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I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy)
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TOPIC: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 5331 Views

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 23 Aug 2012 04:06 #144070

Lol I think NEderman owns an interest in the publishers of Feeling Good.

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 23 Aug 2012 04:13 #144071

Just to give you other things to obsess about. Which I did in my glorious youth:

1. There was a subway shaft like 30 feet deep near my house. A deep, dangerous pit, grated with a metal cover. Standing on top of it, looking down, wow!! I was obsessed with that deep subway vent, and brought my family to see it. Not sure what the appeal was. Hey maybe that "brought me close to the edge".

2. I used to hang onto buses on roller skates. I'd wait at the bottom of the hill, then grab on the bus, and it would tow me up the hill. STUPIDEST IDEA EVER. DON'T DO IT. But it was fun. PEOPLE DIE DOING THAT, PLEASE DON'T DO IT.

And exercise, physical fitness, ways to keep healthy, cooking, chessed projects. There's lots to do. JUST DON'T LOOK DOWN.

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 24 Aug 2012 01:34 #144124

  • nederman
ontheedgeman wrote on 23 Aug 2012 04:06:

Lol I think NEderman owns an interest in the publishers of Feeling Good.


Unfortunately not, but I do own an interest in you reading it.

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 24 Aug 2012 03:47 #144133

Got my copy today. Looks pretty good. Didn't realize it is just basically embryonic CBT. We'll see. I like the idea of "Bibliotherapy"... the idea that "we can be cured by books". I've got tons of books! So the cure must be in one of them! lol. Admittedly, the concept of bibliotherapy is replete in our tradition, since the Torah is often described as an "elixir of life" etc. anyhow thanks, we'll see if it cures me.

(just winding up Dov....)

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 15 Sep 2012 19:24 #145020

  • Happyme0
G-d i think answered our prayers faster even if we do this sin... im sorry i posted that other quote about not wasting seed He will answered faster than of that waste seed... G-d decide and know... we all need to get out of porn and this insane nasty thing that pollute our innocent minds.... i wish i was pure minded again i hate being polluted with dirt... when i was young like couple years ago older people and even younger than me corrupt my mind put dirty words and i was pure innocent mind i hate what they do to me...

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 23 Sep 2012 20:47 #145206

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Are you looking for someone to talk about this to on the phone? I know a person who will not look down on you for your evils, who is frum and knows what it is like to have this stinking pain, and who is afraid of nothing (except for stray dogs, maybe)...this person gets paid nothing.

You do a lot of hitting (of yourself) and blaming (of others). I know a lot of people who have learned how to leave their zera inside them, where it belongs, without any hitting or blaming. Unless your way is working fine...

Feel free to respond, or not. Whatever u want, chaver.
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 03 Oct 2012 20:24 #145486

  • JustKeepGoing
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dov wrote on 09 Aug 2012 23:51:

And while we are at it, how are your looks?


I just want to say a very delayed "clever" to that line. Shkoyach

Titan... Hey.



If your not overloaded with advice already I would like to, as they say, "throw my chicken into the chulent."

I am now one month clean B"h and obviously Im not like the other great people here who can say Ive been clean for years. But I do feel very strongly that
a- you have to want to stop and really stop. and that doesnt mean you cant "feel" like it but you have to want to stop
and then b- realize that if you put yourself in a situation where its easy for you to fall then its easy for you to fall.
and c- that means dont be bored./ have nothing to do. get busy and be busy. ya being lazy feels good. but lazy is step one and then were bored and then we blah blah blah you know the drill. so just realize that you have to take your life into your own hands even if you are young. And make sure to distance yourself from triggers because you know where it all goes.
Im not saying obsess over this. I just mean make a serious effort to pick yourself up and have a schedule to your day, and if you have unstructured free time then you should have things to be busy with. Stop thinking I wana No i dont wana I wana I dont wana ARGHH blah blah I DO! I DONT ! no. stop that.

You just have to realize that all the advice in the world wont change you if your just sitting at home LAZY ( We all deal with it dont think your alone) and not doing anything. So be busy. Good luck

Theres a class called "how never to be bored" by R Noach Weinberg. But that wont change you either if you dont listen to it and do what he says. (AKA do things)

Titan
Good luck! Hatzlacha Raba!
I am looking forward to hearing good news!

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 09 Nov 2012 03:34 #147501

  • titanlooks
First of all I would like to tank everyone on this website and whatever for their help and answers. Nothing seems to help, i tried picking up hobbies like guitar and stuff but cant seem to shake it off. Guess some people are doomed to eternal hell though. I due admit though, I am curious what hell is like. Fire? Reflecting on your sins? Who knows? Well goodbye everyone I might come back if someone responds to this. Well ill see you guys if I somehow do get out of eternal punishment and pain. Bye all.

-a lonely soul

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 09 Nov 2012 03:44 #147505

  • Dov
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Dear titanlooks,

Have you reached out to get any real help yet, or just posted behind the shame-free, protective walls of using a fake name on a virtual forum - and expected to be 'saved'?

I am not chas veSholom hollering at you, chaver - just really asking you before you give up on a better life: What actual work have you actually done? If you want to detail the work and talk about what tools you have used and actual actions of recovery you have taken, I'd be very happy to discuss the issue with you on the phone or here or anywhere.

Hatzlocha

- Dov
Admin put these lines here cuz he likes 'em:
"The heart needs to be broken when will-power is not enough"
"Get off the 18-Wheeler and onto a tricycle!"
"The heck with me, what can I do for you?"
"I do not particularly care exactly which "lav" suicide is. I'm not interested in it for other reasons!"

