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So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger
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TOPIC: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 11581 Views

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 27 Dec 2015 21:38 #272477

  • SIB101854
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Thursday night, as I headed home on the subway and towards a nice long three day weekend, a young woman who was clearly inapprpropriately dressed walked into the subway car and sat down within a fair distance from me. I shoved my head into my small Gemara, and when the subway car thinned out, I moved completely out of sight of what would have been a trigger.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 27 Dec 2015 21:43 #272479

  • Markz
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SIB101854 wrote:
Thursday night, as I headed home on the subway and towards a nice long three day weekend, a young woman who was clearly inapprpropriately dressed walked into the subway car and sat down within a fair distance from me. I shoved my head into my small Gemara, and when the subway car thinned out, I moved completely out of sight of what would have been a trigger.
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Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 27 Dec 2015 22:01 #272482

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Think seriously about using your commuting time as a time for learning-of any kind. You have to be proactive to avoid triggers if GYE is something that you take seriously. I admit that I take a cursory glance at the newspaper, but the only newspapers that I allow in my house are the WSJ, subject to what I mentioned previously, the Yated, and the weekly "freebies" that appear in our neighborhood every Erev Shabbos. Yes, the NYP has great sports and op ed sections, but the rest of the paper is Lashon Harah and borderline Pritzus, but which is not even borderline so-called "soft core porn." The NYT has disintegrated into a high class Village Voice with very left wing cultural, political, and editorial views, which I simply found not worth paying for one good op ed columnist who is a lonely exception to the rule.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 04 Jan 2016 13:49 #273275

  • SIB101854
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I just got a new cellphone and I discovered that I can get my email on it. Unfortunately, for some reason, probably caused when I was really surfing , reading and printing porn, I still get porn in my email. In standard email, I just delete it. On a cellphone, I discovered that I couldn't , but deleted it as soon as i tried to and it it opened right in front of my eyes. I learned a new lesson-don't check your email on a phone. It could have been a slip but now it is a trigger to be avoided .

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 04 Jan 2016 14:51 #273280

  • heiligeryid
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The same thing happened to me afew days ago, when i opened my email and it showed up messages from sites that i have visited in the past. I pressed delete forever, but the next day i saw it again, until i found the unsubscribe option that will hopefully stop it completely.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 05 Jan 2016 02:27 #273346

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I think that those of us that have such phones have to be very careful especially around younger kids whose phones may be more limited. If they accidentally see such email in either Abba's, Tatte's or Zeide's phone, it would be disastrous, not just for your child or einekel and you, but in terms of the entire nature of any such kesher that you hope to have and maintain with them.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 05 Jan 2016 02:32 #273348

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I decided today that the "freebies " in NYC that are available near any subway in the morning are another source of pictorial shmutz that I should do without. The content is worse than the NYP. If I need to read anything, I can check a safe site on my phone during lunch or during my commute.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 Feb 2016 17:35 #277069

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Last night I almost came perilously close to a slip-but not a fall. I was watching the Super Bowl, my wife was out at a lecture, , the commercials were far more plentiful than were necessary and I started surfing the TV . We don't have premium "cable", but I found soft cable channels with movies that were inappropriate. I flipped back and forth between the game and the other stations until it was obvious that I shouldn't watch and then settled back  and watched the game as soon as I heard the door open to the house. I remained Tahor and still am. I do a lot of research in my profession, and unfortunatelty there are far too many cases which, for those of us who have been down the rabbit hole of porn before, easily could be the basis for a plot either for porn flicks or stories. I don't get turned on  by reading the cases, but I have to find a way to avoid them which clearly set off  triggers for  me. I realize that I did was potentially catastrophic but I feel much  better now that I have conveyed my feelings here. Sunday nights are nights when I realize that the great weekend ( Shabbos, daughter and SIL visiting for Shabbos) is over and I have to  deal with work the next morning. So far, I am Tahor, but I realize that I came perilously close to blowing all of my progress in one instant last night.B"H, football season is over, and I confine TV to Fox News re the presidential campaign and other news. There really is nothing else worth watching.

The other issue that I am aware could lead me down the wrong trail is my new cellphone. It has almost all of the bells and whistles of the most up to date models, and I realize that the phone can also lead me down the primrose path to porn and masturbation if I am not careful.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 Feb 2016 18:39 #277078

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SIB101854 wrote on Unknown:
Last night I almost came perilously close to a slip-but not a fall. I was watching the Super Bowl, my wife was out at a lecture, , the commercials were far more plentiful than were necessary and I started surfing the TV . We don't have premium "cable", but I found soft cable channels with movies that were inappropriate. I flipped back and forth between the game and the other stations until it was obvious that I shouldn't watch and then settled back  and watched the game as soon as I heard the door open to the house. I remained Tahor and still am. I do a lot of research in my profession, and unfortunatelty there are far too many cases which, for those of us who have been down the rabbit hole of porn before, easily could be the basis for a plot either for porn flicks or stories. I don't get turned on  by reading the cases, but I have to find a way to avoid them which clearly set off  triggers for  me. I realize that I did was potentially catastrophic but I feel much  better now that I have conveyed my feelings here. Sunday nights are nights when I realize that the great weekend ( Shabbos, daughter and SIL visiting for Shabbos) is over and I have to  deal with work the next morning. So far, I am Tahor, but I realize that I came perilously close to blowing all of my progress in one instant last night.B"H, football season is over, and I confine TV to Fox News re the presidential campaign and other news. There really is nothing else worth watching.

The other issue that I am aware could lead me down the wrong trail is my new cellphone. It has almost all of the bells and whistles of the most up to date models, and I realize that the phone can also lead me down the primrose path to porn and masturbation if I am not careful.

So why don't you do something to protect from your cellphone?

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 Feb 2016 19:14 #277079

  • SIB101854
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I think that there is an organization in the NY area and elsewhere that specializes in reducing the inherent risks of the cellphone,.I will look into it. Anyone here have a link to it?

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 08 Feb 2016 19:44 #277084

  • gibbor120
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You mean TAG? http://www.taghelpline.org/

Did a simple google search for it.

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 09 Feb 2016 01:13 #277147

  • cordnoy
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Why would it be regarded that you "blew all your progress" even if you ended up fallin'?

Continued hatzlachah
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Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 12 May 2016 02:26 #287570

  • SIB101854
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As  summer approaches, we all have to be prepared for the "less is more" phenomenon that marks female "casual attire" as well as in advertising whether on line or in "mainstream media." I think that one thing we can all easily do is just check our email without surfing on what is called "news". The best safeguard is what I call the "subway stare" when you are walking or taking mass transit and just checking your email as opposed to surfing for "news."

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 16 May 2016 14:37 #287953

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SiB,
How true! I'm going to take this opportunity to be mechazek my news habit- I had kicked it but now I'm slipping back to the NYTimes and following the NBA Playoffs on sports sites that one up on Google that aren't always the best.

So I'm comitting to only following it on a site I know not to be immodest. Thanks for the reminder!

Re: So far so good, but I am trying to avoid a trigger 21 Jun 2016 22:07 #290491

  • SIB101854
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A rough day at work and some spare time while waiting for a test at a doctor's office-there was a magazine there ( not porn, but a magazine that socially and politically pushes the end of the envelope, including pictures from fashion shows, etc). I glanced briefly and threw it on the table. Last week , i walked from one subway car to another because of the presence of two young women who were walking descriptions of "less is more' for summer attire. 
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