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ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped
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On this board, everyone is encouraged to share their journey through the 18 tools of the GYE handbook and get Chizuk and answers from everyone else here as well!

The GYE handbook provides a systematic framework for breaking free of this addiction. But just reading it alone won’t do very much if we don’t “work” the tools therein. So after reading through the GYE handbook once, we go back and start again from the beginning, this time taking it slowly and giving each tool a lot of careful thought. Have we tried the first few tools yet? What parts have we still not tried? Do we have questions, comments, doubts about any of the tools? Slowly but surely, tool by tool, day by day, the GYE handbook - together with the group support of this board - will provide you with the best framework possible for systematic growth and progress.
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TOPIC: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 2422 Views

ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 04 Oct 2010 01:15 #79422

  • Shteeble
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3. Believing that we CAN be helped
Some people think that if they are unmarried and have no outlet, they cannot possibly remain
clean indefinitely. This is patently false. We have helped many Bochurim to achieve complete
abstinence and we have many testimonials of Bochurim who were addicted and broke free using
the right tools, the right attitude and determination. In some ways, it is even easier for Bochurim
to refrain completely from lust, since they have no need to indulge in it at all. Below is an excerpt
from an article on the Internet over here:
If a male doesn't ejaculate for a long period of time nothing noticeable happens. There is no
buildup of pressure or extra sperm. Our bodies are always reabsorbing and disposing of extra
material, including excess components of the ejaculate. It is perfectly natural to not ejaculate for a
long period of time. There are no risks or heath problems associated with not ejaculating.
Read the many recovery stories on our website (and on the new site as well) to see for yourself
how people even worse off than you were able to break free.
- 6 -
Having this condition does not let us off the hook. We may have an illness, but we are fully
responsible for our recovery, and once we know that we CAN recover, acting out will never be the
same.
Last Edit: 04 Oct 2010 01:31 by .

Re: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 04 Oct 2010 01:20 #79425

this is pretty straightforward again.
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Re: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 04 Oct 2010 01:23 #79426

  • Shteeble
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3. Believing that we CAN be helped

My abridged version:

-blank-

finished.


I fail to see how the title fits this attitude.
Perhaps it should be renamed "Yes, a bochur CAN stop."

It is important for bochurim to know this attitude however.
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Re: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 07 Oct 2010 18:29 #79909

  • ZemirosShabbos
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i agree that it seems targeted to bochurim. there is an important message here for married people as well. the message here is that - sex is optional -
if you are a bochur and obviously do not have a kosher outlet or if it is during the half a month when things are assur or a medical reason or too tired or whatever. just because relations are assur is not a justification to fall. we can help ourselves keep out of falling even if a permitted outlet is not available.
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
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Re: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 08 Oct 2010 14:00 #80005

  • Shteeble
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Very good Zemiros.

So a bochur has to believe that even though he doesn't have pas b'saloy he can still hold back from the aveiroh.

And a married man has to believe that EVEN THOUGH HE DOES have pas b'saloy, he can still hold back from the aveiroh!

I have seen the opinion here, and of am the opinion myself as well, that it is much harder for a married person to hold back from the aveiroh. 

My understanding is that a bochur cashes in more on the mareivo suhvaya  (if you starve it, it will be satisfied)  whereas a married man will never be starving it completely.

Thanks for posting with us.

Let me know what you think.

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Re: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 08 Oct 2010 14:08 #80006

  • ZemirosShabbos
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i have seen the exact idea you mentioned on GYE as well (don't remember exactly where) that married folks cannot shut off the whole operation for obvious reasons while bochurim can go with the mar'ivo approach, as you mentioned.
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ
Last Edit: by .

Re: ATTITUDE #3 Believing That We CAN Be Helped 19 Dec 2015 23:55 #271795

  • Josephsbrother
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Believe that Elohim, bless is he, bless is me, and nothing less. I believe One will not fail me, so all I need is to keep my will in His hand, when I don' t remember, One is my memory. when I am out of energy, I wait on Him, and He renews my strength. when I get stun, I get tie my spiritual knot and only rest in Him. I practice most of the time E=M2 the law of relativity of Sublime Relative. His presence, is always present, as I am present, for the present, and His answer is always present, so rest is the law of E=M2, elect to choose full dependence on the only One to take us fully through no matter what, as long as we are in Him for righteousness. He promised on His name, and for His character sake, He does not change, nor repent! I have never fail Him when my weak hand is in His strong hand, for it is the strength of His might which in times of weakness carries us in Him. We should seek Him with all the mind and heart when we are reminded of our weak connection, then if we stray, He will remind us, for His name has two Heys in it, He is the Revealing One, He cannot break his word, every thing depends whether we will do it by ourselves, or if we seek sublime help of the Ace of space, in one Uni~verse.
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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