Guard Your Eyes - Forum

Subject: Ramban's View on Bitachon EVEN for a Rasha - by: OTR

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 16:53:23 +0000

This was something incredibly powerful for me. The Ramban holds in emunah ubitachon (perek 1), that one may even have bitachon if he is a rasha. Yup.. he says it straight out. That is the reason why it says Bitach BaHashem, V'aseh Tov.

First, Bitcah BaHashem- every one may have bitachon in Hashem, that he loves them and will do everything to give them the best joy possible in this world. We may rely on this. EVEN a RASHA he says it out clear as day.

Second- Aseh Tov.. Secondary to this we must do good.

Now for one to use this as a rationalization to sin their life away and say they still have bitachin... sounds like they are cheating the system. To that I say- try.. because it's really not possible to do so continuously.. eventually the good wins out if you really believe it. (allow yourself to believe it) Because deep down we all want to be good.

Reading this ramban every morning for a while.. or at least most mornings. changed my outlook. Because I AM NOT A RASHA!!!! I act out and sometimes do very not nice things.. But I also wear a kippah keep shabbos, daven, try to conquer my anger and a lot of other stuff. But if I ate chazer, never davened, was always angry and selfish and masturbated all day according to the Ramban. I CAN STILL HAVE BITACHON!

see it inside for yourself...

Subject: Ramban's View on Bitachon EVEN for a Rasha - by: OTR

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 16:53:19 +0000

Subject: Shaar Bitachon - by: OTR

Tue, 19 Feb 2019 15:44:47 +0000

I was never big into the mussar approach. Yiras ha'onesh never talked to em, and still doesn't. I know there is a hell and I don't care enough to not act out because of it.

However, I want to sahre what has made a profound impact on my life. It doesn't help me stay clean when I have unrestricted internet access.. that environment is not one I want to be in and not one I think I will ever be able to be in at this time. But learning Shaar bitachon is Chovos halevavos every day (or at least regularly) has made a huge difference in how I see the world. I started with one or two minutes a few times a week, just to 'tune in'. Eventually I wanted to do a little more and got into doing it daily fora few minutes. The sefer does not tell you you have to have bitachin. But basically (as I read it) outlines what the relationship of bitachon looks like- whether that is bitachin in a friend, in god (which is his angle). The point is there are definitions for a trusting relationship. This was really powerful for me. Combined with an external environment that does not incite me, I feel very happy and normal.

Subject: SMART Recovery - by: lenegditamid100

Mon, 18 Feb 2019 04:52:07 +0000

Hi there,

May 2016 is the month of my first SA meeting. I'm sober ever since.

I have been using the SA method. Worked the steps etc.
Lately, for several reasons, I started looking for an alternative to 12 Steps.
With Hashem's help I found one, called SMART Recovery.
This program has people who are clean 10-20 years. it is science based. One does not need to be there long term (12 Steps is for life).

I am not advocating for it, for I only started to go to SMART meetings like two months ago.
For now, here are the pros and cons. This may change in a month or two. If it does, I will update here.

Pros:

Does not mix into my religion.
- So no non-Jewish prayers. No telling me how to believe in Hashem and more.
After a while (6 months to two years) one is free, and does not need meetings.
It believes in Choice. I have the power to stop.
Meetings are also free and worldwide.
they have a handbook. and all their tools for getting clean one can get online for free.
One never calls himself a addict when introducing himself.

Cons

There is no loving fellowship like 12 step groups.
One is on their own. There is no sponsors (mentors).
- Sure you can get one, but it is not mandatory like in 12 steps.
There is no ego boost for milestones. In 12 Steps, you get a chip for every milestone one passes for being sober, you start the meeting with saying how long you are sober.
- This sound silly, but it subconsciously helps newcomers, or even old timers.
Meetings are for all addictions (in 12 Steps, each addiction has their separate meetings and fellowship). That is not an issue, for how the program works, it is not needed.
- The hardship is as follows: a meeting starts with everyone saying their first name, and what addiction they are struggling with or struggled with. to say I have a Sex addiction or Porn Addiction, is not so easy, and may not be accepted.
  - When I go I just say "I have a maladaptive behavior (they have a private chat on their forum just for people with sex/porn issues and they suggest this there).

