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Free Choice?!!
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TOPIC: Free Choice?!! 32840 Views

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Apr 2015 23:33 #253476

  • Bigmoish
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You did a good job starting and continuing this thread, but I guess it would be nice to have you formally introduce yourself.
Oh, and
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
FAQ's (Great for newcomers!!!)
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!
Last Edit: 29 Apr 2015 23:33 by Bigmoish.

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Apr 2015 23:37 #253477

  • TheBigX90
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Ya, I meant both ideas. I meant that you have bechira to avoid the triggers so that you dont even have the struggle & you also have bechira the same way to snap yourself out of it while the picture comes up by doing something about it, ie. going into a public are etc. although, the better method is to set up boundaries for yourself that you don't have to deal with these issues constantly, ie. web chaver, white listing filter etc. Though, I'd like to say from expierience that no filters are perfect & unfortunately there are ways around every filter. Therefore, one must daven to hashem that He may help him set up good boundaries & overcome this battle.

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Apr 2015 23:39 #253478

  • stillgoing
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I guess I'm not so good after all because I can't figure out what the warning -------- OH I just got it! you're supposed to click on it to see what it says. I guess I didn't have my coffee today.
Thanks for the formal welcome and
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Apr 2015 23:44 #253479

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TheBigX90
I like that. Thank you. Because it really seems sometimes that when we are smack in the middle of a Test we really can't stop ourselves, but the truth is that very often even if our brain can't/won't send the message to the eyes to turn away, it will often send a separate message to our legs to just get up - completely ignoring what we are in the middle of doing and walk away. It's not fighting the nisyoin, it's taking a different track and simply walking away.
So, I guess that would be a form of free choice too. Thanks.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 29 Apr 2015 23:55 #253481

  • Bigmoish
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Yes you did. Took some guys here years to figure out that there was something under the spoiler. Congratulations, Sherlock.
FAQ's (Great for newcomers!!!)
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Free Choice?!! 30 Apr 2015 00:08 #253483

  • TheBigX90
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hi BigMoish,
since I'm new to this forum I'm not exactly sure how to do it, How do I add a thread? Thanks in advance

Re: Free Choice?!! 30 Apr 2015 00:12 #253488

  • Bigmoish
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Just click "new topic" on the top of this page.
FAQ's (Great for newcomers!!!)
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Free Choice?!! 30 Apr 2015 21:09 #253589

  • stillgoing
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"This small thing that leads to great things works so well in the positive

Here's just a few

- many people(not all) would not have a developed a lust addiction to begin with had they just put filters on there devices from the very beginning
- by learning just to avoid our own obvious triggers we avoid many major inner conflicts and urges to engage in self-destructive acts
- by participating for a short time daily on the forum we gain enormously
- just by reading a little the handbook daily imparts in us enormous helpful truths
- one short call to a sponsor can catch a fall so the streak of sobriety can continue"


Thanks yiraishamaim
How true. Just like we say "one day at a time", meaning each day is important enough to look at by it's self so too each action is important enough to look at by it'sself. in other words - #smallthingsmatter
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 30 Apr 2015 21:12 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 30 Apr 2015 21:13 #253591

  • yiraishamaim
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Thank you

your thoughts and kind words are appreciated more than you know!

Re: Free Choice?!! 01 May 2015 02:27 #253627

  • serenity
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“I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.

walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.”


― Portia Nelson, There's a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery


We have a choice not to walk down that road, that is why we are responsible even when we don't have bechirah. Choose the road of happy destiny chaver.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Free Choice?!! 03 May 2015 14:05 #253735

  • stillgoing
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Thank you serenity. That essay is Good! If it was shorter I would put it on my signature.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Free Choice?!! 03 May 2015 15:56 #253742

It seems all the streets I travel through have many large holes. I may have to move to a new city or ask hkbh for a helicopter to fly me above the dangerous neighbourhoods.

Re: Free Choice?!! 03 May 2015 19:54 #253758

  • stillgoing
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It seems all the streets I travel through have many large holes. I may have to move to a new city or ask hkbh for a helicopter to fly me above the dangerous neighbourhoods.


True enough, but you know, if another street is not an option, because they all have holes in them, then maybe we need bigger shoes to be able to step right over those dark holes.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 03 May 2015 20:24 by stillgoing.

Re: Free Choice?!! 03 May 2015 20:04 #253759

I was thinking about that but I am too scared to take on the challenge even with weapons, I want to find a way to avoid the situation completely. Maybe when I have some long term sobriety and I am not easy prey to any slight sight to fall into a deep lust abyss, I will try using a great big monster truck with massive tires that will cruise right over the holes. Right now, I barely have a little scooter.

Re: Free Choice?!! 03 May 2015 20:21 #253762

  • yiraishamaim
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Work on the fundamentals

Stay away as best you can from obvious triggers. All triggers? One can never stay away from just as the compulsive eater cannot stay away from all tempting foods.

Do a significant hishtadlus and then "LIVE AND LET G-D - TAKE OVER"

You will get there just like so many before you.

Hang in there buddy! ENOUGH THINKING!

{Take a chill pill. It's not supposed to make so much sense. It's a miracle for G-d's sake!}
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