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TOPIC: STORY TIME 26814 Views

Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:35 #311507

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bardichev wrote on 04 Nov 2009 22:32:
                                  PART 20

phone calls

phone calls

why is she bothering me

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!LET ME VENT!!!LET ME BE ALONE WITH MY COMPUTER I NEED TO EASE MY PAIN!!

another phone call

now she is calling the office


LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! I AM UPSET I NEED TO ESCAPE  IN MY COMPUTER WHEN I AM UNDER STRESS I NEED THIS OUTLET I JUST NEED IT NOW I NEED IT!! IT'S NOT GOOD IT'S NOT BAD
NOW I AM IN ACAPE MODE..I NEED HER TO STOP BOTHERING ME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH SHE IS GETTING SMART NOW SHE E-MAILING ME

HA HA HA SHE IS SSSSSSOOOOOOOOO DESPERATE I LOVE IT!!!GOOD CHANI SWEAT IT OUT A LITTLE



DEAR HESHY

ITS AN EMERGENCY PLEASE CALL ME!! HESHY I SWEAR IT'S AN EMERGENCY!! HESHY DO NOT IGNORE ME!!
HESHY COME HOME NOW!!




HA HA HA HA HA !!!

SHE IS SO SILLY GET ME HOME WITH 10TH GRADE TACTICS

HA HA HA !!!!

HEY ONE SECOND !! THE JOKE IS ON ME !! HEY SHE IS ON MY COMPUTER !!! HEY HOW DID SHE GET THE PASSWORD!!
HELP!!! I A DIEING!! HELP!! I WAS CAUGHT!!! SHE BUSTED ME!!!! HEYYYYY!!! HOW DID SHE GET THAT PASSWORD!!!
IT MUST OF BEEN THAT LITTLE SNEAK YANKI!! HE MUST OF OPENED MY COMPUTER!!! THEY ARE BOTH DEAD!DEAD! DEAD!!

OH MY GOSH!! THEY KNOW WHO I REALLY AM!!! I AM GONE!!!!  A CAN KILL MYSELF!!!!!   

    UCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

ring ring!! my cell phone again? no! hey it is some one elses ringer!  oh it's chanie's phone.I forgot I had stolen it from her Prada Pocket book...

HEY THE 'SICKO' IS CALLING HER AGAIN.. CHESKY WEINFELD .. OK I MAY BE ADDICTED TO COMPUTERS AND BIG DEAL I AM A REGULAR WORKING PERSON HE IS A "REBBI" AND HE IS CHASING MY WIFE!! AND LOOK HE WAS CAUGHT RED-HANDED AND..HE CAN'T CONTROL HIMSELF.. HEY THIS GUY MAKES ME LOOK GOOD

HE WILL GET IT NOW LET'S ROLL HARRY!!!HA HA HAA
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Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:38 #311508

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Efshar Letaken wrote on 05 Nov 2009 00:54:
It's unfortunately "based on a true story" just made a bit more extreme then most of us might go.

But this is what we look like one way or another when we get sucked up in this Smut.

The whole world can be falling apart around us, Business, Wife, Kids, Religion, or anything else we really value, yet we are glued to the screen.

But hopefully we make the right choice when we hit bottom and choose life.

Will Heshy choose Life or Death?

Will Chani choose Life or Death?

Will Yanky choose Life or Death?

Will the Rabbi choose Life or Death?

Well we can stop the story right here if Death is the way we choose, or we can choose Life and see what a Jew with a Holy Neshomo does when He/She just can't life this life anymore.

Life? Death?

Reb B. What do you choose? it's your call!
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Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:39 #311509

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bardichev wrote on 05 Nov 2009 03:55:
    PART 21

YOU SICKO!!YOU SICkO!!!
YOU THINK IM NUTS!!
OK I AM NUT!!!
DO YOU HEAR ME!!!!

YOU GOT ME..YOU..REBBI..YOU..I HATE YOU...I WISH ...I..COULD..KILL..YOU..

YOU ARE A HORRIBLE FAKER YOU LOOK INNOCENT YOU ARE A LOW LIFE...YOU RUINED MY LIFE..MY MARRIAGE ...MY KIDS..

I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN..I WILL DESTROY YOU...

UCCCCHHHHHHH!!!

*dead silence*

HELLOOOO SAY SOMETHING!!

T..Ta.Tatty

WHO IS THAT ON THE PHONE??

Yyy...anki ...where is Mommy?

WHY ARE YOU ON CHESKY WEIFELDS PHONE??

I am by his house

WHY????

I ran away from ...

FROM WHO??????

You Tatty.

WHY? WHY???

Cmon Ta! You know..

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR REBBI LIVES??

Ta I am a "ben bayis"by him.

WHAT??? ARE YOU CRAZY!!

TAAA!! Who do you think I learn with every night? Who helps me for my bar mitzvah? Who gives me supper some nights?or takes me bowling?who? You?? No..
Who let's me  use his phone to call Mommy to pick me up?and if she can't who drives me home??

WHAT??YOU USE YOUR REBBIS PHONE???? UCHHHHHH
I WILLLLLL KILLLLL.....
MYSELF!!!!

YANKI GOODBYE!!

Ta?
Ta?
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Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:41 #311510

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7yipol wrote on 06 Nov 2009 00:17:
Still trying to decide if Im too young for this thread,
or too old :-\

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Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:43 #311512

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bardichev wrote on 09 Nov 2009 19:41:
PART22

OK CHAN IT’S HESHY I REALIZE THERE IS AN EMERGENCY.

HESHY HESHY HESHY I AM DYING WE NEED TO FIND THE BOY!

CHANI.

HESHY IT’S SERIOUS I DIDN’T MAKE THIS UP!

