Guard Your Eyes - Forum Kunena Site Syndication https://guardyoureyes.com Tue, 19 Nov 2019 15:10:41 +0000 Kunena 1.6 https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/icons/rss.png Guard Your Eyes - Forum https://guardyoureyes.com/ en-gb Subject: Need My Struggling Brothers To Listen - by: Mark18 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345221-Need-My-Struggling-Brothers-To-Listen#345221 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345221-Need-My-Struggling-Brothers-To-Listen#345221 I really appreciate this forum and the opportunity to speak openly with guys who really understand my struggle. I really need to share this. I am clean for three weeks but the desire to masturbate is very often overwhelming. Frankly I would give in big time and probably go on a major binge. To tell the truth it is not the aveira itself thats stopping me but the fear of onesh and the fact that if I give in it will really distance me from my relationship with Hashem. I'm certainly not a tzadik or perhaps have the closest relationship with Hashem but I truly believe from the depths of my heart and soul that Hashem is my father. I find myself going to shul late at night when I'm sure I'm absolutely alone and talk to my Father openly without embarrassment and really cry and pour out my heart and soul to Him about everything in my life and my struggles with Shmiras Eynaim and masturbation. If I give in I know it will really distance me from him and it will take a long time and a lot of crying to get back to where I was in my closeness to my Father and I don't want to risk that happening like it did the last time I fell three weeks ago where I not only felt horrible, devestated and guilty but also knew that my relationship with my Father was damaged. The only thing is that those two things are the only things that stop me from masturbating but not the fact that it is an aveira itself. So I really feel lacking in my Yiras Shomayim because of this. Does anyone have any insights or thoughts on this. I would really appreciate my brothers here to share their experiences and feelings with me. I'm sorry this post has been so long but I had a lot to say from my heart. Thanks for listening.]]> Break Free Tue, 19 Nov 2019 01:25:44 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345221-Need-My-Struggling-Brothers-To-Listen#345221 Subject: I got a virus - by: farblunjet https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345139-I-got-a-virus#345139 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345139-I-got-a-virus#345139 avyris, and now I got a virus. ]]> Break Free Thu, 14 Nov 2019 17:10:37 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345139-I-got-a-virus#345139 Subject: Bad Guilt - by: Captain https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345117-Bad-Guilt#345117 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345117-Bad-Guilt#345117
I found a great section on this subject from The Battle of the Generation (https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation). It really resonated with me, and I wanted to share it with everyone. Here is a quote from the book (pages 347-348):

When you sin, the yetzer hara might cause some of the following thoughts:

            “I am a failure. The sin I just did makes me worthless. I am off the derech, exactly like those who have rejected everything. I am just as bad. I am a sinner.

            “I should have controlled myself. I could have done better. If I had just pushed myself harder, I would have won the battle. It would have been so simple for me to control myself had I tried harder, but I blew it again! I should have much more control over myself.

            “I am so ashamed. I’m embarrassed to even go near anybody. Anyone who would know what I did would look down on me. Nobody would empathize with me about my struggles, not that there is much to empathize with anyway. Everybody does much better than me. I am probably the only person who does these things. No one else sins in this area, and I give in left and right. I am messed up.

            “All the good I ever did is meaningless because I did this huge sin. I am horrible. How hard I fought and my effort to change myself is irrelevant; my sin is all that matters.

“Even though I labored and managed to control myself for the past two days, two weeks, or two months, that is worthless. I am the same out of control person I always was. All my effort was a waste; I’m just as horrible as I was before.

“Besides, any good I did doesn’t count because I was obligated to do it anyway. All that matters is falling short — which I just did when I violated my obligations.

            “I bet Hashem is furious with me. He hates me and has rejected me. It is hopeless! He will always look down on me. Even if I do teshuva, Hashem won’t accept it. It’s impossible to undo something this severe. I did it; how can I get rid of it?

            “Further, what happened is all my fault. I brought everything upon myself when I befriended those people and experimented with these sins. Had I controlled myself then, things would be so easy. If I didn’t watch those movies and hang out with those friends, I would still be pure. I activated my desires.

            “And now that I have awakened my temptations, it is too late. I can’t stop myself. I am incapable, as I just proved. I do these things. I am an addict and I will never regain control, no matter what I do. I can’t even improve the situation. I’m doomed.”

            These thoughts intensify the more severe the sin is. They are especially tough when it is something you haven’t done before. You feel so guilty, worthless, and helpless that it keeps you stuck in the muck. The first step is to realize that these thoughts come from the yetzer hara. They destroy your drive to serve Hashem and stop you from improving. That automatically shows it’s one of his tricks, no matter how convincing these arguments seem. Then, we can think about the situation rationally and figure out how these thoughts are incorrect.


Do any of these resonate with you? Are you able to see such thoughts making it harder for you to break free?

(See the book for more on how to deflect these thoughts, starting on page 348. Or start from the beginning of the chapter on page 341. Download the book here: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation.)

