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Wake Sleepy up!
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TOPIC: Wake Sleepy up! 15686 Views

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 13:54 #343756

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cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 12:53:
Like usual, just writin' for myself, and somethin' I have written many times here:

Impo, one shouldn't hate 'em, bless 'em, blame 'em, fault 'em, pray for them, despise them, etc.

The moment the issue becomes about them (or 'em), you have lost.

It is about you/me. (And it might not be your fault either, but one that, dependin' on the situation, you might wanna remedy in some way, or not.)

Godspeed

if what you are saying is a DIFFERENT tactic ,i could try to understand(to be honest im not clear on what you want to say ,maybe you can send me a link to where you discussed this ),but if your explaining the bless THEM tactic ,then i dont understand , it sounds like bless them but not them, sorry my denseness, i think im trying to be opened minded.
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 14:18 #343757

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once i see  a prutza , i dont want to do a kum v'aseh to continue thinking about them and blessing them or blessing,i just want to distract and sometimes the simmering of resentment which i feel i am entitled to, distracts,and takes away my guilt for experiencing that forbidden pleasure which that guilt will shlep me to other peeks,for example"sleepy , admit it, you enjoyed it, if you were the way you should be you would feel a feeling of disgust of how someone dresses that way,hmm ,maybe there is another show around the corner...
but if i go with the above mentioned attitude and live with the reality in what i live in ill be more on guard , because to bless someone sends ME a message of  relax your guard .
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 14:33 #343759

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i hope my  posts are clear ,im not great in articulating my feelings,one more thing  is i was taught if someone trys to shoot you in this case your Neshama , the way to be protected from their influence is to shoot first and be mevatel them,because every pritzus we see ,IS influencing us to be accepting their way of life because like the Rambam says , a man is influenced by his surroundings, if you witness chilul Shabbos , you HAVE been influenced, if you see a shooting , murder,even on the screen , you HAVE been influenced,if you see pritzus  you ARE being influenced , the ideal of tznius and proper living have been under attack , maybe only small chips have fallen , but pruta lpruta mitztarefes(or prutza lprutza)and to guard your heart you need to shoot and blessing will not do the job, at least for me,and for me to bless  is in a way accepting an unacceptable thing,unless its a blessing that they should repent, but blessing them with a good day doesnt seem helpful to me , if they c"v spit at a shul, would anyone recommend blessing them?
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
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Last Edit: 24 Sep 2019 14:39 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 15:01 #343761

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cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 12:53:
Like usual, just writin' for myself, and somethin' I have written many times here:

Impo, one shouldn't hate 'em, bless 'em, blame 'em, fault 'em, pray for them, despise them, etc.

The moment the issue becomes about them (or 'em), you have lost.

It is about you/me. (And it might not be your fault either, but one that, dependin' on the situation, you might wanna remedy in some way, or not.)

Godspeed

I don't think I could've been clearer, but I'll try again.

If you focus on her, you lost.

If you focus on you, you have a chance.

Godspeed!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 15:13 #343763

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cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 15:01:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 12:53:
Like usual, just writin' for myself, and somethin' I have written many times here:

Impo, one shouldn't hate 'em, bless 'em, blame 'em, fault 'em, pray for them, despise them, etc.

The moment the issue becomes about them (or 'em), you have lost.

It is about you/me. (And it might not be your fault either, but one that, dependin' on the situation, you might wanna remedy in some way, or not.)

Godspeed

I don't think I could've been clearer, but I'll try again.

If you focus on her, you lost.

If you focus on you, you have a chance.

Godspeed!

 pirush lipirusho anyone(if cordnoy is busy)? what does   focus on her
, focus on yourself mean?
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com
Last Edit: 24 Sep 2019 15:15 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 15:46 #343764

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Sleepy my friend...... There is so much to respond to that I'm overwhelmed. First of all, I think that HHM wrote it beautifully. They may well be p'ritzas, and they may well have to answer to Hashem, but they don't have to answer to sg. For years I've judged people in my mind (I still do) and I've come out with a verdict and signed and sealed their fate, but in order for me to do that, I need to have a mindset that I am a power greater then them. Really I'm not. The Torah is a power greater then them, and that's why I wrote that they may have to answer to Hashem, but when I judge I'm assuming the Role of Hashem. Now certainly the Torah has informed me that pritzus behavior is despicable and I should avoid it at all costs, but the Torah did Not tell me to be in charge of that other person who's not dressing fully. By resenting Them, I'm saying that they should cater to me, they're not and that hurts me - result, I get hurt. By judgeing their behavior I'm not thinking about them, I'm rather think about myself and how I can be better - result, I get better.


