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My Story - Thank Gd
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Re: My Story - Thank Gd 14 Apr 2019 20:04 #340586

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Ooomain!!!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...



"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."


"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."


- General Grant





My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 21 May 2019 17:02 #341346

  • Markz
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On Apr 19, Sidewayz wrote:

I heard from a huge Rav that if there are 2 people, one who’s cool, outgoing and very good with people, and the other is more cold and closed off from people then the 2  type person is much more prone to sex addiction. His reasoning is that the whole addiction is we are looking for relationship/ connection and a cool outgoing person is “less” likely to need sex to fill this void. So yea  this rav holds that the solution is a persons gotta develops relationships with others and deepen family relationships (A MUST) and that’s the key to recovery.

Fwi I struggle with social anxiety and feel uncomfortable around people, the more I pushed outside my comfort zone with family and friends the more I feel happier and fulfilled and i don’t need to act out to fill this void.


Maybe we should meet somewhere, if we share some similarities:-)

And what your rebbi said?
It’s mefurash in the video - in my sig below

Hatzlacha
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Last Edit: 21 May 2019 17:05 by Markz.

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 01 Jun 2020 18:51 #350629

  • Markz
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My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: I'm an Aspie (neurotypicals are invited too) 18 Dec 2020 04:30 #359037

  • YeshivaGuy
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markz wrote on 11 Nov 2015 21:29:
בס״ד An open letter to all the guys - including you!!
Here's my belated introduction and follow up


BH I have made many many friends on the forum - some via PMs and on occasion even with my real name (I almost forgot it)

Made it to 90 Days!!!

It would be unfair for me single out some names, when my appreciation for SO MANY OF YOU GUYS is just... I don't know how to express it - YOU GUYS ARE THE GREATEST!!
As an Aspie I'm not the greatest communicator - sometimes too sharp or too vague, and often say the wrong thing on the forum. I want to ask forgiveness to anyone I may have offended (and I know I have).

Once Upon A Time - Lust:
I had been fighting / struggling with Porn and M* from my teen years age 14 or 15. First with magazines, then more recently with web accessible devices. I was never addicted to chase after this, but my struggle was unbearable. I could never defeat the temptation when it arose

Who cares?
After falls I would feel terrible, or something bad would happen to me / my kid... (Like someone else on this forum experiences too). For a struggler like me the best thing is that bad feeling and the fear of repercussion. Its THE only thing that got me onto gye.com, and I read other people's posts that have mentioned the same. It's what pushes us to try the next tool of the many offered (Pls click on my signature)

Prophecy to fools:
14 months ago October 2014 - The end of Aseres Yemei Tshuva 5775, I was walking to shul and passed a snake on the road that had been driven over by a car (no of course a truck!).
What went through my mind? 10 days is possibly a reflection for the coming year, and this dead snake was signifying that the YH is gonna be dead at the end of the year. I had this premonition, but I didn't have a clue what it was about.
Zoom forward to August 2015 - the end of the year 5775, Three months ago - and it happened. Screeeeeeeecccchhhh YH DEAD!!
I found GYE!!!
No, don't worry, I'm not dead, my YH is alive and kicking, but the struggle is totally under control with the following tools.

Gd knows what's truly going on, but these are the tools I noticed on my ride

My Tools


1) The Forum
I put this one first because I feel that has been the greatest game changer for me.
My mindset has totally morphed, to view women as people - it's incredible.
Today I heared a cute girl at work laugh. That would have been a turn on previously. Now I heard someone laugh, and I'm happy for them that they don't need to stress the whole day...

And I believe it's because of
1- Reading and thanking Many Many terrific poster's ramblings
2- My posting too much...
Posting 7 or 8 posts a day
I feel a sense of responsibility to share my advice / experience to other posts, and also to keep the humor section fresh (it really pains me that almost no one regularly posts there besides for myself and the צדיק peloni almoni. Is everyone in the bar-ditch-ev?)

2) Restrictions
a- Time: Good nite device calendar
b- YouTube: Only access for work purposes
c- Devices
PC: Web Monitoring program or whitelist, (filtering is irrelevant, as I have overridden every regular filter and perhaps you too).
Mobile Devices: Mobile phone Locked AppStore, and active legitimate apps only (eg no skype and wattsapp. If you ask me to explain why, you'll be risking having to remove them too)

3) Get a Life
a- Exercise twice weekly
b- Keep busy. Being productive in my work, learning a few Jewish words when possible. Spend time with the wife. Posting on the forum. Breathe...
My time management sucks - like a regular aspie. I don't learn, daven at all like I should. I always feel pressured to put overtime into my work... Yeah I hope to discuss this with my therapist (A great one - a woman - not Jewish)

4) Aspie Therapy
I have regular sessions with an Asperger therapist, primarily to help me communicate with 'objects' - other people at work in shul... primarily my 'object' from Venus (my great wife).
I think this may have helped me too, to see 'objects' as people = social awareness etiquette and all the silly neurotypical stuff
For those asking what is Aspergers? Go to this link HERE


ברוב שבח והודאה להקב״ה
I want to repeat again to each and every one of you. First the Gevaldigge administrators, the unassuming Moderators, and all the boarders
Thank you for allowing me in, so I can grow, and for giving me the opportunity to also save at least one other Jewish brother once for one minute.

Hatzlacha to you on your journey


Mark

Amazing. I have no words.
Thank you 

Re: I'm an Aspie (neurotypicals are invited too) 12 Feb 2021 06:16 #363219

  • YeshivaGuy
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Is R’ Markz almost at day 200?! Wow such a Simcha! Why not let us know how you’ve done been matzliach lately? Whatever ur comfortable with.
Im truly impressed by you and appreciate your presence here
Last Edit: 12 Feb 2021 15:44 by YeshivaGuy.

Re: My Story. Thank Gd 15 Feb 2021 01:59 #363371

  • Markz
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YeshivaGuy wrote on 12 Feb 2021 06:16:
Is R’ Markz almost at day 200?! Wow such a Simcha! Why not let us know how you’ve done been matzliach lately? Whatever ur comfortable with.
Im truly impressed by you and appreciate your presence here

Thanks for asking.
I haven’t updated my log. It’s +-250 days. 

My main struggle was late nights which still persists. What I found that really helps me is to find a bunch of entertaining lectures / podcasts and hit the play button before the clock strikes 12 and that has really kept me out of the zone of Kosher/YouTubing so thank Gd for that. 

On another front there’s serious stuff mr Karl is dealing with and sharing with one of the residents here - thanks mr anonymous for the short call today as always.

Have a great one YG!
▶️ 
My Story---------Dov Quotes




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Re: My Story. Thank Gd 22 Apr 2021 13:17 #367276

  • Shteeble
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I never figure out the podcast thing. It always confuses me. Which app do you use for podcasts? 

Re: My Story. Thank Gd 22 Apr 2021 13:58 #367281

  • Hakolhevel
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Shteeble wrote on 22 Apr 2021 13:17:
I never figure out the podcast thing. It always confuses me. Which app do you use for podcasts? 

If you have iphone use apple podcasts of you have android use google podcasts. There are also tons of other apps that do podcasts, but those two definitely work.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Story. Thank Gd 22 Apr 2021 21:26 #367297

Shteeble wrote on 22 Apr 2021 13:17:
I never figure out the podcast thing. It always confuses me. Which app do you use for podcasts? 

YidPod is in some sort of beta state so has its issues but also has an insane amount of content and everything is jewish its what i use personally
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Feel free to contact me at evedhashem1836@gmail.com
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