Kunena Site Syndication https://guardyoureyes.com Tue, 19 Nov 2019 15:19:06 +0000 Kunena 1.6 https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/icons/rss.png https://guardyoureyes.com/ en-gb https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345220-Need-My-Struggling-Brothers-To-Listen#345220 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345220-Need-My-Struggling-Brothers-To-Listen#345220 I really appreciate this forum and the opportunity to speak openly with guys who really understand my struggle. I really need to share this. I am clean for three weeks but the desire to masturbate is very often overwhelming. Frankly I would give in big time and probably go on a major binge. To tell the truth it is not the aveira itself thats stopping me but the fear of onesh and the fact that if I give in it will really distance me from my relationship with Hashem. I'm certainly not a tzadik or perhaps have the closest relationship with Hashem but I truly believe from the depths of my heart and soul that Hashem is my father. I find myself going to shul late at night when I'm sure I'm absolutely alone and talk to my Father openly without embarrassment and really cry and pour out my heart and soul to Him about everything in my life and my struggles with Shmiras Eynaim and masturbation. If I give in I know it will really distance me from him and it will take a long time and a lot of crying to get back to where I was in my closeness to my Father and I don't want to risk that happening like it did the last time I fell three weeks ago where I not only felt horrible, devestated and guilty but also knew that my relationship with my Father was damaged. The only thing is that those two things are the only things that stop me from masturbating but not the fact that it is an aveira itself. So I really feel lacking in my Yiras Shomayim because of this. Does anyone have any insights or thoughts on this. I would really appreciate my brothers here to share their experiences and feelings with me. I'm sorry this post has been so long but I had a lot to say from my heart. Thanks for listening.]]> What Works for Me Tue, 19 Nov 2019 01:20:22 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345220-Need-My-Struggling-Brothers-To-Listen#345220 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345176-just-sharing-some-things-which-help-me#345176 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345176-just-sharing-some-things-which-help-me#345176 I'm not speaking from a place of "being clean" for a significant amount of time or so, just want to share what I noticed does help, and what, in my own experience tends to bring me down...

1. what helps is being out there, in real life, talking to people, and in general being active, doing things.
2. very important to go to shul every day, even, and especially, after a yeridah.
3. make sure to learn torah, and especially chassidus every day.

what generally brings me down is,
1. Loneliness at home, when wife and family are sleeping and Im not tired...
go on computer, and after a while... you know..
for me, it's sometimes better to be in shul late then come home and potentially waste my time and get to these things chas vshalom

2. when I'm really excited, and on a high, for good reasons, but don't know how or where to channel that energy... unfortunately it many times brings to this.... oh well.
3. emptyness. if I haven't studied Torah that day at all, or not davened maariv yet....

also helps to have an active day by day and in general to be productive and "giving", i.e. not just reading or keeping to yourself but talking with people, and accomplishing things.

and ALWAYS ALWAYS get right back on track, keep davening, learning, aderabe, that is what helps you get back on track.

i wish I had advice on how to stay clean long term, but sadly can't say that yet...

but there is always hope, and as hard as it is, the fact that were still alive means H' is giving us another chance, and is waiting for us.]]> What Works for Me Sun, 17 Nov 2019 08:33:28 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345176-just-sharing-some-things-which-help-me#345176 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345077-Daily-lesson#345077 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345077-Daily-lesson#345077
I have come to realize that I always need to be involved in recovery, as I will explain shortly.

To that end I heard recently, that every day one should be able to finish the day and have learned something new. So I will IYH be posting here every day (besides Fri, Shabbos). Something I learned recovery based, either here on the forum or elsewhere. 

Hopefully this will give me a incentive to always look to be learning and growing.

Please feel free to discuss and debate anything I post.

First post is something I posted a few days ago, but it's related to the reason I started this thread, here it goes.


This is from a podcast, on which Eli Nash is interviewed. 

He said a great line. He still goes to meetings three times a week even though he's sober 2 and a half years because.

Im not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget"]]> What Works for Me Tue, 12 Nov 2019 14:03:42 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345077-Daily-lesson#345077 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345069-Replacing-Addictive-Behavriors#345069 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345069-Replacing-Addictive-Behavriors#345069
Eventually, when I setup filters, I still had this need/tendency to escape during stressful/boring moments while online.

I replaced searching for porn related Items, with searching for something else that I enjoyed/was interested in.

Eventually, I began an addiction with looking at Israel news. To this day, whenever I have a stressful moment, i begin switching through different israel news websites-obsessively..
Find something you enjoy reading about thats kosher, and flip to that obsessively instead of porn.

The next tip i would give is, eliminate all "legitimate" sites that have lusty articles. For a while I would visit "foxnews.com" as a legitimate reputable news outlet. However, very often they have articles, that are "gateway drugs to pornography" like articles  about teachers that had relations with students, or famous actors that become "porn stars" These entertainment news articles are basically equivalent to pornography because they pique your curiosity.. 

Even though to most people foxnews seems kosher enough, I have eliminated it from list of sites that I visit,because I know where it could lead.]]> What Works for Me Mon, 11 Nov 2019 19:20:58 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345069-Replacing-Addictive-Behavriors#345069 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345031-From-Models-to-Modeling-Be-a-Model-in-9-words#345031 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345031-From-Models-to-Modeling-Be-a-Model-in-9-words#345031
I welcome your feedback on how to ask the question to get replies. Thank you]]> What Works for Me Sun, 10 Nov 2019 18:55:44 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/345031-From-Models-to-Modeling-Be-a-Model-in-9-words#345031 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/344968-Searching-a-free-filter#344968 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/344968-Searching-a-free-filter#344968 I want to install a free client web filter for my computer at work, but I don't find.
K9 seems no more be installed.
Yishmoreini seems now to be payable.

I can't spend money on this, because it leaves traces.

Thank for your help]]> What Works for Me Thu, 07 Nov 2019 13:50:31 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/2-What-Works-for-Me/344968-Searching-a-free-filter#344968