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TOPIC: just trying to do the right thing 32445 Views

Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Jan 2018 17:57 #324993

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ieeyc wrote on 08 Jan 2018 17:34:
i defintly had such experiences ,and if i fell after a wet dream(i almost did) i probably would not  have reached being clean for 11 years(although its 10 stupid  years of falling after the 11 years)

Hey ieeyc, how about post #80, start your own new personal thread and share your story somewhat?
No need to share personal details like your name and address...

Looking forward ;-)
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Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Jan 2018 18:08 #324994

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iampowerless wrote on 07 Jan 2018 19:37:
Hi everyone i have a scary question which is scaring me i see 2 types of people on GYE there are some who quit for really long periods of time some even over 200 days but then they relapse and don't seem to be able to get back up, others once they reach such high numbers they never look back they just keep on climbing to unbelievable numbers how do i make sure to be part of those as opposed to the other ones? it's a really scary thought reaching 200 days and then falling, even though i'm sure god is proud of what he did. Still it's got to be really depressing

And I 'relapsed' after 600 days and BH am doing well (I think)

The answer to your question is;
People are not made of lego. We are human. Each man has his own story like no other. Many have childhood abuse and there's many other factors

This why what works for 1 won't work for a different guy. For example calling a chaver doesn't make everyone sober. It helps a few, and many more as a stepping stone...

So stop worrying about relapse, get on the Truck and Make today great again!!
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Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Jan 2018 19:39 #325008

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thanks for the encouragement ,hope my story comes out before purim (or pesach),its a looong story 

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Jan 2018 20:24 #325019

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When one stops masturbating regularly, the body and subconscious react by trying to get their "drug"/release when they can. Therefore it is expected that when one BH starts refraining from releasing consciously, the body will do it at night subconsciously. There will also be erections when sleeping and sometimes even during the day while "spacing out" as a result of this "withdrawal". Do not pay attention to it at all. If anything, celebrate that you have finally broken out enough that the subconscious realizes it. The good news is that it will slowly stop happening as the body learns that you are finding other ways to release stress etc...  The yetzer hora would love for you to get tzubrochen over this and say, "See, its useless. I fell in my sleep". You didnt fall at all. Keep on doing great b'ezras Hashem.
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Re: just trying to do the right thing 08 Jan 2018 23:55 #325039

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ieeyc wrote on 08 Jan 2018 19:39:
thanks for the encouragement ,hope my story comes out before purim (or pesach),its a looong story 

I have a hunch you also suffer from perfectionism. Correct?
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Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 00:29 #325042

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actualy if you want to discover my true identity look up in a dictionary imperfect ,no dont look at the definition ,just the word, imperfect. im perfect.actualy im not perfect and if you dont believe  my,ask my wife.for her identity look up mrs.imperfect-the wife of mr.imperfect. kol tuv:smile:

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 03:15 #325049

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ieeyc wrote on 09 Jan 2018 00:29:
actualy if you want to discover my true identity look up in a dictionary imperfect ,no dont look at the definition ,just the word, imperfect. im perfect.actualy im not perfect and if you dont believe  my,ask my wife.for her identity look up mrs.imperfect-the wife of mr.imperfect. kol tuv:smile:

Not very good at hiding your identity... 

Is it possible that your hesitance in sharing your story is the fear of losing the thing that is most precious to you - porn and teshuva?

Im not dov, I wasn't, and I won't be 
If you want to understand my question better I suggest you hit the "Dov Quote" thingy below
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Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 04:48 #325059

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i hit the dov button and it threw back at me over 100 quotes  ,i wish that would happen by the pepsi machine.i willing to accept your statement that porn is the most precious thing to me but can you prove   that its so , because im not convinced,i hope its not so.

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 13:43 #325079

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ieeyc wrote on 09 Jan 2018 04:48:
i hit the dov button and it threw back at me over 100 quotes  ,i wish that would happen by the pepsi machine.i willing to accept your statement that porn is the most precious thing to me but can you prove   that its so , because im not convinced,i hope its not so.



gibbor120 wrote on 22 Dec 2011 17:20:
What do You really Value the Most?


dov wrote on 22 Dec 2011 00:54:

As Rav Twerski writes, our behavior attests to what we really value the most.

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Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 14:21 #325084

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I found insperation to this from believe it or not yosef hatzadik i always wondered why after such a sacrifice did he spend 12 years in jail (that ceartinly would have put me in a deep fall) till i found
2 reasons hashem punishes when you have more zechusim as the punishment is less or that as you rise to the next level earlier things not considered bad suddenly are included as now for such a person its not appropriate (sorry maybe this belongs in another thread but the idea itself has encouraged me in similar situations where you start doing good and you get that real bang) 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 15:03 #325090

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Welcome!  You are very brave for coming here.   I can't wait to hear the rest of your story.  How is therapy going?  You have a good attitude.  Don't worry about streaks.  The people with long streaks don't worry about streaks.  Worry about what you can do now for recovery.  Just telling your story can be very therapeutic.  Check out the dov quotes link in my signature. Keep posting.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 16:07 #325096

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Anyways to continue my long story the stress and fighting at home got to a crazy point until yankele's parents got yankele hospitalized after 2 years of having a triple life (this part was extremely emotional and until this day i have yet fully forgiven my parent's for it you see things were ugly at home but at no point was yankele a danger to himself and to others but some rav told my parent's to try to force me into therapy something that i was against as i had a huge ego and out of the house i was considered a great shpitz guy so in my mind it's not me who has a problem rather it was my parent's who made such a huge power struggle (2 people with huge EGO's put in the same household is a recipe for dizzzzzzzaster) and i was very yeshivish and viewed therapy as something for crazies anyways back in school i told them the reason why i missed a week of school was because i was taking fahers in Philly and riverdale. (now in school i was considered more shpitz!) anyways as soon as i got back to school the principal called me over and told me since you went to take fahers it's like you left my school the only way i will let you back in my school will be if you make piece with the other boy you are fighting......so what will yankel do stay tuned for part 5!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need”

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

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Last Edit: 30 Jan 2018 12:54 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 16:14 #325097

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anyways in regards to now, i'm baruch hashem 15 days clean i'm going to this new therapist again tomorrow i still didn't get a response as anyone done brainspotting therapy or heard of it? because i have done a lot of CBT while it helped a little it didn't really accomplish a lot. this new therapist told me he thinks for me brainspotting therapy will be extremely useful ? so looking for some advice

and as always LOVE YANKEL!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need”

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                       

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 17:17 #325106

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Markz wrote on 09 Jan 2018 03:15:



Not very good at hiding your identity... 

Is it possible that your hesitance in sharing your story is the fear of losing the thing that is most precious to you - porn and teshuva?


i dont know how you dug up that picture of me but im glad my eyes were covered  a person is only recognized by the eyes 

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jan 2018 17:32 #325110

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Markz wrote on 09 Jan 2018 13:43:

ieeyc wrote on 09 Jan 2018 04:48:
i hit the dov button and it threw back at me over 100 quotes  ,i wish that would happen by the pepsi machine.i willing to accept your statement that porn is the most precious thing to me but can you prove   that its so , because im not convinced,i hope its not so.



gibbor120 wrote on 22 Dec 2011 17:20:
What do You really Value the Most?


dov wrote on 22 Dec 2011 00:54:

As Rav Twerski writes, our behavior attests to what we really value the most.



well my behavior i n any given week is learning,davening,working,spending time with my family,gyeing, eating,napping,AND acting out here and there, so what am i , a davener, learner, luster, which behavior is  attesting about me ?
yankel keep it up!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

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