CHANI.

HESHY HELP ME ..I MEAN US ..OUR YANKI!!

CHANI.. I KNOW WHERE HE IS.

YOU DO?? YOU DO??SO GET HIM!! FAST!! MY YANKI*SOBBING* I MEAN OUR  YANKI*SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY*

CHANI CHANI ..I AM AFRAID I CAN NOT GET HIM …

WHY WHY HESHY IT’S OUR SON *SOBBING UNCONTROLLABLY*

CHANI IT’S TOO LATE

LATE FOR WHAT?HESHY TO SAVE OUR BOY??

CHANI CHANI I AM NOT VERY COMFORTABLE SAYING THIS  BUT I THINK I WILL NEVER BE A FATHER TO YANKI ANY MORE

WHAT KIND OF SILLY STUFF ARE YOU SAYING HESHY??

CHANI I AM READY TO DIE!

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!! STOPPPPPPP NOW!!!!!!!!!!!

CHANI I AM READY TO DIE!

HELP HESHY WHERE ARE YOU,OH IN YOUR OFFICE OF COURSE I AM COMING RIGHT NOW TO SEE YOU STAY ON THE PHONE..UCCHH I DON’T HAVE A CELL PHONE.. HESHY I AM COMING TO YOU NOW!!

CHANIE IT’S TOO LATE I AM DONE

HESHY THERE IS A FUTURE

CHANI I KNOW YOU ARE BEING NICE TO NOW ‘CAUSE I WAS CAUGHT RED HANDED..I KNOW YOU WILL ONLY TRY AND FIND OUT FROM ME WHERE YANKI IS .. YOU WILL RUN AND SAVE HIM.. YOU WILL BRING HIM HOME..YOU WILL LET ME KILL MYSELF.. YOU WILL MARRY SOME MOVIE STAR..WITH ALL THE MONEY CLOTHES AND FAME I BOUGHT YOU..RIGHT CHANIE ?? RIGHT?? WHY WOULD YOU CARE ?

*CHANIE THINKING .. EITHER YOU HIT HIM HARD..OR PLAY HIS LITTLE GAME*

CHANIE  YOU’RE  STUMPED AHA ! YOU DON’T GIVE A HOOT ABOUT ME!!

*CHANIE BE A BIG GIRL AND HIT HIM HARD!!!!!*

HESHY OR SHOULD I CALL YOU SNOOKER11219?

WHAA?? HOW DO YOU KNOW??

YEAH MR SNOOKER11219,LISTEN UP WHY DO YOU CALL ME NOW ‘CAUSE YOUR IN TROUBLE??HUH?
LISTEN SNOOKERFACE, YOU CAN CALL A WHOLE LIST OF PEOPLE.. WHO SHOULD I START WITH.. I HAVE A WHOLE LIST HERE. SHOULD WE GO IN ALPHABETICAL ORDER ..OR BY MOST VISITED..
SNOOKERMAN I MAY BE BARBIE DOLL IN YOU EYES BUT IF YOU WANNA HAVE IT BOTH WAYS ..YOU CAN FUGGEDABOUTIT!!!!!!

CHANIE IF I KILL MYSELF ITS YOUR FAULT!!!NOT THAT YOU CARE!!!!

YEAH A BUNCH OF VIRTUAL GIRLFRIENDS CAN SIT SHIVA FOR YOU BIG SHVITTTZER!!
I AM WILLING TO LOOK AWAY BUT IF ARE STILL PLAYING GAMES I WILL FIND THE BOY ON MY OWN AND GOOOOOOOD RIDDANCE.!!!

BARBIE DOLL, YOU WANNA FIGHT? I KNOW WHERE THE BOY IS WE WILL BOTH BE OUT OF THE COUNTRY BY SUNRISE!! YOU HEAR BARBIE DOLL!!
YOU CAN GO CRY TO TATTY  TO ALL YOUR CHESKYS…                            YOU CAN WRITE ARTICLES ABOUT ME ..YOU CAN EVEN CALL A PARTY PLANNER TO HOST YOU A PARLOR MEETING  FOR THE PRETTY AGUNAH!! GET LOST!!

*CHANIE THINKING ..*

HESHY! THE BOY IS HOME WITH ME!

YOU FAT LIAR!!CHANIE

COME PROVE ME WRONG..SNOOKERFACE.. BARBIE DOLL IS NOT YOUR TOY ANY MORE!!

BIG SHOT!
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Re: STORY TIME 25 Apr 2017 20:56 #311513

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bardichev wrote on 11 Nov 2009 21:19:
                                  PART 23

REBBI REBBI WHATS GOING ON WHAT WAS HE SAYING??
REBBI DID HE GO MAD??
HE HAS A TEMPER ..BUT THIS TIME HE SOUNDED MORE  SERIOUS.
YES REBBI HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO KILL HIMSELF!!
REBBI WHAT DID I DO ?? WHY IS MY LIFE SUCH A MESS??
I AM A REGULAR 12 YEAR OLD KID!!WHY WAS HE SCREAMING THAT HE WANTS TO KILL ME?? REBBI WHATS GOING ON??
REBBI TATTY NEVER EVER EVER ANSWERS MY MOMMYS CELLPHONE.NEVERR
HE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH HER.
ALL HE CARES ABOUT IS HIS LITTLE ROOM WITH HIS COMPUTER AND THAT I CANT GO INTO THAT ROOM!
ALL HE DOES IS COME HOME LATE FROM WORK EAT A LITTLE AND SAYS “I HAVE WORK TO FINISH”
I SAY TA COULD WE LEARN? HE SAYS WHAT YOUR REBBI DIDN’T TEACH YOU ?
AND OFF TO HIS ROOM.SO REBBI TONIGHT I WENT INO HIS ROOM AND I FOUND OUT WHAT HIS UN-FINISHED BUSINESS IS..

