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TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful)
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This is a board for all the important threads that we don't want to get lost among the others :-)
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TOPIC: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 418 Views

TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 25 Nov 2019 22:59 #345393

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Hello. since the thank or not thank discussion was overcrowding the big o dilemma,a suggestion was given to me by one of the level headed posters to start a new thread on the issue .
The real name to the thread was supposed to be 
"TO BE (grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) ,
THAT IS THE QUESTION I ASK OF THEE"
but it was too many words.So Hatzlacha!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 26 Nov 2019 07:05 #345410

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could it be that people are afraid to thank, they will  be oustrisized(wheres google spell check when you need him/her /it?)WHAT?! you thanked that fanatic?!ok .um im working on not chatting with so many people , please dont be insulted if you are removed from  the gye  elitist group chat...no nothing personal :tsk tsk:
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 28 Nov 2019 14:26 #345555

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I think we have different ideas what the purpose of the thank you button is for.

When I talk to people, I can understand if they appreciate what I am saying by looking at their facial features. Are they nodding off, spacing out or getting angry.

In a virtual forum you don't have that, the best you have is the thank you button. 

I write in the forum sometimes just for myself, but other times it's too facilitate conservation, it to share with others something I think I think is valuable.

The thank you's let me know how people are taking what im saying. And consequenly allows me to think, why don't people like this? Am i posting to often? Am i coming across to sharp? Do I sound like a know it all?

I don't agree with every post, it may just be a good counter argument or opinion to what I said, but it was valuable nonetheless.

People here do thank posts they disagree with, but there are many factors that will cause a post to be or not to be thanked as I explained above.

When someone writes something amazing/special then I up their karma (and Visa versa)

To me too put thank you on every post is a waste of everyone's time. They might as well make it that when you read something it automatically gives them a thank you.

Regarding newcomers to the sight I think it's a little different. When they first come on we need to give them alot of attention so they know we are listening and we are there for them. 

This is just my understanding. If you look at it differently, please share your general approach.

P.s one thing I dont like, is when people use the forum as a chatroom with multiple posts one after the other, that's just my preference, so I don't give those a thank you either

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 28 Nov 2019 15:28 #345561

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Hakolhevel wrote on 28 Nov 2019 14:26:
I think we have different ideas what the purpose of the thank you button is for.

When I talk to people, I can understand if they appreciate what I am saying by looking at their facial features. Are they nodding off, spacing out or getting angry.

In a virtual forum you don't have that, the best you have is the thank you button. 

I write in the forum sometimes just for myself, but other times it's too facilitate conservation, it to share with others something I think I think is valuable.

The thank you's let me know how people are taking what im saying. And consequenly allows me to think, why don't people like this? Am i posting to often? Am i coming across to sharp? Do I sound like a know it all?

I don't agree with every post, it may just be a good counter argument or opinion to what I said, but it was valuable nonetheless.

People here do thank posts they disagree with, but there are many factors that will cause a post to be or not to be thanked as I explained above.

When someone writes something amazing/special then I up their karma (and Visa versa)

To me too put thank you on every post is a waste of everyone's time. They might as well make it that when you read something it automatically gives them a thank you.

Regarding newcomers to the sight I think it's a little different. When they first come on we need to give them alot of attention so they know we are listening and we are there for them. 

This is just my understanding. If you look at it differently, please share your general approach.

P.s one thing I dont like, is when people use the forum as a chatroom with multiple posts one after the other, that's just my preference, so I don't give those a thank you either

alot of good points ,id like to respond later on some of them , dont know if itll be before or after Shabbos , but thanks for your feedback
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 28 Nov 2019 23:36 #345603

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Hakolhevel wrote on 28 Nov 2019 14:26:
I think we have different ideas what the purpose of the thank you button is for.

When I talk to people, I can understand if they appreciate what I am saying by looking at their facial features. Are they nodding off, spacing out or getting angry.

In a virtual forum you don't have that, the best you have is the thank you button. 

I write in the forum sometimes just for myself, but other times it's too facilitate conservation, it to share with others something I think I think is valuable.

The thank you's let me know how people are taking what im saying. And consequenly allows me to think, why don't people like this? Am i posting to often? Am i coming across to sharp? Do I sound like a know it all?

I don't agree with every post, it may just be a good counter argument or opinion to what I said, but it was valuable nonetheless.

People here do thank posts they disagree with, but there are many factors that will cause a post to be or not to be thanked as I explained above.

When someone writes something amazing/special then I up their karma (and Visa versa)

To me too put thank you on every post is a waste of everyone's time. They might as well make it that when you read something it automatically gives them a thank you.

Regarding newcomers to the sight I think it's a little different. When they first come on we need to give them alot of attention so they know we are listening and we are there for them. 

This is just my understanding. If you look at it differently, please share your general approach.

P.s one thing I dont like, is when people use the forum as a chatroom with multiple posts one after the other, that's just my preference, so I don't give those a thank you either

just want to say one point for now on the topic of thanking guys, ive just been going through a members thread which i wish i wouldve seen before.he was  a big poster here ,and hes been gone.he mentioned a couple of times in his posts about he would appreciate a thank you, and like i said hes gone now.maybe its important to not be so principled in giving a thank you,people say that it becomes cheap if you thank too much, trust me nobody shot anybody for getting a thank you .
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 28 Nov 2019 23:52 #345604

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i dont know ehre you live , but where i live , its hard to get a good morning out of someone not only at night, even in the morning .could be the reluctance in thanking has the same source (maybe it doesnt)
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 03 Dec 2019 17:58 #345695

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Hakolhevel wrote on 28 Nov 2019 14:26:
I think we have different ideas what the purpose of the thank you button is for.






maybe one of my gripes with the lack of gratitude/thank you is that not only are thank yous not being given to good posts  or hard worked opinion posts is there are alot of what i call "click (clique)thank yous"or "club -thank yous  "
​meaning it doesnt  matter if the "thank you"er appreciates the post or not , if  it was a post posted by my buddy , ill click the thank you,even if the post was ridiculous or worthless,just go through some posts and see for yourselves that the same names appear in the thank you box when their buddy posted and you hardly see their names  in the thank  you box on other peoples posts  , i call it the gye underground)
(hey i didnt say names so if your upset with what i wrote could be that  deep in your heart you  recognize that some of your posts fall under the category of ridiculous/worthless ,so dont blame me )
therefore i feel some people have to work on their gratitude. btw ill be the first to admit that my posts are ridiculous/worthless but id like to debate it first .
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 03 Dec 2019 18:04 by sleepy.

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 03 Dec 2019 19:21 #345699

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its really amazing how stingy and cheap people are with their thank yous
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 00:46 #345706

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sleepy wrote on 03 Dec 2019 19:21:
its really amazing how stingy and cheap people are with their thank yous

Work for a cause, not for applause.

Live life to express, not to impress.

Don't strive to make your presence noticed, make your absence felt.


[Two things; 1. I work for applause and to impress and to be noticed. My work works, so I'm not complaining. 2. HHM & Yechida work for a cause and to express and to make their absence felt; HHM gets plenty of thanks (in person as well as on the post thingy) & Yechida is plenty appreciated. Personally, I swear at him all the time, but I always tell him how much he is appreciated. I'm not saying that to show I'm a good guy, I'm not, I'm rotten. I'm saying that to demonstrate that he's appreciated by me and by others.)
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 03:21 #345711

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sleepy wrote on 25 Nov 2019 22:59:
Hello. since the thank or not thank discussion was overcrowding the big o dilemma,a suggestion was given to me by one of the level headed posters to start a new thread on the issue .
The real name to the thread was supposed to be 
"TO BE (grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) ,
THAT IS THE QUESTION I ASK OF THEE"
but it was too many words.So Hatzlacha!

I will begin this thread - thank you Hashem/My Father from my heart for bringing me to my brothers here and all of their varied posts and perspectives which give me untold chizuk and frankly without whom i would not be clean and wouldnt have the insights and deeper perspective which i now have. These guys are life and soul savers.

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 05:35 #345716

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sleepy wrote on 03 Dec 2019 19:21:
its really amazing how stingy and cheap people are with their thank yous

Thank you's used to be a very cherished thing, until someone came along and thanked every post thereby cheaping the value of the thanks.

I have a secret formula to determine whether to thank a post.
2% of it is if the post is inspiring to me. 4% of it is if it will hold me back from masturbating.
3% is my mood.
99% is pure randomness.
Did I ever say I'm good at math?!
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 05:40 #345717

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lionking wrote on 04 Dec 2019 05:35:

sleepy wrote on 03 Dec 2019 19:21:
its really amazing how stingy and cheap people are with their thank yous

Thank you's used to be a very cherished thing, until someone came along and thanked every post thereby cheaping the value of the thanks.

I have a secret formula to determine whether to thank a post.
2% of it is if the post is inspiring to me. 4% of it is if it will hold me back from masturbating.
3% is my mood.
99% is pure randomness.
Did I ever say I'm good at math?!

if they became so cheap, why are people so stingy with them?probably their parents never taught them to say thank you.
and by the way , ask the owners of the post if they are appreciative when they receive a "cheap" thanks  ,i dont think anyone will be not  beappreciative,and if its appreciated ,then open up your tight fist and give a thanks!Thanks.(by the way dont thank me ,thats not my intention)
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 04 Dec 2019 05:47 by sleepy.

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 05:52 #345718

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My previous post was tongue in cheek hence the emoji..
In all seriousness,
I thank posts that speak to me.
I don't thank posts which I feel the poster is impos(t)ing an agenda.
I thank posts which help me get through the day, either by chizuk or a good smile.
I don't thank posts which criticize other people.

Thank You
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 17:54 #345737

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Mark18 wrote on 04 Dec 2019 03:21:

sleepy wrote on 25 Nov 2019 22:59:
Hello. since the thank or not thank discussion was overcrowding the big o dilemma,a suggestion was given to me by one of the level headed posters to start a new thread on the issue .
The real name to the thread was supposed to be 
"TO BE (grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) ,
THAT IS THE QUESTION I ASK OF THEE"
but it was too many words.So Hatzlacha!

I will begin this thread - thank you Hashem/My Father from my heart for bringing me to my brothers here and all of their varied posts and perspectives which give me untold chizuk and frankly without whom i would not be clean and wouldnt have the insights and deeper perspective which i now have. These guys are life and soul savers.



@mark18,i noticed that some people have made your karma to -4,please do not be discouraged or disheartened  by this, since you came to gye with your tremendous experience in counseling hundreds (was it thousands?) as chasanim ( people from the far right to the far left,)much light has been shed on certain matters of intamicy, chazak viematz,may you and us all make further strides in this nisayon!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: TO BE(grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) 04 Dec 2019 18:51 #345739

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sleepy wrote on 04 Dec 2019 17:54:

Mark18 wrote on 04 Dec 2019 03:21:

sleepy wrote on 25 Nov 2019 22:59:
Hello. since the thank or not thank discussion was overcrowding the big o dilemma,a suggestion was given to me by one of the level headed posters to start a new thread on the issue .
The real name to the thread was supposed to be 
"TO BE (grateful)OR NOT TO BE(grateful) ,
THAT IS THE QUESTION I ASK OF THEE"
but it was too many words.So Hatzlacha!

I will begin this thread - thank you Hashem/My Father from my heart for bringing me to my brothers here and all of their varied posts and perspectives which give me untold chizuk and frankly without whom i would not be clean and wouldnt have the insights and deeper perspective which i now have. These guys are life and soul savers.




@mark18,i noticed that some people have made your karma to -4,please do not be discouraged or disheartened  by this, since you came to gye with your tremendous experience in counseling hundreds (was it thousands?) as chasanim ( people from the far right to the far left,)much light has been shed on certain matters of intamicy, chazak viematz,may you and us all make further strides in this nisayon!

Thank you for your very kind words and chizuk. I truly feel from my heart that i am with my brothers here even those who disagree with me. Other than Hashem/my Father to whom else can you bare your heart and soul and know they truly understand and have lived/are still living with these challenges and struggles. My communal abd klei kodesh notwithstanding i was "blessed" with an incredible yetzer hara and very very strong taivos that only my brothers and Hashem/my Father knows. My wife is totally unaware of the true extent of my taivos although she certainly benefits greatly from my taivos during sex. The rest of the matters at hand including extremely strong ssa i share here to my two incredible anonymous telephone mentors and to Hashem/my Father. Everything else i take to my grave with me. Because of these mentors and my brothers here i have not acted out for over a month although there have been some times when i was at the jumping point for a serious fall which i would have really enjoyed but is just not worth the aftermath. This forum and the live chat have saved me many times even when i was at the point of no return. Its strange living a kind of double life. As to the "karmas" i pay absolutely no attention to them nor do i ever look at them regarding myself or anyone else because i dont believe or think they have any worth whatsoever. Thank you again my brother.
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