Guard Your Eyes - Forum Kunena Site Syndication Sun, 26 Jan 2020 18:09:06 +0000 Kunena 1.6 Guard Your Eyes - Forum en-gb Subject: Introduction and Practical High School Question - by: stronglife Question: My parents are oblivious to my addiction -- and I plan to keep it like that. However, GYE has a lot of material to read and one of my mentors also recently sent me a huge PDF that I don't have the energy to scroll through on a screen for hours on end. I want to purchase the book I was sent and have a hard copy, but I don't have my own amazon account, or credit card or anything. Let's just say I'm having trouble getting the book without my parents. What should I do? ]]> Introduce Yourself Sat, 25 Jan 2020 00:07:24 +0000 Subject: Trying to break free from pornagraphy - by: Davej anyone have any ideas how to break free.
I have a filter but you can get apps that bypass the filter. ]]>
Introduce Yourself Sun, 19 Jan 2020 22:14:54 +0000
Subject: Introducing myself (original title) - by: Looking_to_improve First time poster here so here goes!

I started learning in Eretz Yisrael this past Elul and I joined the site around a month later. Not sure how much of my life story I should tell or how much that anyone would be willing to to read but I reckon this will be decent...

I think when I was young (maybe 8-9 really can't remember well)I started to touch myself inappropriately, not as masturbation, and I think this is a habit that has stuck for a while. I remember since when I was 12/13 I often had fantasies of family friends and girls my age. I think this was the main problem at the time. I've had social media and that was a problem for a while, both with non-inapproriate content of people I knew and some less inappropriate stuff of friends of friends and stam random accounts(which I didn't follow- not that I makes much of a difference). A few times I unfollowed all the people I knew but sometimes a few months later I would be back to following them again.  I don't know for certain how often I was looking at these pictures, but I'm think it was maybe 2-3 times a week, and I was probably fantasising just as often if not more. Although I don't think this was a great place to be at the time, I think it became a bit of a habit which I didn't really change for a while, more than an desire or urge to fantasise if that makes sense, it was often something I would do just before I went to sleep.

BH for many years I did not look at very inappropriate content or p*rn and it wasn't a problem for me during that time.

Last year, the last year of high school we had exams and I think I was quite stressed (a circumstance, not an excuse) and towards the end of the exam period and into the long summer I had after I stated to watch more inappropriate content like p*rn and start to be mz"l more often. Since then it has been the main problem I've been struggling with and want to change. I haven't been on any p*rn website, just other ones that have that content, if that makes sense. (I could be more specific, but I wouldn't want to give ideas for anyone else). 

Here's where I'm at, at the moment:
I think I've been relapsing around every 4-7 days, and I think my most days clean was 14-15. Unfortunately I don't think in general it's a matter of stopping myself during those 4 days or so, just that I don't feel any urges or impulses to do so during that time. 
Often when I do fall I regret it immediately and the fall(not the word I'm looking for but anyway) itself is very short. I definitely find that I anticipate a fall a lot and have high expectations and the the relapse is nowhere as good as I've convinced myself (as it obviously isn't anyway), like climbing a big mountain expecting a huge slide down and it's just a plateau. Occasionally it is on my mind during night seder or dinner and when I go back to my room I fall.

Part 1/2 
Please wait for part 2 before responding, breaking it up so easier to edit]]>
Introduce Yourself Sat, 18 Jan 2020 22:14:05 +0000
Subject: renewed investment in life - by: shlemeil
I now have filtered Internet, Baruch H'Shem. This all occurred because I was unable to access my emails, the error note read "blocked by administrator." Covenant Eyes is the only administrator on my Kindle, so, I called their support number. That problem was not immediately solved; yet, at the end of the phone call, I was asked if there was anything else I had a question about; I brought up about not being able to use the Covenant Eyes filter; b'ezrach H'Shem, I was shown the solution. I asked what the additional charge for the filter was; I was told that it's free. Also, by the end of the phone call, I was able to access my emails. All arranged from Shomayim.

This is my second time on the forum; previously, under a different account, and user name, years ago. H'Shem willing, I can exhibit more self-control, now that I have a filter. If only  my neshamah can be purified.]]>
Introduce Yourself Tue, 14 Jan 2020 02:45:33 +0000
Subject: Techy - by: N8 my journey to becoming clean started over a year in yeshiva in ארץ ישראל. Before I get into that, let me introduce myself,
I grew up in a less yeshivish family, but not modern. Ive been struggling with זרה לבטלה and po*n since i was 12. I also happen to have a very good grasp of technology. Over the years I went a month or 2 without watching but never more than 15 days of not being מוציה לבטלה. As a teenager I always thought that I'll take care of this problem once I turned 20. 
i tried a few times to stope before i turned 20, but I always found ways to bypass what others had set up to block me. I also didn't really enjoy my learning in yeshiva throughout those years/ or able even be able to think in learning. When I turned 20 I finally got fed up and started my real fight in my yeshiva I had just joined in ארץ ישראל. ץ. I struggled on and off for a few months, my longest streak was 40 days. After this vicious cycle of struggling, I came back to my yeshiva after that פסח and didnt use my smartphone, ( I used a nokia phone that had call/txt) and stayed indoors for as much as possible for 30 days, it was difficult but I made it through and I also to my suprise discovered that I really enjoy learning and actually have a brain. This streak continued through mid summer when I fell a few days before 90. I got back up after 2 falls and I've been clean since then b"h. Im currently on day 141 b"eh!!!!

from my struggles I noticed a few things:
1) this topic is not discussed enough in the yeshiva world as being as a big of a problem as it really is. 

2) for anyone whoe is tech savy, there isn't a single filter you cant bypass. I personally am learning ethicak hacking at the moment and programming. The flaws in the software available is crazy. i have ways for bypassing some of the most recommended filters.

I've had a idea for a little bit but I want to start a version on android that is kosher by design, not frankenstien packaged like a lot of kosher phones on the market. If theres anyone else who is tech savy, I'd like to hear you story and your struggles. 

~ a single non dating yeshiva bochur
(i hope this thread makes sense]]>
Introduce Yourself Fri, 10 Jan 2020 06:29:33 +0000
Subject: Struggling... I know too much - by: TryingToChange1 I just joined and I need help. I’m 27/married and get sucked in about 2-3 times a week to Schmutz I’ve tried filters on my phone, the issue is I’m a web developer and I’ve found a loophole that no filter works for:/ (this is in iPhone) even if I completely lockdown my internet to a whitelist, I still can get shmutz if I want it. I’m trying to quit, but it’s so difficult, especially without a good filter.

Any chizuk and help is appreciated!]]>
Introduce Yourself Wed, 01 Jan 2020 23:06:21 +0000