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Stuff they have or do in England
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Getting out of Isolation and connecting with others is an important part of recovery. This board is for non-addiction related threads, where members exchange jokes, have fun - and drink Lechayim Together!

TOPIC: Stuff they have or do in England 51152 Views

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 19 Nov 2015 05:43 #269043

  • Markz
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cordnoy wrote:
markz wrote:
I heard people use trains a lot in England. Here's a free tip

In a Madrid train station, there were two Jews in the line to buy tickets to Paris. A few people
behind were two Turkish guys quietly watching the Jews, always wanting to play tricks on
them. When the moment came, the Jews bought only one ticket but, to the astonishment of the
Turks, the two of them got on the train.
As it was a non-stop trip, at a certain moment a conductor came into the car and started clipping
the passengers' tickets. The Turks, watching the Jews, started to giggle, certain that the Jews
would be caught. But, to the Turks' amazement, before the conductor could see, the Jews ran
and both went into a single lavatory.
Used to having people in the toilets, the conductor knocked on the door: "Paris, Paris, ticket,
please!" Immediately, the Jews slipped the only ticket they had under the door for the man to
clip it. The Turks were astounded by the trick (and mad, because they had spent money
unnecessarily).
After a few days, Turks could be seen in the line to purchase tickets back to Madrid. The Jews
came a bit later. Of course, the Turks bought only one ticket. What surprised them was that
when the Jews saw it, they left the line without tickets.
Again came the moment when the conductor stepped into the car. The two Turks went for the
toilet right away, the same way the Jews had done before. The Jews sat patiently until the
Turks were in the lavatory. Then, in a flash, they went to the toilet and knocked on the Turks'
door. The Turks immediately slipped the ticket underneath the door. The Jews grabbed it and
dashed into the next lavatory.... .


If it ain't a toilet, it's a loo.





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Last Edit: 19 Nov 2015 05:45 by Markz.

Re: Stuff they have or do in ENGLAND 29 May 2017 15:46 #314395

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Gevura Shebyesod wrote on 19 Jun 2013 23:56:
Their cars have a bonnet in the front and a boot in the back. And they drive on the wrong side of the road.

And learn 2 hours on Shevuous night
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Re: Stuff they have or do in England 21 Jun 2017 16:38 #315817

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"The sun never sets on the british empire"
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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Re: Stuff they have or do in England 21 Jun 2017 17:02 #315824

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I heard from my friends that
"The sun never shines in the british empire"
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Last Edit: 21 Jun 2017 17:04 by Markz.

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 21 Jun 2017 17:13 #315829

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Markz wrote on 21 Jun 2017 17:02:
I heard from my friends that
"The sun never shines in the british empire"

Well I googled it.
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Re: Stuff they have or do in England 30 Aug 2017 14:29 #319524

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an Englishman an american are standing in front of a lift/elevator.

They are arguing over whats the correct way to call it.

Englishman says "its called a lift!"

American says "its called an elevator!"

"well we invented the English language" says the Englishman "and so the correct word its called a lift!"

"well" says the american "we invented the elevator and so its called an elevator!"

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 15 Jan 2018 15:23 #325526

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The in-laws of a young couple traveled to the U.K. to meet their new daugther in-law after a 9 hour flight they met in the airport the daugther in-law greets her mother in-law "Oh mommy you look so wacked"
(you can only wonder how it went after that) 

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 09 Feb 2018 09:32 #326728

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can anyone explain why the english don't smile after saying a joke

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 15 Feb 2018 22:58 #327008

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maybe they dont get it?

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                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 14 Jan 2020 06:57 #346693

this thread is gold.
i would have to quote far to many of the posts in here to be fair. so ill just have to suffice with an inadequate very generalized "this thread is gold".

who knew cordnoy could get me to laugh out loud:)

Re: Stuff they have or do in England 14 Jan 2020 14:46 #346697

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qwerty123456 wrote on 14 Jan 2020 06:57:
this thread is gold.
i would have to quote far to many of the posts in here to be fair. so ill just have to suffice with an inadequate very generalized "this thread is gold".

who knew cordnoy could get me to laugh out loud:)

Why? Does he come off as a serious fellow?
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Re: Stuff they have or do in England 14 Jan 2020 20:48 #346704

never really thought about it, but i had thought he was kind of tired of it all already
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