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TOPIC: Not given up yet 5076 Views

Re: Not given up yet 07 Oct 2022 09:36 #386347

  • jackthejew
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If I can restate the question:
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in Lashon Harah that makes such a big spiritual distancing? How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in Bittul Toirah that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in something that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while I don't spend every waking moment thinking about Hashem and his glory and that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
I think the answer may be that becoming closer to Hashem is a life's work. Nobody is perfect, and the ultimate closeness to Hashem can actually only be achieved when Moshiach comes. Our job is to do what we have to do in order to better ourselves, and even though it's not perfect, if we're giving the effort, that's what will bring us closer. Anything done B'oines (without choice; addiction and obsession fall into this category according to most Gedoilim of this generation and of previous ones) Is not something to fret over now. The job we have now is to get closer by giving sincere effort and having the desire to change.
Feel free to reach out! jackthejewgye@gmail.com I'll do my best to try and listen! 
Hashem is always with you!
Life. Learning. Liberty from the Past
Life: Actual, enjoyable living. Not to sulk through the shadows juggling the "Frum side" and "Dark side"
Learning: Learn and grow from my mistakes, triumphs, and experiences
Liberty from the Past:  To have today's struggle be Different than yesterday's

Re: Not given up yet 07 Oct 2022 13:13 #386348

  • Goldfish
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jackthejew wrote on 07 Oct 2022 09:36:
If I can restate the question:
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in Lashon Harah that makes such a big spiritual distancing? How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in Bittul Toirah that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in something that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while I don't spend every waking moment thinking about Hashem and his glory and that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
I think the answer may be that becoming closer to Hashem is a life's work. Nobody is perfect, and the ultimate closeness to Hashem can actually only be achieved when Moshiach comes. Our job is to do what we have to do in order to better ourselves, and even though it's not perfect, if we're giving the effort, that's what will bring us closer. Anything done B'oines (without choice; addiction and obsession fall into this category according to most Gedoilim of this generation and of previous ones) Is not something to fret over now. The job we have now is to get closer by giving sincere effort and having the desire to change.

I don't think you fully understood my question. I do indeed work on not speaking Loshon Hora and on trying to think about Hashem. On Yom Kippur I was full of remorse for having failed to use my mouth propeolr etc, and I promised to try harder. In the area of Pegam Habris however, I couldn't honestly tell myself that I would change because I don't believe that I really have much to do about it. Therefore I can't really regret something that I'm not doing anything to change (because I don't believe that I can, assuming its an illness.) Have I clarified my question?
Still Struggling, But I Won't Give Up



ר׳ יוסי אומר: טוב עשרה טפחים ועומד ממאה אמה ונופל (אבות דרבי נתן א:ז)

Re: Not given up yet 07 Oct 2022 14:17 #386353

  • Vehkam
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Goldfish wrote on 07 Oct 2022 13:13:

jackthejew wrote on 07 Oct 2022 09:36:
If I can restate the question:
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in Lashon Harah that makes such a big spiritual distancing? How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in Bittul Toirah that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while involved in something that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
How can I honestly say I want to come closer to hashem while I don't spend every waking moment thinking about Hashem and his glory and that makes such a big spiritual distancing?
I think the answer may be that becoming closer to Hashem is a life's work. Nobody is perfect, and the ultimate closeness to Hashem can actually only be achieved when Moshiach comes. Our job is to do what we have to do in order to better ourselves, and even though it's not perfect, if we're giving the effort, that's what will bring us closer. Anything done B'oines (without choice; addiction and obsession fall into this category according to most Gedoilim of this generation and of previous ones) Is not something to fret over now. The job we have now is to get closer by giving sincere effort and having the desire to change.

I don't think you fully understood my question. I do indeed work on not speaking Loshon Hora and on trying to think about Hashem. On Yom Kippur I was full of remorse for having failed to use my mouth propeolr etc, and I promised to try harder. In the area of Pegam Habris however, I couldn't honestly tell myself that I would change because I don't believe that I really have much to do about it. Therefore I can't really regret something that I'm not doing anything to change (because I don't believe that I can, assuming its an illness.) Have I clarified my question?

i would suggest that it is not your job to "guarantee" change.  your job may be to keep trying....
vehkam7@gmail.com

guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/375452-Work-in-progress

The Battle of the Generation by Hillel S. has been a huge help for me.  Message me to find out how you can receive a free copy.



some of the experiences I write about may make it easier to identify me.  This is ok.  I trust that if anyone discovers my identity they will keep it to themselves.  If you do realize that you  know me, I am completely comfortable and welcome you acknowledging me and my struggle in person.
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