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Wake Sleepy up!
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TOPIC: Wake Sleepy up! 9737 Views

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 07 Oct 2019 16:48 #344083

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Tzvi5 wrote on 07 Oct 2019 12:59:
Perhaps you can look at addiction as continuing to "drink" as he's not yet ready to exert himself. In other words even if for many times he continued, that's still no proof he can't stop the drinking. (No proof what aa. Defines as addict exists)

My point is that while one is "drinking" he could abruptly stop. and if he didn't until now, that's not proof he can't.

The reason I'm saying this is: that a person shouldn't give up hope on himself. (Ie: he can change on his own)

(He need not admit powerlessness nor submit to a higher power)

And many people with this mindset (me bein' one of them for a while), remain permanently drunk.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 07 Oct 2019 19:05 #344087

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 27 Sep 2019 11:31:

cordnoy wrote on 26 Sep 2019 12:17:
Dov told me in a voice note that he has found (from his thousands of conversations with guys over the years) that those who scream "prutzos" & "zonos" from the rooftops or Times square or Kikkar Shabbos are actually people who "get off" on sex and fantasy with the lowest of the filth. Those who dehumanize the scantily dressed passerby or the porn actress have been found to be those who crave engagin' in sex with silicon dolls. They need this justification, for otherwise, there is nobody around for them to share a bed with.

Of course, there are other explanations, but this is a plausible one.

There is tremendous truth in what you quote. Of course there may be exceptions but many times the guys who are so busy noticing pritzus and being busy with it are those who are unfortunately struggling deeply with these issues. They don't realize what they are doing. They are actually fanning the flames of taivah/addiction and constantly exposing themselves to triggering scenes. Their subconscious is playing an evil trick on them. There is a second group of people who are wallowing in terrible feelings of yi'ush and guilt and are not yet ready to reach out for help. Usually these are perfectionists who have to appear to their families and friends as tzaddikim in all areas. To help assuage their tormenting emotions, they are "lochem milchemes Hashem" against the ruach ha'tumah etc. (And then they go home and with a total loss of control act out big time...) As stated in the beginning, there are of course truly ehrliche yidden who are well adjusted, healthy and clean who want to help protect our communities, but it appears this group is the smallest of the three mentioned.

with all due respect in regards to the bold words...um...how do you assume that? in what way does it ''appear''?? do you have statistics? does dov even KNOW that? unless thousands is literal and it really matches up in terms of the numbers....sorry this just smacks of generalization and requires a thorough knowledge of many factors wherever these demonstrations take place (one of them being a real survey which i doubt there is).
way too late to comment on this one, excuse me...
Last Edit: 07 Oct 2019 19:09 by higher.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 07 Oct 2019 19:18 #344089

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cordnoy wrote on 07 Oct 2019 16:48:

Tzvi5 wrote on 07 Oct 2019 12:59:
Perhaps you can look at addiction as continuing to "drink" as he's not yet ready to exert himself. In other words even if for many times he continued, that's still no proof he can't stop the drinking. (No proof what aa. Defines as addict exists)

My point is that while one is "drinking" he could abruptly stop. and if he didn't until now, that's not proof he can't.

The reason I'm saying this is: that a person shouldn't give up hope on himself. (Ie: he can change on his own)

(He need not admit powerlessness nor submit to a higher power)

And many people with this mindset (me bein' one of them for a while), remain permanently drunk.

Sad, but doesnt prove you cant change by yourself.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 08 Oct 2019 00:01 #344092

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higher wrote on 07 Oct 2019 19:05:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 27 Sep 2019 11:31:

cordnoy wrote on 26 Sep 2019 12:17:
Dov told me in a voice note that he has found (from his thousands of conversations with guys over the years) that those who scream "prutzos" & "zonos" from the rooftops or Times square or Kikkar Shabbos are actually people who "get off" on sex and fantasy with the lowest of the filth. Those who dehumanize the scantily dressed passerby or the porn actress have been found to be those who crave engagin' in sex with silicon dolls. They need this justification, for otherwise, there is nobody around for them to share a bed with.

Of course, there are other explanations, but this is a plausible one.

There is tremendous truth in what you quote. Of course there may be exceptions but many times the guys who are so busy noticing pritzus and being busy with it are those who are unfortunately struggling deeply with these issues. They don't realize what they are doing. They are actually fanning the flames of taivah/addiction and constantly exposing themselves to triggering scenes. Their subconscious is playing an evil trick on them. There is a second group of people who are wallowing in terrible feelings of yi'ush and guilt and are not yet ready to reach out for help. Usually these are perfectionists who have to appear to their families and friends as tzaddikim in all areas. To help assuage their tormenting emotions, they are "lochem milchemes Hashem" against the ruach ha'tumah etc. (And then they go home and with a total loss of control act out big time...) As stated in the beginning, there are of course truly ehrliche yidden who are well adjusted, healthy and clean who want to help protect our communities, but it appears this group is the smallest of the three mentioned.

with all due respect in regards to the bold words...um...how do you assume that? in what way does it ''appear''?? do you have statistics? does dov even KNOW that? unless thousands is literal and it really matches up in terms of the numbers....sorry this just smacks of generalization and requires a thorough knowledge of many factors wherever these demonstrations take place (one of them being a real survey which i doubt there is).
way too late to comment on this one, excuse me...

My statistics are based on interactions I have had with those who have "led the fight". Being an involved community person, that means a nice amount of people. I also have heard this comment from others who I respect. However your point is well taken. I should not generalize and apply a statistic based on a cross section of my community to the greater population.
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 08 Oct 2019 00:04 #344093

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lionking wrote on 07 Oct 2019 12:49:
We might be all confused. Two points to consider.
1: I don't think Cord suspected anything of you. It sounded like a very broad statement.

2: Even the lowest of the lowest, has the potential to be Greater than R Chaim.

wow! thanks for the bomb chizuk lion king! a gemar chasima tova!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 08 Oct 2019 00:08 #344094

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Tzvi5 wrote on 07 Oct 2019 12:59:
Perhaps you can look at addiction as continuing to "drink" as he's not yet ready to exert himself. In other words even if for many times he continued, that's still no proof he can't stop the drinking. (No proof what aa. Defines as addict exists)

My point is that while one is "drinking" he could abruptly stop. and if he didn't until now, that's not proof he can't.

The reason I'm saying this is: that a person shouldn't give up hope on himself. (Ie: he can change on his own)

(He need not admit powerlessness nor submit to a higher power)

im sorry but i dont get what it has to do with my rhyme(im so confused )
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 08 Oct 2019 00:37 #344102

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cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 18:08:

sleepy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 06:51:
thank you R 'Hhm ,from reading your enlightening posts i see how opended minded you are, and therefore do not hesitate to reply and say as nice as it sounds,by me it doesnt /wont work,one of the things that cause me a tzar when i see a truly pritzadiga woman is she is flaunting in my eyes something that i desire and due to my values-religious/moral, cant have,and therefore i MENTALLY despise her for the pain that she is giving me(those who dont have these values gawk at her without restraint and enjoy the show,maybe they even whistle)and for someone who can  bless is  great in MY eyes,but to expect a blessing from me with the attitude,bless her because this that your lusting her and experiencing a discomfort is not HER fault , but YOUR fault for for having bad attitudes,and youre such a low person for not seeing the "person"etc,i think is not realistic, for me at least,i dont know who made up this tactic is (and if it works for some people ,hey,go for it!)but could be blessing and prayer are cheap things anyway which dont mean anything(i dont mean you at all c"v,)so bless them and as your blessing them imagine them in your mind so you should know who your blessing and enjoy that quick fanatsizing of a second, and could be thats why the lust goes away because as one is blessing and picturing them at least they got a mental peek.while if someone who who thinks the way i explained doesnt allow one second of the picture to enter , not one peek,and if a thought creeps in, well thats like the purple elephant that one should not think of,which is not his fault.
in a nut shell , if what i wrote makes sense, i dont think anyone will expect anyone to pray for a molester  who ruined someones life even though it may remove resentment from his heart, and the same thing would be in the case of the women mentioned above,and again, anyone who defends them and says ,think to yourselves  they dont mean anything, they just want fresh cool air,you are the one who is making such an issue with your lusting mindset ,i dont think is a realistic approach.
wouldnt it be a  wonderful thing to look at inappropiate women in the streets  or the screen and pray for them?   i think that person would be fooling himself ( again R' Hhm, i dont mean you in any of the ab)

Mr. Sleepy, Dov wants to know if the mechaber of this post masturbates. What should I tell him?

may i ask you why he wanted to know that?
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 08 Oct 2019 00:38 #344103

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cordnoy wrote on 07 Oct 2019 16:48:

Tzvi5 wrote on 07 Oct 2019 12:59:
Perhaps you can look at addiction as continuing to "drink" as he's not yet ready to exert himself. In other words even if for many times he continued, that's still no proof he can't stop the drinking. (No proof what aa. Defines as addict exists)

My point is that while one is "drinking" he could abruptly stop. and if he didn't until now, that's not proof he can't.

The reason I'm saying this is: that a person shouldn't give up hope on himself. (Ie: he can change on his own)

(He need not admit powerlessness nor submit to a higher power)

And many people with this mindset (me bein' one of them for a while), remain permanently drunk.

 (i.s.c.)
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 08 Oct 2019 00:39 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 08 Oct 2019 04:25 #344108

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sleepy wrote on 08 Oct 2019 00:37:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 18:08:

sleepy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 06:51:
thank you R 'Hhm ,from reading your enlightening posts i see how opended minded you are, and therefore do not hesitate to reply and say as nice as it sounds,by me it doesnt /wont work,one of the things that cause me a tzar when i see a truly pritzadiga woman is she is flaunting in my eyes something that i desire and due to my values-religious/moral, cant have,and therefore i MENTALLY despise her for the pain that she is giving me(those who dont have these values gawk at her without restraint and enjoy the show,maybe they even whistle)and for someone who can  bless is  great in MY eyes,but to expect a blessing from me with the attitude,bless her because this that your lusting her and experiencing a discomfort is not HER fault , but YOUR fault for for having bad attitudes,and youre such a low person for not seeing the "person"etc,i think is not realistic, for me at least,i dont know who made up this tactic is (and if it works for some people ,hey,go for it!)but could be blessing and prayer are cheap things anyway which dont mean anything(i dont mean you at all c"v,)so bless them and as your blessing them imagine them in your mind so you should know who your blessing and enjoy that quick fanatsizing of a second, and could be thats why the lust goes away because as one is blessing and picturing them at least they got a mental peek.while if someone who who thinks the way i explained doesnt allow one second of the picture to enter , not one peek,and if a thought creeps in, well thats like the purple elephant that one should not think of,which is not his fault.
in a nut shell , if what i wrote makes sense, i dont think anyone will expect anyone to pray for a molester  who ruined someones life even though it may remove resentment from his heart, and the same thing would be in the case of the women mentioned above,and again, anyone who defends them and says ,think to yourselves  they dont mean anything, they just want fresh cool air,you are the one who is making such an issue with your lusting mindset ,i dont think is a realistic approach.
wouldnt it be a  wonderful thing to look at inappropiate women in the streets  or the screen and pray for them?   i think that person would be fooling himself ( again R' Hhm, i dont mean you in any of the ab)

Mr. Sleepy, Dov wants to know if the mechaber of this post masturbates. What should I tell him?

may i ask you why he wanted to know that?

I'm sorry, you'll need to ask him that question; I should not have interjected Dov's thoughts/words into the conversation. Truth is, at the time, he was thinkin' of respondin' (& I thought he'd follow up), but for some reason,  he decided not to.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 18 Oct 2019 17:35 #344266

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cordnoy wrote on 26 Sep 2019 12:17:
 those who crave engagin' in sex with silicon dolls. They need this justification, for otherwise, there is nobody around for them to share a bed with.

