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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk
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Im Paga be’cha menuval zeh, mushchei'hu le- BEIS HAMEDRASH! This board is for divrei Torah relating to our struggle with the Yetzer Hara, from the entire spectrum of Tanach, Chazal, Mussar and Chassidus. On this board there will be no posts about personal struggles and no debates. Only TORAH CHIZUK.

TOPIC: The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 69290 Views

The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 28 Feb 2016 00:31 #279465

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Anonymous - Unanuman

I sure hope my good friend Dov does not read this post

What is the basis of anonymous names?

I think there's source to it in the Heilge Rambam that wrote

ד מדרכי התשובה להיות השב צועק תמיד לפני השם בבכי ובתחנונים ועושה צדקה כפי כחו ומתרחק הרבה מן הדבר שחטא בו ומשנה שמו כלומר אני אחר ואיני אותו האיש שעשה אותן המעשים ומשנה מעשיו כולן לטובה ולדרך ישרה וגולה ממקומו. שגלות מכפרת עון מפני שגורמת לו להכנע ולהיות עניו ושפל רוח:


The regular member of GYE that is interested in recovery does precisely those things the Rambam mentions
משנה שמו
I almost forgot my prior name - jk

משנה מעשיו
Each man to his own

וגולה ממקומו
And finds a new life with new friends on gye, some of whom will remind / teach him to be an עניו ושפל רוח
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 28 Feb 2016 22:08 #279563

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markz wrote on 19 Jan 2016 14:07:

bardichev wrote:
Beshalach-Shabbos SHIRA tuf shin ayin alef


KEEP ON TRUCKING

By:bardichev

This dvar Torah is dedicated to my good chver Zemiros Shabbos

May he see bracha vihatazlacha in all his endeavors

The place:Somewhere near Egypt

The time:chol hamoed
Pesach

The yidden are trapped in the deset

The Egyptian Cavalry all of it and all their legions. The entire Egyptian army are bearing down on the Jews
The jews are between a rock and a hard place

The only place they can go is forward

Slight issue homo-sapians are not amphibians.

What is there to do

No retreat
No where to turn

So the Jews do what Jews always do they pray!

Gevaldiggggg??

Nisht!

Hashem says why are you screaming

??

Speak to the people and tell them to get moving

YAYISOO-ee (vayisa-uu)

KEEP ON TRUCKING!!

Fregt bards

What was wrong with prayer?

There is  a huge lesson here

Huge

When facing a personal challenge

We can't say

I tried

I cried

I prayed

No no no

Do something posotive

Drive forward

Even if it means jumping into the sea

Vayisa-uu!!

Too often I see here on the forum. People are haunted by their own demons

Leave them behind you!! Ayyy they are chasing you?! Just keep on trucking!

Of course tefilla!but like Hashem says tefilla plus action

Like the Rupshotzers kugel

The rupshizer roov reb naftali horovitz talmid of the (chozeh)Lubliner

His rebbetzin was a bit stingy but a big tzaddekes

So she made a small kugel one potato. A small onion.  She put it in the oven. Took out her tehillim and began to daven that the kugel should "gelung"

While she was davening. The rebbe. Grabbed a sack of potatoes some huge onoins a dozen eggs. A jug of oil. Salt feffer ahhh

He added his rebbetzin bite size kugel to a huge kugel for all the chassidim

The rebbetzin finishes davening

Looks into the oven and beams as she says ,
Naftali lOok my tefilla worked!

The rebbe says "yes your tefilla along with my massim tovim"




Keep on trucking


With

All

The

Love

In

The

World

H&H

bardichev

Good Shabbos


 

I wish Bards would at least do PHONE calls. I'd call in for  abardichever kumzitz, or a shot at bardys pub... 
  • I've never been one for signatures.. but sometimes people change
  • I'm seeking the life that I find manageable which may not be the life you find manageable. But let's make a deal. I want you to find yours and you want me to find mine even if they are different.

The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 03 Mar 2016 18:01 #280120

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MBJ wrote:
Sorry if this will rub people the wrong way, but I have to get this off my chest.

Every time I read someone writing pas besalo I get angry. Like I want to reach through the web page and smack the guy around a bit. If I could erase this horribly abused phrase from everyone who has even glanced at gye I would. There is a phrase from a certain type of porn I used to watch called '*** ********' (moderators feel free to redact that but I wrote it for a reason). And every time someone says pas besalo here, that is the first word association for me, because that is what they mean.

Don't get me wrong I know the phrase is from the gemara and is quotesd in rishonim and sifrei halacha, but it has been so distorted from its original intent.

It reminds of the passuk ואל אישך תשוקתך. Which used to make me angry, why is my wife not desiring me? Where is the curse? Me in my lust warped brain thought that meant my wife should be waiting for me every night in bed with lingerie begging me to have sex with her. But of course Hashem was talking to chava and not to adam, and she understood what He meant. That she needs the love and validation from her husband. as Rav Arush repeats several times, the husband is like the sun and the wife like the moon, reflecting her husband's light.

