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"Just regular movies "
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TOPIC: "Just regular movies " 10059 Views

Re: "Just regular movies " 31 Mar 2021 23:35 #366226

will do. want to shmuz w someone?
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Feel free to contact me at evedhashem1836@gmail.com

Re: "Just regular movies " 31 Mar 2021 23:46 #366227

  • eyes
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you want to call me, ill speak anytime.

Re: "Just regular movies " 01 Apr 2021 05:32 #366233

  • Lou
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Grant400 wrote on 31 Mar 2021 23:27:
Today, and right now is one of the hardest moments I've had since joining GYE. Pray for me. 

I don't know when this was posted exactly.... We feel your pain,brother! Stay strong as we really need you as a role model. Not just saying that. You didn't elaborate much on the issue so can't really comment on it,but please remember that you do have the ability to get through this!
I also had a moment of weakness yesterday. I convinced myself that I really deserve and need some of my old garbage to view and watch and relax for a while. I was able to work through it by telling myself that it is true that I deserve it,however perhaps after the challenging day I had ,I also deserve to eat my favorite pretzels(for those viewing this at a later date it is Pesach now).I decided I have to view the garbage as Chametz. Just like I wouldn't dream of grabbing a bag of pretzels because I am really craving it,the same applies to this. BH that worked wonders!Hatzlocha,
Achecha,
Lou

Re: "Just regular movies " 01 Apr 2021 08:32 #366237

  • Zedj
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Dear grant,
How are you doing?

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: "Just regular movies " 01 Apr 2021 11:59 #366241

  • Grant400
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Thank you all for the chizuk, offers and concern. BH I'm clean. But yesterday was gruesome. The 3 day yom tov was hard but hands are always tied then so it makes it easier. Yesterday was a build up. I refused to give in. What will today bring? I hope a lessening of urges and a refreshment in understanding the true toxicity of giving in and being a swine. I know that eventually I will feel different. Just gotta wait till then. I will update iyh.

Re: "Just regular movies " 02 Apr 2021 18:37 #366300

  • Grant400
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Was looking at technically ok stuff. Mixed in were not good stuff. Sort of quickly swiped past it but should've not started, or at least stopped right away when I saw it. Unfortunately it took me a few minutes. Didn't focus on the bad stuff really but it isn't something I want. I added the "ok" stuff to my taphsic. 

Re: "Just regular movies " 02 Apr 2021 19:48 #366304

  • Grant400
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Here is what I'm thinking. Technically according to my rules, I can still click I'm still clean. Here's the catch, until recently I have been pristine. In all areas. Last week, after what happened although I didn't judge it as a fall, it ruined that. For me most of my streak, it wasn't a day-to-day battle. I had a concept in my head I do not do this at all. This remove the battle from being a reality almost like keeping Sabbath. Now after having expose myself to improper images, it whet my appetite on a practical level and made it a minute by minute battle. I've been white knuckling ever since and emailing my Filter Company to keep deleting apps and removing sites.. Unfortunately today I tried to have them remive a site, but they couldn't do it even though I requested it twice. That was the site mentioned above.

As I posted above I was looking at okay things, although between me and you it was stupid of me, and I saw terrible images mixed in. What I feel I need to do is completely restart my count. Although technically according to the rules I didn't have a fall, according to where I was hoping to be I had a fall.

It seems to me that the only way to continue living life is by starting over fresh. A brand new start of being clean in all areas. No more half-measures and excuses about certain things falling on their permitted categories. From now on I restart my account without using it as an excuse to get my fill. My fill is only of kedusha and loyalty to my religion, family and most of all my wife.

I want to hit "rock bottom" while still "on top". I pray this helps. The urges are tremendous. I hope I will make it to Yom Tov clean, and after starting a few day streak it will go back to the way it was. Not constantly on my mind.

Goodbye 172.

Ah gut yom tov!
Last Edit: 02 Apr 2021 20:33 by Grant400.

Re: "Just regular movies " 05 Apr 2021 13:54 #366344

  • DavidT
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Grant400 wrote on 02 Apr 2021 19:48:


Goodbye 172.



Hi Grant 
Sorry but I disagree with Goodbye 172
Your clean days are yours to keep for ever! 
The counting is not like sefiras haomer... It's just a tool to help us grow, but Hashem has a different counting tool... (getting up after the falls, is the greatest form of teshuva and it erases the falls) the clean days count just keeps on accumulating.  (this is based on the teaching of sefer tomer devorah) 
Please continue to keep us inspired!
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 05 Apr 2021 14:17 by DavidT.

Re: "Just regular movies " 25 Apr 2021 15:16 #367375

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Where is Grant??????

Re: "Just regular movies " 14 Jun 2021 21:33 #369877

  • Grant400
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Hey guys just a quick update. I had a shaky period recently. I acted out. Fought my way back up B"H. Thanks to many people, especially HHM and Sapy, I feel like I'm on safer ground now. Let's roll!

Re: "Just regular movies " 29 Jun 2021 00:20 #370308

  • Grant400
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I think I might pass out from sheer desire. My head is pounding.

I've read in a few places that urges only last a few minutes, at most up to 20 minutes. Not by me. It can last for days with incredible physical symptoms.

How much longer am I expected to hold out?!?

Re: "Just regular movies " 29 Jun 2021 00:46 #370310

  • Markz
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Grant400 wrote on 29 Jun 2021 00:20:

I think I might pass out from sheer desire. My head is pounding.

I've read in a few places that urges only last a few minutes, at most up to 20 minutes. Not by me. It can last for days with incredible physical symptoms.

How much longer am I expected to hold out?!?


1 more minute 
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Re: "Just regular movies " 29 Jun 2021 00:47 #370311

  • Grant400
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Markz wrote on 29 Jun 2021 00:46:

Grant400 wrote on 29 Jun 2021 00:20:

I think I might pass out from sheer desire. My head is pounding.

I've read in a few places that urges only last a few minutes, at most up to 20 minutes. Not by me. It can last for days with incredible physical symptoms.

How much longer am I expected to hold out?!?


1 more minute 

It's not even desire to act out that is driving me. It's just that I can't bear the pain of not acting out anymore. 

It's only a matter of time...
Last Edit: 29 Jun 2021 00:52 by Grant400.

Re: "Just regular movies " 29 Jun 2021 01:19 #370314

  • OivedElokim
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I wish I had some way I could help...
Stay strong. 
If speaking to someone would help I’m available. Pm me for my number.
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
My old thread
My current thread 

Re: "Just regular movies " 29 Jun 2021 02:44 #370318

  • Markz
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Grant400 wrote on 29 Jun 2021 00:47:

Markz wrote on 29 Jun 2021 00:46:

Grant400 wrote on 29 Jun 2021 00:20:

I think I might pass out from sheer desire. My head is pounding.

I've read in a few places that urges only last a few minutes, at most up to 20 minutes. Not by me. It can last for days with incredible physical symptoms.

How much longer am I expected to hold out?!?


1 more minute 

It's not even desire to act out that is driving me. It's just that I can't bear the pain of not acting out anymore. 

It's only a matter of time...

Ok, so people fall...
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Then they get up and make resolutions. 

What would yours be loo/lee yetzooyer/yetzeer you’d fall?

Meanwhile while you’re thinking about this, please PM me
My Story---------Dov Quotes




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
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100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 29 Jun 2021 03:34 by Markz.
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