Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

A struggling bochur
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: A struggling bochur 56766 Views

Re: A struggling bochur 20 Aug 2019 02:35 #342945

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 87 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7211
  • Karma: 373
sG

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: A struggling bochur 20 Aug 2019 18:55 #342984

Yesterday I made a shvauh for a week because the urges to act out again once I fell anyways were too big, and bezh in a week the small momentum will give me Abit of a boost to continue.
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 20 Aug 2019 19:31 #342985

  • gyehelp2017
  • Current streak: 207 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 156
  • Karma: 8
Keep it up S&k, we are all praying for your success and following you along on your journey!!!!!

Re: A struggling bochur 20 Aug 2019 20:08 #342987

  • sleepy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 396
Shnitzel and kugel wrote on 20 Aug 2019 18:55:
Yesterday I made a shvauh for a week because the urges to act out again once I fell anyways were too big, and bezh in a week the small momentum will give me Abit of a boost to continue.

in the zechus of your "shavua", you should zoche to have "shavua"(sheva) berachos"with your intended when youre ripe and ready!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 20 Aug 2019 22:01 by sleepy.

Re: A struggling bochur 21 Aug 2019 13:16 #343009

Haha, thanks. I've got no idea when I'm ready, I keep backing in and out of shiduchim, cuz maybe I should wait,  now it's up to the one above;)

thanks gyehelp for your much needed encouragement!
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 26 Aug 2019 02:42 #343105

A quote from today's rambam..

ונמצא שוגה בה תמיד כאלו חולי האהבה  שאין דעתם פנויה מאהבת אותה אשה
Explain it how you understand it....
הל' תשובה פרק י הלכה ה
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 03:10 #343172

As Reb sleepy mentioned on his forum, there are a few individuals on gye who's ego have convinced them that since they're considered a gye veteran, and have high karma they have the right to say redicilus comments, assuming they're funny but they simply aren't, on the contrary they're just putting people off including me.So enough with the corny jokes, and mean comments.

Most people on gye for some reason, don't offend people with their comments because they are here to help, some however just have to comment because they are bored, or jealous other people gave good advice, wtvr the case is just stop!

Seriously guys....
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2019 03:11 by Shnitzel and kugel.

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 04:31 #343173

  • i-man
  • Current streak: 21 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 371
  • Karma: 51
I was told personally by 1 of the most choshuv and beloved people on gye (and I have never come across an unkind word in his thousands of posts)
that jokes and lighthearted conversation is important as it hhelps build comradry and friendship wwhich is necessary to get out of isolation , and if you look back a couple years there was such a culture on Gye and honestly it seems pretty awesome ,so unless its negative I dont see why corny jokes are unwarranted. And yes everyone should be treated respectfully. 

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 04:48 #343177

  • sleepy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 396
thanks guys for validating my feelings, i was just wondering if i was the only one who felt that way, and why am i feeling it more than others , just knowing that what i posted wasnt so off the mark,makes me feel better, and im ready to go further in the battle  of my yetzer hara,may we all see hatzlacha!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2019 04:50 by sleepy.

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 13:06 #343182

  • Dave M
  • Current streak: 327 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 163
  • Karma: 4
I have been active on the forum for the past 9 month or so.  I would say that 99% of posts are respectful and appropriate.  As great as the forum is, it is still only written words without a face behind it.  So there will always be a risk that certain comments will be misunderstood.   Don't let the 1% ruin your experience. 

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 13:27 #343183

  • lionking
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 629
  • Karma: 82
I haven't posted in a while, however I have read every post (unless they got deleted or edited within a few hours). I don't recall any sharp or offending responses, if yes, it was a very low occurrence. Humor on the other hand is a great tool and has helped lots of people. 

Shnitzel, this is the second or third time you are bringing up this topic without any concrete examples. I am not advocating you should post examples on the forum, however perhaps you can raise your concern with an administrator and send them privately a list of sample posts that you feel aren't appropriate.

The same is true to anyone else that feels offended or slighted by people's posts. Raise the issue with an administrator privately and let them deal with it privately. They have banned some people in the past. Or, they can reach out to the offending member to raise awareness and ask for an explanation.

I strongly agree with you that the forums should be a safe place.

Hatzlocha
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 15:30 #343187

  • Trouble
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 520
  • Karma: 125
Gents,

We are all standing on our tippie toes, neck-deep in the Mikvah water. It's not pleasant being here, but it can be. Our guard is down (yaakov?). We can be somewhat defenseless, but we can also behave like men. Pseudonyms, hidden masks, disguises, double identities, mistaken identities, frauds, etc. can only go so far, or can it? I am a member of all the above. Can't this place be a safe haven even without all the sensitivities? Most of us are anonymous. Some of us have met in back alleys, coffee shops, sleazy bars and clubs, park benches, etc. Let's remember that our clothing is in the locker room. We all wear the same shirt and pants (in general terms). Can we not smile, cajole, laugh, mock, criticize, etc. (Is there a rule against using etc. too many times in one paragraph?) Is it too difficult to just get along with each other's idiosyncracies? I don't mean getting along as in friends, but more like colleagues. We don't always need to see eye to eye, and we should not be afraid to tell each other that, even in a direct manner. Yes, we'd like people (all 26 of us) to be able to freely post on the forum and perhaps receive some productive and worthwhile assistance, but does that mean we must agree with everyone's stupidities, foolishness, immaturity, intensities, etc. (Oops, did it again, and I also switched the tenses)? I don't know. Let's just not be so serious. Are we actually afraid that someone might actually listen to one fellow and not to the other? And if yes, who really cares? Do we have the monopoly on sounds advice? Heck, I know I don't (even though I might tell you that I do). What's the worst that can happen? He will stay a lust addict. Big deal! Join the club!
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 16:19 #343190

  • sleepy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 396
 lion kong, if things are dying down I don't know if it's a good idea to stoke things up again,maybe you should practice what you preach and pm shnitzel instead of posting publicly,if you read my thread I think you'll see that I admitted that I could have been wrong,let's not make a whole conflagration out of this.peace bro.
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2019 16:21 by sleepy.

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 16:44 #343193

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 87 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7211
  • Karma: 373
SK sorry for putting it on your thread
It belongs on ieeyc's

Pls forgive me.
KEEP UP YOUR GREAT WORK!

Hows our SMART man doing?
My Story---------Dov Quotes


What works for me:
ForumInternet Restrictions




FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING
Click HERE to checkout;
100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
• Awesome Threads Saved for You
• Cast Your Vote

GYE Plenty Solutions
➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

➣ Nice Trucking Story
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2019 17:18 by Markz.

Re: A struggling bochur 28 Aug 2019 16:54 #343195

  • sleepy
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 396
Markz wrote on 28 Aug 2019 16:44:

sleepy wrote on 28 Aug 2019 16:19:
 lion kong, if things are dying down I don't know if it's a good idea to stoke things up again,maybe you should practice what you preach and pm shnitzel instead of posting publicly,if you read my thread I think you'll see that I admitted that I could have been wrong,let's not make a whole conflagration out of this.peace bro.

King Kong?
ieeyc, if you need to change your name,  ?


I’m sure a moderator can advise, but you really should get permission before you change someone else’s, no?




Sorry for the pegia bimalchus, lionking ,kong came up on my autocorrect
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 28 Aug 2019 17:47 by sleepy.
Time to create page: 0.65 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes