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just trying to do the right thing
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TOPIC: just trying to do the right thing 22557 Views

Re: just trying to do the right thing 21 Jun 2018 15:39 #332534

  • Iampowerless
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mzl wrote on 21 Jun 2018 15:03:
Way to go ...

What did you feel anxious about? Did something happen to you? Did you have a conversation that upset you?

What could i tell you, in life there is no shortage of things to feel anxious about..........
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 21 Jun 2018 15:42 #332535

  • Iampowerless
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Markz wrote on 21 Jun 2018 15:24:

iampowerless wrote on 21 Jun 2018 14:26:

Last night was so rough for me......... i felt such strong anxiety and such a desire to act out. I was literally going insane......but i knew that while acting out will help my anxiety for a few minutes but in the long term it will cause me to be enslaved to act when i'm feeling anxiety and my anxiety is just going to be reinforced and get stronger in the future. b'h right when i was feeling extremely horrible 2 friends of mine from a yeshiva near me, knocked on my door if i could help them put a new CD on their MP3. Since they had an extremely old and yeshivish MP3 it took 45 minutes to put it on, b'h that ordeal calmed me down afterwards i did some mindfullness, took a hot bath (hot water could really calm anxiety) etc..... b'h rode the wave

 ONE DAY AT A TIME


Great going!!

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

To be honest one had a Sansa MP3 that was straightforward to work with, but the other boy had a 2nd generation Ipod nano, i didn't know you could still buy those??
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 21 Jun 2018 16:07 #332540

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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iampowerless wrote on 21 Jun 2018 14:26:

Last night was so rough for me......... i felt such strong anxiety and such a desire to act out. I was literally going insane......but i knew that while acting out will help my anxiety for a few minutes but in the long term it will cause me to be enslaved to act when i'm feeling anxiety and my anxiety is just going to be reinforced and get stronger in the future. b'h right when i was feeling extremely horrible 2 friends of mine from a yeshiva near me, knocked on my door if i could help them put a new CD on their MP3. Since they had an extremely old and yeshivish MP3 it took 45 minutes to put it on, b'h that ordeal calmed me down afterwards i did some mindfullness, took a hot bath (hot water could really calm anxiety) etc..... b'h rode the wave

 ONE DAY AT A TIME


Doing for others is the best way to get out of yourself. I have had a number of times where I was feeling really rotten after a fall and Hashem sent me opportunities to do a small Chesed for someone and it made me feel so much better. It's not just a Ruchniyus thing, it's that we feel worthless and useless and then we are shown that we have what to offer the world and be appreciated by others.

KUTGW & KOMT!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: just trying to do the right thing 21 Jun 2018 19:22 #332552

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Hi everyone today by work i found an online forum for non jews who are struggling with Porn and Masturbation addiction,as well as all kinds of other sexual problems they are facing in their relationship. So at 1st i didn't see it as bad to read through that forum............anyways as i was going through it i noticed that i was getting extremely triggered and the reason why this website interested me was not in any way to help myself but rather as a way to lust.

Anyways i'm really tempted right now to go back to that website........so i added "Block Site - Website Blocker for Chrome" to my work computer and added this website on the block list i will also add any other questionable websites i stumbled into in the future to get blocked as well. And in order for me to open up any of those sites that are blocked i must tell my partner the site i'm opening as well as the reason why i'm opening it and if i don't it will be considered a fall. Also if i purposely use another browser besides chrome to open this sites it will be a fall.......and will lead to me to join PA
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 26 Jun 2018 14:56 #332700

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It is now 10:54 AM and i pretty much finished all the work i'm supposed to do for the day. The problem is i need to be here until 5 PM. This is crazy............... What do people do with sooo much free time at work? you could only be busy with GYE for some time? 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 26 Jun 2018 17:00 #332703

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iampowerless wrote on 26 Jun 2018 14:56:
It is now 10:54 AM and i pretty much finished all the work i'm supposed to do for the day. The problem is i need to be here until 5 PM. This is crazy............... What do people do with sooo much free time at work? you could only be busy with GYE for some time? 

