Guard Your Eyes - Forum Kunena Site Syndication https://guardyoureyes.com Tue, 19 Mar 2019 18:43:00 +0000 Kunena 1.6 https://guardyoureyes.com/components/com_kunena/template/default/images/icons/rss.png Guard Your Eyes - Forum https://guardyoureyes.com/ en-gb Subject: AGAIN!?!? - by: johnfrumgye https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339663-AGAIN%21%21#339663 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339663-AGAIN%21%21#339663 Break Free Thu, 14 Mar 2019 13:40:51 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339663-AGAIN%21%21#339663 Subject: Master****ion Options - by: Breakfreenow https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339658-Master%2A%2A%2A%2Aion-Options#339658 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339658-Master%2A%2A%2A%2Aion-Options#339658
I understand and know that there is an Eissur of Zerea Lvatola!
That being said is there any options for me with very strong urges.
1) when my wife is not clean or not interested, - she does not know about my issue.
2) even with her is there only one way...

if there is a way to reply privately with pleasure ...

I am lost and don't think I have the koach to stop cold turkey.

Thanks for listing   ]]>
Break Free Thu, 14 Mar 2019 11:44:00 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339658-Master%2A%2A%2A%2Aion-Options#339658
Subject: mindless internet surfing for arousing material - by: bonobo https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339647-mindless-internet-surfing-for-arousing-material#339647 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339647-mindless-internet-surfing-for-arousing-material#339647 Break Free Thu, 14 Mar 2019 03:31:27 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339647-mindless-internet-surfing-for-arousing-material#339647 Subject: Struggles even with filters - by: bonobo https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339640-Struggles-even-with-filters#339640 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339640-Struggles-even-with-filters#339640 Break Free Thu, 14 Mar 2019 03:11:51 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339640-Struggles-even-with-filters#339640 Subject: Question about nocturnal emissions - by: Hyr https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339449-Question-about-nocturnal-emissions#339449 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339449-Question-about-nocturnal-emissions#339449 My problem is that I'm pretty well along into my sobriety and I work hard to control my thoughts. However - I still get many nocturnal emissions - often times even during a daytime nap. There are many days that it seems that I wasn't at all thinking about anything bad, or "at least" had a single thought for a few moments - and yet, I still see keri! 
I was wondering if anyone has an idea what's going on? Could there be another cause to this? Maybe stress?]]>
Break Free Thu, 07 Mar 2019 06:55:05 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339449-Question-about-nocturnal-emissions#339449
Subject: Temptation - by: seinayim https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339424-Temptation#339424 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339424-Temptation#339424 Break Free Wed, 06 Mar 2019 15:28:47 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339424-Temptation#339424 Subject: Need Help Maintaining The Right Mindset. - by: johnfrumgye https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339405-Need-Help-Maintaining-The-Right-Mindset#339405 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339405-Need-Help-Maintaining-The-Right-Mindset#339405 I’m a 28-year-old married man and I admit I have a Sex/Lust addiction. I’ve been battling this addiction for quite some time now and went to get help by attending SA. My longest clean streak was 29 days and fell. I’m currently 11 days clean trying to avoid lust and triggers wherever they may be. On my way to work today I was walking down the street and half a block in front of me I saw a woman who was wearing dark stockings and a skirt which was too short for this weather or for any weather a matter of fact. As soon as I saw her, I crossed the street so I wouldn’t take another look. While I was crossing the street, I just hatted the fact that because I am an addict, I had to cross the street and I was not able to be like a normal person who would just forget about her as soon as she walks by. This type of mindset of hating myself for not being “normal” led me to my last fall. On one hand I understand that I have to stay away from certain scenes and situations because it might take over me but on the other hand, I still want to enjoy the simple things and not have to hide myself like an overly sensitive fool.



 



I know I need to maintain the right mindset. This reminds me of what we read in SA “What is a Sexaholic and What is Sexual Sobriety” I edited it to speak to myself “I admit to sexual obsession or compulsion but i simply want to control and enjoy it, much as the alcoholic would like to control and enjoy drinking But I know any form of drinking will drive me to the point of despair, until we really wanted to stop but could not I did not FULLY give myself to this program of recovery. Sexaholics Anonymous is for ME who know I have no other option but to stop, and their own enlightened self-interest must tell them this……My issue is…I am still doubting the last sentence because I feel like I can control it and need to remind myself that I really can’t. How do I maintain the right mindset without feeling like an ADDICT? Is that even possible?

