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New member - Colin
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Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: New member - Colin 28567 Views

Re: New member - Colin 25 Oct 2020 01:55 #356639

  • ColinColin
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I made it to one year clean.

Still have to be on guard and take each day as it comes, because even today I had the urge to fall.

But I made it to one year, even though when I joined this Forum I used to fall several times per week.

I used four main methods to keep clean:

1 - HALT.

If you are

Hungry 
Angry (Resentful)
Lonely
Tired

then you are likely to fall, because you feel down and seek a quick high.
This method is an early warning system.

2.) MINDFULNESS

Treat the urge to fall as an external thought, not an intrinsic part of you.
Like a cloud, which floats away.
This method is very useful.

3.) REPLACEMENT

Distract the urge by doing something positive.
Call a friend whom you know is lonely, study, go for a walk.

4.) WILLPOWER

Only in emergencies and only once or twice per year.
You can use all you emotional strength to confront the urge to fall head on, but this is very tiring and lasts only for about 5 minutes.
Not to be relied on, it is the least successful of the methods I have used, but it has worked for me.

Thank you Hashem, and thank you all on here who have supported and inspired me.
Last Edit: 25 Oct 2020 23:13 by ColinColin.

Re: New member - Colin 25 Oct 2020 03:47 #356645

  • Hashem Help Me
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Mazel tov! Beautiful milestone and thanks for posting what worked for you.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: New member - Colin 25 Oct 2020 12:51 #356650

  • Grant400
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Congratulations! Amazing! You are an inspiration! Thanks for sharing!

May you succeed to remain clean for year after year lasting a lifetime.

Re: New member - Colin 25 Oct 2020 13:36 #356653

  • Dave M
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Mazol Tov!  So nice to hear from you.  Missed having you around here. 

Re: New member - Colin 21 Dec 2020 06:13 #359264

  • YeshivaGuy
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ColinColin wrote on 25 Oct 2020 01:55:
I made it to one year clean.

Still have to be on guard and take each day as it comes, because even today I had the urge to fall.

But I made it to one year, even though when I joined this Forum I used to fall several times per week.

I used four main methods to keep clean:

1 - HALT.

If you are

Hungry 
Angry (Resentful)
Lonely
Tired

then you are likely to fall, because you feel down and seek a quick high.
This method is an early warning system.

2.) MINDFULNESS

Treat the urge to fall as an external thought, not an intrinsic part of you.
Like a cloud, which floats away.
This method is very useful.

3.) REPLACEMENT

Distract the urge by doing something positive.
Call a friend whom you know is lonely, study, go for a walk.

4.) WILLPOWER

Only in emergencies and only once or twice per year.
You can use all you emotional strength to confront the urge to fall head on, but this is very tiring and lasts only for about 5 minutes.
Not to be relied on, it is the least successful of the methods I have used, but it has worked for me.

Thank you Hashem, and thank you all on here who have supported and inspired me.

Wow! Hope I’m not too late to say MAZEL TOV!
You are a tremendous chizuk and inspiration!
It would be a zechus to have you around more often, we can use more veteran expertise...

Anyway, Keep shteiging!

Re: New member - Colin 25 Jan 2021 23:05 #361929

  • ColinColin
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I fell after my record clean streak of 461 days.

I was Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.

I should have seen those warning signs, in fact I was in a very unsettled mood all day, could not find any peace.
Mostly because of problems at work.

I failed to HALT.

Just shows you, one can have a long clean streak but enter the temporary spirit of insanity which Chazal tell us encourages us to sin.

I failed to remind myself that we must guard our eyes every day, instead I sought a "junk food" remedy for my unsettled spirit.

I have been in this place before, so I know what I need to do, to be nicer to myself, and to remember that Hashem put in this tricky struggle  for a reason. Not sure what that reason is, but He put me here.

Onwards and upwards!
Last Edit: 27 Jan 2021 00:02 by ColinColin.

Re: New member - Colin 25 Jan 2021 23:29 #361933

  • Grant400
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ColinColin wrote on 25 Jan 2021 23:05:
I fell after my record clean streak of 461 days.

I was Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired.

I should have seen those warning signs, in fact I was in a very unsettled mood all day, could not find any peace.
Mostly because of problems at work.

I failed to HALT.

Just shows you, one can have a long clean streak but enter the temporary spirit of insanity which Chazal tell us encourages us to sin.

I failed to remind myself that we must guard our eyes every day, instead I sought a "junk food" remedy for my unsettled spirit.

I have been on this pace before, so I know what I need to do, to be nicer to myself, and to remember that Hashem put in this tricky struggle  for a reason. Not sure what that reason is, but He put me here.

Onwards and upwards!

Wow! 461 clean days. Please don't slash all your tires because of one flat. Ahead!

Re: New member - Colin 08 Feb 2021 14:11 #362935

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Hey ColinColin, how's it going?
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: New member - Colin 02 Aug 2021 21:40 #371369

  • ColinColin
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Fell after 187 days clean.

I was Tired.

I was also very Resentful (Angry) at unfair treatment by my boss at work.

It lead me to feel very low, and to seek a fake "high."

In future I must remember to be nicer to myself and seek a high of genuine goodness.
Last Edit: 02 Aug 2021 21:40 by ColinColin.

Re: New member - Colin 03 Aug 2021 02:03 #371375

  • DavidT
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Colin, I was reading the first post in this thread and I'm genuinely amazed at your progress in this difficult struggle. I would encourage any newcomer to follow your story and gain inspiration as to how much a person can grow and change to the better.  Keep it up!
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 03 Aug 2021 02:04 by DavidT.

Re: New member - Colin 18 Oct 2021 23:06 #373406

  • ColinColin
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Fell after 74 days.


I was Resentful and Tired.


Two simultaneously out of the four key HALT triggers -



Hungry

Angry (Resentful)

Loney

Tired



The scary things are:



1.) I did not even try to stop myself from falling.



2.) And I was resentful against Hashem for something that did not go "my way".



I feel ashamed.



I have to now be humble and thankful for what Hashem has given me and know that the thing I wanted was not meant for me, for reasons I cannot understand and am not meant to know.



I have a lot of Teshuva to do.
Last Edit: 18 Oct 2021 23:09 by ColinColin.
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