So to with pas besalo. Lust addicts read that and say I can do whatever the heck I want. I can fantasize, I can stare because I have my wife to use as a sex toy. The real gemara that started this phrase is as follows on yuma 67a:
מעולם לא הוצרך אדם לכך אלא שאינו דומה מי שיש לו פת בסלו למי שאין לו פת בסלו
Meaning when a person has no food available he will be more desperate, when he knows where his next meal is coming from he is less desperate to find food.
Tranlated to your wife it means that a NORMAL married person should be less easily aroused becasue he knows that his wife is there. So he can be slightly less cautious when peeing for example.

The messed up addicts think it is no big deal if I get myself aroused because my wife is there. And if I get myself aroused she had better damn well be there to save me from the sin of hashchatas zera levatala.

I promise you there is no mishna gemara chazal responsa or chasidisha vort anywhere that says it is ok to lust and fantasize and stare at women in the street if you are married because a holy jewish wife has to save her holy jewish husband from sinning by being his [outlet].
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 03 Mar 2016 20:19 #280147

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No comment ;-)
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 04 Mar 2016 14:04 #280255

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the.guard wrote:
7Up sent me this awesome PM:

Rage wrote to me last night about his fear of being in a hotel room with TV and open filter. This is part of what I replied. Thought we could all gain from Rav Taubers perspective:

***

Your comment about the TV and internet reminded me of a shiur I once heard from Rav Ezriel Tauber:

He too was traveling, and was delayed overnight after a long hard day. The airline put him up in a fancy hotel with a huge TV screen and internet access. Being Rabbi Tauber, these posed no real challenge for him though, and he took out his sefer, sat on the couch and proceeded to learn. Within minutes he was fast asleep! After a significant period of time, he woke up and started to cry. "Tatty, my (great?)grandparents were workers. They rose at dawn, put in a whole day of hard physical labor and returned home totally spent. But what did they do a soon as they got home? They went to the shul and spent the next few hours learning, regardless of their exhaustion.Their learning came at tremendous personal sacrifice. And me? I spent my day traveling and speaking, not backbreaking anything, yet I cant even give You the pleasure of a few hours learning?? "


But then he stopped and put it back in perspective. "Previous doros served You with "asei tov".  I will serve via "sur me'rah". Here I am Tatty, faced with a huge TV screen and full internet access. I am all alone so no one will ever know if I turned them on. No one but You and I. And this is my gift to both You, and myself. My karbon of self sacrifice will be not touching those 'on' buttons."

***

Every second that we withstand the nisayon and dont give in to our personal teivos, is no less precious to HKBH than all the karbonos our grandparents brought in the Beis Hamikdash. 'Sur me'rah' is the challenge of our dor.
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 13 Mar 2016 18:58 #281211

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Seeking the Light in the Darkness

I heard some tremendous Chizuk from Rabbi Efriam Wachsman in a shiur titled "Megilas Esther: Discovering the Depths of Our Neshomos":

(Note: In general, Rabbi Wachsman's shiurim often give chizuk to those who struggle with the Yetzer Harrah.To hear his Shiurim, call the Yeshiva at 845-426-3488. There is an extension for the tape and CD library.)

The Rizhiner explains that in one way, Purim is greater than Yom Kipur (Yom Ki- Purim. A day that is only "like" Purim, but not as great).

Yom Kippur atones for the Shavim (Those who return - i.e. repent), while Purim atones for the Shavim and the Aino Shavim (those who return and those who do not return).

What does it mean that Purim atones for the Aino Shavim, those who do not return?

The Rizhiner explains that Purim is a holy day for those who repent but yet continue to fall. They are labeled "Aino Shavim" because they continually have to face their struggle. Purim is all about seeing the light in an atmosphere of total darkness. It is about seeking out Hashem even if we feel we are in total darkness and may be feeling ashamed or low. Hashem says "Anochi Hastir Astir Panai ("I will utterly hide my face from you"), yet in that same pasuk is the remez (hint) to Esther , our salvation. Hashem rejoices when we reach out to him, and when we rejoice in our effort to seek Hashem out.

GYE is about seeking out the light in the dark world around us. It is about confronting struggles that have plagued us for years. We may have continued to fall many times, yet we - as a family - are seeking out the light to overcome our addictions. We are finding Hashem in the darkness. That is the true holy essence of Purim, and that is why Purim is the happiest day of the year.

May we all tap into the holy day of Purim. May we all find Hashem in the darkness. May we all have extra Siatah Dishmayah to overcome our illness and may we all rejoice in re-discovering ourselves.

A Freylicha Purim!
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 15 Mar 2016 22:21 #281417

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Kedusha wrote:

Rav Moshe Feinstein held that a manuscript allegedly written by a Rishon was forged because, among other reasons, of the following question and answer contained in the manuscript: Q.) Why is Mishkav Zachor forbidden by the Torah? A.) Because engaging in such behavior is a bitul of pirya v'rivya.

For starters, says Rav Moshe, the very question is making light of what the Torah calls a to'eiva. And the answer does the same thing - if the entire problem were a bitul of pirya v'rivya, then why does the Torah describe it as an abomination?

Rav Moshe, therefore, held that it is forbidden to publish this manuscript, even without the offending passages, because, who knows what other statements keneged the Emes are contained therein, which have yet to be discovered? (I have heard from a reliable source that Rav Shlomo Zalman and, ybl"c, Rav Elyashiv, allowed the sefer to be published, provided that the offending passages were removed).

In our case, we're, at least, talking about a behavior that is not against nature (Kederech Kol Ha'aretz). But, we need to remember that, by asking what's wrong with it, we're (unintentionally) making light of something that should be utterly repulsive to us.

On that note, Rav Avigdor Miller said over that someone once presented him with the following logic: The Rambam says that we shouldn't say that chazer is disgusting, rather we should say that chazer may well be delicious, but, what can we do - the Torah forbids it. The person argued that we should feel the same way about Gilui Arayos - it's wonderful, but what can we do - the Torah forbids it.

Rav Miller responded that this is not the Torah Hashkafa. We should be repulsed by chazer and by arayos, for the very reason that the Torah forbids them. The Rambam is simply saying that we shouldn't pretend that chazer tastes bad or that arayos involves no short term pleasure. But we should be totally repulsed by both, because the Torah forbids them.

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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 16 Mar 2016 22:36 #281539

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I viewed porn. Am I normal?? Do I need filters????
gibbor120 wrote on 29 Apr 2015 17:00:
I've seen in seforim that the "main" bechira we have is to avoid triggering situations in the first place. That doesn't mean we have no bechira after that point. Only that it becomes extremely difficult (and in some cases, we may in fact not have bechira at that point)


I wanna ask Gibbor120 for more on this topic, but this is what I have on my 'desk'
__________________

"I feel like a piece of garbage - I feel terrible for viewing porn, and Mast* etc..."
Actually that may not be the worst thing we did

What's more serious, is that I kept the door open, to enable those outcomes.

We all have a beast inside us that when confronted with porn, the beast attacks (Some of us have a more violent beast, and this post isn't necessarily for those members)

Who has a lust beast? All men, without exception (besides for a negligible minority)

Reb Amram Chasida ("Pious Amram") in the Gemara that was normal like this. When he was alone with eye tempting women, his beast gave him unnatural adrenaline to access them, until he defeated the beast with a "partner call". R Meir too (kiddushin 81a)
Steve wrote on 21 Jan 2010 22:58:

Famous story of Rav Aaron Kotler, ztk"l. He went w/ gabboim to see a gevir in a penthouse suite in a Florida Hotel. During the elevator ride up, a woman in a bathing suit comes on, to get to her floor. Obviously all 3 men avoided looking. Downstairs later, trying to leave, the gabboim couldn't find R' Aaron. Finally they found him, sitting in a chair, against the wall facing a corner of the lobby, crying. They overheard him saying "Ribbono Shel Olam!! - What did I do to deserve such a test!!"

Even TZIDKUS doesn't completely remove the YH for these inyanim. Could mere AGE stand a chance?




Hence the creation of 'fences' to protect from encountering that universal beast

This is unlike deterrents that actively protect you from evil. A fence is not an active deterrent, but a passive shield putting you out of harms way. Like Gevura's analogy - who compares it to a fence by the edge of a cliff, which deter anyone that decides to circumvent the fence

Fences come in different forms, eg white-list, filter, accountability partner, 3 second rule, device time lockdowns etc

Since this is your beast, it's your responsibility to set those fences for yourself / your children

For many of us I venture to say that Having a fall is less of a sin to Gd than skipping "filters etc."

Because Restrictions are in our hands,
The tests are in Gd's
פורץ גדר ישכנו נחש (קהלת י:ח)
(העובר על דברי חכמים חייב מיתה בידי שמים (ברכות ד: ועי׳ עירובין כא:)
דברי חכמים is the חכמים of 2016.
If they request filters etc, it can be more severe than איסור דאורייתא
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


There's 2 types of YH. Internal, and external (Vilna Gaon). Which is easier to conquer?
R' Yerucham of Mir zl demonstrates from the insistence of the Torah to repeatedly restrict external temptations, that the external is much more difficult to overcome

מה יעשה הבן ולא יחטא
I have a feeling this is regarding יצהר מבחוץ.
If you put your teenager in dangerous location, eg drugs etc. the onus is primarily on the parent, although the child has their own responsibility to do their best like Yosef haTzadik.

Unfortunately nowadays the יצהר מבחוץ has infiltrated our homes and is בפנים

May we merit to bring the Shechina בפנים, which is the true meaning of משנכנס אדר מרבים בשמחה
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Last Edit: 17 Mar 2016 03:24 by Markz.

The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 21 Mar 2016 12:56 #281967

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עד דלא ידע (את אשתו) בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי


yechidah wrote on 31 Jan 2011 20:35:
All single men
Looking for a  beautiful woman to marry

All married men
Looking for a beautiful woman
That he does not see in his wife
And “thinks” he sees in another


Remember This:

Hayafa BaNashim”
Which means “the most  beautiful of women”
Has the numerical value of 502

It is the same numerical value as
“Arur Haman”-“Cursed be Haman”

Also 502

And yet it also has the same numerical value
As “Boruch Mordechai”-“Blessed be Mordechai”

Also 502

So proceed with caution, single men,

Take a step back, married men

You want a beautiful woman

Think of what you wish for

A bride befitting a Mordechai?

Or a witch befitting a Haman?

