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just trying to do the right thing
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TOPIC: just trying to do the right thing 17575 Views

Re: just trying to do the right thing 13 Jul 2018 16:47 #333375

B'h today is day 44, anyways i am going to update my commitment for another 15 days until day 60 where if i fall (masturbation, Pornography or any kind of looking for erotic pictures or books or clothing websites. ETC,) besides for joining PA i'll have to give $100 to GYE. And if i on purpose look for content that will lead me on a downward slope such as forums or nonwork related sites that while not being a fall are huge triggers or i don't belong there i will have to give $100 to GYE

Looking forward to many more clean days. ODAAT!

Good Shabbos my friends
 Love Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 24 Jul 2018 18:51 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 23 Jul 2018 20:13 #333772

Hi Chevra i am b'h at day 54! anyways Keeping in touch with people and constant surrendering and working my program are some of the tools that have helped me so far! it happens that today i'm feeling extra lusty so i guess it's time to surrender and make some phone calls..................


:kissing_heart:Love ya all! Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 23 Jul 2018 20:15 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Jul 2018 14:54 #333878

Ouch my filter by work stopped working, and unfortunately it led down a slippery slope and i slipped into reading some forums. But b'h i stopped there and didn't have a full blown fall anyways i gave $100 to GYE as i had promised and now i'm redoing my contract until day 60 after which i''ll redo it again.

here is my updated contract if i fall (masturbation, Pornography or any kind of looking for erotic pictures or books or clothing websites. ETC,) besides for joining PA i'll have to give $100 to GYE. And if i on purpose look for content that will lead me on a downward slope such as Goyishe forums or chat rooms or any other questionable material on any of the computers by work I will have to give $100 to GYE.
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 25 Jul 2018 14:56 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Jul 2018 16:16 #333881

  • mzl
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I take it these are real nedarim?

What does PA stand for?

Re: just trying to do the right thing 25 Jul 2018 19:18 #333900

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1999 days
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mzl wrote on 25 Jul 2018 16:16:
I take it these are real nedarim?

What does PA stand for?

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


https://p-a.online/
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: just trying to do the right thing 10 Aug 2018 13:57 #334543

Hello everybody I'm back, unfortunately I had a bunch of setbacks and falls. I have been a mess.

Anyways I have given myself a new name and look Do you like it? And Joined PA I went to 2 meetings so far.

Hoping that this time around through working the program ODAAT I will break free from this trash and start living life.


 Love Yankel
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 10 Aug 2018 13:57 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 10 Aug 2018 15:07 #334544

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1999 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Ki Nofalti, KOMT-i!
  • Posts: 3774
  • Karma: 407
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: just trying to do the right thing 11 Jan 2019 16:31 #338388

Hello my dear buddies. 

It's been a while since I last posted B'h today i am 141 days clean, I will hopefully describe in a future post what has helped me get to this point!

Anyways lately I have been having some real rough temptations and while I b'h didn't pass my red line and acted out I did have some slips lately. So I decided it's time to get more involved in my recovery, posting on the forum and hopefully helping out others on their journey.

So here is to many happy and sober days to everyone

 Love you all
 Your friend Yankel!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 15 Jan 2019 15:06 #338472

Ouch after a streak of 143 days of sobriety I unfortunately had a full fledged fall anyways I'm realizing as I usually do after my falls "it wasn't worth it" "it was all fake and garbage, with huge consequences" and I don't want to go back to my old days of nonstop falling.

The positive part is these 143 days of sobriety have taught me the proper recipe needed to remain sober which I will break into 4 steps
1. Going to meetings and keeping in touch with people, the power of having connections who can relate to you is huge!
2. Making a proper step one, to truly realize the harm and all the bad that this addiction does and has done to my life. As well as realizing and accepting the fact that I'm sick and since I'm sick "I WILL GET URGES and unwanted thoughts
3. And a good step 3 realizing that since I'm sick, I will get unwanted urges of which I have zero control over as such I will not even attempt to fight them I will let hashem take care of my thoughts and urges for me. 
4. Learning to accept my life on hashem's terms and "stop trying to control all aspects of my life" if I don't like one part of my life and I can't control it I will accept it as hashem's will and "ride the waves" same with urges When I feel terrible and have an urge which I can't control I realize and accept that that's hashem's will and I "will just have to "ride the waves" I can't control that.

Anyways since I'm aware that the next few days will be more challenging I am agreeing for the next 15 days to the following 2 commitments and if I willingly brake these 2 commitments I will give $100 to GYE.

1. Not go on any unfiltered computer whatsoever (besides my work computer, during work hours)
2. Not to use my work computer at all after my working day (as during that time period I'm more prone to fall)

 Anyways Love you all Yankel

 SOBRIETY ROCKS!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
Last Edit: 15 Jan 2019 15:15 by Iampowerless.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 15 Jan 2019 16:45 #338473

  • Gevura Shebyesod
  • Current streak: 1999 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Ki Nofalti, KOMT-i!
  • Posts: 3774
  • Karma: 407
Almost 5 months! That's a really good run. So you fell in the water. But the shark hasn't got you yet. Get back on that surfboard and boogie!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: just trying to do the right thing 23 Jan 2019 19:26 #338614

Oysh! It's so hard to get back on track after falling. Unfortunately I haven't been good at all lately

 Love you all your friend Yankel

Here is to better days 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes
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