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Make it to Yeshiva
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TOPIC: Make it to Yeshiva 30390 Views

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 23 May 2021 17:02 #368865

  • DavidT
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 23 May 2021 15:08:
Worked very hard to keep clean last night.
And fell this morning.
Fed up with this stuff.

Goodbye and goodluck.

After a setback it’s natural to be very harsh on yourself, and call yourself a fool or a hopeless loser. You may feel that talking that way to yourself will help you “get the message”, and avoid setbacks in the future. However, studies have shown that this type of self-criticism backfires badly. These crushing negative thoughts after a setback are what we hint to when we ask Hashem to “Remove Satan from before us and after us.”

You’ll get much better results if you channel your negative energy after a setback into creating or revising your plan. Being compassionate to yourself, and talking to yourself as you would to someone you care about, leads to more motivation and improved self-control. Instead of blaming your personality for a slip, blame your plan (or lack of one). Realize that you need a better plan to cope with the situation that led to the lapse.

I know you've heard this many time, but it's a good idea to repeat it ... When you set a large goal like quitting P&M for good, it can sound like an insurmountable task, particularly in the beginning. So instead of saying to yourself, "I'll never be able to use P&M again," adopt the mindset that you're just going to take "one day at a time." Adopting this mindset means that when you wake up each morning, you're only trying to stay clean for that day. Before you know it, days will turn into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years.

We hope to hear great news from you! (small achievements are also great news) 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 23 May 2021 18:40 #368872

  • BHYY
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 23 May 2021 15:08:
Worked very hard to keep clean last night.
And fell this morning.
Fed up with this stuff.

Goodbye and goodluck.

What do the 2 have to do with each other?
You were a hero last night!
So you hit a speed bump this morning, that doesn't undo last night! Believe me, I know your situation. I live it too, unfiltered access everywhere I turn. But we have to throw the perfectionism out the window and rejoice with small victories.
Break out the good stuff.
נאָך אַ שריפה ווערט מען רייַך - After a fire one becomes wealthy.

My email: bhyy@protonmail.com

My thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/349632-Hayom-Yom

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 24 May 2021 01:58 #368895

  • YeshivaGuy
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Was just at a vort, and there were quite a lot of pretty girls etc.
I was almost perfect with Shmiras Eynayim.
Passing a girl in hallway I looked forward.
A bunch of pretty girls on the street. No look, just walking forward.
Even when I knew they were “looking at me” while walking, I payed mamash no attention.

The vort was in bottom of a shul. After saying Mazel Tov and dancing a shtikl I went upstairs and learnt.
In the past I would hang around and stare stare stare...

How did I have the strength to do this?
Not sure, it was poshut in my mind to get out of there (couldn’t leave cuz was with my parents and b’chlall not near home).

Before entering the hall I davend for siyata dishmaya...
It’s easy in these situations to be paraded by by my mother to show off her “chasan buchar,” at which point I’d see the women on other side of mechitza.
But bh I persevered.
And actually, a big shadchan told me as I was walking back outside that when “she sees me she sees the shechina.”
Definitely a gross exaggeration, maybe it was the color of my tie.
Byt either way, it made me feel good and maybe HaShem was trying to tell me I still have shaychus to Kedusha.
But who knows...

Hatzlocha
Last Edit: 24 May 2021 02:17 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 24 May 2021 04:59 #368898

  • YeshivaGuy
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Fell now again.
Why? Honestly, stam. Just stam a habit at this point.

Anyway, onwards.

I have an appointment Mon Night and return to Yeshiva tues morn.
Returning to structure should help bezras Hashem.

Gotta stay positive and daven.
Gn
Last Edit: 24 May 2021 05:29 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 24 May 2021 10:25 #368900

YeshivaGuy wrote on 24 May 2021 01:58:
And actually, a big shadchan told me as I was walking back outside that when “she sees me she sees the shechina.”
Definitely a gross exaggeration, maybe it was the color of my tie.