They may externally look equally exquisite

Both a whopping “502”

Yet one is the truest blessing
And the other is Hell on this earth!!!

Is it the Haman within you seeing her?
Or is it Mordechai within you that perceives her ?

So single men ,pray to God
So you can “see” clearly
The truth of beauty

And married men
See the beauty hidden in what is before you
And if you can’t?
Then tap into the gift of Mordechai
Who saw in Esther
The “Chut Hachesed”
That made her beautiful.
And pray for that gift.

you will find
that you can draw to her
That "Chut Hachesed"
with your own words
and kind deeds
towards her

For without prayer,
You single one
Will see a “stunning” Zeresh
Thinking she is Esther
That is the Hell
You will live with

And without prayer
And lacking some very honest soul searching,
You married one,
Will be in mourning all your life
Thinking that you married a Zeresh
Not even dawning on you
That it was Esther all along….
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 21 Mar 2016 14:32 #281979

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This is why this is one of the few threads I keep myself subscribed to.
Quotes that speak to me
What do we replace it with....Life (Cordnoy)
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 25 Mar 2016 12:02 #282481

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peloni almoni wrote:
The pasuk says: velo sasuru acharei levavchem ve’acharei einechem. Rashi brings from chazal: the eyes are scouts for the body. The eyes see, then the heart desires, and the rest of the body gets dragged into it as well. This raises an obvious question: the pasuk says einechem only after having said levavchem. If the chazal that Rashi brings is truly the torah sheba’al peh counterpart to this pasuk; if the lesson of this pasuk is, in fact, that first the eyes see and then the heart desires, why is the order switched?
There are many answers given. The following is very close to pashut peshat, and brings an important point home.
The cycle goes as follows: A person is walking, and something provocotive catches the corner of his eye. Curious, his urge is to take a second glance, to turn his head, lift his eyes, and look. Says the torah: velo sasuru acharei levavchem ve’acharei einechem. We cannot control what leaks into the corner of our eye, or what pops into our direct line of vision. Aunoos, rachamana patreih. The ikkar is not to follow our heart and take a second look. Do you know why? Because the eyes are the scouts for the body. The eye sees, and the heart wants, and leads the rest of the body to sin.
That is why the order is reversed. The pasuk is telling us the prohibition - do not follow your heart to take that second look. The corresponding chazal is warning us of what we know only too well - if you take that second look, the eyes will effect the heart, and pull the body into sin.
I think this is important for any male member of our species, especially us. It is something I am working on myself, as I have come to understand that it is truly the cornerstone to our struggle. Training our self not to take the second glace… and feeling good about it.

I love this original pshat, which I think applies to "non addicts"
Step one - The eyes see accidentally, no problem, nada!
Step 2 - will your heart run wild with it?

For those of us with an addicted mind, the passuk is actually simpler - checking your lust heart rate is Step one, since we don't need sights to turn us on in the first place (although living life doesn't mean constantly checking your lust rate, as dov has mentioned)
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 25 Mar 2016 17:15 #282503

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markz wrote on 25 Mar 2016 12:02:

peloni almoni wrote:
The pasuk says: velo sasuru acharei levavchem ve’acharei einechem. Rashi brings from chazal: the eyes are scouts for the body. The eyes see, then the heart desires, and the rest of the body gets dragged into it as well. This raises an obvious question: the pasuk says einechem only after having said levavchem. If the chazal that Rashi brings is truly the torah sheba’al peh counterpart to this pasuk; if the lesson of this pasuk is, in fact, that first the eyes see and then the heart desires, why is the order switched?
There are many answers given. The following is very close to pashut peshat, and brings an important point home.
The cycle goes as follows: A person is walking, and something provocotive catches the corner of his eye. Curious, his urge is to take a second glance, to turn his head, lift his eyes, and look. Says the torah: velo sasuru acharei levavchem ve’acharei einechem. We cannot control what leaks into the corner of our eye, or what pops into our direct line of vision. Aunoos, rachamana patreih. The ikkar is not to follow our heart and take a second look. Do you know why? Because the eyes are the scouts for the body. The eye sees, and the heart wants, and leads the rest of the body to sin.
That is why the order is reversed. The pasuk is telling us the prohibition - do not follow your heart to take that second look. The corresponding chazal is warning us of what we know only too well - if you take that second look, the eyes will effect the heart, and pull the body into sin.
I think this is important for any male member of our species, especially us. It is something I am working on myself, as I have come to understand that it is truly the cornerstone to our struggle. Training our self not to take the second glace… and feeling good about it.

I love this original pshat, which I think applies to "non addicts"
Step one - The eyes see accidentally, no problem, nada!
Step 2 - will your heart run wild with it?

For those of us with an addicted mind, the passuk is actually simpler - checking your lust heart rate is Step one, since we don't need sights to turn us on in the first place (although living life doesn't mean constantly checking your lust rate, as dov has mentioned)

Now, you are an addict? See here and there (where you spell it out ever clearer) and here and there (which was a hilarious post) and over here as well (my apologies if the links do not work, I do not know how to use source code).
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 25 Mar 2016 18:17 #282506

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Cordnoy

If someone is hilarious it's you!

btw you don't need to use source at all to put a link, just click the 6th editing tool in the 1st row

Where did I say I'm an addict?
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 25 Mar 2016 18:19 #282508

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SE FOR SA
Shmone Esrei for Sex Addicts


davidr wrote on 10 Oct 2013 09:13:
I am a sex addict and am in SA (Sexaholics Anonymous), a 12 step program for sex addiction.