Not sure if you can do this at work, but have you considered calling a few people that could use chizuk? It's so easy to do. For the most part it just involves listening to someone unload and making them feel that there is someone else trying to carry their load with them. You don't need to have to have the answers to all of life's challenges to lift someone up.
I'm writing this as an eye opener for everyone, not particularly to you. Regardless of where a person is holding in recovery he can always lend a listening ear and give chizuk to someone that is going through a tough time. It also helps to build ourselves up as well by making us realize that we are not the useless losers that our crazy lying brain tries to convince us of - we have the power to lift people up!

Hatzlacha.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 26 Jun 2018 17:20 #332705

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@grateful4life,Thanks for the idea, you are 100% right. Let me make a phone call now 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 28 Jun 2018 20:58 #332789

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Hi friends it's been another week and now i'm holding by day 29 anyways i spoke to my partner and i extended the challenge for another 15 days, i also added $100 to GYE if i fall. So ODAAT the Challenge continues! #Go Yankel GO

Looking forward to another clean week 
 Love Yankel
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jul 2018 20:43 #333139

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Hi everyone today i reached 40 days clean. anyway the last few days i have really been feeling the desire to act out and while i didn't fall i did have a few cases of what i would consider a slip sitting bored on my computer at work i would just scroll through all kinds of places and forums about life etc, while there was no pictures or whatever nothing good comes out of just endless googling I need to get my act together on my slips before they spiral downward and i end up falling any advice it's been tough

 Help me it's been tough!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jul 2018 20:55 #333141

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If you are honestly just bored I would be careful not to forbid yourself things which aren't forbidden by the Torah, like reading the news. It could be an act of narcissism that blows up in your face.

If you are concerned that you are trying to think about sex but with plausible deniability, by reading up on what the first lady is up to, for example, then you are probably on to something and you are right to be concerned.

In the latter case I would try to write down why you want to stop masturbating, your motivation, as it is today. To me it sounds like whatever motivation you had 40 days ago has run out, which could mean it wasn't very good.

Another possibility is that you have some temptation in the back of your head that you are really ashamed of and really don't want to accept. That could be tied to some experience.

I had a desire today which I won't say because I don't want to gross everybody out but I came close to not acknowledging it. Yuck ...
Last Edit: 09 Jul 2018 20:59 by mzl.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 09 Jul 2018 21:08 #333144

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Hi i wrote down a list of websites that i'm allowed on during work hours on my unfiltered work computer (as my work doesn't let me put a filter) so from now on if i willingly go on any website that is not on my list and not related to work, financial aspects, or GYE and there is no need for me to go on it (It has to be a real need in order for me to go on it) i will have to give $100 to GYE!

  Hope this helps to control me when i'm bored by work! 
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 10 Jul 2018 04:02 #333168

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Reb Yankel your doing awesome keep at it !
I see that you keep mentioning that you are bored at work, making gedarim to Not do certain things on its own probably wont work you need to be busy- 1 we know where boredom leads to, 2 if you dont feel productive than.......please put your mind to it try to think of something to do when things are slow

Continued Hatzlacha - keep posting.

Re: just trying to do the right thing 11 Jul 2018 22:26 #333266

  • stillgoing
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HI Yankel. Did you get the raise?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: just trying to do the right thing 12 Jul 2018 13:38 #333286

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stillgoing wrote on 11 Jul 2018 22:26:
HI Yankel. Did you get the raise?

Not yet, i'm waiting till I am a few weeks in my new position and after bringing in a nice promotion from a vendor i'll ask for a raise! Thanks for asking!
Important quote from Cordnoy
"The need is a perceived one. There has not been one reported case on these pages of a death occurrin' on account of not fulfillin' that need

“I avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.” 

"My recovery must come first so that everything I love in life doesn’t have to come last."

My Story
                                         
My 90 Day Journey

Yankel's Daily Inspirational Quotes

Re: just trying to do the right thing 12 Jul 2018 14:48 #333297

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Hatzlocha Rabba! Wishing you the best!
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com
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