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getting there after to many lost years
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TOPIC: getting there after to many lost years 13060 Views

Re: getting there after to many lost years 26 Jun 2017 22:52 #316164

  • Michael94
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I too find the shiurim to be a one of the great benefits of gue;
yesterday I listened to a shiur and today I went on a trip to a place which normally would've been a nisoyan to focuse solely on enjoying the company but after yesterday's shiur it was much easier and bh I really enjoyed the trip with not many distractions.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 27 Jun 2017 08:47 #316184

  • getthere
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Whcih Shiurim do you listen to? I find the Shmiras Enayim Shiurim from Dovi, very inspiring.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 27 Jun 2017 14:55 #316193

  • sheleg
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Get there,,, I am sorry I hurt your feelings.
Please for give me for being insensitive.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 27 Jun 2017 15:11 #316195

  • getthere
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Forgiven and forgotten

Re: getting there after to many lost years 27 Jun 2017 16:29 #316199

  • Michael94
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I listen to dov shiurim,

I find dovs shiurim to be very realistic, therapeutic and helpful.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 03 Jul 2017 15:40 #316641

  • getthere
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Was not an easy Shabbes and i just have to get this of my head.
My wife was upset with me about the whole situation, which i feel is getting better, and i started having a fantasy again, but B.H. i managed to give G''d the fantasy and he did not return it to me. I guess he loves me..

Re: getting there after to many lost years 09 Jul 2017 13:51 #316903

  • getthere
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I should have eritten already last tuesday when i started slipping next i will just the time for it.  As i did not try to find help then for a slip i am doing so now for a fall. Triggered by being upset st someone in the office and deepend by being questioned if i will ever get out of this. The yetzer hora worked and won, i probably also started to think that i have it under control.
What do i do in the future?
I would like to join the 12 step call.
I will see if i can install stronger filters or i will install a reporting system, but i dont know yet who to send it to.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 19 Jul 2017 09:44 #317448

  • getthere
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B.H. doing good again after my last fall. Dusted off and picked myself up, there is really no reason to act out or to lust, as the pleasure passes so quickly and the shame and remorse stays on so much longer after that, that i have decided it is just not worth it. It all plays out in the mind, you think this one is even nicer or i have to see just this clip once more, then i am done. 
What do you gain from it? absolutely nothing - just a bad feeling and a feeling of hopelessness if i can really ever get out of this. But then i remember what i read here to just ask Hashem to help me out of this mess, i just pray sincerely and after a short while i am fine again and have other things to on my mind. 

Re: getting there after to many lost years 28 Jul 2017 07:45 #318001

  • getthere
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Good Morning
I have not been here for a while now, allthough i read alot of other peoples post, i have not written myself. Just wanted to check in and let everyone know that i am doing good B.H. and have started the 12 steps with a sponsor and will hopefully also start soon with a jewish therapist i found on this site. Until now i went to a non jewish one and i think that to let a bit of Judaism into the system will only do good.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 14 Aug 2017 14:18 #318753

  • getthere
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After a while of feeling wavey - with ups and downs. i am B.H: feeling better again, i hope to have it more under control. I am speaking to someone from my community which is doing me good, i am doing the 12 steps with him, i hope he is the right person, but better than not doing it at all.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 03 Oct 2017 15:42 #320873

  • getthere
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I have not been here for a while. But b.h. doing actually very good, i found the more i think of it the more likely it is that i have a fall. for my recovery i see a therapist and i write my own story of my life privately - not on the forum maybe at some future point i will write it also on here. It helped me alot the forum and still does, i just to the reading and not the writing. My head has been occupied with other thoughts and has no space for these thoughts anymore, i hope it stays like that. And if a thought does enter i can always exchange for other thoughts.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 23 Oct 2017 08:55 #321446

  • wellworthit
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In Yeshiva the Mashgiach even once saw what i was doing but he just pulled out a Shulchan Aruch and that was the end of him talking to me.

i had a similar story in my yeshiva the masgichim ar poshut not equipped for todays generation

it should be with great hatzlocho
keep going strong
remember this is your part it hashem major plan

Re: getting there after to many lost years 28 Dec 2017 13:16 #324355

  • getthere
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That was along time since i was last on the forum. B.H. i am doing good, the lusting and fantasies are under control - for most of the time. It helped me to realize that i have to want myself, if i do it for someone else because i am scared the outcome from it, it just does not work, the pressure, if coming from outside, is too big to be able to manage. So once i decided i am doing it for me and not get affected what other people think of me i am doing much better. I consider feelings of other people and i also try to understand them but i do not let them affect my mood and i for sure to not act out on them. 
My therapist also helped me alot to understand how feeling and actions are connected, no difference if these feelings are known or unknown, the whole system from bottom to top is connected and every reaction from any situation comes from the childhood imprints.
Fortunately my addiction is not based on an official trauma, i B.H. had a good childhood, was not abused, my parents are still married - many more years i.y.h., and i feel very lucky. My only possibility of getting close to a trauma that i possibly did not get enough attention/love from my parents, and when that was missing i just went to my room all by myself - and if there is no one else to give me love - i just have to give it to myself - that is how my addiction developed into fully fledged monster which it was until about two years ago. Since then i had my ups and downs but at least  i learned through this forum and with my therapist, how to handle situation were i feel like acting out.
I will iyh continue my story a different time.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 29 Dec 2017 08:49 #324412

  • ieeyc
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somebody wrote:
You were masturbating in the beis medrash??



sorry s. i dont think your comment was appreciated or helpful,trust me, what i and im sure you,did inthe" past"wasnt any less silliar  sss
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Last Edit: 29 Dec 2017 09:03 by ieeyc.

Re: getting there after to many lost years 26 Mar 2019 03:39 #339996

  • Trouble
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Trouble wrote on 24 May 2017 22:53:
Money is the root of all evil!
Money buys girls, cars and weed.
Nothing good will come out of that.
Rather, give it to GYE.
Use the method listed # 1 on the tools.
Take an oath that you will not look at any uncovered skin.
If you do and you did not speak to Dov or read his Dov quotes or listen To Rabbi Sorotzkin (or his Rebbitzen) on what he/she says about "The times of 'hear no evil, see no evil,'" then you must give 250 lirot or whatever the hell coinage you are using in that country of yours directly to GYE.

Actually, give them your cc, and have them take monthly installments.

Maybe then, someone here will be cured.

Carrying extra money in pocket is super dangerous!
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....
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