Lately, I am davening Shemone Esre with a new approach, thinking new meanings and prayers into the words. To be clear, I do not change any words of the actual Shemoneh Esreh. I believe that it is very holy and that every word has hidden and deep meanings. But I also believe that it is important for every individual to assign meanings to the words we say that are relevant to our lives. As a sex addict working on the twelve steps, I have become aware of the tremendous love Hashem has for me, and how only Hashem's power can save my life.

Below you can find the shemone esre translated into English with my kavono in parentheses.

(Instruction:)
While praying, concentrate on the meaning of the words and remember that you are tremendously privileged to stand before the Divine Presence. And remember that God loves you and is so happy to see you turn to him! Before beginning the Amidah, take three steps back, then three steps forward. Recite the Amidah quietly -- but audibly to yourself -- while standing with feet together.

(God, I am powerless. I am powerless over lust, I am powerless over my life. I may feel unworthy to stand before you and to connect with you. But what I cannot do for myself, you can do for me. So please…)
My L-rd, open my lips, and my mouth shall declare Your praise.
Bend Knees at "Blessed"; bow at "You"; Straighten at "L-rd ourG‑d":
(Thank you for being here for me.. ) Blessed are You, L-rd our G‑d and G‑d of our fathers, G‑d of Abraham, G‑d of Isaac and G‑d of Jacob, the great, mighty and awesome G‑d, exalted G‑d, who bestows (not because I deserve it, but because you love me) bountiful kindness, who creates all things, who remembers the piety of the Patriarchs, and who, in love, brings a redeemer (from my addiction and their underlying causes) to their children's children, for the sake of His Name.
During the Ten Days of Penitence add:
Remember us for life, King who desires (true and addiction free) life; inscribe us in the Book of Life (without addiction, oh please God, keep me sober just for the day) , for Your sake, O living G‑d.
Bend Knees at "Blessed"; bow are "You"; Straighten at "L-rd our G‑d":
O King (my higher power who can and does keep me sober one day at a time) , (You are) a helper (when I’m triggered), a savior (when I’m about to act out) and a shield (protecting my eyes and heart). Blessed are You L-rd, Shield of Abraham.
(My addiction may be strong and old), but You are mighty forever, my L-rd; You resurrect the dead (and the dead feelings within me); You are powerful to save.
In summer say: (You have such gentle ways to make me grow) you make the dew to descend. In winter say: (But when necessary, you employ stronger methods to bring me close) You cause the wind to blow and the rain to fall.
(You) sustain the living with loving kindness (I therefore trust you and put myself in your care), (You) resurrect the dead with great mercy (you helped me find sobriety), (You) support the falling (you gently remind me to work on my recovery), (You) heal the (physically, mentally or spiritually) sick, (You) release the bound (you free me from the bounds of my addiction to experience joyful freedom), and (You) fulfill your trust to those who sleep in the dust (You care for me, think about me and trust me even when I am down and guide me back to you). Who is like You, mighty One (no power can take on my higher power)! And who can be compared to You, King, who brings death and restores life, and causes deliverance to grow (let my addiction be the seed for tremedous growth) !

During the Ten Days of Penitence add: Who is like You, merciful Father, who in compassion remembers His creatures for (a joyful and addiction free) life.

You are trustworthy to revive the dead (I’ve personally experienced the miracle of recovery). Blessed are You L-rd, who revives the dead (thank you God for every day of sanity).


