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Make it to Yeshiva
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TOPIC: Make it to Yeshiva 27715 Views

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 28 Jan 2021 18:49 #362189

  • Ish MiGrodno
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PM me if you need a chavrusa by phone.
Seriously.

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Jan 2021 00:14 #362204

  • YeshivaGuy
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Honesty.
With myself, you guys, and with HaShem.
So here it is: I have a taiva, a lingering thought in my head to get one of my parents to put in the restrictions code and to download a chatting/hookup app.
My taiva is mainly to have a relationship, and these things are a thrill...

This is what is going through my mind.
Keeping you guys posted.
Im past that garbage. All eitzas are open. 

Thank You all so so much!

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Jan 2021 02:36 #362213

  • Hashem Help Me
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I have a better taiva for you. Pick some interseting Minchas Chinuchs on Korban Pesach (last week's parsha). Make them your weekend off project.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Jan 2021 02:59 #362217

  • Markz
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 29 Jan 2021 00:14:
Honesty.
With myself, you guys, and with HaShem.
So here it is: I have a taiva, a lingering thought in my head to get one of my parents to put in the restrictions code and to download a chatting/hookup app.
My taiva is mainly to have a relationship, and these things are a thrill...

This is what is going through my mind.
Keeping you guys posted.
Im past that garbage. All eitzas are open. 

Thank You all so so much!

Thanks for sharing your ups and downs - real people have real situations to deal with!

Feel free to write your feelings out right here. 

You could also have written

I have a taiva... for a chatting app. 
My taiva is mainly to have a relationship, and these things are a thrill...
And heck for the last few days I’ve been made to feel like  garbage, and so all eitzas are open. 

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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Jan 2021 03:24 #362218

  • YeshivaGuy
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Markz wrote on 29 Jan 2021 02:59:

YeshivaGuy wrote on 29 Jan 2021 00:14:
Honesty.
With myself, you guys, and with HaShem.
So here it is: I have a taiva, a lingering thought in my head to get one of my parents to put in the restrictions code and to download a chatting/hookup app.
My taiva is mainly to have a relationship, and these things are a thrill...

This is what is going through my mind.
Keeping you guys posted.
Im past that garbage. All eitzas are open. 

Thank You all so so much!

Thanks for sharing your ups and downs - real people have real situations to deal with!

Feel free to write your feelings out right here. 

You could also have written

I have a taiva... for a chatting app. 
My taiva is mainly to have a relationship, and these things are a thrill...
And heck for the last few days I’ve been made to feel like  garbage, and so all eitzas are open.



Amazing! Thanks so so much, i love having u around

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Jan 2021 03:25 #362219

  • YeshivaGuy
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 29 Jan 2021 02:36:
I have a better taiva for you. Pick some interseting Minchas Chinuchs on Korban Pesach (last week's parsha). Make them your weekend off project.

Great call. I have a few blatt I gotta chazer, but ur right, I’ll choose something Geshmak and make it a project
Last Edit: 29 Jan 2021 03:31 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 29 Jan 2021 03:39 #362222

  • YeshivaGuy
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I was driving with a close friend of mine enroute home, and I mentioned to him my kabola to not use unfiltered internet device/tv and he said “so how are u gonna chill/what are u gonna do the whole time?” He couldn’t chap like what am I gonna do over the off shabbos.
I said “idk but not that stuff!” 
It’s scary at first, when detaching from things which we grow up going to for entertainment/relaxation.
And like, lmaaseh, I can’t play basketball outside cuz it’s freezing (I guess now u guys know what side of the Equator I live), so we’ll see.

In my mind, my goal here is not simply to stop Masterbating/watching bad vids, but more than that.
My goal is to become a person with a “chush” for ruchnius...
Obviously one should take baby steps, but I think I’m holding here bh.

Anyway, thanks for hearing me out!

YeshivaGuy
Last Edit: 29 Jan 2021 03:41 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 30 Jan 2021 23:05 #362285

  • YeshivaGuy
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Been waiting all Shabbos to share where I’m holding.

Had a lot of taiva to masterbate over Shabbos.
Still have that taiva.
Thoughts in my mind to go online on chatting site/masterbate/watch vids/get restrictions code.

Will try to push myself to work out.
Its empty being home, not a Makom Aliya, so when there’s no ruach of Ruchnius pushing me in one direction, the ruach hatuma is felt much stronger.

I will prob be posting a lot tonight.
Its very hard, but I want a life of Kedusha so badly.

Thought of a girl from my past over Shabbos. Was hard. Felt “charata” that I gave that up...

Parents mentioned shidduchim, (and the physical characteristics id prefer, Oy..) so was on my mind a shtikl.
I really just want a kesher, to express love and give myself over to my wife bezras Hashem. 
So was hard, I dreamed of such a deep kesher.
I know that if this is what I aspire to have one day then I must NOT train myself to express my sexuality in a selfish manner.

Its funny, the Yetzer Hara seeks to take this real desire within me to “give,” and get me to channel it to “take.”
Ive fallen into this trap before.
In the past when I’d masterbate “to something,” I would think in my mind כאילו I’m giving myself over to that shiksa.
And I guess I was, I was giving myself over to the צד הטומאה... 

But not this time. 
I just can’t let go. I love the Ribono Shel Olam too much to do that...
Together we willl emerge from this furnace unscathed.

Anyway, gut vuch
Will be bkesher bezras Hashem
Last Edit: 30 Jan 2021 23:20 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 30 Jan 2021 23:56 #362288

  • BHYY
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Nu YeshivaGuy, it’s after Tu B’shvat-you’re out of the freezer?
I hear you, I was home for Shabbos too...empty. 

I really just want a kesher, to express love and give myself over to my wife bezras Hashem. 


I hear you...I really do. That’s why we’re here working on ourselves. You’re doing great and you definitely have the right mindset. I really think you’ll make a great husband. 
Post away, it’s always a pleasure to hear from you.

נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 31 Jan 2021 05:10 #362303

  • YeshivaGuy
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Doing well bh. Have some probs but will discuss in the coming days...
Gotta bentch/still daven and go to sleep without Masterbating or using internet.
Rough times.....

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 31 Jan 2021 05:33 #362304

  • YeshivaGuy
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I wonder, maybe if I’d just masterbate id be happier? With an extra boost of dopamine?
I know it’s a crumb sevara, but the Yetzer has a good point... no?

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 31 Jan 2021 05:47 #362305

  • YeshivaGuy
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About to start shmoneh esrai (super late, ik).
Thinking bout going to the room next to mine with a computer.........

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 31 Jan 2021 05:54 #362306

  • Markz
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 31 Jan 2021 05:33:
I wonder, maybe if I’d just masterbate id be happier? With an extra boost of dopamine?
I know it’s a crumb sevara, but the Yetzer has a good point... no?

Yes. 

Don’t let any MonstahTricks tell you otherwize
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Re: Make it to Yeshiva 31 Jan 2021 05:57 #362307

  • YeshivaGuy
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It’s amazing, how the taiva fantasizes about the hanaa of the zera coming out. But what’s so amazing is that ik the moment it comes out, the “ever” becomes just a wet piece of meat and it was all an illusion

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 31 Jan 2021 06:01 #362308

  • wilnevergiveup
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 31 Jan 2021 05:57:
It’s amazing, how the taiva fantasizes about the hanaa of the zera coming out. But what’s so amazing is that ik the moment it comes out, the “ever” becomes just a wet piece of meat and it was all an illusion

You surely turned me off with that one...
Check out My thread  and The Truth

Daily Dose of Clarity

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