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Break Free Tue, 05 Mar 2019 16:34:25 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339405-Need-Help-Maintaining-The-Right-Mindset#339405
Subject: I don't want to be frum anymore - by: Laayzerbeem https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339384-I-dont-want-to-be-frum-anymore#339384 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339384-I-dont-want-to-be-frum-anymore#339384
My life has gotten worse and worse since I became frum, and I can't help but believe that is what's to blame for the majority of my misery and discomfort. I've heard all the vorts, seen all the videos, heard all the chizzuk, learned a significant amount of Chassidus, mussar, Torah, etc. I was a rabbi of a congregation, I attended seven yeshivas and they were some of the worst experiences of my life. 
I want so badly for someone to take me under their wing and help turn these negative feelings around, but I know I can't expect others to save me, especially when I'm not a child anymore. I also understand that there are more contributing factors to my situation. But, I am sure if Yiddishkeit weren't a factor to consider, I would be able to cope much better with the other issues, and feel better about waking up in the morning. 
My brother asked me this morning if I was "living my best life," and my response was "nope, the opposite." I do gratitude excersises daily, I'm in two recovery programs, I've read so, so many self-help books and articles, and my career is literally all about helping others. 
Why haven't I left the fold? I believe in Hashem. And I believe Torah is Emes. So where do I go next?
Thanks for letting me share. ]]>
Break Free Tue, 05 Mar 2019 00:28:20 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339384-I-dont-want-to-be-frum-anymore#339384
Subject: Going through the preamble - by: mikestrucking https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339241-Going-through-the-preamble#339241 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339241-Going-through-the-preamble#339241 Here I go again with an idea let's see how long this lasts. The idea is to post daily (or often) my thoughts about the preamble to an S.A. meeting in the hopes that somehow this will help me.
I'll start with "What is a sexaholic and what is sexual sobriety".
The first thing said is "We can only speak for ourselves" which means (to me) that we don't even have a monopoly on sexaholism. We simply explain "in terms of what we call the sexaholic". Which I understand to mean that the following definition will be what we work with to achieve recovery as defined by us. If someone wants what we have to offer they are more than welcome. If not, no problem perhaps there is indeed another form of recovery.]]>
Break Free Tue, 26 Feb 2019 08:38:16 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339241-Going-through-the-preamble#339241
Subject: Urgent: Please Help Me! - by: TheSicarioWarrior https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339146-Urgent-Please-Help-Me%21#339146 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339146-Urgent-Please-Help-Me%21#339146 I had, as of 2 days ago, celebrated my longest streak in 5 months-17 days. After a horrible turn of events, I have watched porn 15 times in the last 48 hours alone. Never have I felt so powerless and horrible.
I NEED HELP!
PLEASE, help me beat this yetzer hara with any advice or tools you can give me. I am at such a loss and cannot stop!
PLEASE HELP!]]>
Break Free Thu, 21 Feb 2019 22:17:26 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339146-Urgent-Please-Help-Me%21#339146
Subject: Filtering Help - by: heemircha https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339128-Filtering-Help#339128 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339128-Filtering-Help#339128 Break Free Thu, 21 Feb 2019 03:21:35 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339128-Filtering-Help#339128 Subject: Desperate Dreams - by: bymknh https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339092-Desperate-Dreams#339092 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339092-Desperate-Dreams#339092 I'm going to skip my long and painful journey as lately it has been in a pretty low place. I never had internet at home and would only fall periodically when I had to take care of something out of the house online. I recently moved and now require a home computer but of course, I installed the best filter TAG recommended. Let's just say I can write the book on how to get around your filter when you want to "explore". I even called the filter company in times of strength to have them remove the loopholes, but I've found more since then.
I'm writing now because I've recently been having these disturbing dreams at night and I want to know if anyone else experienced this.
I would dream that something terrible is happening; such as someone breaking into my house, or witnessing or being involved in a car accident or some other scary situation that would require emergency services. I would then try to call 911 but I'm never able to get it right. Usually I dial the wrong numbers, but sometimes the phone just doesn't work and I'm never able to get through to police. I then wake up in desperation and realize it was a dream. It's come to a point where I just had such a dream a couple of nights ago and actually told myself in the dream that it must be a dream because I was unable to dial.
(I'm shaking as I write this btw)
I searched online (not recommended), and found that many other people have these exact dreams and the "Posrei Chalomos" of the internet all say that such recurring dreams mean a person is going through some severe anxiety and desperation in his life- something which needs immediate help, but the person feels he is not able to get the help he needs. This describes my current struggle with porn precisely, as I feel totally out of control and I'm spending hours a few nights a week just searching for something to see even with my filter in place. The worst times are when I get a new device or I find myself in a place with unfiltered access, I begin to search through all the shmutz I found before but couldn't see because of the filter. I'm walking around like a zombie all day and I'm severely under-performing at work because of my lack of sleep and I find myself going to my car periodically for 10-15 minute snoozes throughout the day just so I can function for another couple of hours. I was asked to take over delivering a regular shiur recently and turned it down even though I would have gained tremendously from it because I'm just not functioning.
Does this match anyone else's struggle? Please respond. Thank you to all my brothers out there who are "Imi batzara".]]>
Break Free Wed, 20 Feb 2019 06:56:42 +0000 https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/339092-Desperate-Dreams#339092