Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest

A struggling bochur
(0 viewing) 
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: A struggling bochur 57510 Views

Re: A struggling bochur 25 Jun 2019 15:08 #341936

Has someone ever gone/tried "smart recovery"? If yes, please pm me. Thanks!
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 26 Jun 2019 00:31 #341948

  • ColinColin
  • Current streak: 30 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 385
  • Karma: 5
What is "Smart Recovery?"

Re: A struggling bochur 26 Jun 2019 03:44 #341950

Alternative to the 12 steps but same idea as in live meetings etc
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 26 Jun 2019 07:22 #341951

  • David26fr
  • Current streak: 11 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 188
  • Karma: 8
The word "smart" is strange to me.
Why especially "smart" in this case ?

I don't understand also the signification of something like the 12 steps but without the 12 steps...
Without offending you, it sounds like Canada Dry for me
Last Edit: 26 Jun 2019 07:27 by David26fr.

Re: A struggling bochur 27 Jun 2019 04:49 #341967

זה יום תחלת מעשיך זכרון ליום ראשון.

Today I celebrate one year since I've joined gye.It has been my best year

Physically: so much more hatslocho in everything I do, and definitely think the eibishter is showing me that he is with me and holding my hand.

spiritually: so much more guided in my spiritual growth by getting a Mashpia, telling him about my struggles, listening to his advice, and know I'm doing what's demand from me, happy where I am but obviously not satisfied and working each day to grow higher.

Emotionally I've been to therapy for a few months which helped me tremendously in different emotional issues in certain areas of my life, plan on going to a sex addict therapist. I don't define my identity by what I do or experiences, rather acting out is just an action I did. I recently joined a bi weekly 12 step phone meeting.

 I plan on bezh going to live "smart recovery" meetings, which includes saying my real name, I also will be meeting face to face a fellow gye friend which has been through the process of "smart recovery", we both know each other's full identity.

I  really dont like hiding anymore behind my name "shnitzel", those that are open know what I mean...I


If not for gye I would of been who knows where I'll be?
I'm only at my current good state thanks to gye.

so no words to thank Reb guard shlita!! (That's why the thanks is only one line)

thanks to everyone here for encouragement, advice, etc!!

All those lucky bochurim reading this, as a single guy, it's the best time to take care of this issue and give it all you've got!
I'd be happy to help you out so feel free to contact me.

Got to run...
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
Last Edit: 27 Jun 2019 04:53 by Shnitzel and kugel.

Re: A struggling bochur 27 Jun 2019 07:07 #341968

  • tzemach
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • Posts: 13
Hatzlacha Rabba with SMART, let us know how it goes!
There’s Life Beyond Addiction

Re: A struggling bochur 11 Jul 2019 08:43 #342214

  • 2626
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 2
  • Karma: 0
Hi guys I’m 19 and I’m a Bachur in Yeshiva learning, and yes I’m addicted to porn, and this is my first day on gye and hopefully b”h I get the help I need to get rid of this yestzer hara of mine and all the shtusim I’m doing every day or night! It’s very hard even thought my few devices are filtered, but you know how it goes the second I have something unfiltered or I find a hack or something I’m right back to it!

Re: A struggling bochur 11 Jul 2019 08:45 #342215

  • 2626
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 2
  • Karma: 0
Wow that really sounds great I wish much hatzlacha and pls wish me the same I just started!

Re: A struggling bochur 11 Jul 2019 13:44 #342226

  • Dave M
  • Current streak: 330 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 171
  • Karma: 4
Welcome!  It's great that you came to this realization, while you are still young and single.  May Hashem grant you hatzlacha in your journey.  Keep us posted on your progress.  Also, it will help if you started a new thread.

Re: A struggling bochur 11 Jul 2019 19:39 #342227

Welcome 2626! Lucky you to have found this site at your age, and as Dave m pointed out, start a new thread, keep us posted on your progress.

Stick around!
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: A struggling bochur 12 Jul 2019 04:47 #342232

  • Hakolhevel
  • Current streak: 7 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Gold Boarder
  • Posts: 256
  • Karma: 22
I think because of the name people think it's the thread for struggling bochurim.

Re: A struggling bochur 14 Jul 2019 15:33 #342267

Like why did I have to act out? Seriously? Couldn't hold myself in?! I'm so upset..

Then I woke up.....
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
Last Edit: 14 Jul 2019 15:33 by Shnitzel and kugel.

Re: A struggling bochur 15 Jul 2019 00:20 #342281

  • Hashem Help Me
  • Current streak: 1072 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1942
2626 wrote on 11 Jul 2019 08:43:
Hi guys I’m 19 and I’m a Bachur in Yeshiva learning, and yes I’m addicted to porn, and this is my first day on gye and hopefully b”h I get the help I need to get rid of this yestzer hara of mine and all the shtusim I’m doing every day or night! It’s very hard even thought my few devices are filtered, but you know how it goes the second I have something unfiltered or I find a hack or something I’m right back to it!

WElcome. It should be with hatzlocha. Stay connected. Keep posting. Iyh everyone here will help you get out of this mess.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: A struggling bochur 17 Jul 2019 14:20 #342350

  • stillgoing
  • Current streak: 44 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "LIFE IS ONLY HARD FOR THE FIRST 120 YEARS!"
  • Posts: 1656
  • Karma: 151
PPepsi
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: A struggling bochur 24 Jul 2019 21:44 #342520

So recently I had an opportunity to spend some time with dov and just wanted to share one amazing insight I learnt from him.

#surrender, there's plenty of definitions to that, but this is how understand and how I apply it my life.

When I see a pretty woman in the street, I tell myself "I'm never going to have her, speak with her, have anything to do with her" "she doesn't want to have anything to with me, she's not trying to please me".

As dov puts it, "a pretty woman isn't lust"! I'm just using her to feed my lust and I really love that line because that totally changed my perspective, as in it used to be me telling myself that she's causing me to lust, so to separate her from her lusting activities (her pretty clothes etc) was hard for me and made it a impossible fight, now that I know it's just my lust I'm imposing on her, andI realize that it's not about her, it's just me then I can tell myself to take a chill, live life and surrender that desire, and try stop objectifying her.

Although it's still a fight for me to go into my personal surrender mode, nevertheless it's not unbearable as it used to be, but there's still a long road ahead to recovery, and BH past 6 weeks that I've been clean I consider it clean not "dry drunk"

Tomorrow evening I'll iyh be starting to attend weekly face to face SMART recovery" meetings.
Feel free to pm me, currently a lucky choson which merited to have discovered gye 1.5 years ago which BH totally changed my life from one extreme to the other!

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)
Time to create page: 0.63 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes