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Glad to be here
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TOPIC: Glad to be here 83331 Views

Re: Glad to be here 17 Aug 2015 00:12 #261891

  • serenity
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My ego is preventing me from erasing this comment before I submit it. Instead of erasing it, I'm going to hide it in a spoiler. I'm in an irritable mood and just wanted to vent a bit, so don't click on the spoiler unless you want to hear my negativity.



:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


My comment aside, there is a valuable lesson for recovery here. It's pretty hard not to click on the spoiler, especially when I warn you not to. It's that similar negative approach to sobriety that just doesn't seem to help much of anyone.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 17 Aug 2015 02:24 #261899

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I clicked "thank you," but my gut reaction is really "I hate you."
The truth hurts.
Handbook | Skep's Tips
My threads:
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/236327-Bigmoish-tries-to-be-good
www.guardyoureyes.com/forum/4-On-the-Way-to-90-Days/236329-Bigmoishs-path-to-tahara

"Expectation is the mother of frustration" - gibbor120
"Today, damn it! Today!" - cordnoy
"Desiring is not a sin at all, but just a sign that you are not dead yet" - Dov
"We are our own worst observer" - eslaasos's therapist
WDHW!!!

Re: Glad to be here 17 Aug 2015 02:30 #261900

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Thanks, you just made my day . And as long as my Karma doesn't do down you're safe
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 17 Aug 2015 21:11 #261988

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Woow!
Karma Down?
No way!
Karma up
Is what I say!

Bigmoish
The truth hurts.

I wouldn't say that it hurts, because hidden in there he gave a way out of going to meetings - another excuse, I can just say that I'm not addicted. There may not be an easy way out, but then there seems to be no way out, which can work just fine for someone addicted woops, I just said that I'm not addicted. I guess I eco BigMoish's words, "The truth hurts"
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Glad to be here 20 Aug 2015 04:18 #262357

  • serenity
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Highly recommended to listen to this recording of Shais Taub. Dial 209-255-1099 access code 637207# recording number 15. Or you can listen to it here

guardyoureyes.com/GYEFiles/MP3s/Rabbi%20Shais%20Taub%20-%20Obsessions%20of%20the%20Mind.mp3

Other recordings of Duvid Chaim guest speakers here:

guardyoureyes.com/dc-guest-speakers/category/guest-speakers

There was so much amazing stuff on the tape that it pays to listen to. One thing he talked about is what the disease is based on the Dr. Opinion in AA.

1. Allergy if the body, AND
2. Obsession of the mind

Case 1. Allergy of the body: The last time he was at kiddush he ended up passed out in his own vomit. He doesn't understand why, he never intended to get drunk. It happens a few times that he starts with a little alcohol and ends up really drunk. he realizes he doesn't handle alcohol well, he doesn't know how it will end up, so he stops.

Case 2. Obsesion of the mind: Guy rallies up everybody at work to go to the bar after the work day. He spends all day planning it. They get together they go to the bar. He orders a beer and two shots and then he goes home. He has an obsession. He thought about it all day. But, he doesn't have an allergy. He was able to take a few drinks and then go home and that is usual for him.

Case one and two are not alcoholics.

Case 3. The alcoholic has both: When he starts drinking, he doesn't know where it will end. He also has the obsession of the mind. He can't handle it, but he has this great obsession that he can handle it.

Translate this to sexaholism:

What is the allergy of the body and what is the obsession of the mind?

Allergy: The first drink activates the phenomenon of craving. The goal of the steps is that the obsession is lifted. The allergy is still there though. It's only activated with the first drink. The first drink is lust. Lust is not the normal reflexive action to noticing something interesting. The recovered sexaholic looks and has a natural reaction and then says I can't have that and moves on. I'm allergic to that. Before recovery the person says, I'm not allergic. I can handle that. I can start lusting. It will be okay. It will only be once. It's a deliberate action that comes a second later after the natural reflexive action.

The recovered sexaholic exercised free choice not to start lusting.