Maybe it was your shemiras einaim, or maybe your anivus

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 24 May 2021 22:07 #368944

  • Hashem Help Me
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Buddy, you made a deal and BH are keeping the deal excellently. The agreement was purposely not about masturbation. Instead of knocking yourself down about masturbation, walk with your head held high that BH you have passed nisayon after nisayon regarding shmiras einaim, unsafe devices, etc.!! You have kept your gedarim in a way that other bochurim can only wish for.  Especially since enough wise people have "diagnosed" that at this stage, the masturbation is an anxiety issue, more than it being a kedusha issue, let yourself live! Iyh the day will come that you will have more menuchas hanefesh, and then the masturbation will b'ezras Hashem stop too. And it will stop to the extent that even if once in a while you will experience severe stress, you will iyh stay clean.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 24 May 2021 22:23 #368945

  • YeshivaGuy
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 24 May 2021 22:07:
Buddy, you made a deal and BH are keeping the deal excellently. The agreement was purposely not about masturbation. Instead of knocking yourself down about masturbation, walk with your head held high that BH you have passed nisayon after nisayon regarding shmiras einaim, unsafe devices, etc.!! You have kept your gedarim in a way that other bochurim can only wish for.  Especially since enough wise people have "diagnosed" that at this stage, the masturbation is an anxiety issue, more than it being a kedusha issue, let yourself live! Iyh the day will come that you will have more menuchas hanefesh, and then the masturbation will b'ezras Hashem stop too. And it will stop to the extent that even if once in a while you will experience severe stress, you will iyh stay clean.

Amen, thank you.
I will admit though that I have not been perfect in not using devices.
There were a bunch of times when I almost used the computer for shmutz but then remembered the deal.
But yesterday in the morning I forgot the deal and went on YouTube for abit.
I think that constitutes violating the deal and will bezras Hashem pay the knas when I can.
Unless you think differently, but I feel I did violate it.
Last Edit: 24 May 2021 22:26 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 May 2021 02:13 #368956

  • Hashem Help Me
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Let's discuss that off the forum.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 May 2021 05:24 #368960

  • YeshivaGuy
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A very big win just now, Baruch HaShem.
Trying to fall asleep now and return to Yeshiva in the morning on a high, B’ezras HaShem.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 May 2021 10:42 #368963

Please share it, it you have time before you leave for Yeshiva

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 25 May 2021 11:03 #368964

  • YeshivaGuy
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Looking_to_improve wrote on 25 May 2021 10:42:
Please share it, it you have time before you leave for Yeshiva

Started the “Masterbating process,” but pulled back somehow. Bh. Leaving soon to Yeshiva, will be bkesher

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 11 Jun 2021 02:32 #369752

  • HappyYid
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R' YeshivaGuy, how are you doing these days? 
Feel free to contact me happyyid613@gmail.com
My thread

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 11 Jun 2021 03:13 #369758

  • YeshivaGuy
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Thanks for checking in.
Baruch HaShem I am 11 days clean.
Taking it day by day.
I just got home now for some appointments and should be heading back Tuesday morning.

I made a deal with my friend that if I’m clean over these days we’ll go out to dinner.
That kinda deal worked to get me to a week bh.

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 13 Jun 2021 17:09 #369806

  • YeshivaGuy
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Doing well bh with Kedusha inyanim.
Was computer in my room last night thought bout being nichshal but decided no and moved it out.
A lot going on in other inyanim but not going to discuss that now.
Hatzlochq

Re: Make it to Yeshiva 14 Jun 2021 03:27 #369830

  • YeshivaGuy
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Was clean for 14 days.
Went to mall with family and was nichshal a lot in Shmiras Eynayim…
Held back again tonight from computer.
But after a big fight in bed now, just masterbated.

These last 14 days showed me that I can still be matzliach in this inyan.
I will now aim for 21 days B’ezras HaShem.

Gn
Last Edit: 14 Jun 2021 03:32 by YeshivaGuy.
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