When the Chazzan repeats Amidah, Kedushah is recited here.
We will hallow and adore You as the sweet words of the assembly of the holy Seraphim who thrice repeat "holy" unto You, as it is written by Your prophet: And they call one to another and Say, (Cong. and Chazzan:) "(I will turn my heart to God) Holy, (I will avert my eyes) holy, (I will help other recover) holy is the L-rd of hosts; (I will pray to you wherever and whenever I am triggered, because) the whole earth is full of His glory." (Chazzan:) Those facing them offer praise and say, (Cong and Chazzan:) "Blessed be the glory of the L-rd from its place." (Chazzan:) And in Your holy Scriptures it is written thus: (Cong. and Chazzan:) The L-rd shall reign forever; your G‑d, O Zion, throughout all generations. Praise the L-rd.
You are holy and Your Name is holy, and holy beings praise You daily for all eternity (and I humbly ask to be allowed to join them). Blessed are You L-rd, the holy G‑d. (During the Ten Days of Penitence substitute: the holy King.)
(My own “best thinking” got me into trouble, I need a new way of thinking) You graciously bestow sanity (to distinguish what is good for me and what is bad for me) upon man and teach mortals understanding. Graciously bestow upon us from You, insight (to know how to accept that which I cannot change), understanding (to know how to change my attitude) and sanity (to know the difference). Blessed are You L-rd, who graciously bestows sanity.
(You are my father and I am your child. But I lost my way, and cannot find my way back to you without your help because I am powerless. And I cannot do it alone, I need others on this journey with me. So please ..) Cause us to return, our Father, to Your Torah (show us how); draw us near, our King, to Your service (give us the courage); and bring us back to You in whole-hearted repentance (I really need to feel your love right now!). Blessed are You L-rd, who (not only accepts, but) desires penitence.
(Deep in my heart I am always yearning to be loved and accepted and understood and connected and whole. I am really looking for you, because connecting with you is the only real Connection I can have. When I act out, I feel so far away from you. And after I act out, I feel that it’s so hard to come back to you because I turned away from you, sometimes even deliberately. But I know you have not given up on me and I will not give up on my connection with you either. Pardon us, our Father, because we have sinned (only you really know and understand that I was really looking for you all along); forgive us, our King, because we have transgressed; for You are a good and forgiving G‑d. (You are infinite and your ability to forgive is infinite. Yes, I know I have asked you to forgive me before, but unlike me, you never lose your patience. So I am back again. Help me stay with you just for today) Blessed are You L-rd, gracious One who pardons abundantly.
O behold our poverty (I am completly powerless over lust) and (so I ask you to) wage our battle (This is not just my battle, it’s also yours. You desire my return just as much as I desire to be whole with you. But I can’t win this battle, and you can. It’s all yours. I will let go and let God); redeem us speedily (I am asking just for one day at a time, but please make it today) for the sake of Your Name (so that the miracles you do for us will encourage others to seek you), for You G‑d are the mighty redeemer. Blessed are You L-rd, Redeemer of Israel.
(I am completely powerless over lust ant it’s causing me and the people around me so much pain and suffering. You are the only one who can help me and so I turn to you, praying not just for myself but also for my friends and for all those who are still suffering.) Heal us, O L-rd, and we will be healed (no other healing will truly heal my spiritual illness, my strong yearning to connect with you); help us and we will be helped (I recognize that I will not recover all at once, so I beg you to help me stay on the path of recovery); for You are our praise. Grant complete cure and healing to all our wounds (especially those I inflicted on others as a result of my malady. Help me fix what I broke and heal me of the underlying resentments, fears and insecurities that caused me to hurt others); for You, Almighty King, are a faithful and merciful healer (I trust you to help me make amends in the least painful way possible). Blessed are You L-rd, who heals the sick of His people Israel.
Bless for us, L-rd our G‑d, this year (help us stay in recovery thru all the changing seasons) and all the varieties of its produce for good (may my recovery be a blessing to all the different people I come in contact with); and bestow (During the summer season say:) blessing (During the winter season say: dew and rain for blessing) upon the face of the earth. Satisfy us from Your bounty and bless our year like other good years (I know merited to experience what sanity feels like and I want more of it!), for blessing; for You are a generous G‑d who bestows goodness and blesses the years. Blessed are You L-rd, who blesses the years.
Sound the great shofar for our freedom (I can’t wait to experience the ultimate freedom and closeness with You with our final redemption); raise a banner to gather our exiles, and bring us together from the four corners of the earth into our land (help me unite all the conflicting parts of my soul and bring them home). Blessed are You L-rd, who gathers the dispersed of His people Israel.
Restore our judges as in former times (restore my sanity and my judgement) , and our counsellors as of yore; remove from us sorrow and sighing, and reign over us, You alone, O L-rd, (please don’t let my addiction rule me anymore) with kindness and compassion, with righteousness and justice. Blessed are You L-rd, King who loves righteousness and justice. (During the Ten Days of Penitencesubstitute with: the King of judgment.)
Let there be no hope for informers, and may all the heretics and all the wicked instantly perish; may all the enemies of Your people be speedily extirpated; and may You swiftly uproot, break, crush and subdue the reign of wickedness (within me that is ruining my life) speedily in our days. Blessed are You L-rd, who crushes enemies and subdues the wicked.
May Your mercies be aroused, L-rd our G‑d, upon the righteous, upon the pious, upon the elders of Your people, the House of Israel, upon the remnant of their sages, upon the righteous proselytes and upon us. Grant ample reward to all who truly trust in Your Name, and place our lot among them (let me learn from others how to trust you again, I want to place my life in your care); may we never be disgraced (I don’t want to go back the day when I could not face myself), for we have put our trust in You. Blessed are You L-rd, the support and security of the righteous.
Return in mercy to Yerusholayim (the city of Yerusholayim is at the center of the world and the name is composed of the words Yirah Sholem, may I be whole again and feel your presence in the center of my being),Your city and dwell therein as You have promised; speedily establish therein the throne of David Your servant, and rebuild it, soon in our days, as an everlasting edifice. Blessed are You L-rd, who rebuilds Jerusalem.
Speedily cause the scion of David Your servant to flourish, and increase his power by Your salvation, for we hope for Your salvation all day (I need your help throughout the day, because I am completely powerless). Blessed are You L-rd, who causes the power of salvation to flourish.
Hear our voice, L-rd our G‑d; merciful Father (have mercy on me and all those I harmed) (Note: Pray in your mind for yourself, your family members and anyone you may have harmed or who you have resentments against), have compassion upon us and accept our prayers in mercy and favor (don’t let me die a spritual death, let me live to pray to you on this and every day), for You are G‑d who hears prayers and supplications; do not turn us away empty-handed from You, our King, (and I pray to you without shame) for You hear the prayer of everyone. Blessed are You L-rd, who hears prayer.
Look with favor, L-rd our G‑d, on Your people Israel and pay heed to their prayer; restore the service to Your Sanctuary and accept with love and favor Israel's fire-offerings (when I surrender my burning lust to you) and prayer; and may the service of Your people Israel always find favor.