In the Q & A a guy asks, I'm in SA 10 years and I worked the steps, how come I can't stay sober.

He answers that possible the steps weren't worked correctly or possibly the person doesn't correctly recognize the first lust drink. The allergy never leaves, so if he has that first drink it will cause the phenomenon or craving. He knows that he can't take the first lust drink, but doesn't know that he's doing it. The obvious case is where a guy looks at illicit material. We say to him come on, really? But less obvious is when we disrespect our wives. When we objectify our wives that's lust. That can start the phenomenon of craving. I'm sure there are many other examples and "to thy own self be true"

He also has a shpiel on white knuckling, which btw anything less than thoroughly working the steps, if your an addict, is white knuckling according to Shais. Going to meetings, making calls, fellowship, reading his book etc. is all how to white knuckle. Until we have a spiritual awakening we are white knuckling, if we are addicts.

Listen to the tape!

hatzlacha!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 20 Aug 2015 17:56 #262414

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Thanks for sharing on Cordnoys call today. Your perseverance is an inspiration to (probably everyone, but I can only talk for )me.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Glad to be here 21 Aug 2015 02:04 #262452

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As Bill Sees It

44
Daily Acceptance

"Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of
others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction,
which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects.
Too often we are heard to say, `If it weren't for him (or her), how
happy I'd be!'"

<< << << >> >> >>
Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they
are, ourselves as we are, and the people abour us as they are. This
is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can
even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that
unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance
that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.
Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the
factsof life into unrealistic alibis for apathy of defeatism, they
can be sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and
therefore spiritual progress can be built.

1. LETTER, 1966
2. GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 21 Aug 2015 02:06 #262453

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As Bill Sees It

176

Domination and Demand

The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to
form a true partnership with another human being. Our egomania digs
two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating the people
we know, or we depend upon them far too much.
If we lean too heavily on people, they will sooner or later fail us,
for they are human, too, and cannot possibly meet our insecurity
grows and festers.
When we habitually try to manipulate others to our own willful
desires, they revolt, and resist us heavily. Then we develop hurt
feelings, a sense of persecution, and a desire to retaliate.

<< << << >> >> >>

My dependency meant demand -- a demand for the possession and control
of the people and the conditions surrounding me.

1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 53
2. GRAPEVINE, JANUARY 1958
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 13 Sep 2015 19:44 #263809

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Every one here has helped me in ways that you cannot imagine. Thank you!

ksiva v'chasima tova !!!!!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.
Last Edit: 16 Sep 2015 02:36 by serenity.

Re: Glad to be here 16 Sep 2015 02:37 #263826

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Yomtif was fantastic. Felt so good to go into Rosh Hashanah sober.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 16 Sep 2015 03:54 #263833

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serenity wrote:
Yomtif was fantastic. Felt so good to go into Rosh Hashanah sober.


B"H

I know the feelin'.

I did that 3 times.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Sep 2015 00:41 #264078

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I'm not ascribing great significance to this saying or necessarily agreeing, but I did think it was cute.

"Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there".
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Sep 2015 01:27 #264090

  • cordnoy
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serenity wrote:
I'm not ascribing great significance to this saying or necessarily agreeing, but I did think it was cute.

"Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there".


I saw that someplace as well.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Glad to be here 18 Sep 2015 01:34 #264092

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cordnoy wrote:
serenity wrote:
I'm not ascribing great significance to this saying or necessarily agreeing, but I did think it was cute.

"Religion is for people who are afraid to go to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there".


I saw that someplace as well.


I also saw it somewhere. In Hebrew. Bemakom shbaalei teshuva omdim...

Re: Glad to be here 18 Sep 2015 01:38 #264093

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i posted it on my forum, got it from the chizzuk emails.


unnamed_2015-09-18.jpg
If you're an LGBTQ or LGBTQ-questioning person and looking for someone who can understand you, feel free to reach out. I promise no judgement and to try and listen the best I can. 

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
Last Edit: 18 Sep 2015 01:39 by Shlomo24.
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