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My Story - Thank Gd
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TOPIC: My Story - Thank Gd 105512 Views

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 27 Dec 2017 20:33 #324288

By the Arabs the bigger the burp the better the compliment 
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h


guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 28 Dec 2017 04:49 #324331

  • lionking
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MayanHamisgaber wrote on 27 Dec 2017 19:43:

ieeyc wrote on 27 Dec 2017 19:26:

MayanHamisgaber wrote on 27 Dec 2017 18:05:
I got married 4 years ago
My rebbiem taught me to say I love you always

my rebi taught me to say plain i love you

LK is correct that I meant to always say it 

But I do not understand why horses have anything to do with this

It's an expression, meaning there is only so much you can help or train a person, the rest he got figure out on his own...
I got married over a decade ago so perhaps there is a new trend in Chussen Shiurim which I am missing. However it reminds me of a joke some batchen once repeated about this shlimazel which always messed up every bshoa (in house date) he went on. One day the Shadchan sat down with him and trained him every step of the way. Finally after a few trail runs, the Shadchan felt confident that this time he got it right. 
At the bshoa there was a large vase with open handles. The boy stuck his hand through the handles in order to give Shulem...
When the Shadchan asked him about it, he explained that he was never taught not to do that...
Somethings cannot be taught...
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 28 Dec 2017 05:07 #324332

  • lionking
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BTW, I totally recommend Gary Chapman's book, The Five Languages of Love. There is more than one way to express love.
Hatzlocha Rabba
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 10 Jan 2018 23:56 #325218

  • Markz
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I resign myself to the esteemed title of Mr Relapse.

I'm 'addicted' to tubing clean videos even in the thick of the winter - "deep snow youtubing"

There's certain types of clean action videos that i enjoy watching and I do 2x weekly, but not every week. I try not to, but it happens... I think lionking, eslaasos and others do too

But outa the corner of my eye I noticed a triggering image a few days ago. Last night I was like let's find another clean video with that image. No porn, just a borderline 'kosher' video. When I start fishing I sometimes land a killer whale which ate me alive.

It's likely that if I'd have posted at 12am that I'm on a Fall Roll it may have caught me in time

What happened yesterday I'm upset about but can forget about -I can't believe it was me acting out last night... it wasn't Markz - it must have been an im-poster.

Forgetfullness is sometimes a good thing...

If it was upto me, I'd separate sobriety counts for daytime lusting and for midnight online offenses, as I believe they need different solutions

One of the solutions was the midnight calendar which I rebooted now

Not sure this post is so thought out, yet I am posting today and now because otherwise I'm sure to repeat this mornings escapade in the next 10 minutes to 5 hrs

Thanks for reading, because if today I'm clean it's because of you my chaver
My Story---------Dov Quotes


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Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 00:41 #325221

  • Akeke
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Hi Markz - I am not sure if you are looking for a solution to this relapse episodes. I've been in the past experiencing the exact same struggle and felt into the exact same traps. Namely, Starting off with a clean video, and slowly slowly sliding until hitting the point of no return. It almost feel like "Unintentional Sin" like if its happening beyond our control.

It's good to say that, and a good trick to stay out of depression which can only makes things worse...

But in reality they are practical solutions which can help tremendously.. They've helped me, and still are...
You see, the worse part about this "tubing clean videos" (as you call it) is that its a slow process that results in the same devastating outcome. And I always use to say to myself, not only I wasted semen (reproductive fluid) but I also wasted 2 hours of my life. Whereas other people go straight to the point and wrap up the same sin in 5 minutes!

Here's what I came up with:

- I came to the realization that time is the most precious commodity I have, and if you don't believe so, or you have a lot of free time, you should pack your schedule to have close to Zero free time, because this is my #1 enemy. Free time leads to Boredom, and Boredom leads to sin.

I then adopted numerous other rules such as:

- Not allowed to be on my phone while in bed, even watching "clean videos"
- No phone in the bathroom

I basically learnt how to not trust myself. And I feel so strong. I have more rules but lets take it easy

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 00:53 #325223

  • Hakolhevel
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Markz. We are here for you chaver. Although I don't know how much that means to you as you know me as hakolhevel . 

P.s if you want my advice
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 01:13 #325224

  • Hakolhevel
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Markz wrote on 08 Jan 2018 18:08:

iampowerless wrote on 07 Jan 2018 19:37:
Hi everyone i have a scary question which is scaring me i see 2 types of people on GYE there are some who quit for really long periods of time some even over 200 days but then they relapse and don't seem to be able to get back up, others once they reach such high numbers they never look back they just keep on climbing to unbelievable numbers how do i make sure to be part of those as opposed to the other ones? it's a really scary thought reaching 200 days and then falling, even though i'm sure god is proud of what he did. Still it's got to be really depressing

And I 'relapsed' after 600 days and BH am doing well (I think)

The answer to your question is;
People are not made of lego. We are human. Each man has his own story like no other. Many have childhood abuse and there's many other factors

This why what works for 1 won't work for a different guy. For example calling a chaver doesn't make everyone sober. It helps a few, and many more as a stepping stone...

So stop worrying about relapse, get on the Truck and Make today great again!!

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 01:27 #325229

  • Workingguy
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Markz wrote on 10 Jan 2018 23:56:
I resign myself to the esteemed title of Mr Relapse.