On Rosh Chodesh and Chol HaMoed, (Our G‑d. . . may there ascend) is recited here.
Our G‑d and G‑d of our fathers, may there ascend, come and reach, be seen, accepted, and heard, recalled and remembered before You, the remembrance and recollection of us, the remembrance of our fathers, the remembrance of Mashiach the son of David Your servant, the remembrance of Jerusalem Your holy city, and the remembrance of all Your people the House of Israel, for deliverance, well-being, grace, kindness, mercy, good life and peace, on this day of
On Rosh Chodesh: Rosh Chodesh
On the holiday of Passover: the Festival of Matzot
On the holiday of Sukkot: the Festival of Sukkot.
Remember us on this [day], L-rd our G‑d, for good; be mindful of us on this [day] for blessing; help us on this [day] for good life. With the promise of deliverance and Compassion, spare us and be gracious to us; have mercy upon us and deliver us; for our eyes are directed to You, for You, G‑d, are a gracious and merciful King.

May our eyes behold Your return to Zion in mercy. Blessed are You L-rd, who restores His Divine Presence to Zion (thank you for being in my life again, one day at a time).
We thankfully acknowledge that You are the L-rd our G‑d and G‑d of our fathers forever (Thank you for always being there for me, even if everyone else abandoned me). You are the strength of our life, the shield of our salvation in every generation. We will give thanks to You and recount Your praise, evening, morning and noon, for our lives which are committed into Your hand, for our souls which are entrusted to You, for Your miracles which are with us daily (thank you for the daily miracle of my sobriety and grant me one more day), and for Your continual wonders and beneficences (thank you for all the little ways you show me your love and caring throughout the day). You are the Beneficent One, for Your mercies never cease; the Merciful One, for Your kindnesses never end; for we always place our hope in You.

On Chanukah and Purim, the following is added.
And [we thank You] for the miracles, for the redemption, for the mighty deeds, for the saving acts, and for the wonders which You have wrought for our ancestors in those days, at this time ---
On Chanukah continue here:

In the days of Matityahu, the son of Yochanan the High Priest, the Hasmonean and his sons, when the wicked Hellenic government rose up against Your people Israel to make them forget Your Torah and violate the decrees of Your will. But You, in Your abounding mercies, stood by them in the time of their distress. You waged their battles, defended their rights and avenged the wrong done to them. You delivered the mighty into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few, the impure into the hands of the pure, the wicked into the hands of the righteous, and the wanton sinners into the hands of those who occupy themselves with Your Torah. You made a great and holy name for Yourself in Your world, and effected a great deliverance and redemption for Your people to this very day. Then Your children entered the shrine of Your House, cleansed Your Temple, purified Your Sanctuary, kindled lights in Your holy courtyards, and instituted these eight days of Chanukah to give thanks and praise to Your great Name.
On Purim continue here:
In the days of Mordechai and Esther, in Shushan the capital, when the wicked Haman rose up against them, and sought to destroy, slaughter and annihilate all the Jews, young and old, infants and women, in one day, on the thirteenth day of the twelfth month, the month ofAdar, and to take their spoil for plunder. But You, in Your abounding mercies, foiled his counsel and frustrated his intention, and caused the evil he planned --- to recoil on his own head, and they hanged him and his sons upon the gallows.


And for all these, may Your Name, our King, be continually blessed, exalted and extolled forever and all time.


During the Ten Days of Penitence add:
Inscribe all the children of Your Covenant for a good life.
And all living things shall forever thank You, and praise Your great Name eternally, for You are good. G‑d, You are our everlasting salvation and help, O benevolent G‑d. Blessed are You L-rd, Beneficent is Your Name, and to You it is fitting to offer thanks.

Bestow (inner and outer) peace, goodness and blessing, life, graciousness, kindness (may I be kind to others always) and mercy (may I feel compassion and not be judgemental towards others), upon us and upon all Your people Israel. Bless us, our Father, all of us as one, with the light of Your countenance. For by the light of Your countenance You gave us, L-rd our G‑d, the Torah of life and loving-kindness, righteousness, blessing, mercy, life and peace. May it be favorable in Your eyes to bless Your people Israel, at all times and at every moment, with Your peace (teach me how to make peace with myself, the people around me and with you in every difficult situation throughout my day).
During the Ten Days of Penitence add: And in the Book of life, blessing, peace and prosperity, deliverance, consolation and favorable decrees, may we and all Your people the House of Israel be remembered and inscribed before You for a happy life and for peace.
Blessed are You L-rd, who blesses His people Israel with peace.
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You (replace my lustful thoughts with thoughts that are pleasing to you), L-rd, my Strength and my Redeemer.
(I cannot change what other people think or say of me, help me learn to accept wha tI cannot change. And may I not be tempted to harm other people in any way. So .. ) My G‑d, guard my tongue from evil and my lips from speaking deceitfully. Let my soul be silent to those who curse me ; let my soul be like earth to all (may I be as accepting as the earth which never fights back. May I never cause harm like the earth which doesn’t burn, corrode or destroy. May I be a blessing to all like the earth which takes small seeds and returns a great bounty). Open my heart to Your Torah, and let my soul eagerly pursue Your commandments. As for all those who plot evil against me, hasten to annul their counsel and frustrate their design. Let them be as chaff before the wind; let the angel of the L-rd thrust them away. That Your beloved ones may be delivered, help with Your right hand (the hand hand of love and generosity) and answer me. Do it for the sake of Your Name (let my recovery bear witness to your care and power) ; do it for the sake of Your right hand; do it for the sake of Your Torah; do it for the sake of Your holiness (let me be holy, because your holy spark is inside my holy soul). May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable before You, L-rd, my Strength and my Redeemer.
(Let me remember to always be humble before you.)
Before reciting the following verse one should bow, and in this bowed position, take three steps backward. While still bowing, he should turn his head to his left saying, "He who makes peace in His heavens"; bow forward, saying, "may He"; turn his head to his right, saying, "make peace for us"; and finally bow forward, saying, "and for all Israel; and say, Amen".
He who makes peace (During the Ten Days of Penitence say: the peace) in His heavens, may He make peace for us and for all Israel; and say, Amen.
May it be Your will, L-rd our G‑d and G‑d of our fathers, that the Bet Hamikdash be speedily rebuilt in our days, and grant us our portion in Your Torah.
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The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk 29 Mar 2016 23:16 #282926

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This covenant eyes article was partially quoted in a recent gye email, and I wanted to share it here with you - with slight edits

Cure For Porn Addiction:  Move to Iceland?
לא מעבר לים היא לאמר מי יעלה לנו אל עבר הים...
כי קרוב אליך הדבר מאד
 
Perhaps you’ve heard the news. Iceland is gearing up to ban Internet pornography. It won’t only be a crime, it would be straight-up impossible to look at porn with government filters in place. Soon, your first step to freedom could be to move to Iceland. I’ve priced tickets.  Your flight will be less than $1000.Here’s the question, though: does banning something actually help?

Answer: no.

​Rewriting Gan Eden

Now, Iceland is considering this ban for entirely humanitarian reasons. They want to ban pornography because of the negative effects on women and children. Addicts who struggle, though, could find a ban appealing for entirely different reasons. It would be nice to be in a “temptation-free” zone. It would be nice to not have to worry about having accountability partners or that humble prayer, “God, it’s me again…sorry.”

Unfortunately, too many of us attribute our struggles to external causes. We blame our struggles on the overuse of sex in advertising, the immodesty of people at the store, or the latest blockbuster replete with sex scenes. If everyone else in the world got with the purity program, we would be fine.

How many times have you tried to rewrite Gan Eden?  I know there have been times when I have said, “God, if I were You, I would have surrounded that tree of wisdom with a barbed wire fence and zapped that snake.”
Why would God put temptation smack in the middle of the Garden and make it “pleasing to the eyes” and desirable? At the very least He could have created a fruit that was ugly, difficult to chew, and stunk. If He had done that, then Adam and Eve wouldn’t have had this problem, and then we wouldn’t have this problem.
We do the same thing now. “God, if I were You, I would have given me a switch or something. Why would you put me smack in the middle of temptation and make it so beautiful? Why couldn’t all the Uplifting religious movies be well-made and the romantic ones be cheesy?”

We are the problem

We want this life of freedom to be easy. We get frustrated with God when it is hard: if it wasn’t so available; if society didn’t accept it so freely; if it wasn’t so mainstream; if God would intervene and just wipe out the Internet and set us back a couple millennia…then I would be fine.Here’s the problem: Temptation is not the problem. For that matter, pornography is not the problem.

Ban it all you would like. Restrict all access. But don’t forget that sexual immorality was present in the Midbar, and they didn’t have Internet.

Is pornography a problem in society? Yes. Does pornography have damaging effects on individuals, women, children, and men alike? Yes. But pornography is not the problem—we are the problem

As long as we try to externalize our struggle and blame it on everything else under the sun, we will never find true freedom. Filters, bans, and accountability all have their place.  Like crutches to a broken leg, they support and make the process to healing much better, but they do not fix the leg.Likewise for us, our struggles stem from our own fallen nature. Does society have an influence in our struggle? Certainly.

Does the ease of access of pornography make our struggle more difficult? Yes. Can bans and filters ease that difficulty? Certainly. But they do nothing to fix our problem.Our problem can only be fixed by the mercy and kindness of the true Gd . That power can only act when we acknowledge that we actually need it. It is in our nature to blame and to try and strong-will our way out of things. At the end of the day, though, our willpower can never get us freedom. In fact, our strong will usually ends up getting us in more trouble.

So, before you make plans to pack your bags and head to Iceland, do something else first: Acknowledge your responsibility in this struggle. Regardless of the temptations of the world around you, you are misusing the desires Hashem granted you. All the bans in the world won’t bring the healing you need. Only He can do that, but only if you get out of the way and let HiM
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