That it for now,
G'night.
LT

Subject: What do AFTER seeing a woman. - by: YeshivaBoy555

Sun, 10 Feb 2019 17:43:47 +0000

The Gemara tells us that were some Rabbis Who looked a woman and praised Hashem. The Gemara asks, it is permitted to look a woman? The Gemara responds that they had seen the woman by accident. Commentators explain that the whole life is a Nisayon. On the computer, Nisayon. On the street, Nisayon.
In the moment a woman passes don't look at her, Pray to Hashem like this: Hashem, I can look at her. In fact, I want to look. But, I will make your will and i will not look. Then, ask whatever you want: Health, Parnassah children, etc. and Hashem will fulfill it.

We all want to be Tzadikim, right?
There are many ways to be a Tzadik, like staying day and night studying. But, there is a equal and much easier way: The moment a woman passes, do not look at her. There, Chazal says, you are called a Tzadik. Also, your tefillah is compared to that of the Kohen Gadol.

In the time of the Beit Hamikdash, The Kohen Gadol entered to the Kodesh Hakodashim and said 10 times Hashem´s name "Havaya" (Yud-Kei-Vav-Kei). That in Gematria is 260.

We humans have 2 eyes. In Hebrew, the word eye (Ayin) is in Gematria 130. Then, 2 eyes (130+130)=260, Just like the Kohen Gadol tefillah!
So, if we take care of what we see, Our tefillah will be just as powerful as that of the Kohen Gadol. It is a good advice the next time we are tempted, and the Yetzer Hara wants to make us fall, we will win, because:
"Maalin BaKodesh veLo Moridin" ("We ascend in Holiness and we not descend").
Beshem Hashem Naase V´natzliach, Amen Ken Yehi Ratzon. ("In the name of G-d we will do and we will success").

Thanks,
Yeshivaboy555.
Contact: Yeshivaboy555(at)gmail.com

Subject: My story since childhood - by: YeshivaBoy555

Thu, 07 Feb 2019 03:26:25 +0000

First of all, I thank Hashem for helping me in my worst moments.
If only i had known this incredible site before...
All started when I was like 9 years.
I had a computer with free internet access. I remember when, after arriving from school, i looked women without shirt. Not porn, but at my age was terrible. Slowly, I was feeding my desire. One day, my father realized what i was doing, and installed the k9 filter. But that was not enough. The years passed, and inside me, my desire get bigger. When i was 12, i was viewing a (at that moment, pleasant, but horrible) video about an unclothed woman when, suddenly and accidentally, i masturbate. and, for the last, it liked me.
i started masturbate 2 or 3 times a week, but then i met the horrible porn world. After that moment, I masturbate once or twice a day. Even when I turned Bar mitzva, in Israel, i continued masturbating.
That was the same for 2 years.
I tried all kind of Shiurim, books (like If yo go to war, stuff like that) but nothing helped.
I prayed every day to Hashem for help me stop doing that. And one day, Hashem answered my prayers.
My rescue was in the Sefer Orchot Tzadikkim (or אורחות צדיקים) in Shaar Hateshuva or Gate of repentance. That day, i stopped doing that.
Since that day, im studying mussar and thanking G-d for the help.
My story isn´t the most fascinating or the best, but i hope it will help you with any struggle you have.
I have to clarify that i wasn't as easy that it seemed. I didn't last a week before falling back. It was a very difficult battle.
In one hand, I knew that i was doing evil in front Hashem. But in the other, Porn was a normal part of my life, like eat, sleep or walk.
I stopped one day, two, three, maybe four, but i always did it back.
I remember days when i masturbate 3 times in a row! I believed i was lost, that Hashem hated me, "You will go to the Gehinnom/Hell", my Yetzer told me. But No! that were the typical fake desperate comments of the Yetzer Hara! You have to know, my friend, that our Yetzer, when he seems that He is lost, add more fuel to the fire, making us believe that we are the worst, that Hashem hates us. But, on the contrary, He loves us, much more than Tzaddikim/Righteous! He patiently waits us to change, to make Teshuva. When we achieve it, he will give us infinite love and a big Part in the Olam Haba/World to Come, because: "In the place a Baal Teshuva stands, anybody (even big Tzadikim) can stand".
So, it's time to get Chizuk and make a little change in our lives.
Hatzlacha leKulam (Good luck to all)
If you want direct help, contact me here in GYE: Im Yeshivaboy555.
Or, if you want, at my Email: Yeshivaboy555@gmail.com
I will be there, Any day, Anytime.

