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A reMARKable noteBOOK
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On this board, everyone is encouraged to share their journey through the 18 tools of the GYE handbook and get Chizuk and answers from everyone else here as well!

The GYE handbook provides a systematic framework for breaking free of this addiction. But just reading it alone won’t do very much if we don’t “work” the tools therein. So after reading through the GYE handbook once, we go back and start again from the beginning, this time taking it slowly and giving each tool a lot of careful thought. Have we tried the first few tools yet? What parts have we still not tried? Do we have questions, comments, doubts about any of the tools? Slowly but surely, tool by tool, day by day, the GYE handbook - together with the group support of this board - will provide you with the best framework possible for systematic growth and progress.
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TOPIC: A reMARKable noteBOOK 8631 Views

A reMARKable noteBOOK 05 May 2016 01:59 #286679

  • Markz
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Without much ado here goes - following the sagacious advice of Skeptic to read the Handbook, and Cordnoy that also encouraged me to invest in the White Book, now let the reading begin. Thank you guys!!!

All it takes is 5+ Minutes a day, and noting any important info or notes
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
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Last Edit: 05 May 2016 04:35 by Markz.

Re: My re'MARK'able noteBOOK 05 May 2016 02:00 #286680

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Important Pages I'd promote, i'd like to note the page numbers on this 2nd post, so it stays on the 1st page here
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Re: My re'MARK'able noteBOOK 05 May 2016 02:04 #286681

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Summary of Important Notes I'd like to share, will reside on this 3rd post, so it stays on the 1st page here
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Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 05 May 2016 02:59 #286688

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GYE HANDBOOK
Page 12: Reporting Software

Tools

GYE dropdown only shows "Filters", whereas Accountability is hard to find under the filter website

Comment: I think "Filters" Should be changed to "Safeguards", and also Accountability better explained 

How many of you know that a regular smartphone / iphone can have the regular browser totally locked, and use a dedicated 'webchaver / Accountability' Browser?

Is that info found anywhere on GYE?
I'm not the only one that plays games with filters, others do too, and therefore 'Accountability' should be offered clearly separately

Moreover, I personally do not use any filtering, but rely entirely on my faithful 'Accountability' partner

I gleaned from the handbook, that people who don't “acting out” (viewing inappropriate material and/or hoto’as zera livatala) can suffice with filtering

IMHO, this is great for their kids (I'm being sarcastic) who know how to bypass filtering
Even if the father can rely on filter for himself, but for his family he should have Accountability Software, to ensure a safe environment

My 2 cents

Edit: The following is from page 19

. Even if we have a filter installed, it is important to have accountability software. When lust attacks, an addict can usually find a way around his filter, but if he knows that his partner will see all the sites he is trying to access, it will be a far stronger deterrent. If you are having a hard time finding a partner or you’re too embarrassed, use our Knas Based Accountability program at www.gye.org.il/kba (minimum $100 Knas for every bad report). 

 

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Last Edit: 11 May 2016 00:58 by Markz.

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 05 May 2016 15:27 #286772

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Today is day 2 of surf-reading the handbook, This is a public thread - All are invited to write your own comments etc etc

One thing I don't want to do here is copy and paste whole pages from the GYE Handbook or Whitebook
If you find any remarkable things to share, please note those for our inspiration too, eg page number and what you found can be a great tool etc
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Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 05 May 2016 16:25 #286788

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markz wrote on 05 May 2016 02:59:
GYE HANDBOOK
Page 12: Reporting Software

Tools

GYE dropdown only shows "Filters", whereas Accountability is hard to find under the filter website

Comment: I think "Filters" Should be changed to "Safeguards", and also Accountability better explained 

How many of you know that a regular smartphone / iphone can have the regular browser totally locked, and use a dedicated 'webchaver / Accountability' Browser?

