Guard Your Eyes - Forum Kunena Site Syndication https://guardyoureyes.com Wed, 23 Jan 2019 19:36:34 +0000 Kunena 1.6 https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/icons/rss.png Guard Your Eyes - Forum https://guardyoureyes.com/ en-gb Subject: Daven for me ill daven for you !! - by: ydid https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338449-Daven-for-me-ill-daven-for-you-%21%21#338449 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338449-Daven-for-me-ill-daven-for-you-%21%21#338449
We are all in this together. Nobody knows our struggles better then a GYE member. 

Lets Share Our names and mothers name to davin for each others success.

Its also a way to REACH OUT to other. part of the recovery. 

[If willing to stay anonymous you can post the GYE username - hashem knows..] 
Names can be posted on this thread. 
!!!!!כל המתפלל בעד חבירו הוא נענה תחילה
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Break Free Mon, 14 Jan 2019 20:04:02 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338449-Daven-for-me-ill-daven-for-you-%21%21#338449
Subject: Filter free - by: ManWhoStumbles https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338399-Filter-free#338399 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338399-Filter-free#338399 Break Free Sun, 13 Jan 2019 01:17:43 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338399-Filter-free#338399 Subject: Best Strategy to Start - by: HolyNatan https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338366-Best-Strategy-to-Start#338366 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338366-Best-Strategy-to-Start#338366 Break Free Thu, 10 Jan 2019 21:50:26 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338366-Best-Strategy-to-Start#338366 Subject: Addicted to RECOVERY(???) - by: EscapeArtist https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338268-Addicted-to-RECOVERY%28%29#338268 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338268-Addicted-to-RECOVERY%28%29#338268 Over the past few weeks I dove in full force, busy all day with friends from GYE, friends from PA, friends from SA, therapists, reading the big black book, the almost as big white book, sneaking to meetings, etc etc.
I feel much more like I'm living a double life now than I did before...
Just like before I can't concentrate on work, learning, davening, chatting with my wife, etc.
Anyone ever experience this before?
Are there any Recoverholics Anonymous groups? I'd love to find more groups I can join...]]>
Break Free Mon, 07 Jan 2019 18:48:27 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338268-Addicted-to-RECOVERY%28%29#338268
Subject: sharing with your spouse your challenge???? - by: ydid https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338243-sharing-with-your-spouse-your-challenge#338243 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338243-sharing-with-your-spouse-your-challenge#338243  But : maybe its like a wall between you a her that should not to be there.

please share you experience and  thoughts about the topic. 



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Break Free Sun, 06 Jan 2019 21:18:00 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338243-sharing-with-your-spouse-your-challenge#338243
Subject: Group therapy - by: EscapeArtist https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338242-Group-therapy#338242 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338242-Group-therapy#338242 I started both SA & group therapy; but therapy=$$$$$...
Is it necessary if Im doing SA a few times a week?
Thanks]]>
Break Free Sun, 06 Jan 2019 21:15:28 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338242-Group-therapy#338242
Subject: Self Destructive Behaviour, Why we repeatedly fall - by: ColinColin https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338238-Self-Destructive-Behaviour-Why-we-repeatedly-fall#338238 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338238-Self-Destructive-Behaviour-Why-we-repeatedly-fall#338238
It highlights why we can use acting out as a means of coping with problems, and why we go back to it when stressed.

The article does not provide immediate answers to the problem, but is worth reading anyway.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201512/understanding-self-destructive-dysregulated-behaviors

This article provides some ways how to fix the self-destructive behaviour

psychcentral.com/lib/breaking-the-cycle-of-shame-and-self-destructive-behavior/]]>
Break Free Sun, 06 Jan 2019 17:56:40 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338238-Self-Destructive-Behaviour-Why-we-repeatedly-fall#338238
Subject: The Long War Journal - by: airmale613 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338113-The-Long-War-Journal#338113 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338113-The-Long-War-Journal#338113
I am 40 years old and have struggled with MZL as long as I can remember. I grew up modern frum in a house that took the medical/science route on this issue as being healthy. By the time I got older and learned more, I was trapped. 

Lately, I have experiences a few minor parnassa/health issues which gave me pause. It was the shot across the bow that I needed for serious introspection. Long story short, I am not in control, G-d is. And if G-d is in control, what am I doing callously making excuses for aveiros that will keep me from olam haba. 

I initially joined this group in 2013 when Hashem sent me my first shot across the bow. I think I hit 50-60 days or something like that. Then as soon as I had my first fall, the yetzer hora had an opening that he capitalized on and I haven't really gotten up until now. I feel that I am blessed in that I am not necessarily addicted to websites or other material, but my acting out was a symptom of emptiness/loneliness/boredom/etc. There were times I acted out for no reason whatsoever, I was just bored. 

But this is it. This is the long war that I am committed to. I want to do complete tshuva. For what it's worth, I thought I'd share a few things that have helped me.
1. Commit. Realize that the intent is to win every single battle. There is no defeat. In the past, I realized that planning for how to deal with a fall in excess gives the Y'H an opening to allow it to happen. "A fall won't be so bad, you'll just keep going", the YH says.
2. Learn as much as humanly possible about this subject. You need a constant stream of chizzuk, even on good days.
3. Learn how your Y'H works, then outsmart him. The best way to win a fight is to avoid one.
4. Create a fuse breaker in your mind that immediately flips in your mind when an impure thought enters. For instance, as soon as something enters your mind, within 1 second focus your mind on something like olam haba, the parsha, etc. The key is to flip the breaker immediately.  
5. Learn about the bracha that is promised to those that fight their temptation.]]>
Break Free Mon, 31 Dec 2018 16:15:11 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/338113-The-Long-War-Journal#338113