Thanks,
Yeshivaboy555

Subject: Rav Shalom Arush on overcoming the Yetzer HaRa - by: ColinColin

Mon, 28 Jan 2019 03:16:37 +0000

www.breslev.co.il/articles/judaism/concepts_in_judaism/dont_go_it_alone.aspx?id=33832&language=english

Don't Go it Alone! Our sages have explicitly stated that overcoming the evil inclination is beyond a person’s abilities. Why does Hashem command us to do something that we can't do?

By: Rabbi Shalom Arush

Update date: 1/27/2019, 10:43

The Gemara teaches, “Rabbi Shimon ben Lakish said: A person’s evil inclination rises up against him every day and seeks to kill him. As the verse states, ‘The wicked one looks at the righteous person and seeks to kill him’ (Psalm 37:32). And if were not for the fact that the Holy One, blessed be He, helps him, he could not overcome it. As the verse states, ‘Hashem will not abandon him into its hand and will not condemn him to His judgment’ (ibid. 33)” (Succah 52b).

The Gemara here shows that Hashem created an evil inclination in man and gave it the power to overcome him. What's more, a person cannot overcome the evil inclination by himself, without the Hashem's help! The essence of the evil inclination is the desire for engaging in debauchery. As the holy Zohar teaches, “The essence of the evil inclination is the desire for forbidden relations.” Rebbe Nachman says that rectifying this area is a person's main rectification and the prime reason that he was sent into the world (Sichot Haran 115).

The holy Ohr Hachaim says that personal holiness is man’s most difficult challenge:

"It is known that all of the mitzvot that Hashem commanded His holy nation are mitzvot that a person can successfully keep, bending his will to do them—except for the mitzvah of separating oneself from forbidden relations. That is something that a person’s spirit desires and impels him to engage in, unless he makes a great effort to distance himself from two things: he distances himself from the influence of his sense of sight and he distances himself from the influence of his thoughts. But if a person does not do these two things, he cannot control this evil spirit…"

In other words, the holy Ohr Hachaim is saying that a person does not have the power to avoid debauchery. The only factors that can prevent him from doing so are having eyes that are entirely guarded and thoughts that are entirely clean. That is to say, in order to be protected from engaging in forbidden relations, a person must be a Holy of Holies. And what will all other people do, who are as far from this as the East is from the West? They need Hashem's help; if Hashem does not help them, they cannot succeed, because this challenge is beyond their power!

This means that our sages have explicitly stated that overcoming the evil inclination is beyond a person’s abilities. To overcome the evil inclination, we require assistance.

In our generation, in which we see the upsurge of the evil inclination and its cravings to such an alarming degree that they appear to have gone out of control, so that almost all people either surrender to their cravings and enter with them into dark and murky places, or else they try to overcome them with their own strength and fail each time, again and again, until they despair. Each time they are tested, they fail. That is because they are attempting to proceed on the basis of their own ability. Afterwards, they grow depressed, blame themselves and torment themselves. This is caused by their belief that they have the power to overcome their evil inclination, which leads them to think that they are terribly guilty. These two errors originate from the same source: they do not understand that overcoming the evil inclination is not within their power.

The central test of every individual is to overcome the powers of evil within himself—i.e., his evil inclination. The central powers of evil are the cravings and evil traits that rule over a person and dictate how to act. In most cases, the person knows that this behavior is very wrong, that it harms and damages him and his family, and that it is forbidden by the Torah. But at the moment that the craving overcomes him, that doesn’t interest him at all. And so against his will and against his better judgment, he is dragged after his evil cravings as though he is their captive. The Gemara here testifies that this is a spiritual law of nature. Understand this: alone, you cannot succeed. You need help. And, the only one that can help you is Hashem. Therefore, start praying to Him and asking for His help. This is something we can do right now.

So now we have the answer to our question. Hashem commands us to do something that we can't - alone. We must get close to Him and ask for His help to fulfill His commandment. That is exactly what Hashem wants.