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TOPIC: Bego 12113 Views

Re: Bego 29 Jun 2022 15:57 #382615

  • Kavey
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If you're as well versed in the baalei mussar as you say, don't you think you run the risk of being a mumar l'davar echad? That's a scary place to be IMO.

The guys who try and fail, try and fail and pick up themselves up again are I think very different than the guys who close the book on trying.

When I'm going through a crisis I sometimes think of R' Pincus's explanation of 'Yismach Lev Mevakshei Hashem', that even if things in my avoda aren't going well I should rejoice just because I'm a mevakesh. (I think he says we also are muvtach to succeed in the end...)

Re: Bego 29 Jun 2022 20:20 #382628

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Did Bego ever say hes closing the book on trying? He just doesent have the urge to feel now like life ended... and all the scary things will now happen in this world and the other one... 

That's the way I read his posts. And I relate to that.

Re: Bego 30 Jun 2022 15:03 #382654

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bego wrote on 29 Jun 2022 14:29:

fromnow wrote on 29 Jun 2022 14:21:
I recognise that we all sin, just in different ways. I see that many people greater than I have areas they struggle with tremendously and I just don't feel that over powering guilt I used to. I no longer really believe that Hashem is going to pounce on me for my aveiros. I believe my life is a process of struggling and achieving. 

Hey Bego,

I wanna start off with saying - I am not judging you, I have my own struggles which needs a lot of improvement - to put it a nice way - Just wanna add my 2 cents.

I think its true that all humans have their struggles, and many struggle with serious stuff. Isn't this the reason we're put in to this world?!. -  we try our best, there are times we succeed and time when we fail. When we make a mistake by transgressing of the torah - we can repent and use it as a learning experience on how to get better and make sure it doesn't happen again. And if it does happen again, we learn from that and make more and stronger gedurim. But to say: "I no longer really believe that Hashem is going to pounce on me for my aveiros" seems to be a of track.
Does this make any sense?

it does make sense, yes.

But what can I tell you, I don't think that is teshuva. By definition, the yodea ta'alumos knows I will sin again and not because He knows everything, but because it is clear that my teshuva isn't total. You call it repenting and learning. I call that starting a process that might lead to teshuva. All
that leaves me to think that this Rambam is aspirational. It is the end of a process. The logical corollary of that is that Hashem watches the process. He knows that we are all on different paths to different places. You talk about stronger gedorim and learning more. It's a galgal hachozer. you just make it harder for yourself to sin. You didn't change (yes, i am aware the ba'aeli mussar think this is a madreigo - believe me, I've learnt a fair amount). 

It also means Hashem doesn't pounce. He isn't evil (ch'v).

Whatever, hard to explain without going into way too much details. 

​Do I think (most) people change their inner nature (not their outer actions)? Not really, not in any major ways. In small amounts. here and there. But maybe, that's what Hashem is truly expecting of us. 

You are correct that most people don't change their insides. But some people do. I have seen it in myself over the past year. I have seen tremendous changes in my inner nature, and this is coming from someone who thought he would be masturbating till 120 and who thought he had bigger taivos and worse nisyonos than everyone else. I am far from perfect, but I am substantially changed in my inner nature from where I was one year ago. I'm just saying that just because most people never change their insides, doesn't mean one cannot aspire to it and achieve it.
As long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

As
long as you keep fantasizing, you will never be able to stop masturbating.

Re: Bego 30 Jun 2022 17:29 #382669

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Kavey wrote on 29 Jun 2022 15:57:
If you're as well versed in the baalei mussar as you say, don't you think you run the risk of being a mumar l'davar echad? That's a scary place to be IMO.

The guys who try and fail, try and fail and pick up themselves up again are I think very different than the guys who close the book on trying.

When I'm going through a crisis I sometimes think of R' Pincus's explanation of 'Yismach Lev Mevakshei Hashem', that even if things in my avoda aren't going well I should rejoice just because I'm a mevakesh. (I think he says we also are muvtach to succeed in the end...)

i agree we should all strive to grow up,but never give up
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Re: Bego 27 Jul 2022 14:40 #384010

  • bego
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Hi all

Sorry, I didn't mean to ignore the responses. I've just been dealing with a lot the past month.

 B"H a month of reasonable cleanness. No actual masturbation. A couple of quick looks at porn which are more to do with tiredness than anything. 

I want to be me. 
Sex is a Thneed
A Thneed is something that everyone needs.
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