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Starting anew. again.
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TOPIC: Starting anew. again. 47327 Views

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 02:14 #291982

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shmirashachaim wrote:
Im not sure if I should say as it might cause triggers for others. 

What, you're training to be a gynecologist?

Well then go ahead and read this thread
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Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 03:14 #291992

Markz, you consistently baffle me on your ability to pull anything on anything from these forums (k that was from your lust towing but still)

What I am doing has very much relevance to that, perhaps a little worse though (not in the long run necessarily but right now) But now that you bring it up ill say that I don't understand how any of these frum guys get into these type of jobs. There is a frum OBGYM in the community who everyone goes to, and it's accepted. I just don't understand why though. There are dozens of parnasahs out there, why put yourself through one where your looking at women's bodies/ervah's all day. I'll add that my limited knowledge and my inquiries in high school tells me that these types of stories in navi/chazal apply only to those times, and current Halacha forbids us from such things as our yarida makes all of us influenced. Again that's just my ameratzis understanding. 
This question likely has more relevance to me than stam curiosity, so appreciate this.

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 03:38 #292002

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It's not necessarily true especially since you yourself mentioned the word "erva"
קול באשה ערוה שער באשה ערוה
והמסתכל אפילו באצבע קטנה של אשה ונתכוין ליהנות ממנה כאלו נסתכל בבית התורף (פי׳ ערוה) שלה


Our problem is that we lust even about a pinky. There are many Frum photographers that will take family pictures and single poses, which I could never do, because my brain is wired in such a way that I can't easily look at a girl without objectifying her. Yeah if I don't take the first drink / look I'm fine. But does that mean all Frum photographers are lust addicts?
 
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Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 04:13 #292009

Interesting. thanks.

 

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 04:15 #292010

I'm still not feeling well. I'm stressing out on this stuff. im calling it a night.
if I go to sleep that most probably means won't cover all material needed. 

may Hashem be with me

gn

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 04:28 #292012

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לילה טוב

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 15:47 #292041

Markz what I think you are saying theoretically makes sense, but not all to clear if I understand your point, and if I do can you just confirm that it's true lemiesa?
I have always thought that everyone is affected by women by just being a guy. That's nature. A lustaholic might pervert everything to lust (as I have done countless of times in the past) but does that negate that every normally functioning guy isn't immune to tyvah? I'm just not getting what your saying. Is the whole concept of shmiras einaim irrelevant if your not hooked on porn? A lot of chashava people are careful not to go to certain places and Guard Their Eyes. Are you proposing their minds are in "addict mode" as you say? Or perhaps, how I underwood it, that theyre in such "positive" mode this stuff affects them even more?
Basically, I understand your point about how when the brain waves are in "addict" mode, even innocent things could become not so innocent, but I don't see the flip side that if the brainwaves are positive then alls good. Hard for me to believe that because one is not an addict he can look at unclothed ladies all day. But I guess I'm wrong as its acceptable.

Perhaps my mind is so messed up that I think everyone is messed up(human)?
Last Edit: 15 Jul 2016 16:03 by shmirashachaim.

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 17:52 #292052

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And that's what's incredible about gye

Yaakov provides out of the box tools for us to get out of the cycle (and into the Truck), which we aren't able to accomplish ourselves with our own preconceived ideas, eg another Mussar Seder which I know how to really learn as Reb Yisrael Salanter prescribed, and nevertheless didn't help remove my lust

IMHO this is because we need to know how to live before taking the next step and practicing a religious lifestyle. What Dov sweetly calls "Derech Eretz Kadma Latorah"

GYE offers us Derech Eretz, so have the Derech Eretz and utilize it
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Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 18:30 #292053

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Mr shmirah,

May I repeat what I wrote to you the last time I posted on this thread? 
Say goodbye for a week or two.

Either way, B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 18:48 #292056

shmirashachaim wrote:

cordnoy wrote:
Based on your forum posts and our other communications, I do not think you should tell her.....not yet.

can you specify which posts and things I have said that you are referring to? Thanks!

And, you should also ask your rebbe this.

thanks. I hear.

That was because you asked.

Now, here is something I'm gonna suggest even though you didn't ask, and some might disagree with this as well: I think you should work on sobriety and stay off the forum for about a week. Then, report back.

suggestions on working on soberiety?

B'hatzlachah in whatever you do.

Amen! Thanks! And thanks for all the help!

Waiting for the suggestion.

any update on the calls? Perhaps that's the next move

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 18:52 #292057

I'm just hoping it's not SAA meetings:grimacing:

Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 19:02 #292058

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I'm only stating my unprofessional opinion here;

Skep says "tell your wife". I'm not saying you should, but shemira you must start already driving on a real recovery road and not rely entirely on this forum which seems to me an off road dirt track which only helps a select few. How many guys are like me that are clean long term with daily forum posting? Almost no one

Thats the reality

I cannot tell you to tell your wife. But if you do, and don't want to tell her 10 years down the line, then it would do you good to heed cordnoys call before another 10 years pass

Please keep us posted

I know you'll be ok and will miss you

Good Shabbos 
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Re: Starting anew. again. 15 Jul 2016 19:02 #292059

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Whatever you feel comfortable with.

My email is below.

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Starting anew. again. 21 Jul 2016 16:23 #292423

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Shemira

The other thread is gone :-(

I have been praying for you. and hope you are not gone :-)

Please keep us posted or send me your email address
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more...
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➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk

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