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Break Free Wed, 13 Nov 2019 19:31:30 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345117-Bad-Guilt#345117
Subject: Ideas for social activities? - by: farblunjet https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345027-Ideas-for-social-activities#345027 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345027-Ideas-for-social-activities#345027
Just last week I'd had a few very busy days at work and had to get my mind off work related issues, and couldn't think of anything to do or someplace to go that would distract me enough, and I succumbed.]]>
Break Free Sun, 10 Nov 2019 10:50:01 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/345027-Ideas-for-social-activities#345027
Subject: Tips to deal with sudden awakening during night - by: David26fr https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344963-Tips-to-deal-with-sudden-awakening-during-night#344963 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344963-Tips-to-deal-with-sudden-awakening-during-night#344963
Do you have some tips on how to deal with sudden awakening and a strong desire during night ?

For example : I am sleeping, and suddenly I awaken with a big desire, and before I realized it I am touchind myself... 

80% of my last falls were under these circumstances...

Mindfulness perhaps ?

Thanks !]]>
Break Free Thu, 07 Nov 2019 08:46:09 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344963-Tips-to-deal-with-sudden-awakening-during-night#344963
Subject: Can’t seem to stop and I know it’s my iPhone - by: ccb73 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344875-Can%E2%80%99t-seem-to-stop-and-I-know-it%E2%80%99s-my-iPhone#344875 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344875-Can%E2%80%99t-seem-to-stop-and-I-know-it%E2%80%99s-my-iPhone#344875
Everytime I want to disable an app I need to call them to restrict the app. But it’s a long process and finally I cannot access it. However, I search for similar app of the same category and find one. I’m so disappointed and feel destroyed due to my inability to control myself.

i would appreciate a reply so I can maybe be more specific and finally get some help! HELP!]]>
Break Free Sun, 03 Nov 2019 23:57:00 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344875-Can%E2%80%99t-seem-to-stop-and-I-know-it%E2%80%99s-my-iPhone#344875
Subject: Dear fellow anxiety sufferers - by: transforming https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344568-Dear-fellow-anxiety-sufferers#344568 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344568-Dear-fellow-anxiety-sufferers#344568 Dear fellow anxiety sufferers,



First some of my background: I am in my twenties, and I am blessed by HKB"H with a good life KA"H. I am completely Shomer Torah U'Mitzvos, have a job and live in a Frum community.



I have first become exposed to Shmutz five years ago. Without getting in to details, my very first exposure to Shmutz took place after I was gruesomely hurt (in a figurative sense) by an individual, who did not even intend to hurt me, yet did so unintentionally. That event led me to Shmutz, which eventually led me to five years of sporadic Shmutz consumption.



I joined GYE nine or ten months ago, and was encouraged to finally open my own forum by fellow member 360gye.



Now that I shared my basic background, let me share with you what I am looking for on this forum;



Over the course of the last few years, I easily detected specifically what triggers me to fall, and what causes me to stay afloat.



Ever since I was a young child I suffered from unreasonable anxiety. The smallest of life incidents terrified me from a young age. For example; I always lived and continue to live in utter fear that any of my immediate family members may die any moment unexpectedly, or may go broke and starve among other fears. Circumstantially, I have no reason to believe this whatsoever Baruch Hashem, yet I cannot get rid of these fears and dozens of similar fears.



Naturally, I have consciously and subconsciously tailored my day-to-day lifestyle to curb these fears, and thankfully, I do pretty well on days that I busy, and am well fed and well rested.



However, I cannot escape my anxiety at various times of the year, and upon various occurrences. For example, Yom Tov can be tense for several reasons, and my anxiety is always exacerbated around Yom Tov time. Similarly, I usually become particularly anxious days or sometimes even weeks before I travel.



Since I have been exposed to Shmutz, I have had some pretty long clean streaks, without falling whatsoever. I have gone as long as 7.5 months without falling whatsoever. The overwhelming majority of my falls was a result of my anxiety [only some of my falls were a result of loneliness and / or boredom]. When I would be in Yeshiva doing well and socializing with others, I would go months without falling, and shortly before Bein Hazemanim would begin, my anxiety would kick in, and I would fall, sometimes even three or four times a day. Then, I would continue to fall Bein Hazemanim due to the heightened anxiety throughout Bein Hazemanim, and then I would return to Yeshiva and be clean for months, until my next anxiety phase kicked in.



This pattern continues in my working life. When I go to work and succeed, I can go months without even urges to act out, yet as soon as life throws me a curveball, and I my anxiety kicks in, I fall.



While I have never been officially diagnosed with anxiety, I am confident [based on several factors] that I suffer from GAD (a form of anxiety).



So dear fellow anxiety sufferers; if you can relate to my nightmares, please help!!! I refuse to surrender to my Yetzer Hora, yet I need a hand…



Thank you, and can't wait to hear from you

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Break Free Mon, 28 Oct 2019 04:08:52 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344568-Dear-fellow-anxiety-sufferers#344568
Subject: Sur mera' va'aseih-tov - by: Here https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344297-Sur-mera-vaaseih-tov#344297 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344297-Sur-mera-vaaseih-tov#344297 Sur mera and now realize I need the Aseih-tov. My posting is the Aseih-tov; G-d willing, may I succeed. Love to hear from you all.  ]]> Break Free Sun, 20 Oct 2019 20:09:57 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/344297-Sur-mera-vaaseih-tov#344297