YANKI IT’S ALL OK NO ONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOU

SO WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME LIVE IN YOUR HOUSE,REBBI?

YANKI LIFE IS TRICKY, PEOPLE ARE CRAZED, WICKED AND MEAN, I WISH I CAN HELP YOU…

REBBI? WHY ARE YOU CRYING?

YANKI BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ??

REBBI WHERE ARE MY PARENTS NOW??

YANKI I DON’T KNOW.

REBBI I THINK I WILL JUST STAY IN SHUL FOR THE NIGHT.

NO.YANKI  I WILL HAVE MY WIFE DRIVE YOU HOME.I CAN’T IT IS TOO DANGEROUS . I AM AFRAID TO MEET ANYONE NOW..

REBBI WHAT IF ?

YANKI REBBI LOVES YOU JUST GET IN THE CAR ,SHE WILL MAKE SURE YOU GET HOME. BYE. SEE YOU IN YESHIVAH .HOPEFULLY.

YANKI RIDES HOME WITH MRS WIENFELD, RABBI WIENFELD CLOSES HIS DOOR AND …

“POLICE OPEN THE DOOR!”

WHAAAAT??

ARE YOU YECH-CHE-KEZ-KEL WIENFELD??

Y-Y-Y-ESS OFFICER.

COME WITH US TO THE STATION HOUSE WE NEED YOU FOR QUESTIONING IN A KIDNAPPING INVESTIGATION.

W-WW-AAAAT??!! WHO WAS KIDNAPPED??

WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE YOU KNOW THE WHEREABOUTS OF A BOY YANKI FREIDSTIEN.

YES I DO OFFICER.

IS THAT AN ADMISSION RABBI?

WHAAAAT?? HE IS NOT KIDNAPPED HE IS RIDING HOME WITH MY WIFE TO HIS HOME WHERE HIS PARENTS ARE EAGERLY AWAITING HIM.

HOW DO YOU KNOW??

OFFICER THE KID CAME HERE AND I “TOLD” HIM IT IS NOT SAFE TO BE WANDERING THE STREETS AT THIS HOUR, I HAD MY WIFE DRIVE HIM HOME.


HOLD ON RABBI.

CHIEF?

COME IN OFFICER.

SUBJECT IS TO ARRIVE HOME  MOMENTARILY SHOULD WE CONTINUE WITH THE ARREST? OR HAVE SUBJECT FOLLOWED TO SEE IF THIS MAY BE A CASE OF FALSE KIDNAP?

OFFICER? WE HAVE A SQUAD CAR AT SUBJECTS HOME. BOY IS SAFE AND SOUND WITH HIS MOTHER.HE WAS DRIVEN HOME BY RABBIS WIFE..SEEMS LIKE SOMEONE REPORTED A FALSE KIDNAP. WE WILL CHECK THE PHONE RECORDS..HAVE A SQUAD CAR GUARD THE RABBIS HOME FOR THE NEXT 24 HOURS..

10-4
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Re: STORY TIME - Harry's Son 25 Apr 2017 21:09 #311515

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bardichev wrote on 12 Nov 2009 04:58:
PART 24

Heshy is awash in thought.  Ok Chani You wanna play games. No one starts with Snookerman!! HahAhaha!

I can already see Chesky Weinfelds rotten face.Sitting in central booking.HaHaHa

No one starts with me! One phone call that's all it takes.What a loser Chesky Weinfeld he set himself up like a duck in a pond.I know the kid is missing, I know he is there with him... Kidnapper Rabbi!! Ah I can see the cover of the Post already.. Oh I'm sure Chani will look good in the pictures too.
Great, I will put Chesky away.I will blame this whole addiction on him.I will tell Chani I really love her...it was this Chesky I was so jealous of..and its not even her fault..'Cause you see how "dangerous" he is. And I will be the hero,Yanki will adore me for the first time.. Ahh this is BRILLIANT!!! you can bet my new life is just beggining...
  Of course I will make Chani "BEYTT MECHILLA" Chesky Weinfeld is a loser he won't be able to count on Chani to put up a bail bond.loser oyy will he sit
HaHaHa.and I will be the Shayner Yeed,my wife will get everyones sympathy...Nebich she was chased by her sons Rebbe.Ahhh! Her Husband saved the day.HaHaHa!!!

*BOOM!KNOCK!BOOM!*
OPEN UP , POLICE!!!

Yes officers. Come in.

Are you Harry??No need to answer.Come with us!

Yes! I will pick him out in a line up.He kidnapped my son.

Shut up!Harry!You Have MIRANDA RIGHTS.
You have the right to a lawyer
.You have the right to remain silent,which we highly suggest!

Ok I will tell you everything about my sons kidnapper.

Shutup! Fool! What ever you say will be used against you!

Why are you hand cuffing me?
Why are you "stealing" my computer? My cellphone?

Shut up!

Harry do you know how to read or only understand pictures?
read this.
ARREST WARRANT!
Harry enjoy the ride.I'm sure you always wanted to ride in the Police car!

Can I make a phone call?

Yes after you are booked!
Now shut up and enjoy your tax dollars at work.

I am not the kidnapper

You will speak to the judge

Hey.don't hit me hey! This is brutality!ouch! I am gonna make A stink about this! Ouch you have no right to hit me! Oooh ouch! Hey I know the seargent you will lose your badge.ouch!!! Ouch!! I have a PBA card!! Stop hitting me!

Harry shut up!we have been looking for "snookerface" for a while.Thanks for making it easy.
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FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:11 #311516

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bardichev wrote on 15 Nov 2009 06:13:
      PART 25


Yanki,promIse you will never leave me again.

