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Welcome me :)
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TOPIC: Welcome me :) 21698 Views

Re: Welcome me :) 04 Feb 2018 08:09 #326398

HakolMilimala wrote on 04 Feb 2018 04:14:
“Promulgate”
Thats a big word for a yeshiva bachur
Thanks so much for reaching out.
I am not familiar with your reference to the IFS model? What is that?

Internal- Inside you there are 
Family- Many different emotions, wants and need that all need to be given attention
Systems- However, sometimes different parts of us get covered over due to pain with an escape or other firefighters.

this is done by reaching out to a person higher self, looking from a place of comfort one can asses, and acknowledge appropriately. Hence his 'need' to act out is diminished considerably, he can manage his life pain by free.

Re: Welcome me :) 04 Feb 2018 13:38 #326407

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Redeemed @ 21 wrote on 04 Feb 2018 02:02:
HI H.M.
I currently go to therapy using the IFS model (internal family systems). I am a bochur just like you, have seen tremendous success. Much of which you have promulgated about, I can relate to. Please feel free to email me at safelykodesh@Gmail.com

hi 
how is ifs working for you i read his book it sounds like fascinating stuff just a little complex

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: Welcome me :) 04 Feb 2018 14:41 #326413

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:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: Welcome me :) 04 Feb 2018 19:15 #326424

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I am not a native Yerushalmi, I grew up in the US. I needed a pseudonym when I joined, and that is the first thing that popped into mind. I wouldn't mind sharing some personal stories, but as you can see by the date of my reply, I don't have the time to monitor the forum. AT best I can check in once or twice a week.

Re: Welcome me :) 04 Feb 2018 19:29 #326425

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HakolMilimala wrote on 30 Jan 2018 13:28:
This led me to ponder a question.

If you had a daughter in shiduchim and you hear about this guy that sounds like a great fit for your daughter. Hashkafas, frumkeit, family, personality, goals, everything matches up. You’re excited about the shidduch idea.

Assume for a second all else is good and you’re impressed with this guy.
Then you find out that this guy has another name: Hakolmilimala.
You realize his past, but you also see that his goal is recovery.

Would you let such a shidduch prospect play out?

Honest answers please.
No place for delusion in addiction.

Unquestionably!

במקום שבעלי תשובה עומדים, אין צדיקים גמורים יכולים לעמוד
I hope I have the words right. It means that you are a fighter who isn't afraid or embarrassed to admit that sometimes the fight is too hard, and to get help. It means that if your future wife is struggling with a personal issue, you will be able to help her. 
These days, so many people are in therapy for one thing or another, there is a chance that your future wife will also have been seeing someone for something. I did, and my wife was also in therapy. When we found out (before we got married) that each one was going for help. it brought us much closer.
It means that should your wife fail a big nisayon in whatever area, you will remember your own experience, and encourage her.
It means that you are honest. You honestly state a challenge that you had, and you were honest in your assessment of yourself to know what needed to be done to win. 

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 06:36 #326784

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Hey friends,
had a crazy busy week and weekend which I find to usually be helpful in not wanting to act out.
after shabbos was over and things calmed down, I was in a place where I had access to a bunch on unfiltered devices. I was using them, we were watching some kosher material - sports and whatnot, but just using the unfiltered device for even kosher things started giving me the urge.

Holding a device which is the access to my drug is like standing in front of a door to an unlocked room where my desires can be fulfilled on the other side. Its scary that it’s like that. But I think that’s how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. If I’m using an unfiltered device even for a few minutes, and even if I’m doing so well in so many areas, my mind starts convincing me to watch porn. Luckily, I forced myself into bed away from the reach of any unfiltered access, and I’m gonna try to put myself to bed.

gut vuch everyone.

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 07:52 #326786

Definitely relate man. It's weird, when you get used to filtered devices, unfiltered devices become very sexualized. Hatzlacha!

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 08:00 #326787

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i hear you also, i think ,though, that its also a matter of siyata deshmaya, all gedolim  bzman haze , forbid the usage of unfiltered  internet, so if i do use one , what kind of help from Hashem can i expect , im flaunting the leaders of Klal Yisroel without a doubt.
im happy you came out clean ,Hashem should continue helping ,hatzlacha!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Last Edit: 11 Feb 2018 08:07 by ieeyc.

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 11:52 #326790

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HakolMilimala wrote on 11 Feb 2018 06:36:
Hey friends,
had a crazy busy week and weekend which I find to usually be helpful in not wanting to act out.
after shabbos was over and things calmed down, I was in a place where I had access to a bunch on unfiltered devices. I was using them, we were watching some kosher material - sports and whatnot, but just using the unfiltered device for even kosher things started giving me the urge.