Of course, there are other explanations, but this is a plausible one.

why is there no mention of silicon dolls in tefilas zaka?
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 18 Oct 2019 17:37 #344267

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cordnoy wrote on 08 Oct 2019 04:25:

sleepy wrote on 08 Oct 2019 00:37:

cordnoy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 18:08:

sleepy wrote on 24 Sep 2019 06:51:
thank you R 'Hhm ,from reading your enlightening posts i see how opended minded you are, and therefore do not hesitate to reply and say as nice as it sounds,by me it doesnt /wont work,one of the things that cause me a tzar when i see a truly pritzadiga woman is she is flaunting in my eyes something that i desire and due to my values-religious/moral, cant have,and therefore i MENTALLY despise her for the pain that she is giving me(those who dont have these values gawk at her without restraint and enjoy the show,maybe they even whistle)and for someone who can  bless is  great in MY eyes,but to expect a blessing from me with the attitude,bless her because this that your lusting her and experiencing a discomfort is not HER fault , but YOUR fault for for having bad attitudes,and youre such a low person for not seeing the "person"etc,i think is not realistic, for me at least,i dont know who made up this tactic is (and if it works for some people ,hey,go for it!)but could be blessing and prayer are cheap things anyway which dont mean anything(i dont mean you at all c"v,)so bless them and as your blessing them imagine them in your mind so you should know who your blessing and enjoy that quick fanatsizing of a second, and could be thats why the lust goes away because as one is blessing and picturing them at least they got a mental peek.while if someone who who thinks the way i explained doesnt allow one second of the picture to enter , not one peek,and if a thought creeps in, well thats like the purple elephant that one should not think of,which is not his fault.
in a nut shell , if what i wrote makes sense, i dont think anyone will expect anyone to pray for a molester  who ruined someones life even though it may remove resentment from his heart, and the same thing would be in the case of the women mentioned above,and again, anyone who defends them and says ,think to yourselves  they dont mean anything, they just want fresh cool air,you are the one who is making such an issue with your lusting mindset ,i dont think is a realistic approach.
wouldnt it be a  wonderful thing to look at inappropiate women in the streets  or the screen and pray for them?   i think that person would be fooling himself ( again R' Hhm, i dont mean you in any of the ab)

Mr. Sleepy, Dov wants to know if the mechaber of this post masturbates. What should I tell him?

may i ask you why he wanted to know that?

I'm sorry, you'll need to ask him that question; I should not have interjected Dov's thoughts/words into the conversation. Truth is, at the time, he was thinkin' of respondin' (& I thought he'd follow up), but for some reason,  he decided not to.

mr.C., i have a good idea , next time you want to ask me a personal(embarrising) question  on a public forum  that will not lead anywhere , just say dov wants to know...
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 24 Oct 2019 07:52 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 29 Oct 2019 05:55 #344636

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i really feel bad writing this, but maybe a toeles will come from this, ive had bad experience with reading dovs quotes,notes.and i said no more reading his things, well last night i gave it another try for almost an hour going through his posts , and unfortunately i came out of it with the same decision,dov is not for me , i gave it a try.simply said ,its not for me, and i am jealous of those who have been touched by dov and whose lives have been turned around,he no speaka my language or i dont speak his. maybe someone here could , untwist my brain or something.but as of now , the track that i was going on  is what ill have to humbly travel on ,and Hashem ya'azor
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 29 Oct 2019 05:57 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 29 Oct 2019 09:23 #344638

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of course if the above post falls into the category of breaking gye rules, which is not the intention of this poster, i understand if the board of moderators feel the post should be deleted, i have no complaints,all i can say is that i made a mistake and i am sorry.
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 29 Oct 2019 09:25 by sleepy.

Re: Wake Sleepy up! 29 Oct 2019 14:02 #344643

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sleepy wrote on 29 Oct 2019 05:55:
i really feel bad writing this, but maybe a toeles will come from this, ive had bad experience with reading dovs quotes,notes.and i said no more reading his things, well last night i gave it another try for almost an hour going through his posts , and unfortunately i came out of it with the same decision,dov is not for me , i gave it a try.simply said ,its not for me, and i am jealous of those who have been touched by dov and whose lives have been turned around,he no speaka my language or i dont speak his. maybe someone here could , untwist my brain or something.but as of now , the track that i was going on  is what ill have to humbly travel on ,and Hashem ya'azor

No need to be jealous. 
I can assure you that Dov is not on his high horse and is perfectly fine with whatever is thrown at him. 

It was just too general what you wrote.
Mind to share 1 or 2 things that Dov says, which don’t sit well with you? 
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Re: Wake Sleepy up! 29 Oct 2019 14:16 #344644

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sounds like sleepy is trying to lure Dov back to the forum ( for a while now) Helevai we should be so lucky , but unfortunately I don't think he will take the bait..
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