I Promise Ma

Good Boy!Listen Yanki we need each other for support.Tatty is obviously very very not well and he needs us to help him.

Count me out Ma.I don't care if he is my father he said to me he will kill me.I am done done done.Keep him far away from me.We can live under one roof,that's all.

Yanki, I know you are hurt.I know you are upset.But..But..
Yes, Yanki you are right. I cover up for him,a lot... Maybe too much... Yanki,there is no magic wand ... You are a smart boy...

But Maaa!! He.. Hates.. Me.. And..

I know you think he hates Me too. Yanki, I know how you feel.
Life is not a bed of roses.Yanki
Listen up let's just keep looking out for each other.OK??

Ma,I will do anything for you.

Yanki,you are the reason I wake up in the morning!

Ring!Ring!hello you have a call from the New York Police Department.we have a suspect in an investigation names Harry
Freidstien,we was granted one phone call..note this call is recorded..would you like to accept the collect charges?

Yes OK

Chanie *thinking* Jail jail Hesy in jail what did he do !!! He was just in his office!!what is going on in my life??!!why is he calling me??so he needs his barbie doll for a "get out of jail card"!!

Maam are you gonna take the call and accept the charges?

I guess.yes.

Chani chani chani *crying*
Chani uh I .. Am in jail

So I hear Heshy

Chani I did nothing

So I guessed Heshy

Chani get me out of here
I can't stay here the police beat me up*crying* and there is a goy here who said that if I am in jail for ....uchh ....uchhh...preying...on...minors uchhh he said he will kill me!he said I won't last one night in jail..chani chani help me uchhhh I am so gone..
I have nothing not even a Kappel..these goyim wAnna kill me.. Chani get me outta here!!

Heshy I will try

Chani please please bail me out!

Heshy I will try

When? Chani

Soon

Why not now

Heshy it takes a few minutes to bring barbie doll to life and make her human again

Chani chani please

Heshy I will not ask for an apology now..but if you come out of jail and you come home its on my terms

chani please

Yes Chani has a son at home that needs love and attention and ...

Chani on your terms

Heshy "Tnai koidem limaase" like "bnei gud and binei ruvain"

Chani?

Yes Harry I told you I teach him gemara

OK your terms,but get me outta here

OK here are my terms
#1 you will  go for "real" therapy
#2 you can't talk to Yanki
#3 if you are guilty in court I get a "get" no questions asked.

Chani I am not in the "matzav" to think so clear now

Heshy you called me ? Right?

But.. But..

*hello this is the operator this phone call is over its 5 minute limit.* goodbye

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Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:13 #311517

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the.guard wrote on 15 Nov 2009 14:33:
now I'm curious... Will he be found guilty for praying for minors or not??? The suspense is bearable.
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Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:18 #311519

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D
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
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Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:19 #311520

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7yipol wrote on 15 Nov 2009 18:55:

guardureyes wrote on 15 Nov 2009 18:43:



G - you mean "unbearable", no? - D



Actually, I meant bearable... I just admitted my fears and faced them. I said, "Hashem, I am afraid. I can't bear the suspense. Please bear with me". And He did. And now the suspense is bearable.



: : :
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Last Edit: 25 Apr 2017 21:20 by stillgoing.

Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:22 #311521

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bardichev wrote on 15 Nov 2009 21:05:
PART 26

SIR SHE DID NOT HANG UP ON YOU!!CALM DOWN!!

WHEN CAN I CALL HER AGAIN?

IN 24 HOURS OR WHEN YOU LAWYER COMES .

WHY DIDN’T I JUST TALK QUICK? AND ACCEPT WHATEVER SHE SAID?

I DON’T KNOW I’m NOT YOU .NOW YOU WILL GO BACK TO THE HOLDING PEN.

WHAT??AGAIN THE HOLDING PEN?? HEY I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!! LET ME GO!! I WANT TO SPEAK TO MY LAWYER THIS IS NOT FREEDOM .IT’S NOT FAIR!!

SIR THIS IS A FINAL WARNING ,BEHAVE CALM DOWN.OR YOU WILL END UP IN SOLITARY

HEY NO ONE TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! I AM NOT GOING TO SOLITARY I  AM SITTING IN THE LOBBY TILL MY LAWYER COMES. I KNOW THE SARGENT I USED TO BRING DONUTS HERE.

MOVE IT !GET INTO THE PEN .AND HERE IS A LITTLE REMINDER TO BEHAVE.

OUCH!! YOU CAN’T KICK ME THIS IS NOT RUSSIA! OUCH!! OOOH !! I WILL MAKE YOU GUYS PAY FOR THIS I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!! YOU ARE!!

IN THE SLAMMER! SEE YA IN 24 HOURS.ENJOY!


HEY YO! HARRY. YOZE GOTTA BE HAVIN’ YOZE CANT MESS WIFF DEEZ COPS HERE.
HI MA NAME IS "KALEED" IZE BEEN IN AN OUTTA HERE MO’ TIMES THAN YOUZE GOES TO THA BANK. HERE IN THE PEN YOU ACT LIKE A GOOD BOY.WHEN YO LAWYER SHOW UP YOZE TELL EM WHO HIT .YOZE OK? NOW BE HAVIN!

IM NOT A CRIMINAL

CMON HARRY YOZE DONE SUMFIN’ YOZE POBABALY RIPPED OFF DA BANK. HE HE. OR WASHED SOME BEN FRANKLINS FO’ GUYS LIKE ME .HEH HEH!

IM NOT A CRIMINAL

YOZE GOTTA FAMILY??

