Read once, then minimize to save screen space.

Forum Overview

Post on the forum to get support, tell your story and reach out for help when feeling weak!

You will never be alone in this struggle again.

The GYE forum is anonymous platform of group support, and a life-line of chizuk for hundreds of people in exactly your situation. 

To use the forum you need to first become a member of the site, sign up here.

After signing up to the site, go to the forum, enter one of our boards and press "New Topic" to begin posting! 

Welcome, Guest
Welcome to our forum! Introduce yourself here (anonymously, of course) and get a warm welcome from the rest of the community!

TOPIC: hello 6605 Views

Re: hello 24 Nov 2015 04:24 #269480

  • goodchange613
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 98
  • Karma: 9
day 70!
had a slip the other day but otherwise doin great. really working on my marriage and it's like magic how just changing my attitude and how i just work on my actions and the effect it has had so far, i still have a ways to go but it's been a great start.

Here's are the details of what I've been doing:
1)First I just started with eye contact. Once I focused on it I realized how little eye contact I had been having with her before that. This made me feel a little more connected to her and helped me really focus on what she says.

2)Started sending thank you texts almost every day for something she did the day before.

3)I really worked on using "I Love you" much more often from texts or calls during the day and then progressing to saying it to her every time i leave the house.

4)Started buying flowers EVERY friday and I try to write a short poem.

5)Started giving her a kiss or non-sexual touch every so often (hardly did it before)

Anyway so far it's been great, my wife didnt suddenly start falling all over me but I def feel that shes more happy and theres more energy in our marriage

Re: hello 24 Nov 2015 19:21 #269533

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 131
goodchange613 wrote:
day 70!
had a slip the other day but otherwise doin great. really working on my marriage and it's like magic how just changing my attitude and how i just work on my actions and the effect it has had so far, i still have a ways to go but it's been a great start.

Here's are the details of what I've been doing:
1)First I just started with eye contact. Once I focused on it I realized how little eye contact I had been having with her before that. This made me feel a little more connected to her and helped me really focus on what she says.

2)Started sending thank you texts almost every day for something she did the day before.

3)I really worked on using "I Love you" much more often from texts or calls during the day and then progressing to saying it to her every time i leave the house.

4)Started buying flowers EVERY friday and I try to write a short poem.

5)Started giving her a kiss or non-sexual touch every so often (hardly did it before)

Anyway so far it's been great, my wife didnt suddenly start falling all over me but I def feel that shes more happy and theres more energy in our marriage


wow! amazing progress! kutGR8w!
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: hello 25 Nov 2015 07:04 #269606

  • goodchange613
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 98
  • Karma: 9
thank you

Re: hello 04 Dec 2015 05:31 #270403

  • goodchange613
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 98
  • Karma: 9
80 days!
UNBELIEVABLE how time flies when your doing the 90 days!!

I still cant believe thats its been almost 3 months since i joined the site!

Thank you to everyone here whose active on the forums, chat and available on the phone. To join the site and see how everyone just cares for you and really wants to help you has been amazing.

For anyone who doesnt know about it yet, i must recommend the series of 7 lectures from Aryeh Pamensky's seminar on marriage, it's amazingly clear and he gives a ton a practical very easy to implement tools to create love and closeness in marriage

Re: hello 04 Dec 2015 12:16 #270419

  • cordnoy
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11281
  • Karma: 521
goodchange613 wrote:
80 days!
UNBELIEVABLE how time flies when your doing the 90 days!!

I still cant believe thats its been almost 3 months since i joined the site!

Thank you to everyone here whose active on the forums, chat and available on the phone. To join the site and see how everyone just cares for you and really wants to help you has been amazing.

For anyone who doesnt know about it yet, i must recommend the series of 7 lectures from Aryeh Pamensky's seminar on marriage, it's amazingly clear and he gives a ton a practical very easy to implement tools to create love and closeness in marriage


He talks a lot about communication.....hint, hint...

Kot

B'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: hello 14 Dec 2015 05:04 #271207

  • goodchange613
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 98
  • Karma: 9
had a tough week
today was 90th day
i fell
was flying high
crashed
going to start again
today is day 1

Re: hello 14 Dec 2015 05:31 #271209

  • serenity
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • "ONE DAY AT A TIME"
  • Posts: 1786
  • Karma: 167
goodchange613 wrote:
had a tough week
today was 90th day
i fell
was flying high
crashed
going to start again
today is day 1


Many of us have shared similar experiences. Welcome back on track! Oh and thanks for saying where you were holding. A lot of people say they fell, but not where they were holding. How can anyone respond without that basic info and personally I don'r keep a spread sheet of everyone's count. Maybe Cordnoy does
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: hello 14 Dec 2015 12:47 #271236

  • cordnoy
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11281
  • Karma: 521
goodchange613 wrote:
had a tough week
today was 90th day
i fell
was flying high
crashed
going to start again
today is day 1


sorry to hear that.
it can be tough.
we dust ourselves off, however, and see where we can take another step.
you are determined, so that's good b"H.

Focus on today.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: hello 14 Dec 2015 15:13 #271243

  • Shlomo24
  • Current streak: 1 day
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2213
  • Karma: 131
that must be painful. ODAAT
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: hello 15 Dec 2015 00:31 #271325

goodchange613 wrote:
AlexEliezer wrote:
Good stuff!
Thanks for the update.
How fortunate that you're taking care of this at a young age.

I thank hashem every day that i found this site so quickly (23 married 3 years acting out for about 2 years) at the rate that i was going who knows what would have happened if not for gye.
just the fact that i was not alone was a huge boost for me


I'm in a similar situation. 25, married 4 years with 1 kid. Iv'e been struggling for a long time, but thankfully it has never progressed to anything beyond porn and masturbation (not that those are small things, but still). I thank Hashem for allowing me to find this site which has a mechaye and Iv'e been clean since I started coming on here!


had a tough week
today was 90th day
i fell
was flying high
crashed
going to start again
today is day 1


Unbelievable how hard the Y"H will fight to rob you of the satisfaction of getting to day 90! But if you pick yourself up and continue counting then really you're the one who won this battle!
Feel free to email me at BenTorah.BaalHabayis@gmail.com

1 day may be too long for me, but I take it OWAAT = One wave at a time, cause the lust comes and goes like a wave which rises and crashes.

Re: hello 15 Dec 2015 02:19 #271329

  • yiraishamaim
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 1016
  • Karma: 100
Mixed emotions/mixed lessons

made to 90 - YaY - you KNOW that steady success recovery is very real to you

fell - depressing - your program has some hole/holes you must tweak

However, the balance sheet is way in the positive side.

Kol Tuv

Re: hello 15 Dec 2015 16:17 #271377

  • gibbor120
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • NEVER EVER GIVE UP!
  • Posts: 5250
  • Karma: 158
MAZAL TOV! KUTGW!

Re: hello 30 May 2018 03:38 #331525

  • cordnoy
  • NOW ONLINE
  • Moderator
  • I'm sailin', for I've got to be free
  • Posts: 11281
  • Karma: 521
Nu......
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: hello 31 May 2018 03:32 #331565

  • goodchange613
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Expert Boarder
  • Posts: 98
  • Karma: 9
yawn....i was napping so nicely, who just woke me up? 
oh its just cords bumping a ancient thread again...turn over 
 
Time to create page: 0.58 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes