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From tragedy to redemption
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TOPIC: From tragedy to redemption 54880 Views

Re: From tragedy to redemption 17 Apr 2015 14:45 #252502

  • serenity
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Isn't it amazing how it works if someone honestly seeks help before a fall instead of after one?!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 17 Apr 2015 14:52 #252504

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newaction wrote:
Baruch Hashem that no falls were reported by you.I got real worried.
About the tzaros that you keep on writing; we are really sorry for whatever it is that you are dealing with and i definitely and with all my heart empathize with you and your family.My youngest son since the first day he was born was very sick; he was in a really bad situation ; besides treatments , operations and transplants that i never new existed . In those days all was dark for me and my wife ; for months she had to be at the hospital day and night , he was a baby that needed to nurse or have mothers milk . In short our lives were changed like america . There is an America before 9/11 and there is another america after 9/11. Our lives were one way before he was born and were different totally afterwards.
I am saying all this that looking backwards we realized that there was always "Chesed" in every "Din". Things were bad and dark but always there was a little light at the end or at the beginning of the tunnel.
What i would like to say is this , do not take the "tzara" or "tzaros" personally and sentimentally.Dont say "Oy Vey , what now ?" " Oy why me ? Hashem is paying me all the bad ". That is all nonsense . Always do what you have to do and thats all. Without interpretations or philosophical debates. Stand firm with your two legs apart ready to deal with anything life throws at you and having total trust that you will overcome it. And,trust me , overcome it you will. הצלחה ברוחניות ובגשמיות.


Amen

Re: From tragedy to redemption 17 Apr 2015 14:54 #252505

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serenity wrote:
Isn't it amazing how it works if someone honestly seeks help before a fall instead of after one?!


I see it as a fall.

Of course there are worse falls and smaller falls but if we aren't sensitive to fall level a then we are inviting fall level b to sensitize us.

This is actually what you are saying.(I think)

Re: From tragedy to redemption 20 Apr 2015 21:22 #252692

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Hi Hashiva , you have not posted lately. I would like to express my feelings about your person, your courage and honesty. And your determination to have things done the right way and time is not the pressing matter. Your 3 days on your chart are most valuable and precious ; they come from an honest heart; you are a true
"אוהב ימים" and your reward will be "לראות טוב". Keep up your excellent work , your growing pains are worth it because you are the one who is growing, the pains will stay in the past. Hatzlacha !

Re: From tragedy to redemption 20 Apr 2015 21:26 #252693

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dittos

I am also wondering/concerned about him. He means a lot to so many. I pray he is well.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 20 Apr 2015 21:51 #252702

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All is said, moreover in a very beautiful way.. Thank you newaction and yiraishamaim for these words that really are emet.

May we have good news from him as soon as possible..!

Re: From tragedy to redemption 21 Apr 2015 02:18 #252717

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From what you were saying and because I didn't see your chart reset, I didn't think it was a fall. The main thing is what you considered it, because you know yourself. It takes a lot of courage and honesty to to admit a fall and reset your date, especially when I think you had plenty of basis to cut yourself some slack. The standard you are setting for yourself will hopefully give you a stronger foundation. It also takes a lot of strength and courage to get back up again. So thanks for showing us courage, strength and honesty!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 07:58 #253291

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King Solomon said : שבע יפול צדיק וקם . Hashivali be strong you are worth it.
Hatzlacha !

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 11:55 #253302

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Hashiva, how's it going?
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 14:08 #253310

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Newaction and Serenity, thanks for thinking of me.

I quote myself in my first response that I made to you Newaction in the beginning of this thread. "You are very intuitive." Your words of chizuk "שבע יפול צדיק וקם . Hashivali be strong you are worth it." given to me at just this time are close to a display of clairvoyance. You will excuse it of course as 'simply' being a caring brother. I agree with that too. Yes I had a fall last night. I gained nothing by it, only lost. If I would know what lesson to learn...

I will say that by maariv I davened that Hashem help me not to fall and he did in a way which humbles me - that I tried to fall more after that, but didn't succeed because it simply didn't work out. Hashem saved me. But I tried to, so it still requires 'vahashem yislach'.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 15:31 #253315

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Aderaba ! for sure i am a caring brother but the clairvoyance ... who knows

Ok so i think we have to get out of some cycle here. The AA book in page xxix (4th edition) explains the bad cycle of the addict which he starts feeling RID > then he acts out, goes in a "spree".> Then he feels remorseful, regret > then he makes a resoulution "never again" > then he feels RID , then he acts out ...This is why life is unmanageable (in one of the many ways).

So where do you think we can brake the cycle ? Probably at the beginning when feeling RID.Remember this important "klal gadol" Acting out comes always as a solution to a feeling or emotion that is characteristic of a "down" . This is the place where you short-circuit the cycle and deal with the sadness, RID, etc. in a better or correct way .Not by acting out.

The bad cycle is a product of our sickness and ingrained in our habitual way of problem solving . We have practiced this for years . Now we will learn a new way. Since it is new it needs practice and yes ... falling.
So now you get up Hashiva . I am sure that if you think enough and try you will learn which lesson to learn, only you could do that for yourself. Now ...
Hatzlacha in your Journey !!! We are holding your hand with an arm around your arm and telling you "Chazak ! , we believe you can do it " .

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 16:08 #253319

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RID? What's that?

I am not in this cycle(I don't think I am). I am not on a spree. I b'h cut it short. I am not saying never again because I don't really know that that is true - after all I hoped it wouldn't happen this time but it did.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 16:13 #253320

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Hashiva

Remember how many continuous days of sobriety you had before that first fall(questionable one)
If that can be accomplished - then you can surely pick yourself up and start achieving.
You know that on an intellectual level I am certain.
Emotionally however, you may still be struggling.
I am a big believer when that happens that a little emotional pick me up can swing you back into the positive, hopeful groove.
Perhaps a long walk on a beautiful day and view the beauty of nature. Music - visit a close friend that will give you face to face communication and hopefully some humor.
Everyone is different - with me this helps big time.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 16:29 #253321

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Hashivalisesonyishecho wrote:
RID? What's that?

I am not in this cycle(I don't think I am). I am not on a spree. I b'h cut it short. I am not saying never again because I don't really know that that is true - after all I hoped it wouldn't happen this time but it did.


RID- Restless,Irritability, Discontent.

Re: From tragedy to redemption 28 Apr 2015 16:36 #253322

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I certainly have RID, and I wish I could find a way to get rid of it.
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