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Hello after many years
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TOPIC: Hello after many years 4147 Views

Re: Hello after many years 09 Nov 2018 00:50 #337105

  • cordnoy
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Not that anyone cares or should care, but I disagree.

Porn is art. It is beautiful. The art of seduction. The beauty of intimacy.

Porn is desire. It is secrecy. The desire of the unknown. The secrecy behind the locked door.

Porn is sexy. It is captivatin'. The sexiness of the forbidden. Slow, built-up captivation.

Porn is pleasure. It is godly. Pleasin' pleasure. Godly curves and slants.

Porn is also time-wastin', life-killin', marriage-bustin', bedroom-deceivin', but I love it anyway. Sadly, I need to stay away, for I got a life to live.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
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GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 09 Nov 2018 00:52 by cordnoy.

Re: Hello after many years 09 Nov 2018 02:08 #337107

  • mzl
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cordnoy wrote on 09 Nov 2018 00:50:
Not that anyone cares or should care, but I disagree.

Porn is art. It is beautiful. The art of seduction. The beauty of intimacy.

Porn is desire. It is secrecy. The desire of the unknown. The secrecy behind the locked door.

Porn is sexy. It is captivatin'. The sexiness of the forbidden. Slow, built-up captivation.

Porn is pleasure. It is godly. Pleasin' pleasure. Godly curves and slants.

Porn is also time-wastin', life-killin', marriage-bustin', bedroom-deceivin', but I love it anyway. Sadly, I need to stay away, for I got a life to live.

Yasher koach

Re: Hello after many years 09 Nov 2018 04:45 #337109

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Think what Stronger is referring to is the underbelly of the porn industry which is not exactly made of regular people enjoying some extra cash for some romantic or artistic endeavors. The typical girl involved has been scarred, taking drugs, often in an economically weak position, and often has gone thru a lot of terrible experiences. As I mentioned on the suggestion page, thinking of the woman as a person is very helpful (and just a nice thing to do). Think of a nice Frum girl who starts dressing more untznius and hanging with boys. Why does that happen? Usually they are emotionally damaged, have faced issues. Now al aches kama v’kama a girl who is being paid to be abused (once you get married you know no mentally healthy woman is interested in such activity) in camera who has lost that much respect. It starts making you sick. It’s like I really want to eat a delicious non-kosher steak, but I have to see the person maul the baby calf over the head. I’d still love a nice steak but that will definitely lessen my interest. Prostitution is as they say the oldest profession but the type of predatory behavior that many face in a very slimey and often illegal current environment including the porn industry. 

Re: Hello after many years 09 Nov 2018 11:11 #337113

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Calculator wrote on 09 Nov 2018 04:45:
Think what Stronger is referring to is the underbelly of the porn industry which is not exactly made of regular people enjoying some extra cash for some romantic or artistic endeavors. The typical girl involved has been scarred, taking drugs, often in an economically weak position, and often has gone thru a lot of terrible experiences. As I mentioned on the suggestion page, thinking of the woman as a person is very helpful (and just a nice thing to do). Think of a nice Frum girl who starts dressing more untznius and hanging with boys. Why does that happen? Usually they are emotionally damaged, have faced issues. Now al aches kama v’kama a girl who is being paid to be abused (once you get married you know no mentally healthy woman is interested in such activity) in camera who has lost that much respect. It starts making you sick. It’s like I really want to eat a delicious non-kosher steak, but I have to see the person maul the baby calf over the head. I’d still love a nice steak but that will definitely lessen my interest. Prostitution is as they say the oldest profession but the type of predatory behavior that many face in a very slimey and often illegal current environment including the porn industry. 

I think he was really arguing with that. He was just accepting the fact that with all that, he still craves the product of that very industry. He was saying that for the sake of his own sobriety.

Re: Hello after many years 11 Nov 2018 00:50 #337126

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definitely always a great thing to learn the self control route and not just avoiding .However from alot of experience is say that the self control route is extremely hard to start if it;s readily available in you;re house. Even if yiu have it in office ,there may be people around r you can distract yourself with work. As for convenience store availability, I'm not sure if your convenience store has a computer or you're referring to magazines etc...either way i get what you are saying that you an always try youre local library or computer store..but i do think that as available as that is (and ive tried most of it many times) it still doesn't come close to the availability in your own house when everyone is sleeping or out of the house.
Hatzlocha either way

Re: Hello after many years 11 Nov 2018 05:13 #337129

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Hi stronger welcome back 

Sounds like you have a conundrum: 
You need a computer with internet access
But...
Theres no filters or accountability software that can deter you. 
I would suggest a practical solution-set up a desktop in a very open area where people are around , no possibility of locked doors etc. that would go far to minimize the opportunity to view porn... 

hatzlacha!