I'm 'addicted' to tubing clean videos even in the thick of the winter - "deep snow youtubing"

There's certain types of clean action videos that i enjoy watching and I do 2x weekly, but not every week. I try not to, but it happens... I think lionking, eslaasos and others do too

But outa the corner of my eye I noticed a triggering image a few days ago. Last night I was like let's find another clean video with that image. No porn, just a borderline 'kosher' video. When I start fishing I sometimes land a killer whale which ate me alive.

It's likely that if I'd have posted at 12am that I'm on a Fall Roll it may have caught me in time

What happened yesterday I'm upset about but can forget about -I can't believe it was me acting out last night... it wasn't Markz - it must have been an im-poster.

Forgetfullness is sometimes a good thing...

If it was upto me, I'd separate sobriety counts for daytime lusting and for midnight online offenses, as I believe they need different solutions

One of the solutions was the midnight calendar which I rebooted now

Not sure this post is so thought out, yet I am posting today and now because otherwise I'm sure to repeat this mornings escapade in the next 10 minutes to 5 hrs

Thanks for reading, because if today I'm clean it's because of you my chaver

I don’t have YouTube anymore because there’s no way I’d survive with it. Way too many “kosher” things I want to see that would send the lust flying. It’s boring as hell, but I don’t see another way. YouTube is amazing and endless- the stuff you can see there without being on a porn site is out of control.

Would you think about no YT?

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 01:38 #325231

  • lionking
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P.s if you want my advice
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

I guess you don't know which lego vidoes I tend to watch 
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 02:05 #325238

  • lionking
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Markz wrote on 10 Jan 2018 23:56:

There's certain types of clean action videos that i enjoy watching and I do 2x weekly, but not every week. I try not to, but it happens... I think lionking, eslaasos and others do too

Thanks for the mention. I can totally relate. Even tough I have moved on from videos for the most part. Never really was a youtuber, I still have certain clean activities which I do every few weeks, that lead to a fall slowly over time.
Markz wrote on 10 Jan 2018 23:56:

One of the solutions was the midnight calendar which I rebooted now


I second that. I need a no phone in the bathroom chart.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 03:20 #325249

  • Gevura Shebyesod
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Hakolhevel wrote on 11 Jan 2018 01:13:

Markz wrote on 08 Jan 2018 18:08:

iampowerless wrote on 07 Jan 2018 19:37:
Hi everyone i have a scary question which is scaring me i see 2 types of people on GYE there are some who quit for really long periods of time some even over 200 days but then they relapse and don't seem to be able to get back up, others once they reach such high numbers they never look back they just keep on climbing to unbelievable numbers how do i make sure to be part of those as opposed to the other ones? it's a really scary thought reaching 200 days and then falling, even though i'm sure god is proud of what he did. Still it's got to be really depressing

And I 'relapsed' after 600 days and BH am doing well (I think)

The answer to your question is;
People are not made of lego. We are human. Each man has his own story like no other. Many have childhood abuse and there's many other factors

This why what works for 1 won't work for a different guy. For example calling a chaver doesn't make everyone sober. It helps a few, and many more as a stepping stone...

So stop worrying about relapse, get on the Truck and Make today great again!!

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 06:10 #325263

Markz wrote on 10 Jan 2018 23:56:
I resign myself to the esteemed title of Mr Relapse.

I'm 'addicted' to tubing clean videos even in the thick of the winter - "deep snow youtubing"

There's certain types of clean action videos that i enjoy watching and I do 2x weekly, but not every week. I try not to, but it happens... I think lionking, eslaasos and others do too

But outa the corner of my eye I noticed a triggering image a few days ago. Last night I was like let's find another clean video with that image. No porn, just a borderline 'kosher' video. When I start fishing I sometimes land a killer whale which ate me alive.

It's likely that if I'd have posted at 12am that I'm on a Fall Roll it may have caught me in time

What happened yesterday I'm upset about but can forget about -I can't believe it was me acting out last night... it wasn't Markz - it must have been an im-poster.

Forgetfullness is sometimes a good thing...

If it was upto me, I'd separate sobriety counts for daytime lusting and for midnight online offenses, as I believe they need different solutions

One of the solutions was the midnight calendar which I rebooted now

Not sure this post is so thought out, yet I am posting today and now because otherwise I'm sure to repeat this mornings escapade in the next 10 minutes to 5 hrs

Thanks for reading, because if today I'm clean it's because of you my chaver

Markz 
Thank you for your honesty. I got a lot of chizuk from this post ( in a very selfish way ) especially from the fact that you can be "open" with us about a fall which is something I still have hard time recuperating from. You are from the wonderful people here that i regularly  learn from and get a constant chizuk from albeit not always what I want to here but what I NEED to here.

Thank you 
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h


guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 12:24 #325269

  • Hashem Help Me
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Mayan, you and Markz both need to be applauded for your honesty. It is an inspiration for everyone that you are transparent and courageous in sharing being human. Secondly, you both keep on trucking - a lesson to us all.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 12:41 #325270

Thank you for the compliment 
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
my thread:guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/300426-I-will-make-it-bh">I will make it b"h


guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: My Story - Thank Gd 11 Jan 2018 15:46 #325278

  • ieeyc
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לב  טהור   ברא   לי   אלקים , ורוח  נכון    חדש  בקרבי

  to all my friends who heeded my request  to be so generous and give me a negative karma  for the sake of me acquiring       
                                                . humility ,i humbly  thank you                                                                                                 

Last Edit: 19 Jan 2018 06:04 by ieeyc.
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