Is that info found anywhere on GYE?
I'm not the only one that plays games with filters, others do too, and therefore 'Accountability' should be offered clearly separately

Moreover, I personally do not use any filtering, but rely entirely on my faithful 'Accountability' partner

I gleaned from the handbook, that people who don't “acting out” (viewing inappropriate material and/or hoto’as zera livatala) can suffice with filtering

IMHO, this is great for their kids (I'm being sarcastic) who know how to bypass filtering
Even if the father can rely on filter for himself, but for his family he should have Accountability Software, to ensure a safe environment

My 2 cents


When you do that on the iPhone there is still a problem because you can access a browser through many apps, so what you have to do is also add restrictions on browsing- either white list or youth.

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 05 May 2016 16:59 #286794

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I personally don't use my iPhone for work, so I suffice with white list, and hadn't tested what you say

Go to
Settings > General > Restrictions

Is it not possible to totally restrict / block the regular browser?
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Last Edit: 05 May 2016 17:06 by Markz.

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 02:20 #286873

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Handbook pg 12-13

Summary of GYE program #3 + #4

There is what to comment on, but I hope to read the elaborations first
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Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 04:27 #286898

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markz wrote on 05 May 2016 02:59:
IMHO, this is great for their kids (I'm being sarcastic) who know how to bypass filtering
Even if the father can rely on filter for himself, but for his family he should have Accountability Software, to ensure a safe environment

My 2 cents

Mark,

Accountability by its nature does not ensure a safe environment, especially for kids.

Filters are a technical preventative.
Accountability is a behavioral deterrent.

Accountability without filtering is pointless, especially for kids, who are hopefully not yet searching to bypass filters, or accountability software, in order to access porn.
For example, my children legitimately need to go online for school work. I'm sure you know as well as I do that the most innocent Google search can return inappropriate matches in the Images results. If not for the filter that I use to block images, I would be terrified to allow my children to use the internet for school, even when I am right there monitoring their usage live.
If you want to protect your children from exposure to inappropriate images, it wont help to be notified after the fact by the accountability software.
Just my half a cent.
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Last Edit: 06 May 2016 04:28 by eslaasos.

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 15:11 #286960

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Mark,

I am sorry if I was a little rough in my previous post. I felt that your post was potentially very harmful to others who rightfully respect you and read your posts with great interest.
If I'm wrong, I hope someone will correct me, but until that happens, I think the message to bash filters and promote accountability software in its place is very dangerous.
Putting aside that I meant this for everyone (because even the worst addicts have innocent children), but these forums are read by thousands of anonymous guests whose level of "addiction" varies widely.

Please keep going with the review, and like any good book club, critique may invite more discussion which will hopefully be mutually beneficial.
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Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 15:46 #286966

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.
Last Edit: 08 May 2016 15:18 by Abie.

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 16:01 #286969

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Laasos, I didn't hear any critique

But I think you misunderstood

Where did I say to use only Reporting System for kids, and exclude filtering?

Please read it again

I meant that many kids are cleverer than their filter / parents, and I've found accountability software more reliable to track any instances of breach c'v, but yes it is not a protection - I'm sure you understand the difference. 

I wanted to thank you for your post, because it's an encouraging push to install filtering on my devices

I personally don't allow my kids online unsupervised, which is why I had delayed adding filtering

"Thank you for posting and thank you for listening"
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Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 17:35 #286983

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markz wrote on 05 May 2016 16:59:
I personally don't use my iPhone for work, so I suffice with white list, and hadn't tested what you say

Go to
Settings > General > Restrictions

Is it not possible to totally restrict / block the regular browser?


I think even if you restrict Safari you can still access the browser through the apps, so you have to restrict on the browsing settings as well. Otherwise, you can load the browser through all ********** (don't want to cause issues) and many others.

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 18:13 #286989

  • Shlomo24
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Filters are good. But I wouldn't want then to be the only thing stopping me from acting out, what a terrible life that would be.
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com

Re: A reMARKable noteBOOK 06 May 2016 18:53 #287000

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We all agree about that

Besides for the few that are still trial'ing and error'ing, and I know of those unfortunately
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