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 09 Nov 2012 15:48 #147527

Dear 14 year old orthodox guy,

I remember when I was your age many decades ago, before the age of the internet, but nevertheless with similar issues and constant disappointments. My life has been quite miserable because, like you, nothing seemed to help and I couldn't shake it off. However, I can say that there was one friend I had who know of my issues, and there was one piece of insight that he gave me which kept me alive and helped me move along: Don't ever give up. You are not G-d and it is not your job to predict or control the outcome. But you are His servant and it is your job to do His will to the best of your ability. He will ultimately decide whether to make your life more manageable, and whether to acknowledge your efforts in the world to come. But that's not your business. Just do your best and let Him do the rest - as He sees fit.

So for years and decades I tried various approaches again and again and failed again and again, but one thing I never did was give up. I wanted to be able to face Hashem after 120 and say, "Perhaps I failed, but I kept trying."

B"H after many years/decades I have lived to see much siyata dishmaya in this area as well as other areas in my life. Had I thrown in the towel and given up in those teen years, who knows where I would be today - if I would be at all. With Hashem's help I now enjoy and appreciate all the Torah and Avodah tha I forced myself to go through all these years, and I B"H enjoy my parnassa and mishpacha which are also a result of my not giving up under those hard circumstances.

Take it from an old-timer (many times your age bs"d), who has inevitably been through much much more than you. You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I can tell you my dear, it is there. And even in your current peiod of seeming darkness, you cannot imagine the light which you are creating in heaven with your struggle for Hashem's sake.

So if you're at the crossroads, think about where you should be heading, and may Hashem lead you in the right direction.

Hatzlacha

MT

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 02 Dec 2013 08:38 #224311

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Hey Dude,
I am about the same age as you. I literally know exactly what you are going through. The worst part of it all is that IT SEEMS like there isn't much wecan do about our problems at this age. We can't hire a therapist. Telling someone is weird and seemingly pointless, because they may not understand us. We also can't join a 12-step group. This addiction caught us early!

But there are some things that we can do bro!
We can believe! Hashem is always there for us. The key is to break free of all the small habits that lead to bigger problems. Hashem is the only way to get there. Think about it: The Yetzer Hara was created to destroy you! He will win as he is stronger. The only way to get out of that situation is to take shelter in an even more powerful force/Hashem.

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 02 Dec 2013 08:47 #224313

  • cordnoy
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Looks like there is a revival of an old thread, but Learning boy; why do you feel there is nothing for you to do? yes, you cant hire a therapist by yourself or join a 12-step group, but there are so many good people out there who are available to help...a parent, rebbe, teacher, mashgiach, older relative, mashpia, etc.

Oh, how I wish I would have done something at 15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45....... (that was real difficult to type...it really hurts)

oh my!

please, please...take advantage of your opportunities...choose wisely


b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 02 Dec 2013 08:47 by cordnoy.

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 08 Dec 2015 02:40 #270713

  • cordnoy
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Titan, are you around?
How are you?

As I needed to rest due to some pain, I fell upon this thread, and I was utterly amazed and astonished at the posts in response to this young boy. I deleted all the adjectives pertaining to lack of basic intelligence and common sense, and now I deleted the rest of this post.
There was a geshmake fight in the middle, but other than that, this thread is greatly disturbing.

Why then do I bump it?
I think it teaches us about offering advice.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
Last Edit: 08 Dec 2015 02:41 by cordnoy.

Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 08 Dec 2015 06:02 #270731

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cordnoy wrote:
Titan, are you around?
How are you?

As I needed to rest due to some pain, I fell upon this thread, and I was utterly amazed and astonished at the posts in response to this young boy. I deleted all the adjectives pertaining to lack of basic intelligence and common sense, and now I deleted the rest of this post.
There was a geshmake fight in the middle, but other than that, this thread is greatly disturbing.

Why then do I bump it?
I think it teaches us about offering advice.

Cordnoy, I hope you're feeling better

If you recommended it to be read, I did - skimmed through the entire thing now.

please do us all a favor although you are usually brilliantly cryptic,
PLEASE PLEASE explain your last sentence. Some people need it spelled out. Otherwise I'll have to
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Re: I need help badly(14 yr old orthodox guy) 08 Dec 2015 14:04 #270749

  • cordnoy
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markz wrote:
cordnoy wrote:
Titan, are you around?
How are you?

As I needed to rest due to some pain, I fell upon this thread, and I was utterly amazed and astonished at the posts in response to this young boy. I deleted all the adjectives pertaining to lack of basic intelligence and common sense, and now I deleted the rest of this post.
There was a geshmake fight in the middle, but other than that, this thread is greatly disturbing.

Why then do I bump it?
I think it teaches us about offering advice.


Cordnoy, I hope you're feeling better

If you recommended it to be read, I did - skimmed through the entire thing now.

please do us all a favor although you are usually brilliantly cryptic,
PLEASE PLEASE explain your last sentence. Some people need it spelled out. Otherwise I'll have to


The floor is yours; I passed.
Thanks; feelin' better now (at least from what ached me last night).
Btw, I didn't actually 'recommend' readin' it; I bumped it and said my piece.

After passin', I will say two thin's:
1. Know (or try to know) who you are talkin' to.
2. Talk from experience and how it was productive, or how it wasn't.

b'hatzlachah.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.
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