NO. YES. UHHH I’M NOT SURE. UHH YESS I DO.

GOOD MAN GOOD YOZE BROTHAS WILL BAIL YOU OUT.MEEZ GOTTA JIST WORK DA SYSTEM.YOZE BROTHAS GOTTA LOTTA MONIES.HEH HEH

UM YES. NO.. I’m IN TROUBLE

OHHH I SEEZ YO’ MESSED WIFF DA WIFE SHEEZ MAD .SHEEZ WANTS YOZE TO ROT IN DA PEN FO A COUPLA DAYZ.HEH HEH

SOMETHING LIKE THAT

YOUZE BETTA BEHAVE IN DA PEN HERE,CUZ BIG BOOGE MANS COPS COME HERE ALL DA TIME.
NO ONE LIKES GUYS WHO DON’T RESPECT WOMEN
MAN.GUESS WHAT?YOUZE GONNA GET BEAT UP UP ONCE YOUZE GET TO DA ‘SIXTH BORO OF NEW YORK’

WHATS THAT?

CMON HARRY DON’T PLAY STOOPID .RIKERS ISLAND! YOUZE GONNA BE IN DA DEVILS PLAYGROUND.MAN YOU GONNA GET WHIPPED!!HEH HEH

HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE??

'STOO LATE HARRY?YOUZE NEEDA LAWYAH AND THE WIFE BEIN' MAD AT YA ..SHEESH YOUZE GOTTA REAAL DOOZEER.

I’M NOT A CRIMINAL,KALEED

HEH HEH,HARRY AND  I’M NOT A PUSHAH!

IM NOT A BAD GUY ..JUST GOT CARRIED AWAY IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD.
KALEED DID YOU EVER HEAR OF THE BIBLE?

YOZE GOTTA BE KIDDIN ME IZE LOVE THAT STUFF THE SINGIN AND THE CHANTIN OHH BABY!

I DIDN’T FOLLOW THE BIBLE. NOW I’m STUCK LIKE A LOSER SHEH-BILOSER  IM "OIF GEHAKKTEH TZOORIS"
I REALLY DIDN’T HURT ANYONE .ONLY MYSELF.I DID MY LITTLE THING.

HEH HEH! MAN YOUZE DONE SOME BAD STUFF IZE SEE IT IN YOUZE EYES!

YOUZE MESSIN AROUND YOUZE LOOK LIKE A RABBI BUT YOUZE A BIG BAD GUY IN A LOTTA TROUBLES.
YOUZE GONNA GET YOUZE HEAD KICKED IN IN RIKERS.HEH HEH.
YOUZE GOTTA GET BAILED OUT BEFORE YOUZE GET TO RIKERS MAN.
YOUZE BAD!!I SEE IT YOUZE DA WORST YOUZE LOOK GOOD BUT YOUZE REAL BAD.

KALEED YOU ARE RIGHT.I NEGLECTED MY WIFE AND KIDS.I REALLY WAS VERY VERY SELFISH, I REALLY MADE BAD CHOICES.KALEED YOU ARE RIGHT.
I AM IN A LOT OF TROUBLE.I CANT EVEN COUNT ON THE PEOPLE THAT LOVE ME.

YOUZE GOTTA BEHAVE FOR ONE MO DAY.CALL THE WIFE SAY SORRY
LET HER BRING THE BIG BILLS AND YOUZE GOIN HOME

I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SAY SORRY*OUCH!* KALEED DON’T HIT ME!

HEY ONE SMACK ON THE FACE WOULDA SET YOUZE STRAIGHT A WHILE BACK.
YOUZE BEG HER FO FO-GIVENESS. HEH HEH.YOUZE GOTTA FESS UP.

I KNOW.BUT IM TOO PROUD*OUCH OUCH* POLICE!!

HARRY SHUT UP! IZE GONNA GET YOUZE OUTTA HERE BUT YOUZE GOTTA BE-HAVE.

*OUCHHHH*

HARRY ISS TOOLATE THE BOOGIE MANS ARE HERE.STOOPID. WHY YOUZE CALLED DA COPS .
HEY THEY WILL LOCK YOU UP .ME NO ONE TOUCHES.THEY KNOW ME AROUND HERE.
GOOD LUCK YOUZE GONNA NEED IT!
LAST SHOT HARRY, SAY SORRY TO DA MISSUS.


FREIDSTIEN:YOU ARE OFF TO SOLITARY!

WHAT?WHY?

YOU WERE FIGHTING IN THE PEN.AND YOU NEED SOLITARY.

LAST CHANCE.PLEASE

SOLITARY! IT IS!

- - - -
HI MADAM.HOW CAN WE HELP YOU?



I AM LOOKING FOR MY HUSBAND..I CHECKED EVERY PRECINCT..



NAME?



HARRY FREIDSTIEN.



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOOOOOOO!!HAHAHAHAAH!!!!



IS HE HERE?



HAHAH YES. HE IS IN SOLITARY.
BUT NOW THAT WE MET YOU WE WILL TEACH HIM A LESSON OR TWO.HAHAHAHAH

NO NO DON’T HURT HIM.



WHY NOT LADY? HAVE NO MERCY ON THE MERCILESS!!HAHAH .LADY TAKE MY ADVICE .LET HIM ROT!!



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Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:27 #311522

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bardichev wrote on 16 Nov 2009 06:25:
    PART 27


Maam your husband was involved in illegal internet activity

Is he guilty?

No.No. allegedly of course

He also has a count of false reporting of kidnap

Allegedly?

Yes. Of course yes. allegedly.

Can I visit him?

Maam noway! .now he is in lockdown.

What's that?

Solitary confinement.lockdown.
Maam why do you want him? I guess he is worth a few bucks.

