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I'm Back!
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: I'm Back! 5780 Views

Re: I'm Back! 24 Mar 2021 00:01 #365996

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Another super busy day in the zone! Thank you Hashem!!

Re: I'm Back! 25 Mar 2021 00:21 #366054

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B"H still doing well and staying in the zone.

Been dealing with HALT (hungry, tired, overwhelmed, etc.) lately between crazy busy at work (b"H!) and preparing for Pesach, and I've been feeling pretty stretched. I had some moments today where I had the urge to escape in the "comfy" world of taiva and did peek at a couple of very benign things. Nothing close to a slip or fall, but it's what starts the ball rolling in that direction and it's a breach of my commitment to not go anywhere on my computer that I wouldn't want my wife to see. (It doesn't have to be anything that intense to fall in that category).

So, I am strengthening my commitment to bl"n not go anywhere on my computer that I wouldn't want my wife to see and will check in on my thread here tomorrow regarding this commitment specifically. 

Re: I'm Back! 25 Mar 2021 21:12 #366084

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B”H had a great day today and was able to stick to my commitment.

I just want to leave off that I feel ready to go into Pesach in the right frame of mind and way of living. Regardless of my exact current streak, I truly feel that I have become a different person since joining GYE a few years ago and have developed a healthier relationship with these taivos and a belief in myself that I can live the life I want to live. (I used to feel that I would never be able to break free.) Yes, this is a lifelong battle, but b”H I feel that I now have the resources, tools, and confidence to continue fighting.

Thank you Hashem and GYE for my own personal yetzias mitzrayim, and may we all be zoiche to the ultimate geula when all these struggles become a thing of the past!

Chag Kosher Vsameach,

Determinedtowin

Re: I'm Back! 31 Mar 2021 00:12 #366204

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Gut Moed!

Working today and tomorrow. B"H I had a beautiful and uplifting first days and am feeling quite "kosher l'Pesach". Looking forward to a beautiful rest of yom tov.

See ya back here tomorrow be"H!

Re: I'm Back! 09 Apr 2021 04:57 #366570

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Hey!

How is it going? Would love to hear an update.

Re: I'm Back! 22 Apr 2021 20:44 #367295

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Thanks for checking in. I'm still alive b"H

It's been busy and up and down since Pesach.
I realized that I could block google completely which leaves me with a true whitelist now b"H. I'm hoping that, now that I'm no longer sitting in a matzav of yichud all the time, I will have an easier time against the y"h.

Re: I'm Back! 22 Apr 2021 21:27 #367298

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I realized that I could block google completely which leaves me with a true whitelist now b"H.

I did the same thing and worked wonders for me saved me from falling so many times
Think about how good you'll feel if you say no to desire and compare that to how bad you'll feel if you say yes.

Desire is unique in the way that it is never fulfilled -  if you give in the desire comes back even more powerful in just a few days. Telling yourself that its ok because this is really the last time doesn't work because you are just adding new images to your head that will cause future falls.

The Joy of triumph over the yetzer hara is worth the effort it takes to win. It IS worth it! Keep fighting!


My thread: 
Aiming to be better

Re: I'm Back! 06 May 2021 18:30 #368076

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14

Re: I'm Back! 14 May 2021 17:30 #368597

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22 b"H!

Re: I'm Back! 28 Jun 2021 16:15 #370289

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B"H doing good and in good zone these days. Be"H it should just continue!

I just wanted to check in since I got a new computer that needs to be set up. It may be a day or two until the filter is up and running. I'm feeling okay right now, but wanted another level of shemira by letting you guys know. I will bl"n check back in once the filter is properly set up up.

Thanks!

Re: I'm Back! 28 Jun 2021 20:44 #370298

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B"H all set!! No issues!!

Re: I'm Back! 11 Aug 2021 20:41 #371556

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Its been a while again...

I think I have a hard time with the all or nothing feeling that the constant tracking and checking in can cause. I think many of us see so much growth and then get discouraged by the falls that make it feel like we failed and blew it all. I think that's why I have been trucking on my own lately. 

Still growing, still fighting, still wining battles... but also still falling too often (giving in?).

Ellul is here and I must do something more. This is not how I want to be spending my days while I am trying to prepare for the Yom Hadin. I can give myself room to be a growing person and not having to be perfect as long as I feel that I am actually trying my best and indeed working hard to fight using the tools Hashem has given me to fight with. 

Hence, I am back once again! I plan on posting daily updates again on this thread at least throughout the Yomim Norayim. It's good to back  

Please hold me to it! Thank you all!

Re: I'm Back! 13 Aug 2021 15:52 #371591

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B"H going strong!

Re: I'm Back! 15 Aug 2021 20:34 #371621

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Keep trucking, brother!
For the background to my name- see Tanya פרק טו.
״שההפרש בין עובד אלוקים לצדיק הוא שעובד הוא לשון הווה, שהוא באמצע העבודה״
-Oived Elokim means a constant work in progress...
“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future”.

My old thread

My current thread 

Re: I'm Back! 19 Aug 2021 16:55 #371750

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B"H still solidly on track!

(I wasn't able to post the last few days since I was out of town.)
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