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“Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-)
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TOPIC: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 2863 Views

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 02 Dec 2022 11:02 #388759

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Human being wrote on 02 Dec 2022 06:07:
Please feel free to reach out. Many of us have the same desires as you. Your not a creep at all. A creep is someone who doesnt have control over his feelings and cant stop from ACTING on his feelings and desires, not someone who has the desires or feelings. We don't choose our desires and feelings.

And even someone who acts on his desires and has no control, i wouldn't call them a creep. I would call them a poor soul who belongs chemically castrated.

If a person who acts upon these desires are not a "creep" what is your definition of creep then?

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 02 Dec 2022 11:06 #388760

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Shtarkandemotional wrote on 11 Feb 2022 15:41:
Sometimes we forget and we thinking lusting in porn is the same as lusting in other areas.. so once we fall we might as well “do it right”. Here are some things to remember,
  • porn is very erotic which means it makes your brain go the way more intense route which means your brain gets used to a more extreme Version of pleasure. Which means other natural stuff that generally should be satisfying isn’t. intimacy and all that is left behind and not possible to achieve and feel and get lasting pleasure from! Which means flashbacks are more intense. Your journey to break-free is more intense.
  • It’s proven on the internet that hardcore porn is so much more addictive then soft core porn. (They give an analogy hardcore- heroin. soft core - cocaine)the addictions are much stronger when it’s more erotic and graphic. The way it tackles the brain is stronger. So it’s obvious the more serious stuff we watch the more it’ll harm us. And the less graphic we watch the easier it is to break free!


I would like to clear up one slight problem with this post... The Heroin/ Cocaine analogy isn't true. The addiction is the same. you can trust me on this one...unfortunately

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 04 Dec 2022 05:10 #388841

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Hopeful2022 wrote on 02 Dec 2022 11:02:

Human being wrote on 02 Dec 2022 06:07:
Please feel free to reach out. Many of us have the same desires as you. Your not a creep at all. A creep is someone who doesnt have control over his feelings and cant stop from ACTING on his feelings and desires, not someone who has the desires or feelings. We don't choose our desires and feelings.

And even someone who acts on his desires and has no control, i wouldn't call them a creep. I would call them a poor soul who belongs chemically castrated.

If a person who acts upon these desires are not a "creep" what is your definition of creep then?

I wouldn't call them creeps. AKA they are creepy. But they are also human beings. We humans do things wrong sometimes. Some people do this aviera, some do that aviera. Some people do smaller avieros and less harmful avieros and less creepy avieros, and some people do bigger and more harmful and more creepy avieros. But in Yiddishkiet we believe (or better said, the hashkafa passed down to me from my rebbe is,) that no matter were a person is in life, no matter how many people he harmed, no matter how bad his avieros were, there is ALWAYS a path forward. There is ALWAYS a path to getting closer to Hashem. That path is over when our life is over.  

So to take someone who did creepy actions and define him through those actions and just those actions, isn't a Jewish idea in my opinion. Everyone is a human being. Even people who do terrible things. And yes many human being unfortunately do terribly creepy monstrous things. And to the victims of creepy monstrous acts I say, i love you i support you, i believe you, and im so angry that someone could perpetuate such disgusting and terrible and yes creepy things to you. It is not your fault and the person should pay for his crimes.
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Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 05:52 #389077

Back to the Small tips for this journey - I believe the avodah in becoming a clean person and not allowing lust to take over us - starts from our minds. I used to think that we need to build resilience and learn how to remain strong with the strong desires and thoughts (yes that is important!) however There is something way more important which I started realizing recently which is learning how to manage our thoughts.. because everything starts from the thoughts. Allowing ourselves to think whatever we want and at the same time trying to hold back from certain things is just an uphill battle and is destined to fail at some point. I haven’t found where someone welcomed all lustful thoughts he wanted and never acted on lust physically. when we count days we should be counting how many days can we go without giving much attention to sexual thoughts… when our minds are clean our actions are clean. When our mind is dirty our actions at some point will be dirty too. 
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Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 17:08 #389087

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Now the million dollar question is how do we keep our minds clean?? How do you look away from every sight on the street? Do you fight them? Itll just get stronger. 
I dont know the answer to that. Ive been off P for a long time and M as well. But my thoughts have not gotten better one iota. 
Im constantly being bombarded with bad thoughts. 

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 17:14 #389088

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so true, Chancy. I am now off p and m for 48 days. Being out in the street is still a huge challenge for me. And the thoughts and desires are still there. They don’t seem to get better (by that I mean less frequent or intrusive).
Last Edit: 07 Dec 2022 17:15 by Teshuvahguy. Reason: Remove bold

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 17:31 #389089

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Thoughts and desires are fine; they are part of us, and God understands, and He even may have been the provider for those hirhurim, certainly the facilitator; so keep on contemplatin' and perhaps even starin', as long as you don't fondle an idol or worship your fellow's wife or partner.
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Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 17:42 #389091

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Thanks, Cord. That was helpful!

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 18:24 #389095

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cordnoy wrote on 07 Dec 2022 17:31:
Thoughts and desires are fine; they are part of us, and God understands, and He even may have been the provider for those hirhurim, certainly the facilitator; so keep on contemplatin' and perhaps even starin', as long as you don't fondle an idol or worship your fellow's wife or partner.

hey, Cord! Is that you writing that?

Re: “Shtark” insight that may make you “emotional”:-) 07 Dec 2022 18:45 #389097

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cordnoy wrote on 07 Dec 2022 17:31:
Thoughts and desires are fine; they are part of us, and God understands, and He even may have been the provider for those hirhurim, certainly the facilitator; so keep on contemplatin' and perhaps even starin', as long as you don't fondle an idol or worship your fellow's wife or partner.

Cord am i having a bad hashbaah on you?!   -only love my friend:kissing_heart:
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