Holding a device which is the access to my drug is like standing in front of a door to an unlocked room where my desires can be fulfilled on the other side. Its scary that it’s like that. But I think that’s how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. If I’m using an unfiltered device even for a few minutes, and even if I’m doing so well in so many areas, my mind starts convincing me to watch porn. Luckily, I forced myself into bed away from the reach of any unfiltered access, and I’m gonna try to put myself to bed.

gut vuch everyone.

i don't think it's gotta be like that the rest of your life

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 11:53 #326791

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ieeyc wrote on 11 Feb 2018 08:00:
i hear you also, i think ,though, that its also a matter of siyata deshmaya, all gedolim  bzman haze , forbid the usage of unfiltered  internet, so if i do use one , what kind of help from Hashem can i expect , im flaunting the leaders of Klal Yisroel without a doubt.
im happy you came out clean ,Hashem should continue helping ,hatzlacha!

very hard to accept what you are saying i am not sure you are correct 

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 12:05 #326792

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if you went to any of those gedolim and told them your nisayon what would they say most of us had this nisayon before the computer was invented or before we had access 
the gedolim i think are talking about prevention and of course most people that are here should get filters but if people here will beat themselves up and start worrying about listaening to gedolim etc. will have the opposite effect
how do we know how they dole out siyata dishmaya up there maybe you'll have siyatta dishmaya that will push you to get the filter who knows
we can only do ours 
thinking your a rasha got no one no place 
what do you think?

like a bridge over troubled waters


my stuff

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 12:30 #326794

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The fact is that without exception the rabbonim from all kehillos in klal yisroel have demanded the use of appropriate filters. There may be some people who have received exceptions to this psak for various reasons, but those are the exception. The obvious benefits of a good filter - prevention of pop ups and the like, safeguarding against mistakenly typed website addresses, and of course the slowing down and inconveniencing of someone who has a strong desire to watch (for most people it takes a few minutes to "beat the system" and break through the filter). Besides that, gedolei yisroel have blessed those who follow this directive with promises of greater syatta d'shmaya. Personally, in my weak moments, the fact that i have a phone that is only talk and text, and the fact that my laptop is whitelisted by Tag to only have a few absolutely necessary sites (including GYE), has saved me on many occassions. There were definitely many times where without a filter i would have been "fried". 

Disclaimer - There are some extremely tech savvy people who have a special nisayon of trying to break through filters whenever they come across one. Those people may actually be triggered by a filter. They need to ask a sheilas chochom what to do. But they are definitely not the majority.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 12:40 #326795

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tzomah wrote on 11 Feb 2018 11:52:

HakolMilimala wrote on 11 Feb 2018 06:36:
Hey friends,
had a crazy busy week and weekend which I find to usually be helpful in not wanting to act out.
after shabbos was over and things calmed down, I was in a place where I had access to a bunch on unfiltered devices. I was using them, we were watching some kosher material - sports and whatnot, but just using the unfiltered device for even kosher things started giving me the urge.

Holding a device which is the access to my drug is like standing in front of a door to an unlocked room where my desires can be fulfilled on the other side. Its scary that it’s like that. But I think that’s how it’s going to be for the rest of my life. If I’m using an unfiltered device even for a few minutes, and even if I’m doing so well in so many areas, my mind starts convincing me to watch porn. Luckily, I forced myself into bed away from the reach of any unfiltered access, and I’m gonna try to put myself to bed.

gut vuch everyone.

i don't think it's gotta be like that the rest of your life

Why, what’s gonna change?
Once an addict always an addict, no?

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 12:42 #326796

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Ihavestrength wrote on 11 Feb 2018 07:52:
Definitely relate man. It's weird, when you get used to filtered devices, unfiltered devices become very sexualized. Hatzlacha!

Great way to put it.

Re: Welcome me :) 11 Feb 2018 18:19 #326806

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tzomah wrote on 11 Feb 2018 11:53:

ieeyc wrote on 11 Feb 2018 08:00:
i hear you also, i think ,though, that its also a matter of siyata deshmaya, all gedolim  bzman haze , forbid the usage of unfiltered  internet, so if i do use one , what kind of help from Hashem can i expect , im flaunting the leaders of Klal Yisroel without a doubt.
im happy you came out clean ,Hashem should continue helping ,hatzlacha!

very hard to accept what you are saying i am not sure you are correct 

what , there are some Gedolim who allow unfiltered internet?

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

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