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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.

TOPIC: Fifty years 24628 Views

Re: Fifty years 24 Jul 2018 16:28 #333828

  • JoyOfLife
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Awesome! You have gye cheering you on. Do you care to share a little bt (pun intended) more about what you're going through? It might be helpful to share with others for advice/getting it off your chest

Re: Fifty years 24 Jul 2018 21:01 #333834

  • Dovid824
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It's simply that I spent most of my life being stupid and selfish. As a result, I'm unemployed, almost out of money, close to being homeless, and have no support network of family or friends to fall back on.

But at least I'm healthy.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 24 Jul 2018 21:01 by Dovid824.

Re: Fifty years 24 Jul 2018 22:27 #333844

  • mzl
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What can we do?

Do you have any skills?

Re: Fifty years 25 Jul 2018 02:46 #333853

  • Dovid824
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mzl: I don't really expect to get practical help here. I only posted my sad situation in answer to JoyOfLife's question.

But the positive side is that my problems led to my becoming a Baal Teshuvah and a Torah observant Jew. And "hitting bottom" resulted in my becoming "clean" and staying clean for 54 days.

My education was in math, and my background is in computer programming, but at my age, jobs in that field are not abundant.

One lesson I've learned is the importance of staying close to one's family. Even if they're annoying psychopaths who are driving you nuts, someday you may need their help.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 25 Jul 2018 11:19 by Dovid824.

Re: Fifty years 12 Aug 2018 02:52 #334558

  • Dovid824
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72 days (18 x 4).

Even though the schmutz has been cleaned out, I still have my memory and my imagination.

I've been tempted a few times, but have resisted the temptation for two reasons:

1. I know that Hashem is watching me.
2. If this is the last day of my life, or the last day before Moshiach arrives, I want it to be a clean day.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]

Re: Fifty years 13 Aug 2018 21:07 #334617

  • tiefster88
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I find this inspiring and I like your thread.

It's beautiful that you keep it so simple and don't let anybody complicate things.

All the very best, 

Re: Fifty years 15 Aug 2018 20:21 #334706

  • Dovid824
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Dovid824 wrote on 12 Aug 2018 02:52:
...

I've been tempted a few times, but have resisted the temptation for two reasons:

1. I know that Hashem is watching me.
2. If this is the last day of my life, or the last day before Moshiach arrives, I want it to be a clean day.


I thought of another reason:

3. One sin leads to another. [Avos 4:2]

If I were to transgress once, that would make it easier to continue transgressing. Likewise, one mitzvah leads to another, so each time I resist the temptation, it strengthens my ability to resist future temptations.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 15 Aug 2018 20:28 by Dovid824.

Re: Fifty years 24 Aug 2018 15:05 #334961

  • Dovid824
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I thought this article, from yesterday's Daf Yomi Digest for Menachos 13, was relevant here.

STORIES Off the Daf

A Man’s House is His Castle

Today’s daf discusses the prohibition of piggul, a product of inappropriate thoughts. It is no surprise that the Alter of Kelm, zt”l, calls illicit thoughts piggul. But many who are assailed by negative thoughts wonder what they can do to rectify the situation.

A certain ba’al habayis went to the Maggid of Mezeritch, zt”l, with this very problem. He cried, “Rebbe, please help me find a way to conquer the negative thoughts that are so hard for me to overcome!”

The Maggid sent this man to Rav Zev of Zhitomir, the author of the Ohr HaMeir, zt”l, saying, “Since you are a ba’al habayis, it would be better if a ba’al habayis showed you how he overcomes such challenges...”

Despite the freezing cold and difficult conditions for travel, this man rented a wagon and rode all the way to Zhitomir where the Ohr Hameir served as the town’s shochet.

When the man finally arrived at the front door, he knocked loudly. Strangely, although he could see from the light, that Rav Zev was awake, no one came to open the door.

He knocked again but the door remained shut. It was very cold and the ba’al habayis didn’t wish to wait until morning so he began to knock with all of his remaining strength.

Finally Rav Zev came to the door and asked, “Who is knocking at my door so late at night?”

“I have been sent by the Maggid to ask how to overcome the negative thoughts that plague me,” he replied.

“But you are obviously a ba’al habayis,” answered Rav Zev.

“So?”

“As I have just demonstrated by letting you stand outside here, one who is a ba’al habayis can refuse entry to anyone knocking at his door. The same is true for illicit thoughts. If you keep the door of your mind closed by thinking in Torah, such thoughts have no choice but to remain outside. It is only if we let them in that they can gain entry even when we prefer they remain outside.

“This is the meaning of the Mishnah:
אם בטלת מן התורה, יש לך הרבה בטלים
כנגדך
This means that if one does not occupy himself with Torah, even if he wishes to guard his thoughts, he will be beset with negative thoughts chas v’shalom.”

Rav Zev blessed the man with success and sent him on his way.


www.dafdigest.org/Menachos/Menachos%20013.pdf
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 24 Aug 2018 15:12 by Dovid824.

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 10:33 #335121

  • Dovid824
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90 Days
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 10:53 #335122

  • JoyOfLife
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Awesome!!!! Congratulations!!! Really happy for you, bh you are a source of inspiration for others such as myself, thank you

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 12:38 #335126

  • mzl
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Dovid824 wrote on 29 Aug 2018 10:33:
90 Days

Congratulations.

This looks like a unix command, does the code for this forum fork and run arbitrary commands?

echo Days clean: $(( ($(date +%s) - $(date --date="2018-05-31" +%s) )/(60*60*24) ))

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 13:34 #335129

  • lionking
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mzl wrote on 29 Aug 2018 12:38:

Dovid824 wrote on 29 Aug 2018 10:33:
90 Days

Congratulations.

This looks like a unix command, does the code for this forum fork and run arbitrary commands?

echo Days clean: $(( ($(date +%s) - $(date --date="2018-05-31" +%s) )/(60*60*24) ))

It is a unix command. The forum doesn't run arbitrary code. That would've opened the site up to a host of issues in regards to security.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 13:36 #335130

  • lionking
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Dovid824 wrote on 29 Aug 2018 10:33:
90 Days

Mazel Tov! Keep going strong. You are an inspiration!
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 14:15 #335133

  • mzl
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lionking wrote on 29 Aug 2018 13:34:

mzl wrote on 29 Aug 2018 12:38:

Dovid824 wrote on 29 Aug 2018 10:33:
90 Days

Congratulations.

This looks like a unix command, does the code for this forum fork and run arbitrary commands?

echo Days clean: $(( ($(date +%s) - $(date --date="2018-05-31" +%s) )/(60*60*24) ))

It is a unix command. The forum doesn't run arbitrary code. That would've opened the site up to a host of issues in regards to security.

Exactly. So why do you need that in your signature?

Re: Fifty years 29 Aug 2018 14:36 #335134

  • Dovid824
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Exactly. So why do you need that in your signature?

1. It's a convenient place to keep it for my own reference.
2. It's symbolic.
3. It's my signature and I can put whatever I want there.
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]
Last Edit: 29 Aug 2018 14:39 by Dovid824.
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