*Chani thinking,I know they think he is a bum.but..he is a person who needs one chance to be helped..maybe..let me try

Yes officer he is quite wealthy.

Hahahah pretty wife loads of money!what's his damage?

Officer,I will sit here all day.I need to speak with him.I will not leave until I speak to him.

Ok ok you can sit here.

Officer you won't regret it. I will help you with any fund raiser or the  PAL you can count on me.

Let's see if we can "arrange" him to go to the hospital.Then you can speak to him.

Thanks.

Harry Friedstien!

Whaa who??

Harry are you enjoying our Special Housing Unit?

Uhh whaa! Bollwtyyugg.mmm uhh

Good Harry good

Oooh uhhh!taKkk Mmme home

Soon Harry soon

Harry you have such a pretty wife.nice Harry nice.you probably have gorgeous kids too.

Y-y-yes

HArry ,you ever wanna see them again

Y-y--y-e-s

Good Harry good

Listen Harry you are supposed to be here for 36 hours in lockdown before you see a lawyer. You wife is too nice we arranged  to have you sent to the hospital.and get you outta here

Good.Thank you Chanie

Harry one thing we need a reason to ship you off to the hospital ok?

Ok

Great Harry you are soo cooperative.coupla hours down here taught you who is boss

Y-y-e-s

Ok good Harry good

Ok

Now help us out.We need you to give yourself some self inflicted wounds.ok?

Ok

Hahahahahaha

*ouchh *oooohhh !!! Owwww!!

*aahhhhhaaaA yoOoooOwww!!
Bleeding oooh my mouf if fudd ob blood!ooooh ahhhwoooowww



Yes Sarge  he tried suicide we need a bus to take him to Bellvue.yes we will ride along.no one except his wife.she's coming for the ride.Yup it will be funniest. Sarge all in a days work.
BIG SHOT!
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Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:56 #311525

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bardichev wrote on 17 Nov 2009 03:36:
                                PART 28

LISTEN MAAM.WE DID WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE TO GET HIM OUT.
HE IS IN BAD SHAPE.BUT HEY MAYBE LESS DANGEROUS NOW. MAAM AS SOON AS WE LEAVE,
THE DOCTORS TAKE OVER . WE WATCH THIS ROOM AS IF IT IS A JAIL CELL.WE CHECK THE
VISITORS ETC. HEY THIS BUM IS GOING NO WHERE QUICK.HA HA

MRS. FREIDSTIEN.I AM PLEASED TO MEET YOU I AM DR.PATEL, YOUR HUSBAND HE SUSTAINED SEVERE HEAD BLOWS ,LOOKS LIKE SELF INFLICTED.HE IS IN A COMATOSE STATE.HE TOOK BEATINGS TO OTHER PARTS OF HIS BODY,PROBABLY FROM THE JAIL.WE WILL MONITER HIM.
PLEASE NOTE THAT IT HELPS FOR THE RECOVERY IF YOU OR YOUR CHILDREN SPEAK TO
HIM EVEN IF HE SHOWS NO RESPONE.

THANK YOU DOCTOR.I WILL STAY HERE .FOR.. AWHILE..


MRS FRIEDSTIEN..TALK TO HIM..

ILL TRY


HESHY.HESHY. DO YOU HEAR ME? I KNOW YOU DO?
TATALEH IT’S ME CHANIE.
DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
I AM YOUR WIFE. REMEBER WE HAVE TWO BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN? YANKI AND ESTI?
HESHY YOU REMEMBER THEM TOO?
HESHY I REMEMBER YOU TOO. YES I DO
.AHH YOU WERE  SO TALL AND HANDSOME, YES REALLY SKINNY. HA TOO SKINNY.
YOU ALWAYS HAD SUCH NICE THINGS TO SAY TO EVERYONE. AHH HOW MY FATHER ALAV HASHALOM LOVED YOU.
OY HESHY! HE WOULD SAY.”THIS IS A PERSON” A  MENTCH.
OY HESHY REMEMBER OUR
CHASUNAH HA! REMEMBER WE HOW WE GOT LOCKED OUT OF THE HOTEL DURING SHEVA BRACHOS AND WE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT SHMOOZING IN CENTRAL PARK…HESHY WE HAD SUCH A GOOD LIFE.
NO MONEY NO STRESS.. REMEBER WHEN YANKI WAS BORN ..HOW YOU HELD HIM..
HESHY REMEMEBR HOW YOU WALKED HIM TO SHUL THE FIRST TIME ..HIS.UPSHERIN
..HOW YOU CRIED FROM SIMCHA..HESHY DO YOU REMBER THE FISRT TIME YANKI SAID “MAH NISHTANAH”?  HESHY THERE WAS NO HAPPIER PERSON IN THE WORLD..       

YES THERE WAS ONE
HAPPIER PERSON? YOU KNOW WHO?? ME!!

YES ME CHANIE FRIEDSTIEN WAS ONCE HAPPY!HA HA WHAT JOKE!

HESHY THIS IS A JOKE THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN SEVEN YEARS I AM SPEAKING  TO YOU
WITHOUT YOU RETORTING IN A NASTY WAY!!
HESHY I KNOW YOU HEAR,SORRY TO BREAK
YOUR HEART. IF  YOU HAVE ONE..I AM BEGINNING TO ENJOY THIS COMA OF
YOURS.*CHANIE CRYING*

AM I SOOO HORRIBLE?? TO ENJOY A HUSBAND IN A COMA?? I AM HESHY? RIGHT?? HESHY
I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GUILTY OF.
IF YOU WILL GET OUT OF JAIL I WILL HELP YOU GET BACK ON YOUR FEET.

BUT BUT  YOU ARE GUILTY OF MURDER!! YOU KILLED ME! DOUBLE MURDER YOU ARE
TRYING TO KILL YANKI TOO.. I AM SAYING THINGS I NEVER TOLD YOU ..BUT NOW YOU
CAN’T FIGHT BACK…TOO BAD YOU WERE SO BOLD..YOU HAVE A DEAD WIFE WHO TALKS TO
A COMATOSE HUSBAND.. HESHY YOU ARE NOTHING NOW.
NO MONEY WILL HELP YOU. YOUR KIDS AND WIFE HATE YOU.. YOU LIVED A SILLY LIFE..YOU KEPT YOURSELF BUSY WITH…WHAT?? WHAT DID YOU GAIN?? A FEW MOMENTS OF SELF INDULGENT PLEASURE..I TOTALY FOLLOWED YOU LIKE A FOOL..
”MITT GETANTZED” WITH EVERY WHIM…
LONG SHAITEL SHORT ONE
..LONG SKIRT SMALL SKIRT TIGHT FLUFFY WAVY …ALL FOR WHAT??
TO GET WHAT IN RETURN??
DID WE HAVE SHABBOS IN OUR HOUSE?YOMTOV??
AND IF WE WENT THROUGH THE MOTIONS…WHERE WAS YOUR HEART..AND HESHY LOOK WHERE IT GOT
YOU..YOU STOOPED SO LOW.. YOU TURNED EVERYONE AROUND YOU, INTO THE IMAGE OF THE MONSTER YOU WERE…YANKI HAS A GIRL FRIEND ..
I'M IN LOVE WITH RABBI
WEINFELD .. THE KID RUNS AWAY FROM YOU CALL THE COPS ON HIS REBBE…WHERE
DID IT GET YOU ?? NO WHERE??

YOU KNOW WHO ELSE YOU KILLED ?? YOUR SELF!!!
YOUR TALENT!YOUR POTENTIAL!

NOW WE ARE AT THE END OF THE ROAD!! A VEGETABLE IN THE “MISHIGOOYIM HOYZ”
BELLVUE..WHERE ARE YOU ?WHAT ARE YOU?


HESHY I NEED TO TELL YOU THIS SORRY IF IT HURTS.
TOO BAD!!

HESHY I WISH YOU …*CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY*



HEY MAAM YOUZE  NEED TA KEEP ON TALKIN’

I .. CAN’T… I AM DRAINED..WHO ARE YOU??

HEY MAAM IM DA NURSE HERE. MA NAME IS KALEED
BIG SHOT!
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Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: STORY TIME - Harrys Son 25 Apr 2017 21:58 #311526

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bardichev wrote on 17 Nov 2009 20:18:
                        PART 29

CHANI CHANI CHANI I WISH I CAN TALK TO YOU.
I REALLY WISH I CAN OPEN MY MOUTH AND SAY  SOMETHING EVERYTHING ANYTHING..
I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WILL MAKE UP WITH YOU.
I ALWAYS CONVINCED MYSELF THAT ALTHOUGH I AM PUSHING THE ENVELOPE... I WILL ONE DAY MAKE IT UP..
UCHH I CANT TALK..
ALL I CAN DO IS LISTEN AND THINK
LISTEN AND THINK TWO THINGS I NEVER EVER DID
LISTEN LISTEN TOCHANI LISTEN TO HER
OUCH SHE IS MAKING ME SOOO NERVOUS SHE IS SO RIGHT
WHY DID I DO ALL THOS STUPID THINGS...

...NOW I AM HERE IT’S THE END OF THE ROAD ..ALL MY LAME EXCUSES WONT HELP ME!!! GEVALLLLD!!

...I RUINED MY LIFE. I HURT MY WIFE. I CAN NEVER APOLOGIZE TO HER.
I MISSED SEVEN ANNIVERSARIES SEVEN BIRTHDAYS. WHO KNOWS HOW MANY HUNDREDS OF NIGHTS SHE STAYED UP FOR ME...

...UCHHHH HOW MANY TIMES I LIED ,I EVADED THE TRUTH ,FABRICATED APPOINTMENTS, MEETINGS, PROJECTS, FOR WHAT??

...I HAVE A SON, WHO I SO WANT HIM TO LOVE ME.
HOW CAN HE LOVE A BUM WHO COMES HOME TO SHOWER AND GET CLEAN CLOTHES.
ALL I EVER DID WAS INSULT HIM, MAKE FUN OF HIS RABBEIM ,HIS TEACHERS, HIS QUESTIONS,HIS ASPIRATIONS.

NOW I AM A VEGGIE.GOOD HARRY GOOD.HOW MANY TIMES YOU TRIED TO BREAK FREE??
HOW MANY TIMES YOU WERE THIS CLOSE TO SPEAKING TO A RABBI?
BUT THE STINKING HARRY PRIDE!! ALOT TO BE PROUD OF .
WIFE IS CRUSHED ALL HER GOODNESS AND KINDNESS ,HER CHARM WAS BEATEN OUT OF HER ,
YANKI PROBABLY WON’T SAY KADDISH FOR ME.
I AM STUCK IN A BED WITH TUBES COMING IN AND OUT OF PLACES I DIDN’T KNOW EXSISTED .

..UCHHHH. THE END OF THE ROAD IS VERY LONELY. VERY DARK.
VERY SCARY .THERE IS NO ONE WAITING FOR ME AT THE LAST TRAIN STOP.
HERE IT IS GAMES OVER ,THE MONKEY IS DEAD. WHAT A WASTE OF A LIFE.
IF I MEET MY MAKER I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MYSELF. ACCOMPLISHMENTS, ZERO.NADDA .
WHO WILL SHOW UP AT MY LEVAYA??CHANI AND MAYBE A FEW NEIGHBORS.
END OF THE ROAD.LAST STOP.