One other point, you wrote a lot about guilt. I don't think that that guilt has any part in "that mindset" of which you spoke. When I say that the problem is me, I'm not saying that I'm a bad person, what I am saying is that the solution is found in me as well.

If the problem is that other guy/girl, I'll never get better until they correct their problems, but if the problem is in me, I can work on myself and forget the shoushan about them.
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Last Edit: 24 Sep 2019 15:51 by stillgoing.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 15:58 #343765

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i think im saying that anyone who dresses in the emperors clothing is not getting a compliment from me,or a blessing(tischadesh)
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com
Last Edit: 24 Sep 2019 16:00 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:07 #343766

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to give an extreme example, does anyone suggest not to be judgemental on hitler ym"s(now please water it down to the severity of a woman dressing digusting)i dont think my problem is because of focusing on her or judgeing her,and my problem ,i dont feel , will be solved by seeing no evil
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:15 #343767

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and if seeing no evil works for some, i dont think blessing her will add to the cause for me at least,as we saw a recent quote from Rabbi miller ztl regarding such people they are acting like animals,beheimos,and thinking it over i think that is a mindset that works for me ,not the "focus that shes (acting like )a person and gets a blessing," that is like saying the emperors clothing is nice 
the sotahs korban cosists of animal food since she did  a maaseh animal, im not advocating throwing biscuts at anyone but lets call a spade a spade
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:16 #343768

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sleepy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 15:58:
i think im saying that anyone who dresses in the emperors clothing is not getting a complimentfrom u me,or a blessing(tischadesh)

You may do as you wish. I would not compliment their clothes (or lack thereof) either. I don't see the harm in blessing a tzelem Elokim who had meant me no harm though. I Davin that they find the sensitivity to live their life in a clean productive way.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:16 #343769

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God Almighty!

Focus on her = bless her, despise, blame, fault, ignore, prayer for her, look, ogle, disgust, curse her, look again

Focus on you = pray for yourself, mindfulness, realize the moment, breathe, count whiskey sours, repent, breathe again, realize you are flawed, practice the steps

God Almighty!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:30 #343770

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stillgoing wrote on 24 Sep 2019 16:16:

sleepy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 15:58:
i think im saying that anyone who dresses in the emperors clothing is not getting a compliment from  me,or a blessing(tischadesh)

You may do as you wish. I would not compliment their clothes (or lack thereof) either. I don't see the harm in blessing a tzelem Elokim who had meant me no harm though. I Davin that they find the sensitivity to live their life in a clean productive way.

i didnt say that its not a beuatiful thing to do, but it wont make my lust go away
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:32 #343771

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sleepy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 16:07:
to give an extreme example, does anyone suggest not to be judgemental on hitler ym"s(now please water it down to the severity of a woman dressing digusting)i dont think my problem is because of focusing on her or judgeing her,and my problem ,i dont feel , will be solved by seeing no evil

Hitler ym’s was a murderer which was a no no from day 1. 

Clothing however is a totally relative.
Often what is modest in location a, is not in other places. 

Lets take it further.
Adam & Chava only needed to cover themselves after eating from the Etz Hada’as. 

So it would seems that the optimal lifestyle is where everyone should be walking around bare, and I’m sure you - as I, hope for Mashiach where we will return to the pristine levels of Adam & Chava before the sin במהרה בימינו אמן!
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 16:35 #343772

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cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 16:16:
God Almighty!

Focus on her = bless her, despise, blame, fault, ignore, prayer for her, look, ogle, disgust, curse her, look again

Focus on you = pray for yourself, mindfulness, realize the moment, breathe, count whiskey sours, repent, breathe again, realize you are flawed, practice the steps

God Almighty!

my complaint was on the" blessing her "tactic doesnt hold water, and from what i understand you dont go for it either, baruch shekivanti(although i have to work on the not  despising her part )
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 24 Sep 2019 17:07 #343773

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(although i have to work on the not  despising her part )
since i ,from experience have felt it evaporate my lust , of course with some type of distraction a good shiur etc,i was not advocating walking home the next 20 min .thinking how disgusting she was dressed etc because then im wrestling with a muddy person and am bound to get mud on myself, but to just jump to the distraction without at all  making a mental opinion,disgusting,rashanta,prutza,first,i then am left with a remaining chip and dent in my feeling for tznius and as mentioned , prutza liprutza mitztarefes,and what can happen, ill go to times square c"v?no, but what could happen is , my wife will ask my opinion on clothing if i feel its too tight etc,loud etc, and after being banged up by the ideology of the street ill cave in and say mentaly, what the heck, its ok,but with the opinion of thats pritzus(mentaly to the woman of the street) ill protect my values
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Feel free to email me at
wakesleepyup@mail.com
Last Edit: 24 Sep 2019 17:10 by sleepy.
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