act out, at least weekly, and usually more often than that.

It's growing up, learning to live life that makes the difference.

I'm on a way, and I am listening to orders from a higher rank than I am.

Progress, not perfection.
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
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