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ADVICE NEEDED
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: ADVICE NEEDED 1324 Views

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 10 Dec 2020 14:47 #358510

  • jack123
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10 days going strongI haven't been able to chat or post bcoz I don't have my device at the moment, using someone else's and can't be too longBut I'll be backJack

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 13 Dec 2020 05:32 #358584

Keep it up!
Joined as a single bochur, Bh broke free (but still on watch) by using the tools on this website, therapy but mainly through getting married. 

הנותן עיניו במה שאינו שלו, מה שמבקש לא נותנים לו, ומה שבידו נוטלים ממנה

(סוטה ט, עמוד א)


ולכן אל יפול לב אדם
וכו' גם אם יהיה כן כל ימיו במלחמה זו כי אולי לכך נברא וזאת עבודתו לאכפיא לס"א תמיד 
(תניא פ"כז)

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 16 Dec 2020 14:06 #358820

  • jack123
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16 days in. Today was groundbreaking. I was holding a hairbreadth away from acting out basically going that way, and for the first time ever, so close to falling, I snapped out of it and stopped myself.     A public pat on my back!!!!!               Let's keep fighting!!!!!! 

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 16 Dec 2020 14:11 #358822

  • Grant400
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jack123 wrote on 16 Dec 2020 14:06:
16 days in. Today was groundbreaking. I was holding a hairbreadth away from acting out basically going that way, and for the first time ever, so close to falling, I snapped out of it and stopped myself.     A public pat on my back!!!!!               Let's keep fighting!!!!!! 

Amazing! Thanks for sharing!

If I may ask, what exactly helped you?

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 16 Dec 2020 20:54 #358843

  • jack123
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Im not entirely sure but there definitely was a thought that I'm going to have to post that I fell.              Thanks for asking, bcoz I never thought about it myself. 

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 16 Dec 2020 21:11 #358845

  • Grant400
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jack123 wrote on 16 Dec 2020 20:54:
Im not entirely sure but there definitely was a thought that I'm going to have to post that I fell.              Thanks for asking, bcoz I never thought about it myself. 

Yup! That thought helps me too!

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 16 Dec 2020 21:18 #358847

  • Zedj
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[spoiler][/spoiler]When you held yourself back, you may not have realized it but your nefesh elokus was shining bright.

It's really amazing, although I'm in a mess myself, Im in the front lines of a battle that alot of people don't see. The shine of the G-dly soul is magnified on this site.
Keep it up!

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Last Edit: 16 Dec 2020 21:25 by Zedj.

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 22 Dec 2020 22:13 #359438

  • jack123
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Three weeks +.           Lately I've been attacked with strong urges and twice I almost fell, if anyone felt the same at 3 weeks please let me know how long it lasts. The dangerous thing is that since I controlled myself even after going close it give a false sense of security as if I am in control, when the reality is the opposite.                                Thanks, jack

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 22 Dec 2020 23:58 #359441

  • Zedj
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Yes, 3 weeks is in the margin for withdrawal symptoms..that's what they say.
It gets tough but it will pass eventually.

One who has given up hope is without a G‑d.

One who sees hope in each day is already free

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 23 Dec 2020 01:58 #359443

  • Hashem Help Me
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Each time you successfully ride the waves of a withdrawal attack, you are sending your brain a message that the urge really has no power. It is like cotton candy. It looks big but it can be crushed into a miniscule nothingness. So the answer to your question - The sooner you learn to simply not panic when hit with an urge, and accept that these urges will come and go, but really have no power  that is when they will iyh greatly subside. 
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 24 Dec 2020 01:54 #359550

  • jack123
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BAD NEWS       I fell:cry: but 2 silver linings here. Firstly I didnt do porn. Second for the first time I'm admitting I fell and accepting that falling doesnt mean failure.           So this time I headed straight here to report it, and I won't run away for 6months!!!!!!!       I'm still proud of 23days.         Thanks jack

העבר עיני מראות שוא, בדרכיך חיני [תהלים קי"ט]

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 24 Dec 2020 01:59 #359553

  • Captain
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One day when you hit 230 days you'll look back at this great decision. Thanks for not running away! Don't give up!
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Great free resources:
My favorite book for breaking free: The Battle of the Generation 
https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Change your attitude and change your life!

Rabbi Shafier's incredible lectures on breaking free: The Fight. Download here: 
https://theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 24 Dec 2020 02:05 #359556

  • Sapy
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Hey Jack! 
STOP! Dont think about it.. 
we all fall, it's part of the process... 
Tomorrow is a brand new day!
just use the fall to learn more about yourself and your struggle, what lead you to the fall, what measures could you take to prevent it from happening again etc 
Pick yourself up dust off and back on the road!!!
Last Edit: 24 Dec 2020 02:06 by Sapy.

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 24 Dec 2020 02:14 #359560

  • Hashem Help Me
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jack123 wrote on 24 Dec 2020 01:54:
BAD NEWS       I fell:cry: but 2 silver linings here. Firstly I didnt do porn. Second for the first time I'm admitting I fell and accepting that falling doesnt mean failure.           So this time I headed straight here to report it, and I won't run away for 6months!!!!!!!       I'm still proud of 23days.         Thanks jack

Good news:  1. Your eyes stayed clean. Eyes staying clean keeps the mind clear and helps us rewire our thoughts about sexuality.    2. You stopped after acting out once. A mountain climber upon stumling into a ditch has a choice - either to roll down the mountain or to rather bandage his wounds and enjoy the view.  Jack - you decided to enjoy the view! Keep climbing with your clean eyes, healing brain, and self confidence intact. And on your way up, send down a rope to those below (by posting on this thread) so others can follow.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: ADVICE NEEDED 24 Dec 2020 03:28 #359568

  • Ish MiGrodno
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Jack,

I had 30+ years of not reaching your madraiga of coming clean and dusting myself off.

​The GYE oilam is 100% behind you and are no less proud of your achievement of: (1) stopping in your tracks AND (2) keeping your heilige eyes clean

Chin up, dear friend

I.M.G.

ה׳ עמך גבור החיל! [שופטים ו׳ יב׳]

 Perhaps you can find chizuk from my thread at guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/356161-Intro 

Feel free to reach out to me at
jackz90dys@gmail.com

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