Re: Hello after many years 11 Nov 2018 23:05 #337151

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I appreciate everyone's comments. I work with some non typical mobile devices that have access well - in a few years every appliance will probably have access too. I just don't know another way at this point other than self control (or more staying distracted). 

Re: Hello after many years 11 Nov 2018 23:10 #337152

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@derech yashar - do you know anyone on GYE that has done what I want to accomplish? I imagine there must be a way... in truth I have had access if I wanted for months, but I have only slipped a few times. I don't see why I should be able to stop when something is two clicks away vs one. 

Re: Hello after many years 11 Nov 2018 23:20 #337153

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I think guys like Cordnoy and Growstrong have found a way despite foolishly proofed filters
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Re: Hello after many years 12 Nov 2018 02:13 #337154

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i am not so familiar with everyone here. but for me what works is many fences and then working on getting to the root of issue to help when temporarily exposed. I do think though that the way to do it would be to get deep into all the articles of rabbi twerski and dr sorotzkin which i beleive help us address the root of what we're doing. Obviously being on here with the guys keeping track of you and especially if ypu get a direct partner/sponsor will be a huge help. lota of hatzlacha!

Re: Hello after many years 12 Nov 2018 17:55 #337175

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Markz wrote on 11 Nov 2018 23:20:
I think guys like Cordnoy and Growstrong have found a way despite foolishly proofed filters

Haven't been followin' the discussion well, but Cordnoy had some filters on some devices when he began recovery. In general, for him, it was somewhat counterproductive. True sobriety (which he still doesn't have) only happened/is happenin'/might happen without a filter. That being said, it is not a mehalech that I would advise for public consumption. Some individuals might be better off that way, but there are many factors.

Godspeed!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Hello after many years 12 Nov 2018 20:21 #337177

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cordnoy wrote on 12 Nov 2018 17:55:

Markz wrote on 11 Nov 2018 23:20:
I think guys like Cordnoy and Growstrong have found a way despite foolishly proofed filters

Haven't been followin' the discussion well, but Cordnoy had some filters on some devices when he began recovery. In general, for him, it was somewhat counterproductive. True sobriety (which he still doesn't have) only happened/is happenin'/might happen without a filter. That being said, it is not a mehalech that I would advise for public consumption. Some individuals might be better off that way, but there are many factors.

Godspeed!

Why is your sobriety not true yet?

Re: Hello after many years 12 Nov 2018 21:24 #337181

  • cordnoy
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mzl wrote on 12 Nov 2018 20:21:

cordnoy wrote on 12 Nov 2018 17:55:

Markz wrote on 11 Nov 2018 23:20:
I think guys like Cordnoy and Growstrong have found a way despite foolishly proofed filters

Haven't been followin' the discussion well, but Cordnoy had some filters on some devices when he began recovery. In general, for him, it was somewhat counterproductive. True sobriety (which he still doesn't have) only happened/is happenin'/might happen without a filter. That being said, it is not a mehalech that I would advise for public consumption. Some individuals might be better off that way, but there are many factors.

Godspeed!

Why is your sobriety not true yet?

Because I still lust, fantasize at times, constantly look at women in streets, and given the right opportunity (which sadly never shows up), I'd definitely have some fun in an elevator.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Hello after many years 12 Nov 2018 22:02 #337182

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cordnoy wrote on 12 Nov 2018 21:24:

mzl wrote on 12 Nov 2018 20:21:

cordnoy wrote on 12 Nov 2018 17:55:

Markz wrote on 11 Nov 2018 23:20:
I think guys like Cordnoy and Growstrong have found a way despite foolishly proofed filters

Haven't been followin' the discussion well, but Cordnoy had some filters on some devices when he began recovery. In general, for him, it was somewhat counterproductive. True sobriety (which he still doesn't have) only happened/is happenin'/might happen without a filter. That being said, it is not a mehalech that I would advise for public consumption. Some individuals might be better off that way, but there are many factors.

Godspeed!

Why is your sobriety not true yet?

Because I still lust, fantasize at times, constantly look at women in streets, and given the right opportunity (which sadly never shows up), I'd definitely have some fun in an elevator.

I would think that is true sobriety. In fact, I don't think you can even call it sobriety if you don't desire it any more.

Re: Hello after many years 13 Nov 2018 08:07 #337198

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This is line I came here for "True sobriety (which he still doesn't have) only happened/is happenin'/might happen without a filter." I always believed that I would only become sober with a filter, but I've realized that I have the capability to be sober without one. The filters are useless anyway for me, so I don't really have another option. 

"Because I still lust, fantasize at times, constantly look at women in streets, and given the right opportunity (which sadly never shows up), I'd definitely have some fun in an elevator." - This makes you human and I don't think it's something to suppress. If you see a pretty woman in the street our job is not to have not looked in the first place - it is to not stare and dwell on it. And there are reasons why Yichud still applies in a long enough elevator ride - anyone is susceptible to that temptation, and no one is considered "immune" from it. 
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