...I DON’T EVEN HAVE A CHANCE??A FEW MINUTES ??
WHAT WILL I DO IF I HAD A CHANCE?? IS THERE NO LAST CHANCE??REALLY??IF I CAN CHANGE??
I NEED ONE LAST CHANCE?? I FEEL SOO GUILTY HANGING ON TO MY LAST FEW MINUTES ON EARTH… CLINGING TO THE HOPE OF A LAST CHANCE…I NEED ONE MINUTE..I CAN’T DIE YET..PLEASE..PLEASE..

..UCHHH  SHE STOPPED TALKING! GREAT. I AM DEAD NOW .DEAD. SILENCE.SO THAT'S IT.NO CHANCE TO SAY GOOD BYE.DEAD.
NO I HEAR THE MACHINES..WHOOSHH WHOOSH BEEP BEEP.WOOSH WOOSH.BEEP BEEP.

OK I WILL ATTEMPT TO TALK..THIS IS HARD..TALKING.. I CANT…OK LET ME TRY..WHAT WILL I SAY??
OK I WILL SAY CHANI I AM SO SORRY.FORGIVE ME.I LOVE YOU…..


LADY IZE GONNA AKS YOUZE TO KEEP ON TALKIN UP A STORM TO DA MAN .
ISS GOOD FOR HIS BRAINZ.
SHEEZ YOUZE DA WIFE. MAAN HEEES MESSED UP. WOW.HEH HEH


NURSE.UM KHALID DID YOU HEAR ALL THAT I SAID??

LADY EVERY LAST WORD. ‘SWAS LIKE SILVA BULLTES IN DA HEART.GO GIRL YOUZE GOTTA TELL HIM SUMPFIN. I WAS LISTENIN.YOUZE GOTTA TELL DA MAN DA TROOF IN YOUZE HEART.

OH! SHUCKS!

WHYZ DAT LADY ?HEEZ A GOOD BAD GUY IZE CAN SEE IT YEAH IZE CAN SEE IT.HEH HEH.

YOU KNOW HIM?

NAAAH! WHERE CAN A NURSE IN BELL-VOO NOW AEVRYONE.
BUT IZE SEEN A THANG OR TWO IN MA LIFE.HEH HEH..


KHALLED OR IS IT KHALEED

ISS GOOD WHATEVEAH.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?WHAT DO I DO? I HAVE A THREE QUARTER DEAD HUSBAND WHO IS “ALLEGEDLY”GUILTY OF SOME REAL BAD CRIMES


HEY LADY LISSUN,YOUZE JEWISH PEOPLES DON’T KNOW DA SYSTEM.
HEEES NOT BEEN CHARGED WIFF NUFFIN YET.
HE WAS IN DA PEN. DA COPS WHIPPED HIM. I ALSO SMACKED HIM FO’ BEEIN DISSEN YA’ ALL DEEZ TIMES.BUT DA COPS REELLY HIT HIM.YUP.DEY DID. IZE SEEN IT.


SO YOU KNOW HIM?

YOUZE GETTING OFF TOPIC LADY.
LEMME SPLAIN IT TO YOUZE.DIS GUY DID SUMPFIN WRONG OK.NOW HEEZ A LITTLE GINNY PIG FO DA COPS.SEE EVERY TIME THEY GET SOMEONE REAL WEAK LIKE YO HARRY DEY PIN ON HIM ALL KINDSA CRIMES .WHETHA HEEZ DONE IT OR NOT.ISS THE WAY DAYZ CLEAN UP THEIR FILES
LADY ISS DA “SYSTEM”.HE IS STUCK IN DA SYSTEM. KHALEED KNOW DA SYSTEM YOUZE GOT NO IDEAS HOW DA SYSTEM OPERATES.


SO YOU WERE IN JAIL?

LADY YOUZE OFF DA TOPIC AGAIN.
LISSUN LADY YOUZE GOT NO IDEAS HOW LUCKY DIS HALF DEAD HARRY IS.HE WAS CHARGED WIFF NUFFIN, YET.
HE WAS BEATEN UP IN DA HOLDING PEN.DEYZ EVEN NEVER GOT HIS FINGO PRINTS AN HIS MUG SHOT.FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES HE WAS NEVER IN JAIL.


BUT.. BUT.. HE’S HERE

FO NOW LADY. FO NOW..KHALEED GOT SOME MO TRIX IN HIS BAG.HEH HEH

KHALLEED CAN YOU GET HIM HOME?

HEH HEH FO A COUPLA GREEN BIG GREEN ONES I CAN DO ANYTHING HEH HEH.LOOKS TO ME YOU GOT A COUPLA FRANKLINS IN THE PRADA BAG HEH HEH

BUT HE IS HALF DEAD

NOT FO LONG LADY NOT FO LONG.HEH HEH.KHALEED KNOWS A COUPLA TRIX.HEH HEH.

LADY IZE GONNA AKS YOUZE SUMPFIN

GO AHAED “MR KNOWS THE SYSTEM” KHALEED

HEH HEH YOUZE MAKE ME LAFF
IZE GOTTA KNOW ONE THANG.


IF HE CHANGES HIS LIFE AROUND.LIKE ONE EIGHTY.BRAND NEW SPANKIN CLEAN OUTTA DE SHOWROOM SHINE.YOUZE GET DA PIKTCHA?

YES,KHALLEED.

WILL YOUZE BE ABLE TO LOVE HIM ,AGAIN? THINK LADY THINK.

WHY?

LADY.THINK IT OVER.I WILL STAY HERE FO A BIT…



BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
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